Professional women that secretly like to be dominated

curvyjae said:

I am glad there are men that are attracted, not intimidated by intelligent, accomplished men. Giving more and more thought into finding someone who fits my needs for a long term arrangement.

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My humble opinion is that men who are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women are probably insecure. And if such men attempt to be "dominant,"'it's because they want to act out their resentment towards such women, which is never a good thing.

I imagine that such a woman would be willing to be dominated by a man only if she respected him AND he respected her. I feel like that point is lost on a lot of people.

SG

SimpleGifts said:

My humble opinion is that men who are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women are probably insecure. And if such men attempt to be "dominant,"'it's because they want to act out their resentment towards such women, which is never a good thing.

I imagine that such a woman would be willing to be dominated by a man only if she respected him AND he respected her. I feel like that point is lost on a lot of people.

SG

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I believe your observation is very accurate.

CutieMouse said:

Professional status and social positions of power are not indicative of a persons "role" or "place" in a relationship (dominant or submissive).

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I agree 100%. I am everything you described, but not submissive in any way. Humiliation comes from the deeper levels of your subconsciousness and has nothing to do with what your proefssional accomplishments are. It comes from learned behavior, genes and many other factors...

I know I am not adding thing new here, but it has also been my experience that many professional women enjoy being able to "lay the burden down" as it were, at the feet of someone they trust. My preference has always been what some folks refer to as "alpha submissives", someone who has no issues asserting themselves in daily life, or being in a position of authority, but wants to be able to relinquish that in private.

The woman who introduced me to the lifestyle was the office manager of a good-sized law firm, and oversaw half a dozen or more legal secretaries and paralegals. My current partner handles managerial duties at a casino, and has had no problem on several occasions getting unruly and confrontational patrons kicked out or barred completely from her places of employment. So yeah, very familiar with this phenomenon (and apparently I have type).

SimpleGifts said:

My humble opinion is that men who are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women are probably insecure. And if such men attempt to be "dominant,"'it's because they want to act out their resentment towards such women, which is never a good thing.

I imagine that such a woman would be willing to be dominated by a man only if she respected him AND he respected her. I feel like that point is lost on a lot of people.

SG

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First off is I have not read most of this thread. I just clicked on the last page so I'm sorry if this point if view has been brought up already.

OK, regarding the above.... I don't think so!!

I think that is an excuse that these women who consider themselves intelligent or accomplished have come up with for why some of these men are not interested in them. Now I will say some men may be intimidated or insecure, but I do believe that is the minority. I am a man and I know how we think. We do talk to each other, not as much as women talk to each other of course, but generally speaking I know how a lot (not all) guys think. We are not intimidated by strong, or aggressive, or intelligent or accomplished women! As a matter of fact I definitely like them, AS LONG as they retain their femininity and softness, and don't possess the very unappealing qualities of being bossy, or argumentative, or trying to take control, or being arrogant. These are common attributes that accompany SOME of these accomplished women. It is not intimidating, these are annoying and unattractive qualities.

Intimidating no, but there may very well be a bit of the traditional or primal urge to be more dominant with your average man, and for those men who are not submissive (most) many of us are just not attracted to these women that act strong or tough or dominant in our presence. Soft and delicate and feminine are all very attractive qualities. Maybe not all the way to prissy, as that can be annoying too, but when a woman is too strong in relating to her man, it just gets annoying and old. It is an unattractive personality trait. The same can be said in reverse. Women often don't like wussy men lacking in confidence that always just want to know "well, what do you want to do, I'm fine with whatever you want to do". Obviously women are not intimidated by that, many just don't find wussy or weak or men lacking in confidence to be very attractive. Same basic idea. Unattractive personality traits. Really a simple idea.

So let's not make up excuses. If you are a strong accomplished woman and are having trouble with men, don't blame them for being intimidated, but rather recognize that they just don't find your type attractive. And yes, there are plenty of exceptions, but I am replying generally to a very generally made statement.

And resenting these women?? Sheesh! I don't think so.

SilverBass said:

First off is I have not read most of this thread. I just clicked on the last page so I'm sorry if this point if view has been brought up already.

OK, regarding the above.... I don't think so!!
.

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Hmm, I don't think you read the post, let alone the thread. I was talking about men who are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women. I didn't say "all men" or even "some men." So my comments only applied to those men who ARE intimidated. If you're not, then that doesn't apply to you.

I will say, the fact that you misread my post and launched into a multi-paragraph diatribe about how women SHOULD act to attract a man, and how they should be strong but not TOO strong, etc., tells a lot about which category of man you actually belong in.

