Why do you like pain?

Nezhul said:

you are going in circles guys. I suggest you just stop answering DudeA, because I see the same arguments and contra-arguments from both him and you for three times now. Just.... stop. For every 5 lines some of you write to him he makes a sheet of text that boils down to that he knows humans (you included) better than you.
There is a term for such people.

Stop interacting, IMO.

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Yup.
I gave up in an earlier thread.
Dude's nowhere near an A.

I don't know what's more fun about this thread, the suggestion that only doms and subs exist in a thread that is distinctly about sadism and masochism and NOT domination and submission, or the idea that there is "twoo" out there and we can find it and identify and label it.

Personally, I liked all points of view. I didn't quite like that someone is calling something else unhealthy tho. Mostly, I don't like the pointless argument, because 1 whole page of the thread is dedicated to just proving who's WRONG on the internet. =)

Nezhul said:

Personally, I liked all points of view. I didn't quite like that someone is calling something else unhealthy tho. Mostly, I don't like the pointless argument, because 1 whole page of the thread is dedicated to just proving who's WRONG on the internet. =)

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The thing about public discussion forums is they may take directions you don't like. You don't get to dictate who responds, and how often, and how long they spend back and forth about an issue.

Also, the people involved in the specific discussion are not the only ones benefitting from it. There are plenty of lurkers who will read the discussion.

ETA:Just because you find it pointless, that doesn't mean everyone does.

SpunThings said:

The thing about public discussion forums is they may take directions you don't like. You don't get to dictate who responds, and how often, and how long they spend back and forth about an issue.

Also, the people involved in the specific discussion are not the only ones benefitting from it. There are plenty of lurkers who will read the discussion.

ETA:Just because you find it pointless, that doesn't mean everyone does.

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Do you think I can't understand that? But a discussion and a debate for the sake of debate are two different things. DudeA was simply repeating himself over and over, unwavering in his view of the world. Others threw the same arguments at him over and over. It was pointless on both fronts. That's why I thought everyone should just stop.

Etoile said:

relevant xkcd

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My husband sends that to me all the time. I just can't resist though.

I also don't use other people's judgements for what's a pointless argument. So Nezhul, you're just going to have to deal with it. It wasn't pointless for me, as I was getting something valuable out of it. Sometimes arguing with other people can help solidify and better explain what you believe later. Also, sometimes it helps me understand the other person, which makes it easier for me to accept and deal with their point of view.

To bring it back on topic, I think masochism plays a role here too. I get in arguments and people think I'm mad, upset, or even offended. That's rarely the case. I just love the emotional heat of a back and forth. What's painful to some, is exhilarating to others.

My sub liked to her limits pushed well except when she didn't. It was a dance we had to learn. Some times she liked to be burned with cigs or whipped till she bled. Other times she wanted to be simply held. Sometimes I new exactly what she wanted and she was glad I pushed her limits. Other times we had to have a talk. I guess my point is sometime doms or subs don't know exactly what they want but is not abuse. This is not to say abuse doesn't happen and it's wrong but in a bdsm relationship limits are constantly being pushed and one misunderstanding is not an abusive relationship.

This quote works for me.

cascadiabound said:

This quote works for me.

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This is perfect.

LegsOpenedWide said:

I would never have put myself in the liking pain category once upon, but clamping my nipples has been a wonderful discovery. It hurts like fuck at the time but totally gets me going. It's like a direct link to down below and feels amazing.

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Me, too, dear. Especially when I wear them in public, under a loose dress so that nobody can see them. Thank God for public restrooms...

Nezhul said:

Ok, my question is for those who find receiving pain enjoyable. Not necessarily in a physical sense.

I ask this question because I cannot explain it to myself. I know I don't like pain as a feeling - pain hurts . But I still kinda like the idea of being restrained and tortured a bit. And yea, as much as I may hate the process I have to admit that with my limited experience I liked it still. There are also periods in my life where I enjoy pain-oriented porn, and I don't enjoy so much seeing someone tortured as imagining being in their place.
I still can't put it into words.

I tried searching for some articles, but they either boil down to chemistry (hormones) or address the submissive side of it (being below someone). Those answers didn't seem very good for me.

Not that it is really IMPORTANT to put the answer into words. I'm totally fine with just liking what I like and not thinking too much about it. But I write a story where I really wanted to explain it and found out I couldn't, so I thought that maybe the forum will give me some ideas.

