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Submissive with a disability

LittleKay said:
I don't quite get it.

BDSM is first and foremost based in consent and trust. To say that a disabled person shouldn't be written about in a submissive nature because it's like bullying is suggesting that a person who is disabled has no right to consent to something happening to their own body in any context. You're saying that a person who is disabled is victimized by their disability and have no right to choose anything but a vanilla relationship.

Being in a consensual healthy dominanting relationship takes no more consent than me going to the tattoo shop and getting my ears pierced. Would a tattoo artist be considered mauling a person bound in a wheelchair if that person asked for a piercing? Are you going to turn away or leave because it is uncomfortable to see them get their ears pierced vs an able bodied person?

Disabled people exist in this world. Their desires do not change because they lose a limb or don't have eyesight..

Are disabled people more vulnerable to being taken advantage of? Yes. But are they less capable of making sound decisions about their body? No.

It may not be your cup of tea, but it is no more bullying than it would be if I were to take their place.
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I agree, and might even go further.

Approaching it from another direction, what people often want in the bedroom is a break from their lives more generally. When I'm feeling a bit out of control in life, I tend to want to be more dominant in the bedroom. When I'm feeling on top of the world, I might like my partner to take charge. It kind of brings everything in balance.

Often, people with a disability work quite hard at being as independent as possible. It seems entirely plausible to me that someone working hard to be as self sufficient as they are able might want to take a break from maintaining that control for a bit.
 
ChasingAnna said:
I agree, and might even go further.

Approaching it from another direction, what people often want in the bedroom is a break from their lives more generally. When I'm feeling a bit out of control in life, I tend to want to be more dominant in the bedroom. When I'm feeling on top of the world, I might like my partner to take charge. It kind of brings everything in balance.

Often, people with a disability work quite hard at being as independent as possible. It seems entirely plausible to me that someone working hard to be as self sufficient as they are able might want to take a break from maintaining that control for a bit.
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Could be fun to have a female lover in a chair... If she could still feel her hips but couldn't use her legs. Could have fun with things like remote controlled vibs. Where if she gets wet she wouldn't need to worry about the wet spot showing as much as a woman standing up say in tight shorts would. A bumpy trail may be interesting too if she had a toy in her where the bumpy trail may not have the same jarring affect as stepping into a pot hole vs rolling over it..
 
Nobody seems to understand the nuances of BDSM around here. May understand how to hold a whip or to put on a leather corset and fishnets. But not a god damned clue as to how it actually works in the head.


If you had ever actually DONE any research into submissives. MANY and I mean MANY have disabilities. Quite often its MENTAL. As in, severely depressed person who only has the ability to get out of bed in the morning, take a shower, use the bathroom, feed, etc. SIMPLY because their DOMINIANT gave them a list of daily tasks that included those things to do.

Large numbers are simply using that list to run on autopoilot and get through a day, its that their brain doesn't cope with shit and they are using a dominants control as a new operating system.

some do that for years, others not so long. It varies. But the issue with that is, they cant function without that dominant. take the dominant away and they crash and burn in days if they cant get a new one.
 
Pocketshaver said:
Nobody seems to understand the nuances of BDSM around here. May understand how to hold a whip or to put on a leather corset and fishnets. But not a god damned clue as to how it actually works in the head.


If you had ever actually DONE any research into submissives. MANY and I mean MANY have disabilities. Quite often its MENTAL. As in, severely depressed person who only has the ability to get out of bed in the morning, take a shower, use the bathroom, feed, etc. SIMPLY because their DOMINIANT gave them a list of daily tasks that included those things to do.

Large numbers are simply using that list to run on autopoilot and get through a day, its that their brain doesn't cope with shit and they are using a dominants control as a new operating system.

some do that for years, others not so long. It varies. But the issue with that is, they cant function without that dominant. take the dominant away and they crash and burn in days if they cant get a new one.
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It sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship with your Dom. I'd get proper therapy to deal with the depression, then if you still want to be sure, have at it from a healthy place. I'm switch and I've never has any issues like you are describing on either side. Assuming that depression is part of our the root of your sub tenancies is probably an avoidance mechanism.
 
