Distance Domination-Support Thread

the captians wench said:

I think this is an issue I've come a long way on. There was a time when I thought a lot like rose, and I thought that if Jounar really cared about me then he'd want to spend more time with me on the phone, on line, and getting my ass over there. I just thought that if some one cared so much for me why wouldn't they want to make me the center of their world.

It took time, but I realized that it was very unfair of me to think that. He has work, friend, family, and a life over there that he has to lead. Taking care of himself, and taking care of myself for that matter, really needs to be the first priority, other wize there will be nothing for me to go over to.

As I think about it now, even if he were a half hour drive away insted of an 8 hour flight, I don't think I'd be there everynight. It would deffinitly be easier to talk to him when I wanted to, and visit, but realistically I don't think face to face contact would happen as much as I'd like to think it would.

This doesn't mean that he cares for me any less, or I him. Just that we both realize that life goes on, and we have to function. As much as I wish I could spend every second of every day with him, that's just not possible, and LDR has little to do with it.

Besides, I think he'd get annoyed with me, and I'd be corrected a lot more if we spent that much time together.

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again this is where we differ. if He lived next to me, i would be with Him as much as humanly possible and the phone and internet would be a thing of the past, except maybe to call Him and say hey, can i come over? or hey, i'm on my way.....things like that...*shrugs* maybe i'm just an attention whore and need all the time with him that i can get, and lucky for me, he feels the same. i'm not saying that for YOU that couldn't work but for us, this is what works and i couldn't imagine not talking to Him as much as i do. hell i miss His voice just after 4 or so hours of sleep and can't wait to get out of bed and wake Him up to Hear His voice once again. it's good that you can still feel what you feel without talking to Him much, but for ME, it just wouldn't work and Him and i would not have made as far as we have, it wouldn't have lasted 3 years...and i know this for a fact. both of us need each other's attention entirely too much for a 2 hour conversation to do us any good. this is just us and the way it works for us, if it works better the other way for others then i'm glad for that too.....it's just a matter of what's right for your relationship, and if we talked any less, we wouldn't have the relationship we have and have had for 3 years....*shrugs* again, different strokes for different folks.....

lil_slave_rose said:

again this is where we differ. if He lived next to me, i would be with Him as much as humanly possible and the phone and internet would be a thing of the past, except maybe to call Him and say hey, can i come over? or hey, i'm on my way.....things like that...*shrugs* maybe i'm just an attention whore and need all the time with him that i can get, and lucky for me, he feels the same. i'm not saying that for YOU that couldn't work but for us, this is what works and i couldn't imagine not talking to Him as much as i do. hell i miss His voice just after 4 or so hours of sleep and can't wait to get out of bed and wake Him up to Hear His voice once again. it's good that you can still feel what you feel without talking to Him much, but for ME, it just wouldn't work and Him and i would not have made as far as we have, it wouldn't have lasted 3 years...and i know this for a fact. both of us need each other's attention entirely too much for a 2 hour conversation to do us any good. this is just us and the way it works for us, if it works better the other way for others then i'm glad for that too.....it's just a matter of what's right for your relationship, and if we talked any less, we wouldn't have the relationship we have and have had for 3 years....*shrugs* again, different strokes for different folks.....

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LOL, you are not crazy....F was in the UK for one night on business last week and neither of us slept well at all...makes us wonder how we survived the months he was away for a week at a time, home for the weekend and off again, last year.

Catalina

lil_slave_rose said:

again this is where we differ. if He lived next to me, i would be with Him as much as humanly possible and the phone and internet would be a thing of the past, except maybe to call Him and say hey, can i come over? or hey, i'm on my way.....things like that...*shrugs* maybe i'm just an attention whore and need all the time with him that i can get, and lucky for me, he feels the same. i'm not saying that for YOU that couldn't work but for us, this is what works and i couldn't imagine not talking to Him as much as i do. hell i miss His voice just after 4 or so hours of sleep and can't wait to get out of bed and wake Him up to Hear His voice once again. it's good that you can still feel what you feel without talking to Him much, but for ME, it just wouldn't work and Him and i would not have made as far as we have, it wouldn't have lasted 3 years...and i know this for a fact. both of us need each other's attention entirely too much for a 2 hour conversation to do us any good. this is just us and the way it works for us, if it works better the other way for others then i'm glad for that too.....it's just a matter of what's right for your relationship, and if we talked any less, we wouldn't have the relationship we have and have had for 3 years....*shrugs* again, different strokes for different folks.....