SG

SimpleGifts said:

Hmm, I don't think you read the post, let alone the thread. I was talking about men who are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women. I didn't say "all men" or even "some men." So my comments only applied to those men who ARE intimidated. If you're not, then that doesn't apply to you.

I will say, the fact that you misread my post and launched into a multi-paragraph diatribe about how women SHOULD act to attract a man, and how they should be strong but not TOO strong, etc., tells a lot about which category of man you actually belong in.

SG

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No, I knew exactly what you meant and that is what I was responding to directly. How do you know these men in question that might be intimidated are also insecure? Did they admit that to you, or is that your judgment of them? Or is that the excuse you made up for why they are responding that way? If they admit to it then fine, but that also may be a nicer way to say "sorry, not interested, you are too intimidating", rather than "sorry, you are just not my type". I think you may very well be wrong about the exact men you are talking about.

Second, I NEVER, EVER said anything about how women should act. Where do you see that? Now who here has a lack of skill with comprehension? No, you got that totally wrong, I wasn't telling women to be or act any way, what I was talking about is what many men are attracted to, and the types of women a large majority of men were and were not attracted to. And I never said anything about how a woman SHOULD be strong or too strong, as everyone should be themselves. But in being yourself, people will react to that, and sometimes favorably, and sometimes not.

Geez, Miss Defensive I guess. Please work on your comprehension skills a bit, especially before you call out judgments about what kind of man someone is.

I can completely see the appeal of wanting a soft, feminine, delicate woman, especially if the man possesses more dominant qualities, he seeks his complement and not duplicate. When women are intelligent and very successful, they may or may not embody these traits. From what I have seem of the highest ranking women in my organization, they take on more masculine qualities. Casting no judgement on them, they ought to do what makes them comfortable.
Many young women whom I currently work with are one way at work and another outside of it.

My predominant qualities are wittiness, sass, and a bit of humor inside AND out of work. I hope that doesn't throw men off, but in my experience, they usually like a bit of it just as I absolutely adore a gentleman as gender roles can be rather enjoyable to play. And if he wants to be protective and walk me to my car or take a more dominant hand in the bedroom, all the more power to him.

Skylex499 said:

I can completely see the appeal of wanting a soft, feminine, delicate woman, especially if the man possesses more dominant qualities, he seeks his complement and not duplicate. When women are intelligent and very successful, they may or may not embody these traits. From what I have seem of the highest ranking women in my organization, they take on more masculine qualities. Casting no judgement on them, they ought to do what makes them comfortable.
Many young women whom I currently work with are one way at work and another outside of it.

My predominant qualities are wittiness, sass, and a bit of humor inside AND out of work. I hope that doesn't throw men off, but in my experience, they usually like a bit of it just as I absolutely adore a gentleman as gender roles can be rather enjoyable to play. And if he wants to be protective and walk me to my car or take a more dominant hand in the bedroom, all the more power to him.

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Yep, she's gets it!

SilverBass said:

Yep, she's gets it!

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Tell me the truth. Would it be evil if I admitted that I secretly enjoyed reading that tense exchange? I am such a voyeur at times.

Skylex499 said:

Tell me the truth. Would it be evil if I admitted that I secretly enjoyed reading that tense exchange? I am such a voyeur at times.

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Heck no! Drama is what makes these boards interesting, as long as it is handled reasonably respectfully. Just don't get political, because that is when the nasty is no longer any fun. And besides, being is not necessarily a bad thing anyway!

Skylex499 said:

Tell me the truth. Would it be evil if I admitted that I secretly enjoyed reading that tense exchange? I am such a voyeur at times.

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Haa haa it was a guilty pleasure of mine too inbetween my ramblings.
It was nice to see that not EVERYONE these days have to draw a line in the sand, pout, and take their ball home.

Good on ya you two.

There's a line between being an assertive masculine man, and just being a douche. And the douche's stumble over that line without even noticing it.

The same way too many women can't see the line between independent, intelligent, assertive...and just being a raging cunt.

Respect and understanding intent goes a LOOOOOOONG way to not ending up in either latter category.
And for the record, I'm a sad case. I'm a dominant, reserved, affable Alpha that always is drawn towards Alpha women. Scratches, broken furniture, the occasional embarrassing law enforcement call by the neighbours or hotel clerk...sigh.

Porkwarrior said:

There's a line between being an assertive masculine man, and just being a douche. And the douche's stumble over that line without even noticing it.

