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Questioning myself as a 'M'

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Luippa

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Jun 23, 2017
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Hi, I have been doing a lot of research on what it's to be a masochist and though I am not as extreme as some cases I still find myself relating. Not so much with mental pain but with physical.

I still question myself though cause when I feel pain it's a bit more than pleasure. It's like a rush or a quick high. I feel my body become almost drunk with it and It feels so good. Which is probably why when I looked it up it came with the search result masochism. I guess I just want to see if what I am expieriening is actually masochism or is it something else? I don't know, no one really talks about their experiences like I think of mine. If you habe more question you are welcome to ask.

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I have talked a lot and figured out a lot. If you want to add anything more than you are welcome to do so. If you wanna share your story you can as well.
I know this site is mostly for erotica but it is also important to talk about it in a non sexual context as well. (All you psychology nerds and introspective thinkers be free.) That being said feel free to share your sexual experiences as well if desired.

A quick thank you for everyone who has given light on my confusion. I appreciate it greatly!! Love, Luippa
 
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Any form of enjoyment derived from pain or abuse, be they mental or physical - is masochim.

You may like the feeling.
You may like that it strips you of your human rights.
Or, after the pain is over, you may enjoy that you've managed to overcome it and pull through.
Some enjoy the helplessness itbrings. Some like the marks, bruises. Others like the adrenaline high (it feels like that's your case).
For some people it is simply a token, a sign and proof of the power exchange. If the dom can hurt me at his whim, this makes me smaller/weaker/lower/submissive to them.

Whatever it is for you, if you derive any pleasure from being hurt - prior, during or post the fact - then you can rightfully say you are a masochist.:cattail:
 
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Nezhul said:
Any form of enjoyment derived from pain or abuse, be they mental or physical - is masochim.

You may like the feeling.
You may like that it strips you of your human rights.
Or, after the pain is over, you may enjoy that you've managed to overcome it and pull through.
Some enjoy the helplessness itbrings. Some like the marks, bruises. Others like the adrenaline high (it feels like that's your case).
For some people it is simply a token, a sign and proof of the power exchange. If the dom can hurt me at his whim, this makes me smaller/weaker/lower/submissive to them.

Whatever it is for you, if you derive any pleasure from being hurt - prior, during or post the fact - then you can rightfully say you are a masochist.:cattail:
Click to expand...

Thank you for your words, I didn't want to over step myself and your words have hidden me a lot of insight. Thank you again for your time.
 
Luippa said:
Hi, I have been doing a lot of research on what it's to be a masochist and though I am not as extreme as some cases I still find myself relating. Not so much with mental pain but with physical.

I still question myself though cause when I feel pain it's a bit more than pleasure. It's like a rush or a quick high. I feel my body become almost drunk with it and It feels so good. Which is probably why when I looked it up it came with the search result masochism. I guess I just want to see if what I am expieriening is actually masochism or is it something else? I don't know, no one really talks about their experiences like I think of mine. If you habe more question you are welcome to ask.
Click to expand...

You might check out 'algolagnia' which can be used as a synonym for masochism, but which is narrower and also refers to a 'disorder' in which pain is experienced as pleasure.
 
I just remembered an interesting girl I talked to. She claimed that she didn't enjoy pain, but she enjoyed putting herself in situations (safe ones, with a dominant) that would make her suffer. She liked the moment she was tied up and knew she was helpless to stop what's coming next. She'd be afraid and would start tearing up and trembling, but that's what she liked most about it.:cattail:

Just another example of how masochism can take any shape or form.
 
Nezhul said:
I just remembered an interesting girl I talked to. She claimed that she didn't enjoy pain, but she enjoyed putting herself in situations (safe ones, with a dominant) that would make her suffer. She liked the moment she was tied up and knew she was helpless to stop what's coming next. She'd be afraid and would start tearing up and trembling, but that's what she liked most about it.:cattail:

Just another example of how masochism can take any shape or form.
Click to expand...