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Rose, I really didn't mean to say that your way was wrong or anything like that, and if I sounded like I did then I'm sorry. All I was really saying is that I was in a place in my life where I needed constant contact to feel loved, and now I am able to feel the same amount, if not more so, with out being on the phone, or net or what ever all of the time. That's all I was saying.

catalina_francisco said:

LOL, you are not crazy....F was in the UK for one night on business last week and neither of us slept well at all...makes us wonder how we survived the months he was away for a week at a time, home for the weekend and off again, last year.

Catalina

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lol..glad to know i'm not crazy though my shrink may disagree (haha) but i know exactly what you're saying and now that we've had that 'real time' time together, the cravings, and needs to be together have gotten even stronger. if we go a couple of days without talking like we normally do, things don't go right for us. last night we got to talk for probably 10 minutes and when i woke up this morning, there was something missing, and i NEEDED to hear His voice as soon as i woke up, considering it would have only been about 6:00 in the morning His time when i got up, i didn't call Him, but it was hard not to.

i just don't know how we could hold our dynamic if we only talked a couple hours a day, if it works for others, than i say more power to them, but for US it just wouldn't work, and i'm not sure why, but everytime i say things like this, someone takes my words and twists them all around to make them mean a 'universal truth' and i'm not sure why that is, as i'm always saying 'for us' or 'in our relationship' or *i* or whatever to show that i am only talking about Him and i...*shrugs*

catalina_francisco said:

LOL, you are not crazy....F was in the UK for one night on business last week and neither of us slept well at all...makes us wonder how we survived the months he was away for a week at a time, home for the weekend and off again, last year.

Catalina

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Maybe you just get used to thing how they have to be.

Maybe that's what all of this boils down to.

Rose and MP are used to talking to each other almost constantly, so anything less would not satisfy them.

Jounar and I are used to some what daily contact, and so that's what we've gotten comfortable with.

There was a time when we first started out that I was on the same schedule as he was (he was working 9-5 which ment I was working 4a-12). Durring those first few months we talked for hours when he got home, every day. When my schedule became not so set, we were not able to talk as often, and I missed the hell out of him. I was misserable, and he assured me he was feeling the same. But there was no help for it. I had to take this new schedule so that I could affor my own place because my mom was kicking me out of hers.

It was a very rough year but we made it threw. it was either we toughed it out or we spilt. But eventually we got used to the amount of contact we could get. So when my schedule changed again to more match his, the increase of contact was a real blessing. Now we are getting used to this new amount of contact, and when my schedule changes with my new promotion we may be back to only chatting a few times a week for 20 mins or so with one of us fighting off sleep to do so.

We all make sacrifices for the ones we love. Just not nessisarily the same ones.

the captians wench said:

Rose, I really didn't mean to say that your way was wrong or anything like that, and if I sounded like I did then I'm sorry. All I was really saying is that I was in a place in my life where I needed constant contact to feel loved, and now I am able to feel the same amount, if not more so, with out being on the phone, or net or what ever all of the time. That's all I was saying.

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naw wenchie, i never got the impression that you were saying i was wrong, i've been on this board long enough to know you wouldn't try to tell me what's right or wrong, but sometimes it does feel on this board that i am defending mine and master's relationship more often than not, not because of you but because of my words being taken the wrong way or someone putting more into my words than what is actually there, so if i seemed defensive to you in reply to your posts, it wasn't meant like that

the captians wench said:

Maybe you just get used to thing how they have to be.

Maybe that's what all of this boils down to.

Rose and MP are used to talking to each other almost constantly, so anything less would not satisfy them.

Jounar and I are used to some what daily contact, and so that's what we've gotten comfortable with.

There was a time when we first started out that I was on the same schedule as he was (he was working 9-5 which ment I was working 4a-12). Durring those first few months we talked for hours when he got home, every day. When my schedule became not so set, we were not able to talk as often, and I missed the hell out of him. I was misserable, and he assured me he was feeling the same. But there was no help for it. I had to take this new schedule so that I could affor my own place because my mom was kicking me out of hers.

It was a very rough year but we made it threw. it was either we toughed it out or we spilt. But eventually we got used to the amount of contact we could get. So when my schedule changed again to more match his, the increase of contact was a real blessing. Now we are getting used to this new amount of contact, and when my schedule changes with my new promotion we may be back to only chatting a few times a week for 20 mins or so with one of us fighting off sleep to do so.

We all make sacrifices for the ones we love. Just not nessisarily the same ones.