The same way too many women can't see the line between independent, intelligent, assertive...and just being a raging cunt.

Respect and understanding intent goes a LOOOOOOONG way to not ending up in either latter category.
And for the record, I'm a sad case. I'm a dominant, reserved, affable Alpha that always is drawn towards Alpha women. Scratches, broken furniture, the occasional embarrassing law enforcement call by the neighbours or hotel clerk...sigh.

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You're a switch. I will never forget the hotel clerk who clearly was hitting on me when we went back to get my phone... Yes it is funny the way I can get cops and hotel clerks to do exactly what I want them to do *giggles* thanks for the memories PW

Porkwarrior said:

There's a line between being an assertive masculine man, and just being a douche. And the douche's stumble over that line without even noticing it.

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That's not a kink issue, that's a life issue.

SilverBass said:

Geez, Miss Defensive I guess. Please work on your comprehension skills a bit, especially before you call out judgments about what kind of man someone is.

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Again, I didn't make a judgment. I just pointed out that others are likely to make their own. You seem to interpret bland comments very negatively.

Oh, and a simple view of my profile would show you that I'm male.
Don't let that stop you from trying to convince us that you know what you're talking about.

SG

SimpleGifts said:

Again, I didn't make a judgment. I just pointed out that others are likely to make their own. You seem to interpret bland comments very negatively.

Oh, and a simple view of my profile would show you that I'm male.
Don't let that stop you from trying to convince us that you know what you're talking about.

SG

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I did think you were a woman, it sounded like it, and I did not check your profile. I don't know what I am talking about anymore than anyone else does, we all just have opinions, however I am always quick to notice a judgement being made. But that is OK, we all make judgements and generalizations to a degree, often without realizing it. What I was saying is that I just disagree with you. Completely and entirely. Simple as that. When you get all defensive like that it can bring out reactions from whoever you are conversing with. Don't be surprised when this happens.

SilverBass said:

No, I knew exactly what you meant and that is what I was responding to directly. How do you know these men in question that might be intimidated are also insecure? Did they admit that to you, or is that your judgment of them? Or is that the excuse you made up for why they are responding that way? If they admit to it then fine, but that also may be a nicer way to say "sorry, not interested, you are too intimidating", rather than "sorry, you are just not my type". I think you may very well be wrong about the exact men you are talking about.

Second, I NEVER, EVER said anything about how women should act. Where do you see that? Now who here has a lack of skill with comprehension? No, you got that totally wrong, I wasn't telling women to be or act any way, what I was talking about is what many men are attracted to, and the types of women a large majority of men were and were not attracted to. And I never said anything about how a woman SHOULD be strong or too strong, as everyone should be themselves. But in being yourself, people will react to that, and sometimes favorably, and sometimes not.

Geez, Miss Defensive I guess. Please work on your comprehension skills a bit, especially before you call out judgments about what kind of man someone is.

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Actually, I'm with SG here, in that you pretty much did say how women 'should' act: "We are not intimidated by strong, or aggressive, or intelligent or accomplished women! As a matter of fact I definitely like them, AS LONG as they retain their femininity and softness, and don't possess the very unappealing qualities of being bossy, or argumentative, or trying to take control, or being arrogant. These are common attributes that accompany SOME of these accomplished women. It is not intimidating, these are annoying and unattractive qualities." Admittedly, you did frame this 'I definitely like them, as long as ... etc', but that's really just a way of saying 'I like them if they're like this, because this is how I think women should act'.
And, as a woman, I kind of take exception with the notion that women shouldn't act 'strong' or 'take control' in men's presence. I am strong, and being that way is just who I am. I frequently do take control - even with men around - because in a lot of situations I just am the person who knows best what to do. None of my friends or partners find this annoying or unattractive - in fact, in most instances, it's precisely those qualities (among others) that men find attractive in me.

I also don't think women, as a rule, go around complaining about men not being attractive to them because they're intimidated. I've found out through various avenues that some men have found me intimidating, which always bemuses the hell out of me, because I really don't think I am. But I'm not interested in guys who need a compliant woman. I don't really care whether that's because they're insecure or intimidated or because they want an opposite to their dominant streak or because they just like softer versions of femininity - which is fine, I have no problem with that, but I'm not just going to be compliant, so there's no point in having anything to do with them.