I am starting to understand that masochism can be an umbrella term. I guess media and top stories have given me the impression that it was exclusive. Thank you for your story.
 
DrDelirium said:
You might check out 'algolagnia' which can be used as a synonym for masochism, but which is narrower and also refers to a 'disorder' in which pain is experienced as pleasure.
Click to expand...

I will look it up, though I don't think I have a disorder (meaning I am hindered because of my thoughts) it's something that can give me more to know. Thank you for your input!!
 
How do others talk about it? It's not something I've seen discussed in here so much (although admittedly I haven't been looking). It is a complete bloody mystery though, isn't it - I cannot for the life of me work out why it feels so good. Is is just a base physical reaction, or is it more psychological.
Re: the 'drunk' analogy - a while back, after a fairly intensive bit of pain-play, I ended up in a really interesting state that, at the time, I described as like having morphine. I did a bit of digging later (mostly around what others describe as 'sub space'). I'm not sure if what happened (and has happened again) with me was technically 'sub space', but a few places mentioned that pain can result in the release of endorphins that mimic ... you guessed it, morphine.
I wouldn't want to go looking for that, because it seems a bit risky, but it's an interesting thing.
 
Luippa said:
I will look it up, though I don't think I have a disorder (meaning I am hindered because of my thoughts) it's something that can give me more to know. Thank you for your input!!
Click to expand...

I put 'disorder' in quotes because it's not always perceived as problem by those who have it. If it leads you to do overly dangerous things in pursuit of painful pleasures, that's a problem, but the E.R. is full of people who got there pursuing more directly pleasurable pleasures, so it's really about having some sense, not the condition itself.
 
KimGordon67 said:
How do others talk about it? It's not something I've seen discussed in here so much (although admittedly I haven't been looking). It is a complete bloody mystery though, isn't it - I cannot for the life of me work out why it feels so good. Is is just a base physical reaction, or is it more psychological.
Re: the 'drunk' analogy - a while back, after a fairly intensive bit of pain-play, I ended up in a really interesting state that, at the time, I described as like having morphine. I did a bit of digging later (mostly around what others describe as 'sub space'). I'm not sure if what happened (and has happened again) with me was technically 'sub space', but a few places mentioned that pain can result in the release of endorphins that mimic ... you guessed it, morphine.
I wouldn't want to go looking for that, because it seems a bit risky, but it's an interesting thing.
Click to expand...

I guess they talk about it in sexy talk or just what they like. Sorta like a erotic writing which is fine, but I wanted to talk or hear about in a more 'matter of fact' way outside of Wikipedia definition.

Its my first time hearing sub space, and though I don't know if my body is giving me morphine or not, ill just call what I experience sub space as well. Sub space seems like accurate enough terminology.

Wow, thank you I have been given a lot of insight. Thank you for your time.
 
DrDelirium said:
I put 'disorder' in quotes because it's not always perceived as problem by those who have it. If it leads you to do overly dangerous things in pursuit of painful pleasures, that's a problem, but the E.R. is full of people who got there pursuing more directly pleasurable pleasures, so it's really about having some sense, not the condition itself.
Click to expand...

Oh okay, that makes sense. I know thats its easy to feel 'out of the norm' with preferences like this. And it's even easier for some one 'vanilla' to think that way too. I think I'm okay and I don't feel like I'm pushing it too far. Oh jeez I think the idea of having to talk to a doctor about this is plenty enough motivation for me to keep it safe lol.
 
Luippa said:
I guess they talk about it in sexy talk or just what they like. Sorta like a erotic writing which is fine, but I wanted to talk or hear about in a more 'matter of fact' way outside of Wikipedia definition.

Its my first time hearing sub space, and though I don't know if my body is giving me morphine or not, ill just call what I experience sub space as well. Sub space seems like accurate enough terminology.

Wow, thank you I have been given a lot of insight. Thank you for your time.
Click to expand...