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Nah, we found the same when we were LD before we even met. He had had other subs, lived with one for 2 years...I had been in other relationships, dated other Doms, but once we connected we knew this was not just another relationship, it was special and something we had both wondered if it were possible to find. Once we met and married and he returned to Europe after 2 1/2 weeks together, the plan was he would find a better place for us to live, I would gradually sort out my life and house and get organised, then move. Problem was we couldn't bear to be apart anymore and so I initially came over for 3 weeks and stayed 3 months and then flew home and settled everything in 6 weeks.

As time passes, we find that unbelievably, we become closer and closer. We keep thinking it can't get better, but it just does and to be apart is like having part of ourselves missing. We both wanted a D/s relationship where this depth of bond would be natural, and we feel blessed to have found it. I guess also we have reached an age where mortality is something we think about realistically and don't want to be apart anymore than necessary so when one of us goes, we know we spent every moment we could together and with the other as our primary focus and just a heartbeat away. Even apart we both think of the other constantly....and we find for the first time in our lives we even dream and fantasise about each other. In other relationships we both found we would dream and fantasise about others, usually anonymous fantasy figures, and rarely if ever the one we were with...now no-one else features in our fantasy world without us being at least together in the dream or fantasy and the main character in these meanderings. It sounds mushy, and it is....lol, we get lots of comments about how obvious our bond is even when not in the same room...and not from lifestyle people, but just normal mainstream people who feel it, not just see it.

Catalina

the captians wench said:

Maybe you just get used to thing how they have to be.

Maybe that's what all of this boils down to.

Rose and MP are used to talking to each other almost constantly, so anything less would not satisfy them.

Jounar and I are used to some what daily contact, and so that's what we've gotten comfortable with.

There was a time when we first started out that I was on the same schedule as he was (he was working 9-5 which ment I was working 4a-12). Durring those first few months we talked for hours when he got home, every day. When my schedule became not so set, we were not able to talk as often, and I missed the hell out of him. I was misserable, and he assured me he was feeling the same. But there was no help for it. I had to take this new schedule so that I could affor my own place because my mom was kicking me out of hers.

It was a very rough year but we made it threw. it was either we toughed it out or we spilt. But eventually we got used to the amount of contact we could get. So when my schedule changed again to more match his, the increase of contact was a real blessing. Now we are getting used to this new amount of contact, and when my schedule changes with my new promotion we may be back to only chatting a few times a week for 20 mins or so with one of us fighting off sleep to do so.

We all make sacrifices for the ones we love. Just not nessisarily the same ones.

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right wenchie, though even if i was with someone else, i would still need that much 'talk time' or time together, it's just who i am. but everything you said in this post makes perfect sense

catalina_francisco said:

Nah, we found the same when we were LD before we even met. He had had other subs, lived with one for 2 years...I had been in other relationships, dated other Doms, but once we connected we knew this was not just another relationship, it was special and something we had both wondered if it were possible to find. Once we met and married and he returned to Europe after 2 1/2 weeks together, the plan was he would find a better place for us to live, I would gradually sort out my life and house and get organised, then move. Problem was we couldn't bear to be apart anymore and so I initially came over for 3 weeks and stayed 3 months and then flew home and settled everything in 6 weeks.

As time passes, we find that unbelievably, we become closer and closer. We keep thinking it can't get better, but it just does and to be apart is like having part of ourselves missing. We both wanted a D/s relationship where this depth of bond would be natural, and we feel blessed to have found it. I guess also we have reached an age where mortality is something we think about realistically and don't want to be apart anymore than necessary so when one of us goes, we know we spent every moment we could together and with the other as our primary focus and just a heartbeat away. Even apart we both think of the other constantly....and we find for the first time in our lives we even dream and fantasise about each other. In other relationships we both found we would dream and fantasise about others, usually anonymous fantasy figures, and rarely if ever the one we were with...now no-one else features in our fantasy world without us being at least together in the dream or fantasy and the main character in these meanderings. It sounds mushy, and it is....lol, we get lots of comments about how obvious our bond is even when not in the same room...and not from lifestyle people, but just normal mainstream people who feel it, not just see it.

