Bisexuality Help

BBB771

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Joined
Jun 21, 2016
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4
Hello, fellow readers and writers. The is BBB771 (stands for Big Brown Bear). I'm new to Literotica and figured that someone can give me some clarity of having bisexual feelings. I've always tried to stay focused on talking to women ever since high school. Every once in a while, my mind would drift off to imagining myself having sex with another man. Even when I masturbated I would think about getting it from behind when I fingered my asshole.
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman, and I love her very much. I thought about taking my bisexual feelings to the grave with me or should I let her know about those feelings for men as long as I don't act on them. My "gay feelings" came out more when I started writing more often. I felt that I wanted to get some of the pent up feelings out of my system, so I started writing some stuff about having relations with men. If you want, you can read my story, "The Secret Life of Chub" under the Gay Male section. Any wisdom on this matter will be much appreciated. Please, I don't want any bashing. Thanks.
 
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Hello, fellow readers and writers. The is BBB771 (stands for Big Brown Bear). I'm new to Literotica and figured that someone can give me some clarity of having bisexual feelings. I've always tried to stay focused on talking to women ever since high school. Every once in a while, my mind would drift off to imagining myself having sex with another man. Even when I masturbated I would think about getting it from behind when I fingered my asshole.
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman, and I love her very much. I thought about taking my bisexual feelings to the grave with me or should I let her know about those feelings for men as long as I don't act on them. My "gay feelings" came out more when I started writing more often. I felt that I wanted to get some of the pent up feelings out of my system, so I started writing some stuff about having relations with men. If you want, you can read my story, "The Secret Life of Chub" under the Gay Male section. Any wisdom on this matter will be much appreciated. Please, I don't want any bashing. Thanks.

Welcome to Lit. Being still closeted to my wife and friends, my first bit of advice would be to tell your GF about your "gay feelings" if you think there's even a remote possiblity that she can be open to it. The sooner you clear the air, the easier it will be for you to move forward (or not) on your true feelings. She might even like the idea that you are bi. My biggest regret is that I did not reveal my bi side to those I loved before getting married.
 
Same Boat

I am in a similar place. I finally told my wife about my bi- curious dreams after 32 years of marriage. My wife was understanding of my desires but not ready let me suck my first adult cock. She does finger fuck my mouth as a treat. I love it but it also seems to turn her on. She has always loved me to cum on her tits but now she has me lick up my cum up - lick her clean she says. If we fuck and hasn't cum she really gets off on me eating the cream pie. Looking forward to more evolution in the activities.
 
Welcome to Lit and no one is going to give you hard time about being bi :rose:

I think the problem for a lot of women ( not necessarily Lit women ) is that if a guy brings up the subject then all sorts of alarms start ringing
"OMG, you're really gay ( so you don't love me )"
"Does this mean you're unfaithful?"
"Well I'm a girl so what can I do to help - I'm not up for a threesome"
"Do you have AIDS?" :rolleyes:
...there's a lot of negative baggage people carry around with them, because of all the social stigma: they feel threatened by that. Not many people even allow themselves to question their own sexuality, let alone talk about it. Well, that's their loss, but you still have to think how to deal with this with your gf. You're the one who knows her - is she open-minded about other things in her life - politics, humor, fashion sense?
Why not raise the subject during some pillow talk - what was her first sexual experience or feeling? What about crushes? Those might give you a better idea about her attitude but that doesn't mean she won't go ballistic when you start admitting to stuff. I'm sorry - it's not fair...
If she's a younger woman, she might have babies on her mind so her agenda might not square with playing around *shrug* There is no golden rule and I'd guess for non-Lit people, 80% will be turned off by the idea. Hopefully you'll get lucky though. :)
 
Being bi

I did not start wanting sex with guys until I was about 60. After resisting for several years I knew I had to try it. Before I did I came out to my wife. She accepted my bisexuality and gave me the OK to try it. Once I did she was OK with me being with guys. Sex between us improved as we booth became willing to explore our sexuality.)

However, I question whether or not the results would have been same if we had not been together for so many years. I am glad I came out to her, but I am not suggesting it for everybody



.
 
I did not start wanting sex with guys until I was about 60. After resisting for several years I knew I had to try it. Before I did I came out to my wife. She accepted my bisexuality and gave me the OK to try it. Once I did she was OK with me being with guys. Sex between us improved as we booth became willing to explore our sexuality.)

However, I question whether or not the results would have been same if we had not been together for so many years. I am glad I came out to her, but I am not suggesting it for everybody



.

Great move you did right there! But true, not every wives would have the same acceptance as yours.
 
