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Masturbation Denial

CutieMouse said:
I am not a fan of masturbation denial/ orgasm denial. IMO, far to many dominants choose this method of control because it's easy (for them).

The theory/ reason behind masturbation/ orgasm denial is that it somehow turns a woman into a hyper-sexed, cum-on-command, nymphomaniac. I mean, gosh, take away a woman's ability to climax of COURSE all she'll think about is sex! And if all she thinks about is sex, of COURSE it's turn her into a raging sex pot, [that will do anything her dominant wants].

:rolleyes:

What doesn't get talked about very often, is that this whole "ZOMG denial = hawtness" doesn't always happen. Sometimes [raises hand], the person being denied simply diverts all that sexual energy elsewhere. And sometimes [raises hand], if the "denial" goes on for long enough, it screws up ones ability to masturbate/ orgasm, period.

Soooo... my personal opinion, is that masturbation and/ or orgasm denial should be approached as "edge play", with everyone involved both knowing it might not turn out the way they think it will, with a plan for what to do if it doesn't.
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Agreed.

If denied I end up so disinterested in any erotic aspects the relationship ends anyway.

I agree with cutie, it is easy (or in my view lazy) Domination and requires no effort on their part.
I also agree with Susanne, although rather than telling him to fuck off I would ask about his reasons and motivation for wanting me to do this, what is the point and what can be gained from it. It is likely that I would then realise he is not right for me, and wander off.
 
Personally, I love orgasm denial in moderation. I could probably not be induced into going two weeks, though... I am curious why that time frame was chosen? Going from 3 times a day to nothing for 2 weeks, or skipping 42 "regularly scheduled" orgasms seems pretty extreme. You would not start marathon training by running the entire distance the first session... seems to me like this is something that might be worked up to.
Then again, I did quit smoking cold turkey, so I get that concept, too. Just seems a bit extreme to me for a first dance, is all
 
Collar_N_Cuffs said:
Personally, I love orgasm denial in moderation. I could probably not be induced into going two weeks, though... I am curious why that time frame was chosen? Going from 3 times a day to nothing for 2 weeks, or skipping 42 "regularly scheduled" orgasms seems pretty extreme. You would not start marathon training by running the entire distance the first session... seems to me like this is something that might be worked up to.
Then again, I did quit smoking cold turkey, so I get that concept, too. Just seems a bit extreme to me for a first dance, is all
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Thanks, Collar. The 2 weeks was something that he had in the rules. Also, I am on vacation this week and he knew that this is always a hard time, as I would've just had orgasms from touching more than 3 times a day, and I would get back into my old habits. I don't question the punishment, as he knows what's best. I am feeling invigorated, more focused, and looking forward to being be allowed in 5 days to release. It's also a way of developing my self discipline.
 
Takenbyyou30 said:
I know, this is my first time in a chastity situation. I have never gone more than a day or so, on my own. He is guiding me, and teaching me, as I was giving away my orgasms way to easily, to people that didn't care about me.

Do you have a Dom?
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Yes I've been with my dom for 9 months and I'm happily in love.
I never used to go more than a day or so either so I know exactly what you're feeling!
Hey you should check out my story.. it's all true and I think it's relevant for you. Its under BDSM called Fifty three xx
 
Takenbyyou30 said:
The 2 weeks was something that he had in the rules.
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That doesn't answer the question why, though. What was so special about 2 weeks, that "the rules" said to avoid self-pleasure for two weeks? What specifically made a two week rule make sense for you, specifically? Or does this person make every new partner avoid masturbation for two weeks, claiming it will lead to focused enlightenment, just because he's the dominant and that's that?
 
bdsmchick94 said:
Yes I've been with my dom for 9 months and I'm happily in love.
I never used to go more than a day or so either so I know exactly what you're feeling!
Hey you should check out my story.. it's all true and I think it's relevant for you. Its under BDSM called Fifty three xx
Click to expand...