Catalina

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awwwwwwwwwww...sorry i just had that overwhelming urge to say that *grins* but it is the way we feel as well, but unfortunately, different things have prevented us from being able to just up and 'be together' but it's getting there....finally....

catalina_francisco said:

Nah, we found the same when we were LD before we even met. He had had other subs, lived with one for 2 years...I had been in other relationships, dated other Doms, but once we connected we knew this was not just another relationship, it was special and something we had both wondered if it were possible to find. Once we met and married and he returned to Europe after 2 1/2 weeks together, the plan was he would find a better place for us to live, I would gradually sort out my life and house and get organised, then move. Problem was we couldn't bear to be apart anymore and so I initially came over for 3 weeks and stayed 3 months and then flew home and settled everything in 6 weeks.

As time passes, we find that unbelievably, we become closer and closer. We keep thinking it can't get better, but it just does and to be apart is like having part of ourselves missing. We both wanted a D/s relationship where this depth of bond would be natural, and we feel blessed to have found it. I guess also we have reached an age where mortality is something we think about realistically and don't want to be apart anymore than necessary so when one of us goes, we know we spent every moment we could together and with the other as our primary focus and just a heartbeat away. Even apart we both think of the other constantly....and we find for the first time in our lives we even dream and fantasise about each other. In other relationships we both found we would dream and fantasise about others, usually anonymous fantasy figures, and rarely if ever the one we were with...now no-one else features in our fantasy world without us being at least together in the dream or fantasy and the main character in these meanderings. It sounds mushy, and it is....lol, we get lots of comments about how obvious our bond is even when not in the same room...and not from lifestyle people, but just normal mainstream people who feel it, not just see it.

Catalina

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Cat, I love hearing how you just hopped up and moved in together. It's a great story on faith, and I am very glad it worked out for you both.

the captians wench said:

Cat, I love hearing how you just hopped up and moved in together. It's a great story on faith, and I am very glad it worked out for you both.

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LOL, I am just glad it worked and wasn't temporary insanity on both our parts!!

Catalina

catalina_francisco said:

LOL, I am just glad it worked and wasn't temporary insanity on both our parts!!

Catalina

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I have to admit that after about a month I started looking into what it would take to move over to him.....but I should prolly look into a devorse first.

Hi Everyone! I've been reading the posts for a few days now and following the ways everyone communicates. Once again, what a perfect example of how each relationship is unique. What works for couple *A* doesn't work for couple *B*, but it doesn't mean that anyone is wrong. Whether life is vanilla or BDSM, each relationship is different.

Raven and I have days where we spend hours and hours with each other during the day, simply because we're both working at our desks. Then we have other days where we barely manage a *hello* for each other. As time has passed I've become more confident and able to manage those days better than I did in the beginning.

feeling blue

I am in awe of LDRs that end up working out, such as the one between Catalina and Francisco, full of love and commitment.

I was in a LDR for three years. It seemed we fit so perfectly, mentally, emotionally, and physically; all of it, the ups and the downs. I could not have asked for more. My Dom and I visited each other as often as we could. His last visit to my home was to help me strip wall paper and paint to get my house ready to sell, with the explicit motive of me moving to his home and spend the rest of our lives together. That last visit was in October 2005. Then, out of the blue, in March 2006 he called me to break off our relationship. He supposedly met someone else and said it wasn’t fair to anyone to continue our relationship.

Just two weeks prior to this revelation, we were looking online (during our nightly phone calls) at flight schedules for me to visit him and we spoke of putting my house up for sale, what I wanted to keep and bring with me, etc. Talk about being blown away. I honestly don’t have a clue as to why he did a 180.

Kudos to anyone who can survive a LDR and make it work and eventually join in one home, together. My faith in LDRs has been badly shaken. I have actively looked for someone closer to where I live, as well as in the same city, but it seems like slim picken’s, LOL. I have no problem with relocating at all. However, I am very leary of LDRs, now, which limits my choices. Life sure is frustrating, at times. Yet, reading of LDRs such as C and F, or MP and rose, it’s nice to know there is some hope out there! Thank you for keeping the candle lit.

I wish you all the best with J, the captains wench!

Exogenous said:

I am in awe of LDRs that end up working out, such as the one between Catalina and Francisco, full of love and commitment.

I was in a LDR for three years. It seemed we fit so perfectly, mentally, emotionally, and physically; all of it, the ups and the downs. I could not have asked for more. My Dom and I visited each other as often as we could. His last visit to my home was to help me strip wall paper and paint to get my house ready to sell, with the explicit motive of me moving to his home and spend the rest of our lives together. That last visit was in October 2005. Then, out of the blue, in March 2006 he called me to break off our relationship. He supposedly met someone else and said it wasn’t fair to anyone to continue our relationship.

