fire_breeze
Softly Seductive
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2007
- Posts
- 47,703
With all due respect, I think you're misinterpreting NightL's very wise words, ignoring the heart of the matter. And what I am about to say is not meant to discourage you, but rather engage in conversation, and perhaps provoke some thoughts. I will warn you that I am quite exhausted and this will ramble a little. Suck it up, PrincessNightL, once again, thanks for your comments. I was pleasantly surprised to see you replied again!! In all honesty, I didn't expect that you would!!
Okay, let me concede - yes, perhaps my fantasies seem pornographic rather than being "artistically" erotic. Maybe I’ve been aiming for all this time was pornography rather than erotica. That having been said, some of my stories do contain “emotion”.
But I think porn can still be tasteful - and that's what I'm aiming for.
Going through some of my own earlier posts, yes I’d have to agree, some of it is embarrassing and makes me cringe. I’d edit it if I had the time. I’m sorry if people found any of it offensive.
In any case, as I’ve said already, these are my fantasies – they’re mine and they are fantasies. Just because the female protagonists in one or two of my stories happen to be diffident, shy and nervous during their first times – with strangers in each case – doesn’t mean that I actually believe or expect that all women everywhere in the world behave like that in real life.
Demureness in a young woman turns me on. You may find it bizarre, but it is one of my “things”. I’m not sure I can explain it in any detail. Equally, in some of my stories/fantasies, the female protagonists are quite sexually confident, assertive, adventurous, even aggressive – not remotely “demure”. For now though, I’m focusing on my fantasies about a sexually innocent/naïve young woman. Later on, I hope to get around to stories with different themes, and different protagonists.
No, not quite; but I’m not going to argue the point any further right here.
I realize that expecting my female friends, acquaintances, and colleagues to find my stories arousing is ridiculously simplistic. But then again, maybe some of them might actually enjoy my stories? Many women do enjoy the simple pleasures of porn, right?
My fantasies would be boring if they were completely true-to-life. The whole point of my fantasies is to create a world that I wish I could live in and explore. And I have many different fantasy worlds. Just because I’ve discussed only a few of my fantasies in this forum doesn’t mean that that’s all I think there is to the actual world around me. And it doesn’t mean that those are the only fantasies I have. Those of us who enjoy watching Hollywood action films do not necessarily believe that the world is constantly under threat from sinister global crime syndicates or deranged megalomaniacal super-villains who can threaten whole governments and then end up being thwarted by single-handed heroes who happen to be astonishingly resourceful. Fantasies are just fantasies. There is no moral obligation for fantasy stories to closely match reality.
All things considered, I guess I can’t complain too much if people think my writing is boring/unsophisticated, etc., just as long as people don’t find it revolting, sickening, or offensive in any way.
And I’d like to know what you thought of the story I mentioned earlier – did you think it was erotic or pornographic? That story is a reasonable representation of the tone I’m aiming for. That story is about a young woman who ends up seduced by a stranger. Incidentally, the young woman in the story does NOT have feelings of shyness.
While I would love to go out there and meet a new woman and start a new relationship, and do all of the things you suggest, etc. at this point in my life, I simply do not have that luxury. If I did, I probably wouldn't be spending my time here on an online discussion forum. I can’t really explain any further, so I’ll leave it just there.
And – to ANYONE that may be interested, like I said, I acknowledge that my story ideas may seem very unsophisticated, but if you can take the time, you may be able to help me improve my writing/stories. If you would like to read through my stories, and if you see any elements that you like, and you think you can suggest changes to the story ideas, I’d welcome it.
.No one arguing the right to your fantasies. We all have them. As I have said a number of times, it's your fantasies, your carnival, play with it.
What we are (or at least, I am) trying to point out is that your perception of women in the flesh - real, breathing, feeling women - is slightly skewed, leaning more to your fantasies as opposed to how women and relationships are. The characters and scenarios are exceedingly one-dimensional and from the descriptions you present to us, indicate that on some level, this is how you perceive women should be. You seem to have built up a fantasy scenario that seems to have no basis in reality, and from I can gather, there is a belief on your part that the scenarios reflect reality. You yourself have said that you are a young, naive man with a sexually hungry mind - and that is fine - but you do not seem to realise that a) young ladies, no matter how virginal, also have sexual hungry minds and b) you seem, and I apologise for the harshness, to dismiss the advice of those who are trying to feed your hungry mind.
You are romanticising sex to a single dimension, which is what NightL is pointing out. And while you say you know that, I am not sure - again, from your writings - that you actually accept that. I suggest that you do stick on this forum, though. There are real people who are talking about real sex and real relationships.
