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Old 03-04-2018, 09:47 AM   #1326
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And thatís why you decided to become a bailiff?
Night Court. Harry had a statue in his office.
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Old 03-04-2018, 09:58 AM   #1327
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We had Sex on the subway last night. Helen had a condom in her purse.
Subway sex is hot, did you guys get sandwiches after?
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Old 03-04-2018, 09:58 AM   #1328
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Narcotics. Harry had a stash in his office.
That explains his inimitable presentations.
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Old 03-04-2018, 09:59 AM   #1329
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Aha! You're really a cat burglar. That explains your limited presence!
No, I just moonlight as a cat.
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:19 AM   #1330
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No I don't take sleeping pills, I just sacrifice cats at night time to the moon God .
That's fucked up, and it also seems like a lot of effort just for a good night's sleep.
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:23 AM   #1331
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That's fucked up, just stay up and write.
Wise counsel, but things stop working right after several nights in a row.
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:02 PM   #1332
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Wise counsel, but im allergic to water.
Witch!
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:09 PM   #1333
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Bitch!
I am no dog, sir! I am clearly a fluffy, huggable, loveable kitty cat!
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:17 PM   #1334
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I am no Democrat, sir! I am clearly a Republican, fiscal and socially conservative, America first!
Then why do you drive a Mercedes?
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:28 PM   #1335
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Then why do you drive people crazy?
I'm a cat, it's what we do.
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:35 PM   #1336
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I'm a contortionist, it's what we do.
Unwrap your pretty legs from around your pretty ears and listen carefully. Hear that sound? It's your past, catching up with you. This chould be messy.
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:51 PM   #1337
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Your past is catching up with you!
Trip it? All I need is a five minute headstart!
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Old 03-04-2018, 12:54 PM   #1338
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Turnip? All I need is a five minute microwave!
Don't bother. We'll eat something along the way.
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Old 03-04-2018, 02:13 PM   #1339
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Don't bother. We'll forage for something along the way.
I don't blame you, when you're down to turnips it gets a bit dodgy. But rutabaga's not half bad.
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Old 03-04-2018, 03:44 PM   #1340
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Subway sex is hot, did you guys get sandwiches after?
They got sandwiches? Who's Helen?
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Old 03-04-2018, 03:53 PM   #1341
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They got sandwiches? Who was paying?
All it took was Helen's charms and a bit of skin.


(check the rules, Captain...)
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Old 03-04-2018, 04:01 PM   #1342
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Helen of Troy was quite the babe in her time.


(Check the rules Captain......)
I think NumbNuts is a little slow.
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Old 03-04-2018, 04:35 PM   #1343
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I think NumbNuts has afterglow.
Oh? Do tell.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:50 PM   #1344
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Go to hell.
What did I do now?
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:05 PM   #1345
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What didn't I do now?
I don't know, maybe you should start making lists. It works for me.
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Old 03-05-2018, 02:37 AM   #1346
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I don't know, maybe you should start making friends. It works for me.
I like the idea, but it is just that... other people are scary.
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Old 03-05-2018, 02:53 AM   #1347
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I like the idea, but it is just that... other people are hairy.
And that makes the back of my throat tickle.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:35 AM   #1348
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And that makes the back of my throat hiccup.
Try some Pedialyte. Works for me.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:56 AM   #1349
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Try some dynamite. Works for me.
I'll stick to laxatives.
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Old 03-05-2018, 11:00 AM   #1350
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I'll stick it in my relatives.
Yes, incest is best kept in the family.
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