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I like pain because it's a turn on for me. It's almost always a bit of a surprise to touch myself and feel how wet I've become from being hit, flogged, whipped, etc. But what I like most about pain is the emotional release I have after being pushed to a limit. It's not a release I have an easy time reaching under normal circumstances.

i don't particularly enjoy pain but i love having my bare ass spanked or getting a belt across it before a good hard pounding

I hadn't seen this thread because I've mostly been offline for a while. Ironically, it was because of mostly-no-fun-at-all pain.

I'm a painslut and moderate masochist. I love the pain Master gives me from a variety of BDSM-type play. He enjoys giving it to me, though you'd have to ask him about what he gets out of it. I like the build-up of sensation and that crystal moment when "too much" becomes exquisitely fulfilling. I can orgasm from a good flogging or caning. I'm an endorphin junkie. I adore the way that Master can play my body until the next last, the next pinch, the next touch can make my mind come apart so all the stresses and worries simply fall apart. He takes me out of my head by making me focus on my body.

I've never been able to attain anything resembling the same euphoria by self-injury. I dabbled with cutting very briefly in my teens, but it doesn't push the same buttons and isn't satisfying. I need the partnership, the feedback, the push that I can't give myself.

A curious thing happened a month ago, that has made me do some thinking. I tripped, fell, and broke my arm. And I got an endorphin rush that lasted hours. I still complained mightily about the entire thing, every bounce in the ambulance was awful, but there was this rather trippy mental separation that reminded me very much of subspace. Yeah, I know it was probably shock, but it was...interesting. Even trundling around for three weeks before surgery with just a splint and sling gave me little zings of 'la-la-land' for a while. Now that I'm put back together, though, there's absolutely no rush from the incision and its related pain. No clue what that means, if anything. I'm just bored, now, and itching (literally, in spots) to get back to the things that I enjoy, like a thorough flogging. Master has been just a bit too cautious, though it's much appreciated.

And see, there I go....I have a slash from shoulder to elbow and I'm contemplating how wonderful some "tasty" pain would be, to help me shed all of the stress of this last month!

I do not like extreme pain; however, I truly enjoy minor pain of a sexual nature. By allowing a guy to inflict some pain is saying to him, "Yes, I'm submissive and Yes, you can make me yours, you can bend me, but please don't break me."

This question will get a variety of answers across the spectrum because the concept of degree of pain is very subjective, dependent on the person's nerve sensitivity, and a host of other factors.

For me, pain is only pleasurable if I experience it during arousal, under the right circumstances. In particular, pain administered to my sexual "hotspot" areas (nipples, ass, genitals) gives me an endorphin "high" which intensifies the sensations and provides me with an even higher level of pain tolerance as a scene goes on. And of course, I need to be mentally in a the right frame of mind to really appreciate this pain/pleasure nexus. If my mind is not on board, the physical part doesn't have the same effect.

cascadiabound said:

This quote works for me.

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Me, too.

I wrote a story called "The Path of Pain." I got a few comments about how unrealistic the story was, how a person would not torture herself for sexual gratification. I wish I had had that quote to respond to them, because that was exactly what the story was about.

Athalia said:

Me, too.

I wrote a story called "The Path of Pain." I got a few comments about how unrealistic the story was, how a person would not torture herself for sexual gratification. I wish I had had that quote to respond to them, because that was exactly what the story was about.

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People are so silly pretending to know about things they do not. Just ignore those who have not experienced such things, are not wired this way, and apparently do not have the wisdom to recognize that their individual experience is NOT universal.

It's a strange thing to me also, yet strangely exciting. I run for the hills at the slightest pain, yet at certain times. My wife will jack me and suck hard (bite at exactly the right time) at my nipple and it will speed my orgasm. My penis is quite small, yet in my fantasies, and much of my writing, it is so large that it is an instrument of pain. My sexual partners, in my writing, or those of my protagonist Lance Pierce, want pain, but only specifically to be hurt by a large cock.

Now here is the deal. I have vague memories or pseudo memories of being raped at YMCA camp when I was very young about 10or 11. I do not remember anything specific in re penetration, pain, etc, but only an unidentified big black boy repeating the phrase, "Gonna get some booty" and being behind or atop me. Could it be that I, and others, are secretly seeking to replicate the fear, (and excitement) of a hidden experience?

I can handle a lot of physical pain, although I don't prefer it. I like good hurts like ass slaps and chokes.
Emotional pain does me right in, though.
Like cb says, it's about trust. If I can't trust who I am with, the hurt really HURTS.