There are all manner of strippers out there, and there are also all manner of unemployed people. I happened to come up with this idea, today:
Older fat guy with a high-stress corporate job has a medical scare that puts him in the hospital Emergency room for a day, and a week in the hospital before they can get his blood pressure to stabilize. He's put off work by his doctor for a month to get started losing weight and exercising. He's married, and his wife has tried talking him into exercising before, but now hounds him such that he's not allowed to start a day without exercise first, and he isn't allowed to take a bite of food that has not been photographed into his phone, first.
He's too honest to lie to her, so he does start losing weight. Just as he's getting ready to go back to work, though, he finds he's been forced into retirement. He happens to talk to his wife and one of their female friends (a circle of 50+ folks for friends) just after that female friend had attended a hen party that included strippers. While he hears this, he remembers the gang at work had gotten a comic stripper for their new VP. (He was 25 and fresh out of an MBA program, so they got him a 60-something stripper. He was a good sport and pretended it was all fun, but cracked the whip afterward and had the group all work extra that day to make up the time the stripper had done her act.) Maybe he could get laughs?
Severance package includes genuinely good medical insurance that lasts until he's eligible for Medicare, and is actually good enough to cover getting rid of the extra skin he doesn't need, thanks to the weight loss. The better shape he gets into, the more he can do on a daily basis, and the faster it comes off. When he finally gets back down to what the doc tells him is a healthy weight, the insurance actually pays for getting rid of the extra skin. (It did help that he listed his occupation as "male stripper"!) ;-)
A friend of a friend is a dance instructor, and he goes to her to help choreograph a stripper routine, and works up some stand-up to go with it. Despite all the weight loss and newly amorous wife, it just doesn't clue into his mind how good he now looks. The chorographer is having fun, though, and the more he works on dancing, the hotter she makes his routine.
When the dance instructor tells him she thinks he's ready, he hands out some cheap business cards as a comic stripper for parties. He sets a date to show off his routine for his wife and some of her friends, but the wife has a friend who is ill, and she travels to visit her friend, so that show gets canceled.
A dance student calls the instructor when the student has a party and decides she wants strippers. The old man is the only one she knows, so she gives over his information. When he gets the call, he can tell it is a younger woman, and he's excited, but not sexually, since he has no intentions of trying to get sex, and figures that younger women won't be interested in him. He puts on speedos as underwear, then skimpy shorts, then a G.I. uniform, as best as he could get from the military surplus store. (He already had a military-ish haircut)
He gets there and can hear the music already as he walks up. It reminds him to check and yes he still has his CD. When the owner opens the front door, he does his best impression of a salute and requests, "Permission to enter, Ma'am?", which does get a laugh and some catcalls. It turns out the ladies have already had a drink or two, and are very ready for some entertainment!
They re-arrange the living area with some chairs from the kitchen (regular, straight-backed, fairly comfy wooden chairs without arms), gets the CD set up and starts his routine, taking off combat boots and socks before dancing, then removing belt, hat, shirt, undershirt, going by each lady to straddle their chairs and have his chest close to their faces, being surprised that they start scratching his back and sucking on his chest. then he drops his pants and is a bit startled that women are holding out bills to stuff into his waistband. His penis unlimbers in his speedos...
As he's dancing his finale, the last woman takes out a $50, runs it in one leg of his shorts and out the other and says, "Mind if I pull these down?". He's flattered, and he knows he still has the speedos, so he says, "Go ahead." As she's doing this, he notices that during the act at some point, the ladies have shifted their chairs into more of a circle around him. He can tell, because hands are wandering just about everywhere on him as those skimpy shorts come down. He now has a semi, and the speedos seem strained a bit.
The music from the CD ends, and the owner happens to be sitting close enough to change the CD to one of her CD's. Naturally, it's Nine Inch Nails and "Closer". With a squeal of delight, the partiers come out of their chairs to dance up against him. The woman in front of him slides her arms around him, under his arms. He reaches back behind her to grab her *nice* butt. He is now getting an erection that is pushing the speedos away from his body when one of the women sees fit to start pulling them down. It's an effort the others join into before he can even take his hands off the butt of the woman in front of him.
He actually has enough time to think, "No big deal. It's not like they will try anything." before noticing she isn't wearing underwear under her skirt. He's not short (5' 9" tall) but he's got short legs, and he's noticing she isn't wearing underwear because his penis is now between her legs where it's *wet* already! As he gets ready to say something, she's already Frenching him before he can speak, and sliding herself onto his prick...