ChasingAnna said:
It sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship with your Dom. I'd get proper therapy to deal with the depression, then if you still want to be sure, have at it from a healthy place. I'm switch and I've never has any issues like you are describing on either side. Assuming that depression is part of our the root of your sub tenancies is probably an avoidance mechanism.
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you really are a clueless twit if you think I was talking bout myself. RESEARCH means a person does a study on something. I did a study on submissives.

Far to many are using it as part of a self help cure to deal with a mental problem of ANY sort. Some have slight problems, some have huge. Some do well, some don't do so well.

Last one 2 I did any work with both ended up married with children.


But some DOMINANTS use it as a way to deal with personal problems. Mainly dealing with trust issues in a relationship based on past relationships where the female turned things to shit.
 
Pocketshaver said:
you really are a clueless twit if you think I was talking bout myself. RESEARCH means a person does a study on something. I did a study on submissives.
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Neat, I'm always interested in hearing about research methods for "underground" subcultures because it's such a challenging subject, trying to get a representative sample when you don't have a master list of kinksters to work from. I've seen more than a couple people who tried to run "surveys" without learning anything about how to design a survey first, they just fire off a bunch of questions to their friends or the local kink forum or what-have-you, and of course the results are meaningless. It's at the same level of incompetence as somebody trying to do suspension bondage without knowing how to tie basic knots.

Care to tell us a bit about the technical side of this study? What sort of selection method did you use, and how did you analyse the data? Did you end up publishing it somewhere?
 
Bramblethorn said:
Neat, I'm always interested in hearing about research methods for "underground" subcultures because it's such a challenging subject, trying to get a representative sample when you don't have a master list of kinksters to work from. I've seen more than a couple people who tried to run "surveys" without learning anything about how to design a survey first, they just fire off a bunch of questions to their friends or the local kink forum or what-have-you, and of course the results are meaningless. It's at the same level of incompetence as somebody trying to do suspension bondage without knowing how to tie basic knots.

Care to tell us a bit about the technical side of this study? What sort of selection method did you use, and how did you analyse the data? Did you end up publishing it somewhere?
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fucking twit....

If a shepherd wants to know what his sheeps eat, he eats with them.

basic fucking principle. don't ask, watch. don't ask, just fucking listen.
 
please lets get back to what the maker of this thread was looking at...

LittleKay said:
A wheelchair bound, or amputee, or some sort finding submission with an older dominant man.

Male or female?
If female, focusing on going from meek and shy to confident in her submission and desire for sex.
If male, feminization and growing contentment in his helplessness.

I know it is less than half an idea. But it intrigues me.
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cripple92996 said:
As a chair user, perhaps you could let ab folk know about the sexy rehab proceds
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LittleKay said:
Mind clarifying?
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cripple92996 said:
Most amputee have been examined and touched constantly by doctors. The submissive may see the dom as a doctor. Being probed is hard
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cripple92996 said:
Even if the controller is not medical. The feminization is part of being cured.
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LittleKay said:
What do you mean, cured?
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cripple92996 said:
Perhaps the dominate could act as if this control is necessary.
The phrase for your own good, makes people hard wett
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From what I see about what I quoted... Looks like LittleKay wanted this to be more of a medical giving into a doc kind of thing rather then submisive in bdsm... can we please try to get back to the medical side rather then running with who and what a dom/sub should be?? PLEASE go debate what should a dom/sub be like in the bdsm area.
 
perhaps you yourself need to understand the difference between BDSM and what the original poster was talking about.


BDSM doesn't always mean sexual stuff at all. OR a sexual context to it.

even if the rehab therapist makes wheelchair girl do her exercises to avoid punishment, its STILL DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION< HENCE BDSM
 
Pocketshaver said:
you really are a clueless twit if you think I was talking bout myself. RESEARCH means a person does a study on something. I did a study on submissives.

Far to many are using it as part of a self help cure to deal with a mental problem of ANY sort. Some have slight problems, some have huge. Some do well, some don't do so well.

Last one 2 I did any work with both ended up married with children.


But some DOMINANTS use it as a way to deal with personal problems. Mainly dealing with trust issues in a relationship based on past relationships where the female turned things to shit.
Click to expand...
I assumed you had some personal experience. If you were doing proper research, might I assume you've published in a reputable journal? If so, I'm sure we'd all be interested in reading the article. If you have neither personal experience nor proper scientific observation,one might assume you are simply trolling and discount what you are saying.

You see, I was merely attempting to give you the benefit of the doubt. That was apparently misplaced.
 
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