CutieMouse said:
That doesn't answer the question why, though. What was so special about 2 weeks, that "the rules" said to avoid self-pleasure for two weeks? What specifically made a two week rule make sense for you, specifically? Or does this person make every new partner avoid masturbation for two weeks, claiming it will lead to focused enlightenment, just because he's the dominant and that's that?
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It was the first time that touched myself and orgasmed without his permission and in the agreement 2 weeks was for the first time. And the longest I went was 1 week on my own. So wanted to up the ante.
 
Speaking for myself, I've had some pretty unproductive days. I spent most days off from work "procrastorbating.":rolleyes: I'd be amazed with myself if I could go a few days without masturbation. My point, 3 times a day might have been a coping mechanism or a way to pass the time. Either way, if OP is happy with this arrangement and it's not hurting anything, why not?

I like a good personal challenge. Also, lots of men enjoy wearing devices for chastity so I don't really feel like this is some attack on women.
 
MeekMe said:
Speaking for myself, I've had some pretty unproductive days. I spent most days off from work "procrastorbating.":rolleyes: I'd be amazed with myself if I could go a few days without masturbation. My point, 3 times a day might have been a coping mechanism or a way to pass the time. Either way, if OP is happy with this arrangement and it's not hurting anything, why not?

I like a good personal challenge. Also, lots of men enjoy wearing devices for chastity so I don't really feel like this is some attack on women.
Click to expand...

I've done that also, no longer. Yes I would masturbate when I was sad, upset, and most of all bored. So it has been eye opening not to have the ability to do it, and not be able to do it as I please. It's freeing actually.
 
Perfect post for today! I just got to cum this morning after a ban of 2 weeks. It was torture, as I'm generally a once-a-day girl.
He has his reasons. One is that I had told him that it's VERY hard for me to cum with a partner but very quick and easy to do myself. He says I'm too accustomed to my own touch, and this makes sense. My body has become SO particular about being touched exactly this way, at this speed, with this pressure. Normally, even if I touch myself while being fucked, it will still take me a long time to cum (because for heaven's sake, there's a penis "in the way") OR worse, I can't cum at all. However . . . this morning I stimulated my clit for maybe 3 minutes, DURING sex, and came hard and fast! So, perhaps my body can be re-trained.
It helps me to know that I am conditioning myself by not breaking the rule. Yes, I get horny as hell and so very tempted. But knowing it pleases him that I'm obeying and that I would feel bad if I didn't . . . makes it less torturous. Just don't read stories on Lit!!
 
elocin13 said:
Perfect post for today! I just got to cum this morning after a ban of 2 weeks. It was torture, as I'm generally a once-a-day girl.
He has his reasons. One is that I had told him that it's VERY hard for me to cum with a partner but very quick and easy to do myself. He says I'm too accustomed to my own touch, and this makes sense. My body has become SO particular about being touched exactly this way, at this speed, with this pressure. Normally, even if I touch myself while being fucked, it will still take me a long time to cum (because for heaven's sake, there's a penis "in the way") OR worse, I can't cum at all. However . . . this morning I stimulated my clit for maybe 3 minutes, DURING sex, and came hard and fast! So, perhaps my body can be re-trained.
It helps me to know that I am conditioning myself by not breaking the rule. Yes, I get horny as hell and so very tempted. But knowing it pleases him that I'm obeying and that I would feel bad if I didn't . . . makes it less torturous. Just don't read stories on Lit!!
Click to expand...

It's exactly the feeling I was told to look forward too when I am able to cum. There's hope, and only 4 days to go!!
 
CutieMouse said:
I am not a fan of masturbation denial/ orgasm denial. IMO, far to many dominants choose this method of control because it's easy (for them).

The theory/ reason behind masturbation/ orgasm denial is that it somehow turns a woman into a hyper-sexed, cum-on-command, nymphomaniac. I mean, gosh, take away a woman's ability to climax of COURSE all she'll think about is sex! And if all she thinks about is sex, of COURSE it's turn her into a raging sex pot, [that will do anything her dominant wants].