I don't think your body is capable of producing actual morphine - it's something else that has similar effects. Which sort of makes sense - body goes 'pain! how can i best tackle this ... make her feel happy!'
I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff, because I find it all so puzzling. Luckily that doesn't stop me enjoying it.
 
KimGordon67 said:
I don't think your body is capable of producing actual morphine - it's something else that has similar effects. Which sort of makes sense - body goes 'pain! how can i best tackle this ... make her feel happy!'
I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff, because I find it all so puzzling. Luckily that doesn't stop me enjoying it.
Click to expand...

Sorry I am on mobile and I am bad at proof reading, I meant morphine effect. Yeah I'm really interested in the psychology aspect of it cause it's a very hushed topic and it's sorta stereotyped. It also just makes me realize alot about myself as a person and my needs.

Again thank you for talking about this.
 
KimGordon67 said:
I don't think your body is capable of producing actual morphine - it's something else that has similar effects. Which sort of makes sense - body goes 'pain! how can i best tackle this ... make her feel happy!'
I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff, because I find it all so puzzling. Luckily that doesn't stop me enjoying it.
Click to expand...

The basic ingredients are called 'endorphins.' However, that chemical response is only a small part of 'sub-space' as I understand it (opinions vary, of course), much of which is more psychological than physiological. So, a person can generate a flood of endorphins in response to pain without entering anything resembling subspace. And, people can enter at least one version of subspace without any significant amount of pain, although a certain amount of prolonged stress helps. An intensified analog of Stockholm Syndrome and hormones similar to ocytocin probably have more to do with this state than endorphins, although an intense endorphin high may help set the stage for ocytocin (or similar hormone) production, and the process of inflicting the pain to get the endorphin rush gives a focus to Stockholm analog psychological effects that ocytocin reinforces. To the degree to which a kind of subspace can be self-inflicted, it probably isn't what I've described, because some 'other' is important to the psychological portion.
 
DrDelirium said:
The basic ingredients are called 'endorphins.' However, that chemical response is only a small part of 'sub-space' as I understand it (opinions vary, of course), much of which is more psychological than physiological. So, a person can generate a flood of endorphins in response to pain without entering anything resembling subspace. And, people can enter at least one version of subspace without any significant amount of pain, although a certain amount of prolonged stress helps. An intensified analog of Stockholm Syndrome and hormones similar to ocytocin probably have more to do with this state than endorphins, although an intense endorphin high may help set the stage for ocytocin (or similar hormone) production, and the process of inflicting the pain to get the endorphin rush gives a focus to Stockholm analog psychological effects that ocytocin reinforces. To the degree to which a kind of subspace can be self-inflicted, it probably isn't what I've described, because some 'other' is important to the psychological portion.
Click to expand...

I suspect a lot of what's traditionally described as 'subspace' isn't applicable to me - so the version you're speaking of that doesn't rest on pain I don't think would work for me. I understand what you mean about the combination of physical and psychological though - I don't think pain alone would produce the same effect (and it certainly didn't when I was giving birth :rolleyes: ) - it has to be in that particular context. Oxytocin would explain things too. I just remember being struck by how similar the effect was to morphine.
 
DrDelirium said:
The basic ingredients are called 'endorphins.' However, that chemical response is only a small part of 'sub-space' as I understand it (opinions vary, of course), much of which is more psychological than physiological. So, a person can generate a flood of endorphins in response to pain without entering anything resembling subspace. And, people can enter at least one version of subspace without any significant amount of pain, although a certain amount of prolonged stress helps. An intensified analog of Stockholm Syndrome and hormones similar to ocytocin probably have more to do with this state than endorphins, although an intense endorphin high may help set the stage for ocytocin (or similar hormone) production, and the process of inflicting the pain to get the endorphin rush gives a focus to Stockholm analog psychological effects that ocytocin reinforces. To the degree to which a kind of subspace can be self-inflicted, it probably isn't what I've described, because some 'other' is important to the psychological portion.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I can see how if with a partner this can intensify. Here in the BDSM community BDSM is a lifestyle that I have not experienced. But in this chat I have learned that Pain probably gives me endorphins and sexual relief, and that i'm okay about it. I still have a lot to learn but i am at a beginning.

