ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

snowy ciara said:

ROFL... I was going to lament my lack of asshat pms. But then I logged into collarme, so I could read the message boards.... Here is what my profile says:





I get:

"Hi. Ware U at?"

me: "My location is irrelevent as I am not looking for a hook-up. "

asshat: "Not lookin' for a hook. Call me. " He then gave me his number.


Me: "Congratulations wienie. You have made the number 16 spot on my blocked user list."

I get a pm from ANOTHER user name. Same guy, as he quoted my last response.

"Whatz U problem? Why cant U b nice to me? U don't wanna a Master?"


Me: "Of course I want a Master someday, asshat. If you find one, please feel free to make another username and let me know! Until then, I'm blocking this one, too."

From a THIRD profile, this one identifying himself as a switch mtf trans:

"I can maek U hapy. Don't make a Master beg. Itz not nize."

By this time, I'm laughing so hard it hurts, and I've got tears streaming down my cheeks. I laughed so hard I twinged something in my knee. My mother comes in and I show her the PM's and she's dying. I'm so glad I can share this shi- er stuff with her!

I respond. "OMG, you're killing me here! I'm laughing so hard I gotta pee. My mum's laughing her ass off. She thinks you're cute. Look, I'm going to put this name on ignore too; so when you switch names and contact me again just give me a list of all yourselves and make it easy on us both."

I haven't heard from him yet.

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snowy ciara said:

and why do they use multiple profiles? If I didn't like you the first time, I won't like you the second, but to go for three. My goodness!

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snowy ciara said:

or something, I mean, he quoted what I'd said to the other names. I'm so confused, in between my giggles.

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snowy ciara said:

Probably! He'd probably take this whole thread as a compliment!

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snowy ciara said:

"I can maek U hapy. Don't make a Master beg. Itz not nize."

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FurryFury said:

Why do people even bother to send things written that way?

*grr*

Fury

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Joe Schmoe said:

That is rich! Too fucking funny.

You girls get all the fun ones out there.

All I ever got were the needy clingy types. Not a lot of fun in that.

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snowy ciara said:

Okay ladies, I think we need to write Joe a classic collar me PM....

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snowy ciara said:

ROFL... I was going to lament my lack of asshat pms. But then I logged into collarme, so I could read the message boards.... Here is what my profile says:





I get:

"Hi. Ware U at?"

me: "My location is irrelevent as I am not looking for a hook-up. "

asshat: "Not lookin' for a hook. Call me. " He then gave me his number.


Me: "Congratulations wienie. You have made the number 16 spot on my blocked user list."

I get a pm from ANOTHER user name. Same guy, as he quoted my last response.

"Whatz U problem? Why cant U b nice to me? U don't wanna a Master?"


Me: "Of course I want a Master someday, asshat. If you find one, please feel free to make another username and let me know! Until then, I'm blocking this one, too."

From a THIRD profile, this one identifying himself as a switch mtf trans:

"I can maek U hapy. Don't make a Master beg. Itz not nize."

By this time, I'm laughing so hard it hurts, and I've got tears streaming down my cheeks. I laughed so hard I twinged something in my knee. My mother comes in and I show her the PM's and she's dying. I'm so glad I can share this shi- er stuff with her!

I respond. "OMG, you're killing me here! I'm laughing so hard I gotta pee. My mum's laughing her ass off. She thinks you're cute. Look, I'm going to put this name on ignore too; so when you switch names and contact me again just give me a list of all yourselves and make it easy on us both."

I haven't heard from him yet.

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graceanne said:

Cause they're too dumb to know that it's badly misspelled.

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chris9 said:

I don't think you can really say it's badly misspelled. I'd say there is an absolute lack of spelling, thus no opportunity of misspelling anything...

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graceanne said:

Either way, he's too dumb to know that what he just sent makes him look like a moron.

Frankly, not being able to spell does't make you stupid. K can't spell for shit and frankly neither could Einstein. But K knows he can't spell, which is why he doesn't spend time in forums and stuff. And if he does have to do somethng that involves spelling he either has me read over it, or he has me type it for him.

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chris9 said:

Maybe using language like 'r u' whatever and stuff is considered cool by some

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chris9 said:

Maybe using language like 'r u' whatever and stuff is considered cool by some

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Joe Schmoe said:

R u implying something?

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graceanne said:

I don't think it's a matter of thinking it's cool, but being lazy.

Besides, those aren't the only mistakes he made.

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graceanne said:

Good lord. So that dude I was talking to yesterday. I didn't bother to block him, cause it seemed to me that he'd gotten the idea and would leave me alone. Today he PM's me again (and yes, now he's blocked). Here's what he said:

him: Hello Little Lovely Sub Grace!

It is I says: hi

him:How are you today?

It is I says: tired

him: I look for a fine slut...submissive...is that you?

It is I says:no

him: why not?

It is I says: causei'm owned

him:well are you a fine collared slut?

It is I says:well He thinks so

him:what do you think?

It is I says:i think so, too

him:in what way are you slutty?

It is I says: in ways that are none of your business

him:???

him: no need to be shy...

him:in what ways are you slutty?

At this point I blocked him.

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