:rolleyes:

What doesn't get talked about very often, is that this whole "ZOMG denial = hawtness" doesn't always happen. Sometimes [raises hand], the person being denied simply diverts all that sexual energy elsewhere. And sometimes [raises hand], if the "denial" goes on for long enough, it screws up ones ability to masturbate/ orgasm, period.

Soooo... my personal opinion, is that masturbation and/ or orgasm denial should be approached as "edge play", with everyone involved both knowing it might not turn out the way they think it will, with a plan for what to do if it doesn't.
Click to expand...

In playing/training with Dom's I have also found edging to be MUCH more effective than orgasm denial. (thinks fondly of a certain someone...):kiss::cattail:
 
A day or two of denial is play/light discipline - longer than that is just punishment, in my opinion.
 
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. I'm no less of a woman because Sir has control of my orgasms. I want to give him that control, that is part of my gift of submission to him. He is far from inadequate or insecure and he is very generous with giving me orgasms. Just keep in mind that there are many different relationships and depths of submission in this world.

During one point early in our relationship he had denied me for quite a while, then he gave me permission to do as I pleased. I begged him not to give me that freedom. I want and need his control and he is very wise and judicious with it.
 
Man, that depends so heavily on the sub in question. Anyone who did that (or *cough* tried to; it would show a certain lack of attention to who I am that would be indicative of bigger problems, imo) to me would very quickly earn my resentment -- my libido is way too high for that to be anything but vindictiveness or cruelty towards me. But, y'know, everyone is different. I suppose what would only take a day or two for one person might take a couple weeks for another.

But not getting orgasms, for me, does not clear my mind. If anything it makes me cranky and keeps me from being able to focus on much else -- which is detrimental to the rest of my life (making mistakes at work is so not an option). It's one thing to be teased to the point of distraction, but another entirely to be left hanging. (oof, just thinking about it irritates me -- prior relationship issues make this a hot button for me, I think)
 
MeekMe said:
Speaking for myself, I've had some pretty unproductive days. I spent most days off from work "procrastorbating.":rolleyes: I'd be amazed with myself if I could go a few days without masturbation.


How many days have I spent bed or chair or seat ridden, jacking off over and over knowing I had other thins to do but knowing they can be put off for this for what is important, like masturbating. I like your term "procrastoration". Many thumbs up to you. :rose:
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MeekMe said:
... I have heard of people replacing sex/masturbation with exercise. Seems somewhat healthy and it will get endorphins going. Plus it'll be a nice activity to get your mind off of it.
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Just the other day I was thinking that I need a Mistress who would "whip me into shape" so to speak ;) by giving me a compelling reason to get back to my regular exercise program. A little pain of various sorts would be good, but sex/masturbation denial is cruel and unusual punishment that would be difficult to tolerate. It's the antithesis of the whole "fun and play" part of BDSM isn't it?
 
We used to tease my friend's brother by not letting

him even masturbate while we were showing off in front of him or whatever. I'm sure he took care of himself as soon as he left us.
 
Takenbyyou30 said:
I am currently a sub in training. I am being denied from touching myself, and have not had an orgasm in 8 days. Has any other sub had this experience? And if so, how did you cope?
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Initially I coped by redirecting my thoughts and needs to other, very different things. Kind of like quitting smoking. :rolleyes: Now, I just obey. I get insanely horny at times, and tell Master, but it's always his choice whether to indulge me or not. At one point several months ago I was in a very mentally rough place. I tried to masturbate just for comfort and a little bit of "light" and discovered that I couldn't! I mean, I could obviously touch myself, but the arousal just never went past 'pleasant'. I simply couldn't do it without his permission and knowledge. He was amused when I told him.

The only thing that bothers me is, long term, where would that leave me? It's scary how much and how deeply he rules me, even if he doesn't realize it.
 
susanne1987 said:
I can't think of anyone that i would stop mastubating for, its part of my morning ritual, just as toast and cornflakes are xxx
Click to expand...

I hope you're serious because this is exactly why I joined. I thought I was the only one, like it's really intense.
 
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