Thank you for your input!
 
Nezhul said:
I just remembered an interesting girl I talked to. She claimed that she didn't enjoy pain, but she enjoyed putting herself in situations (safe ones, with a dominant) that would make her suffer. She liked the moment she was tied up and knew she was helpless to stop what's coming next. She'd be afraid and would start tearing up and trembling, but that's what she liked most about it.:cattail:

Just another example of how masochism can take any shape or form.
Click to expand...

Experienced Doms know about subspace. They put the sub in a,position of discomfort then leave her for a time, in order to allow her to get into that state.

I submitted to a whipping once. The actual pain wasn't that intense but he first tied me naked to a post with a spreader across my ankles. It was somewhat uncomfortable but not excessively so.

He whispered in my ear, "I wonder if you'll be able to take this? But you really have no choice do you?"

Then he left. My mind began whirling, imagining what it would feel like, would I be able to stand it, and finally OH GOD I WISH HE'D JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!!

Fifteen minutes seemed like hours!
 
Luippa said:
Hi, I have been doing a lot of research on what it's to be a masochist and though I am not as extreme as some cases I still find myself relating. Not so much with mental pain but with physical.

I still question myself though cause when I feel pain it's a bit more than pleasure. It's like a rush or a quick high. I feel my body become almost drunk with it and It feels so good. Which is probably why when I looked it up it came with the search result masochism. I guess I just want to see if what I am expieriening is actually masochism or is it something else? I don't know, no one really talks about their experiences like I think of mine. If you habe more question you are welcome to ask.
Click to expand...

This is the same experience that I get as well - the rush, the euphoria. It feels SO GOOD. :) For me, though, it's hard to distinguish whether it's the physical sensation of the pain that's causing it, or the helplessness/control inherent in the situation. Likely both. I don't get euphoric from pain without D/s (so it can't JUST be the pain), but I also can rarely enter subspace/euphoria on mental D/s alone without any physical pain. I think for me, it's the combination that leads to the euphoric state.

I don't know if you or I would be termed a masochist. Possibly, possibly not. I know I'm not interested in pain for pain's sake - for instance, if I was being whipped by a person who was submissive and was 'doing it to please me' where I could easily control everything about the scene, I would have no interest in it.
 
Most of the masochists I've played with seem to fall into some (very broad) categories. There were a few who experienced pain as pleasure, or often experienced pleasure whenever they endured pain. There were some who did not enjoy pain, but found it sexually exciting. There were some who did not enjoy pain in the moment, but enjoyed inviting it and putting themselves into situations where they would have to endure it. All of these individuals, I think, qualify as masochists.
 
My wife only sometimes enjoys/craves pain. It isn't something I enjoy inflicting necessarily but when she asks for it and I know she is in a place to get pleasure from it it becomes fun for both of us. Being fairly new to this myself (less than a year) I assumed it was just something she would either always like or not like at all but I have discovered, at least in her case, it is something she just occasionally craves usually after a fair bit of teasing or a couple hard orgasms.

I have no experience with it other than with one partner so I am not sure how "normal" this is. I assume like most things everyone like something a little different than everyone else.
 
As a submissive and masochist, my experience with pain in a sexual sense is very much like you describe re: feeling drunk. I actually think high is really a more accurate term for how I in particular feel. It's a huge rush, I can't think, sometimes I can't even move. It can often feel similar to an orgasm in intensity, although it's a totally different sensation. It doesn't feel "good" but it feels good, and I know that doesn't make any sense.

So hard to describe but I think any form of pleasure derived from pain can be classified as maschism.
 
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