Really thanks. :)

Thanks all you guys. Although, I am afraid of telling my girlfriend about my feelings. I don't think she will be acceptable of my feelings and would want to leave me. When I see other gay guys in my area, I'm not usually attracted to the ones that act feminine, but I wouldn't mind some play time if I decided to go that route whole heartedly.
I would like to try anal, but I would like my partner to be very gentle with my ass, since I've never had a dick in it before. I picture myself getting fucked from the side on a bed, while I'm jacking myself off. I think that looks so hot. I found myself being attracted to people lighter than me, particularly Whites, Latinos, and light skinned Black men. Sometimes I wish that I can suck a good dick just once in my life. When I was more flexible in my younger years. I've tried to suck my dick twice. Sadly, I was only able to suck the tip of my dick until my stomach got tired.
 
Hello, fellow readers and writers. The is BBB771 (stands for Big Brown Bear). I'm new to Literotica and figured that someone can give me some clarity of having bisexual feelings. I've always tried to stay focused on talking to women ever since high school. Every once in a while, my mind would drift off to imagining myself having sex with another man. Even when I masturbated I would think about getting it from behind when I fingered my asshole.
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman, and I love her very much. I thought about taking my bisexual feelings to the grave with me or should I let her know about those feelings for men as long as I don't act on them. My "gay feelings" came out more when I started writing more often. I felt that I wanted to get some of the pent up feelings out of my system, so I started writing some stuff about having relations with men. If you want, you can read my story, "The Secret Life of Chub" under the Gay Male section. Any wisdom on this matter will be much appreciated. Please, I don't want any bashing. Thanks.

it is normal for you to harbour these fantasies, a lot of men do and they may be just that but if you are in love with this lady then it may not be for you,and there are other considerations ,would you tell her,would you act on them, what if she found out and it ruined your relationship, ,how would you feel then?
you might want to introduce toys into your lovemaking and see how she reacts to that first ,perhaps adding a strap-on to see how you both feel about things ,there is no easy answer to your question as we are all different but i hope you find the answer .
 
Thanks for the input. However, I felt like ending our relationship, due to other reasons. I have thought about finding someone else due to the other matter I'm unsatisfied with in our relationship. If we do break up, I don't know if I'll try to date a man or stick with a woman. I haven't met a gay man that I just loved. Maybe I'll meet that person someday. It may not be for love but maybe a close friendship.
 
Thanks for the input. However, I felt like ending our relationship, due to other reasons. I have thought about finding someone else due to the other matter I'm unsatisfied with in our relationship. If we do break up, I don't know if I'll try to date a man or stick with a woman. I haven't met a gay man that I just loved. Maybe I'll meet that person someday. It may not be for love but maybe a close friendship.

You know the way you talk, I am going to suggest an answer. A massage session with a gay. Pay him. Get one that hints of "happy endings."

Then during the session let it degrade into a cock sucking session and do him.
 
"OMG, you're really gay ( so you don't love me )"
"Does this mean you're unfaithful?"
"Well I'm a girl so what can I do to help - I'm not up for a threesome"
"Do you have AIDS?" :rolleyes:
A lot of people have problems with bisexuality (particularly the "you're twice as likely to be unfaithful" thing), so you'll need to get an idea of how your girlfriend thinks about it. From what you've said, I gather she wouldn't be on board with you exploring (or even having) these feelings. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself if this is important enough to you that you can go the rest of your life without at least trying it out. It looks like the two of you have other issues as well, so this is something more added to the pile. You might consider taking a break from the relationship, or discreetly exploring some 'minimal-contact' experiences (jerk-off groups, gay massage without oral/anal, webcamming) on the side. Also, just because you have an interest in sex with men doesn't necessarily mean you want a relationship with one - you can be bisexual and heteroromantic.
 
Also, just because you have an interest in sex with men doesn't necessarily mean you want a relationship with one - you can be bisexual and heteroromantic.

I just learned this term a few weeks ago. My emotional connection is completely different than my sexual connection.

Good luck BBB771
 
Welcome to Lit and no one is going to give you hard time about being bi :rose:

I think the problem for a lot of women ( not necessarily Lit women ) is that if a guy brings up the subject then all sorts of alarms start ringing
"OMG, you're really gay ( so you don't love me )"
"Does this mean you're unfaithful?"
"Well I'm a girl so what can I do to help - I'm not up for a threesome"
"Do you have AIDS?" :rolleyes:
...there's a lot of negative baggage people carry around with them, because of all the social stigma: they feel threatened by that. Not many people even allow themselves to question their own sexuality, let alone talk about it. Well, that's their loss, but you still have to think how to deal with this with your gf. You're the one who knows her - is she open-minded about other things in her life - politics, humor, fashion sense?
Why not raise the subject during some pillow talk - what was her first sexual experience or feeling? What about crushes? Those might give you a better idea about her attitude but that doesn't mean she won't go ballistic when you start admitting to stuff. I'm sorry - it's not fair...
If she's a younger woman, she might have babies on her mind so her agenda might not square with playing around *shrug* There is no golden rule and I'd guess for non-Lit people, 80% will be turned off by the idea. Hopefully you'll get lucky though. :)

So much truth said, but also that we have an image built in on what our men should be like. So it's hard to readjust our focus on exactly who he is. Strange that i can kiss a girlfriend and nothing is thought of it, but he should never kiss one of his friends. Sorry this is of no help for you - until you know what is what maybe keep it to yourself.
 