Someone please make that a story!
Older fat guy with a high-stress corporate job has a medical scare that puts him in the hospital Emergency room for a day, and a week in the hospital before they can get his blood pressure to stabilize. He's put off work by his doctor for a month to get started losing weight and exercising. He's married, and his wife has tried talking him into exercising before, but now hounds him such that he's not allowed to start a day without exercise first, and he isn't allowed to take a bite of food that has not been photographed into his phone, first.
He's too honest to lie to her, so he does start losing weight. Just as he's getting ready to go back to work, though, he finds he's been forced into retirement. He happens to talk to his wife and one of their female friends (a circle of 50+ folks for friends) just after that female friend had attended a hen party that included strippers. While he hears this, he remembers the gang at work had gotten a comic stripper for their new VP. (He was 25 and fresh out of an MBA program, so they got him a 60-something stripper. He was a good sport and pretended it was all fun, but cracked the whip afterward and had the group all work extra that day to make up the time the stripper had done her act.) Maybe he could get laughs?
Severance package includes genuinely good medical insurance that lasts until he's eligible for Medicare, and is actually good enough to cover getting rid of the extra skin he doesn't need, thanks to the weight loss. The better shape he gets into, the more he can do on a daily basis, and the faster it comes off. When he finally gets back down to what the doc tells him is a healthy weight, the insurance actually pays for getting rid of the extra skin. (It did help that he listed his occupation as "male stripper"!) ;-)
A friend of a friend is a dance instructor, and he goes to her to help choreograph a stripper routine, and works up some stand-up to go with it. Despite all the weight loss and newly amorous wife, it just doesn't clue into his mind how good he now looks. The chorographer is having fun, though, and the more he works on dancing, the hotter she makes his routine.
When the dance instructor tells him she thinks he's ready, he hands out some cheap business cards as a comic stripper for parties. He sets a date to show off his routine for his wife and some of her friends, but the wife has a friend who is ill, and she travels to visit her friend, so that show gets canceled.
A dance student calls the instructor when the student has a party and decides she wants strippers. The old man is the only one she knows, so she gives over his information. When he gets the call, he can tell it is a younger woman, and he's excited, but not sexually, since he has no intentions of trying to get sex, and figures that younger women won't be interested in him. He puts on speedos as underwear, then skimpy shorts, then a G.I. uniform, as best as he could get from the military surplus store. (He already had a military-ish haircut)
He gets there and can hear the music already as he walks up. It reminds him to check and yes he still has his CD. When the owner opens the front door, he does his best impression of a salute and requests, "Permission to enter, Ma'am?", which does get a laugh and some catcalls. It turns out the ladies have already had a drink or two, and are very ready for some entertainment!
They re-arrange the living area with some chairs from the kitchen (regular, straight-backed, fairly comfy wooden chairs without arms), gets the CD set up and starts his routine, taking off combat boots and socks before dancing, then removing belt, hat, shirt, undershirt, going by each lady to straddle their chairs and have his chest close to their faces, being surprised that they start scratching his back and sucking on his chest. then he drops his pants and is a bit startled that women are holding out bills to stuff into his waistband. His penis unlimbers in his speedos...
As he's dancing his finale, the last woman takes out a $50, runs it in one leg of his shorts and out the other and says, "Mind if I pull these down?". He's flattered, and he knows he still has the speedos, so he says, "Go ahead." As she's doing this, he notices that during the act at some point, the ladies have shifted their chairs into more of a circle around him. He can tell, because hands are wandering just about everywhere on him as those skimpy shorts come down. He now has a semi, and the speedos seem strained a bit.
The music from the CD ends, and the owner happens to be sitting close enough to change the CD to one of her CD's. Naturally, it's Nine Inch Nails and "Closer". With a squeal of delight, the partiers come out of their chairs to dance up against him. The woman in front of him slides her arms around him, under his arms. He reaches back behind her to grab her *nice* butt. He is now getting an erection that is pushing the speedos away from his body when one of the women sees fit to start pulling them down. It's an effort the others join into before he can even take his hands off the butt of the woman in front of him.
He actually has enough time to think, "No big deal. It's not like they will try anything." before noticing she isn't wearing underwear under her skirt. He's not short (5' 9" tall) but he's got short legs, and he's noticing she isn't wearing underwear because his penis is now between her legs where it's *wet* already! As he gets ready to say something, she's already Frenching him before he can speak, and sliding herself onto his prick...
Someone please make that a story!
