Fat man with tiny penis seeks woman with one leg.

I

islandjoe2

Guest
Not sure who the fat man is or why he wants a one-legged woman, but at least it got you to open this post.

I am legitimately searching though. Here's a list of what I'm looking for....

- Recommendations for restaurants near San Francisco airport. I'm open to all food types, but prefer somewhere not busy, lots of parking and with good dessert. Also, they have to accept American Express.

- Someone to Netflix and Chill with. Like, for reals. I mean, I've had sex and watched movies before, but not since it had an actual name. I need to experience it and see if it's any different from the old days.

- A new cinnamon roll recipe. Not overwhelmingly sweet, emphasis on the roll part, and with raisins. The raisins must be moist when the rolls are done.

- A 1982 Honda Civic hatchback, in running condition. Color doesn't matter but I'm kind of particular about the interior. No poop stains on the seats, no cigarette smells, etc.

- What's a step down from soulmate? I'm not looking for someone to run away with, leaving all our earthly responsibilities behind with ne'er a care in the world, but it would be nice to find that spark again. I could expound on this, but it's been my experience the flutters can come from anywhere, why set arbitrary limits?

- Jokes. I need jokes.

- Call me.
 
Greetings Island Joe,
Thank you for the levity.
You have a great sense of humor.
I am no where near San Fran so I can't help with the restaurant.
I haven't been to California in 15 years. There was at that time a great Mexican restaurant in San Diego called Pallanque. Incredible Mole sauce.

Wishing you much success in your searching.

Gg
 
Greetings Island Joe,
Thank you for the levity.
You have a great sense of humor.
I am no where near San Fran so I can't help with the restaurant.
I haven't been to California in 15 years. There was at that time a great Mexican restaurant in San Diego called Pallanque. Incredible Mole sauce.

Wishing you much success in your searching.

Gg

Thank you. I make myself laugh all the time.

I'm nowhere near San Francisco either. But, sometimes I go there, and I always eat at the same place. Don't get me wrong, it's a great place or I wouldn't keep going back, but.... looking to expand my palette.

The search continues....
 
*laughing* you are such a sweet nut! I hope you find what you're looking for!
Especially the raisins... getting them moist without being mushy is an art, you know?

:heart:
 
So I opened the post.

- I just stay at home. There's plenty of parking and I'm not a bad cook.

- Is Netflix and chill similar to falling asleep while I watch movies? That's one of my main skills.

- Just eat grapes. You can't go wrong really. They're always moist.

- How about a 1980 Toyota Corolla? Nice interior but poo brown paintwork.

- Hmm...step down from soulmate. Oh how about lustylover. Definitely could be sparks there.

- So there was a fat man sitting alone in a bar.
He was approached and propositioned by an attractive blonde.
He turned her down, politely saying he was looking for a one legged woman.
The blonde said "Buy me one drink and I'll only have one leg. Since after two I'm legless."
 
*laughing* you are such a sweet nut! I hope you find what you're looking for!
Especially the raisins... getting them moist without being mushy is an art, you know?

:heart:

My experience with raisins has been dismal at best. So poorly has my performance been, I've taken to shortcutting the raisins and just squishing them down between the layers of the cinnamon rolls after they rolls are cooked, rather than risk cooking the raisins inside the rolls and screwing them all up..... it's a sad existence really.
 
So I opened the post.

- I just stay at home. There's plenty of parking and I'm not a bad cook.

But your home is sooooo far from here. Not helpful

- Is Netflix and chill similar to falling asleep while I watch movies? That's one of my main skills.

I'm not sure it's the same thing. When I can't sleep I'll put on an action movie and turn the sound all the way up. I'm out in 30 seconds.

- Just eat grapes. You can't go wrong really. They're always moist.

Does anybody else think associating the word "moist" with food is perhaps a bad idea? Just wondering.

I eat grapes by the fistful, but they're not the same when I drown them in frosting.


- How about a 1980 Toyota Corolla? Nice interior but poo brown paintwork.

How about no?


- Hmm...step down from soulmate. Oh how about lustylover. Definitely could be sparks there.

Is lustylover someone's username? I'm not picky, send her my way.

- So there was a fat man sitting alone in a bar.
He was approached and propositioned by an attractive blonde.
He turned her down, politely saying he was looking for a one legged woman.
The blonde said "Buy me one drink and I'll only have one leg. Since after two I'm legless."

Hmmm. I'll admit this made me laugh, the humor as much as the thought of you slaving over my post to craft a custom made joke:rose:
 
My experience with raisins has been dismal at best. So poorly has my performance been, I've taken to shortcutting the raisins and just squishing them down between the layers of the cinnamon rolls after they rolls are cooked, rather than risk cooking the raisins inside the rolls and screwing them all up..... it's a sad existence really.

No, that's not how you have cinnamon rolls. Try mine. :) You can also overhydrate your raisins before you add them but I find that to be an unnecessary step.
 
But your home is sooooo far from here. Not helpful

wherever here is.


I'm not sure it's the same thing. When I can't sleep I'll put on an action movie and turn the sound all the way up. I'm out in 30 seconds.

sounds like a match made in heaven.

Does anybody else think associating the word "moist" with food is perhaps a bad idea? Just wondering.

I eat grapes by the fistful, but they're not the same when I drown them in frosting.

but how much fun is it using slightly inappropriate words and acting innocent.

How about no?

Fussy! Too old?

Is lustylover someone's username? I'm not picky, send her my way.

If it's not it should be.

Hmmm. I'll admit this made me laugh, the humor as much as the thought of you slaving over my post to craft a custom made joke:rose:

*curtsies*šŸ˜†
 
No, that's not how you have cinnamon rolls. Try mine. :) You can also overhydrate your raisins before you add them but I find that to be an unnecessary step.

Well, if it's the difference between having or not having, then yes this is how I have cinnamon rolls. Like I said, it's a horrible way of living that I wouldn't wish on the most wretched of souls, but it is what it is ;)
 
.....

wherever here is.

I can tell you, it's not here 18.2683Ā° N, 78.3472Ā° W which really blows.


sounds like a match made in heaven.

Sleep and loud movies? Yes, I would concur.

but how much fun is it using slightly inappropriate words and acting innocent.

I'm not acting. And I only use wholly inappropriate words, like taint.

Fussy! Too old?

It's not a Honda Civic. My needs are pretty simple.


If it's not it should be.

Lustylover, if you're out there, I need you. Now.
.....
 
Hahaha this is awesome! This is a great first post!! I bet you get all the girls with that sense of humour.
 
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