Hello, fellow readers and writers. The is BBB771 (stands for Big Brown Bear). I'm new to Literotica and figured that someone can give me some clarity of having bisexual feelings. I've always tried to stay focused on talking to women ever since high school. Every once in a while, my mind would drift off to imagining myself having sex with another man. Even when I masturbated I would think about getting it from behind when I fingered my asshole.
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman, and I love her very much. I thought about taking my bisexual feelings to the grave with me or should I let her know about those feelings for men as long as I don't act on them. My "gay feelings" came out more when I started writing more often. I felt that I wanted to get some of the pent up feelings out of my system, so I started writing some stuff about having relations with men. If you want, you can read my story, "The Secret Life of Chub" under the Gay Male section. Any wisdom on this matter will be much appreciated. Please, I don't want any bashing. Thanks.

Get rid of your woman and get yourself a man
 
I will ask a question, are you bisexual?
The reason is sex is one thing and a full relationship is another.
My understanding is bisexual is just that, you have sex with both sexes.
You can have sex with more than one woman without loving them both why not be able to have sex with a woman and a man without loving them both.

This is my understanding of bisexual. I love a woman but have had sex with men and consider myself bisexual. Actually it was her that first arranged my encounter with men and I only have sex with men of her choosing.

You could start of by asking her if she has ever thought of having sex with another woman and see where that leads.
 
A lot of people have problems with bisexuality (particularly the "you're twice as likely to be unfaithful" thing), so you'll need to get an idea of how your girlfriend thinks about it. From what you've said, I gather she wouldn't be on board with you exploring (or even having) these feelings. Ultimately, you have to ask yourself if this is important enough to you that you can go the rest of your life without at least trying it out. It looks like the two of you have other issues as well, so this is something more added to the pile. You might consider taking a break from the relationship, or discreetly exploring some 'minimal-contact' experiences (jerk-off groups, gay massage without oral/anal, webcamming) on the side. Also, just because you have an interest in sex with men doesn't necessarily mean you want a relationship with one - you can be bisexual and heteroromantic.

Nice comments....
 
Welcome to Lit and no one is going to give you hard time about being bi :rose:

I think the problem for a lot of women ( not necessarily Lit women ) is that if a guy brings up the subject then all sorts of alarms start ringing
"OMG, you're really gay ( so you don't love me )"
"Does this mean you're unfaithful?"
"Well I'm a girl so what can I do to help - I'm not up for a threesome"
"Do you have AIDS?" :rolleyes:
...there's a lot of negative baggage people carry around with them, because of all the social stigma: they feel threatened by that. Not many people even allow themselves to question their own sexuality, let alone talk about it. Well, that's their loss, but you still have to think how to deal with this with your gf. You're the one who knows her - is she open-minded about other things in her life - politics, humor, fashion sense?
Why not raise the subject during some pillow talk - what was her first sexual experience or feeling? What about crushes? Those might give you a better idea about her attitude but that doesn't mean she won't go ballistic when you start admitting to stuff. I'm sorry - it's not fair...
If she's a younger woman, she might have babies on her mind so her agenda might not square with playing around *shrug* There is no golden rule and I'd guess for non-Lit people, 80% will be turned off by the idea. Hopefully you'll get lucky though. :)

I think StickyGirl offered you some good advice. If you think this relationship is going to last, it's better to bring it up sooner rather than later
 
Hard to give advise without knowing either of you, but from my limited experience, I would suggest broaching the subject gently. Try asking her if she has ever had any bi thoughts. Open the conversation in such a way so as to invite her to question you as well. Ask her to share her hidden fantasies. Let her know she can share anything with you. And tell her you want to be able to share everything with her. Start out slow. Keeping them as fantasies. As you develope your relationship further maybe you can begin experimenting. Would she be willing to wear a strap on? Start by sucking 'her' cock. Ask her to fuck you. Let it progress and develope mutually. I think if you just 'drop the bomb' it may be too shocking and a bit overwhelming. Especially if she has never had any bi fantasies before. I do think honesty is the best approach. But sometimes being too honest can cause more harm than good.
 
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You're getting to wrapped up in the B.S. Pop-psychology, and everybody is sexuality know-it-all... That's what they said on CNN....

you'll isolate yourself. If you're have such an issue. Tell your lady friend. You'll fuck it all up if you hide it away. Communication baby. If you tell her and she dumps you, at least you didn't get caught with a dick in your mouth. remember this. You are not a victim.

move past the understanding crap....once you accept you like looking at cocks and watching gay and bi porn. You'll put your feet up and actually notice, 'that's forest, NOT just trees.....
 
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