KimGordon67 said:

Actually, I'm with SG here, in that you pretty much did say how women 'should' act: "We are not intimidated by strong, or aggressive, or intelligent or accomplished women! As a matter of fact I definitely like them, AS LONG as they retain their femininity and softness, and don't possess the very unappealing qualities of being bossy, or argumentative, or trying to take control, or being arrogant. These are common attributes that accompany SOME of these accomplished women. It is not intimidating, these are annoying and unattractive qualities." Admittedly, you did frame this 'I definitely like them, as long as ... etc', but that's really just a way of saying 'I like them if they're like this, because this is how I think women should act'.

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I really didn't take it as him saying women 'should' be a specific way...just describing his own preference. I think the problem is he made a generalization (which he also admitted to in his closing statement). Generalizations are bad in that they are formed by limited encounters with a certain type. One might agree with his assessment if every intelligent and professional woman they met acted in the way described. It's also not accurate to say 'most' men or women. I know a lot of men that would agree with his view. I also know a lot of men that would disagree. Some men, not necessarily 'submissive' men, are very attracted to powerful and accomplished women. I find confidence and intelligence very sexy in both women and men. And not because 'Iamsubmissive'...but even though I find that sexy in a woman, I wouldnt be attracted to her sexually. I would want a woman that is soft and sweet, gentle, confident but not controlling or in-charge. I like the opposite in a man. But I wouldn't say women should be one way and men another. For every 'type' out there, there are plenty of people who like exactly that.

curvyjae said:

I believe your observation is very accurate.

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I agree with you...and furthermore, personally I think there are not many things sexier than an intelligent, successful, charming woman. Too often women become too much like men as they rise in an organization. The treat is that intelligent woman that maintains her sexuality while becoming more successful or even powerful. These women truly tend to have men...well by the balls (if that's what they want!) lol

thinkingofyou3000 said:

I agree with you...and furthermore, personally I think there are not many things sexier than an intelligent, successful, charming woman. Too often women become too much like men as they rise in an organization. The treat is that intelligent woman that maintains her sexuality while becoming more successful or even powerful. These women truly tend to have men...well by the balls (if that's what they want!) lol

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Just out of interests sake ... what does it mean if a woman is 'like a man'?

thinkingofyou3000 said:

I agree with you...and furthermore, personally I think there are not many things sexier than an intelligent, successful, charming woman. Too often women become too much like men as they rise in an organization. The treat is that intelligent woman that maintains her sexuality while becoming more successful or even powerful. These women truly tend to have men...well by the balls (if that's what they want!) lol

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KimGordon67 said:

Just out of interests sake ... what does it mean if a woman is 'like a man'?

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Yeah .. wtf?

Can't a woman be like a woman INSTEAD of like a man and STILL kick ass in her own way?

(give us a chance to screw up as bad as you guys!)

powerful women

Maybe this is a little unrelated but maybe not. My sister is a powerful corporate trial lawyer and very well paid. So much so that her husband stays at home as a stay at home dad though he does do some work in sales from the house. She is totally put together and and had a kind power about her. Still she likes to let go and feel the control slip away. That happens usually sexually. Her husband is a nice smart guy with a great body and spends a lot of time at the gym and plays basketball daily with gym friends. He would sometimes bring one home and there would be interaction with my sister. Things like her cooking for them even though she spend the day in court. In time it became sexual as you might think and her husband along with taking care of their child and taking care of the house would also find new partners for threesums where she would service them both, totally letting go. I'd say there was a line you could draw between her work stress level and her letting men control her body.

Sizzling Hot Situation

jenna9191 said:

Maybe this is a little unrelated but maybe not. My sister is a powerful corporate trial lawyer and very well paid. So much so that her husband stays at home as a stay at home dad though he does do some work in sales from the house. She is totally put together and and had a kind power about her. Still she likes to let go and feel the control slip away. That happens usually sexually. Her husband is a nice smart guy with a great body and spends a lot of time at the gym and plays basketball daily with gym friends. He would sometimes bring one home and there would be interaction with my sister. Things like her cooking for them even though she spend the day in court. In time it became sexual as you might think and her husband along with taking care of their child and taking care of the house would also find new partners for threesums where she would service them both, totally letting go. I'd say there was a line you could draw between her work stress level and her letting men control her body.

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Your brother-in-law is very astute and clearly understands your sister's sexual needs. You clearly stated that need..."stepping away from work stress level and letting men control her body".

He is very understanding and loving to provide "outlets" for this very real need of hers. I suspect he may derive great sexual gratification from watching his powerful accomplished wife give her body to another man that he has chosen for her.

Your post is not only related, but sizzling hot!

I'll admit it.

I'm aggressive and confident in the boardroom.

I'm submissive and slutty in the bedroom.