I realise that we are only getting a small sliver of who you are - after all, we can only go with what you give us. However, I must point out that much can be inferred by the way you write, as writing does offer a glimpse into your subconscious and who you truly are. NightL, for example, is exceptional at picking up nuances that you may not even noticed that you have written.
Maybe virginal and demure is your fetish, and that's fine. However, as I have said before, and I wish to reiterate, much of what you have written indicates that you place women and relationship in the realm of the unattainable that when you do decide to explore, you will be disappointed that it will not match up to your expectations. Essentially, you are idealising women, and in a way, fetishising the perfect woman. I hate to break it, but they do not exist. The scenarios you have painted will very unlikely exist.
That's what I said in one of my posts: it's the fact that you seem (and again, I can only go by your posts, which I will admit I have read almost every single one of them before composing my responses on this particular thread) take your fantasies and imposing them into reality. I am truly, deeply concerned that your perceptions of women is rooted in your fantasies so that when you do get into a intimate relationship with a woman (and no, I do not necessarily mean sexual, I mean intimate), then you will not be able to relate to her because you have this unwavering image of how women should be.
Women are incredibly complex creatures. They can present a demure in public and a sexual curiosity in the bedroom. Many of your posts indicate a belief that demure, religious upbringing woman would be shy in bed for the first time (or all the time?) and that it would take a pornographic stud in order to make her a raving nympho. Or worst, that she is completely unaware of the passions of sex and that it will take a man to awaken that from her. Your female characters seem to have very little agency.
If, on the other hand, you actively know, understand and accept that women are complex creatures, and chose to focus on the demure, inexperienced, then that will be reflected in your writings. It will show that you are talking about a fantasy as opposed to seemingly unconsciously expecting the reality be mirrored in the fantasy. There is a stark difference between fantasy and reality, and sometimes (and this is my concern) you may blur the lines between the two and expect your fantasy to be reality. If you actually truly realise that the fantasy world cannot be translated into reality, then that will be reflected in your writings; however, I am not sure if your inner most sub-conscious actually understands and accepts the truth.
I've said it many times, but I do not know if you actually heeded this advice: if you want to know how women feel/experience sex, read erotica written by women. What we write offers a glimpse into our minds and our experiences and our fantasies. It's an excellent way to truly discern the complexities of women.
Look, writing offers us a safe avenue to explore. Some of those avenues can very well happen (or did). That is not the point. The point is that those who write super-hero stories, or vigilante stories or erotica know - and accepts - the difference between the fantastic and the reality and this is reflected in their writings. They do not expect Wolverine to come and save the day, just as you should not expect a demure, shy girl to be complete enraptured by the sheer sensuality of Casanova as he seduces her to his passions (despite of her religious upbringing). Write about it, but accept that it IS fantasy. Additionally, all good fantasy stories carry basic, human, very real themes: the basic good-againt-bad, justice, or even intimacy. Yes, stories are fantasies, but they carry a core of reality.
Write the Lothario fantasies if you want, but truly accept that this is not an accurate depiction of women - or of relationships in general. For that to , you have to truly, sincerely accept that women and men and relationships are living, changing organisms. That underneath the sensual seductions lies heartaches, bouts of doubt, and misunderstandings.
That said, you claim that your erotic fantasies would be boring if they were true to life. I beg to differ. Some of my highest-scored stories that I have published here are based on true-to-life fantasies. See, true-to-life fantasies are easier to imagine - and it's easier to picture myself in the role. I can more readily relate to the characters and it's easier to be engaged. 'Dream House' for example was written by someone who truly accepts the difference between fantasy and reality. While this is really not my type of story, I was nonetheless engaged in the writer's fantasy because of the nuances of reality that she wove in. That is missing from your blurbs and character descriptions: nuances that understands reality.
I challenge you to a writing exercise: write a true-to-life short story. For example, there are so little stories about young men losing their virginity that there could be very well a niche market for it. It's almost always the woman, and those written by men tend to be warped in reality (the whole feeling-the barrier-about-2-inches-in-the-sharp-rip-and-the-exquisite-orgasm-and-the-gushing-blood-like-a-chicken-has-been-slaughtered. Talk about kinky, the whole chicken was used). What about the men? How about writing about the mutual explorations of sex by two virgins? Again, you seem to be trying to write for a public as opposed to writing for yourself. So write about some 'true-to-life-fantasies.
I dare you.
*again, this is meant to encourage you to think, ask questions, and to learn - and I'll say it bluntly, stop apologising.
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