Just two weeks prior to this revelation, we were looking online (during our nightly phone calls) at flight schedules for me to visit him and we spoke of putting my house up for sale, what I wanted to keep and bring with me, etc. Talk about being blown away. I honestly don’t have a clue as to why he did a 180.

Kudos to anyone who can survive a LDR and make it work and eventually join in one home, together. My faith in LDRs has been badly shaken. I have actively looked for someone closer to where I live, as well as in the same city, but it seems like slim picken’s, LOL. I have no problem with relocating at all. However, I am very leary of LDRs, now, which limits my choices. Life sure is frustrating, at times. Yet, reading of LDRs such as C and F, or MP and rose, it’s nice to know there is some hope out there! Thank you for keeping the candle lit.

I wish you all the best with J, the captains wench!

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i am sorry that the LDR you were in has jaded you, though i certainly understand it. as for mine and Master's relationship, it's not been an easy road by no means, it's been 3 years and we are still having to push back the date of the 'move' due to circumstances with me *sigh* which seems always be the reason, but we are working on it, and hopefully soon, very soon. it takes ALOT of commitment and alot of patience, love, understanding to make it work and if one partner is not willing to give 100% then it's bound to fail

i'm sorry for what you went through and too many times i've seen the very same thing, though it seems you were making the effort for you two to be together so i'm sure it was a huge shock to you when He ended it, but everything happens for a reason and i think, and truly believe, your someone is out there ..good luck to you!

being in a LDR is a bitch. there is no way to soft soap it, nor rose coloured tint to add to it.

The fact that rose and I are in near constant communication is the one thing that keeps us going, though the hard times and the good times.

catalina_francisco said:

Ah, guess you have to be in the situation without a primary relationship to fill in the gaps. For us it just wasn't enough, nor did we have the patience to waste anymore time waiting, for others there are many factors which leave it as the only option. If you find the right person, it is amazing what you can go through to stay together. I couldn't do it as a permanent arrangement, or a permanent fill in for what I felt I needed, but it was the perfect way to meet the right one for me as I didn't have a built in babysitter or money to hire one while I went to things like munches etc., nor do I find those things appealing as a regular outlet (I have a problem with any form of regularity I now realise) so online was my one and only option. Fortunately for me, for the first time in my life I don't crave for something more.

Catalina

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*nods*

I'm speaking for me only.

I've stated again and again that if BOTH other parties are into it, good for them. I'm not judging them or you. I think I've stated more than once that I am very happy to hear about your wonderful relationship. I'm happy for you and F.

For me, even without another primary relationship I would find it to be too controlling and too co-dependent to be on the phone or online most of our waking hours period.

catalina_francisco said:

LOL, well perhaps the difference here FF is you need 2 men to do what one can do for rose!! And isn't a big part of having a Dom wanting to be controlled? See, for me, I couldn't concentrate on more than one man, especially where D/s is involved, and give either of them the best of me, but that is just me...I tend to be an all or nothing type girl which gets in the way of ever entertaining any thoughts of having more than one in my life. Call it co-dependent if you want, I just call it committed. ...and they don't have to schedule who has rights over my time and when as there is ony one to demand my 100% attention anytime he chooses.

Catalina

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Actually that's not the difference as I see it. First of all I don't need two men to do anything. I happen to have two that are as happy with our situations as I am, but I could be just as happy with one as anyone is. Regardless it doesn't make me more or less than anyone else.

The difference as I see it is that Lil Slave Rose and her Dom want different things than my Dom, my husband or I do. Also you and F want different things. That's not a problem for me. I'm not putting anyone else down or insinuating that one is better than another. I'm merely saying what my feeling about allocation of time on the phone and internet mean to me and postulating about how smothered and unhealthy a lot of it would feel to me.

There is a HUGE difference between people and the level of control they seek in D/s or would want to deal with IMO. This isn't a contest here. One isn't subbier than another, we just have different needs and interests. I'm willing to say that's great for you and yours, it's simply not something I would want to deal with. I thought we were all able to do that here while still giving our opinions and feelings about things.

As for me, I am in no way like The Giving Tree nor do I want to be. Co-dependence is not something I seek in any relationship, D/s or not. The sort of control in which we must be online or on the phone most of our waking hours is not something I seek. It really feels like way too much to me. I'd feel smothered as I mentioned before. If I needed that much I'd feel bad about it. I know that from my past and how I've felt about needing what I felt like was too much time and attention.

Can I give enough attention and focus to two men? I think I can. They seem to agree. Hopefully that won't change. I am very committed and so are they. They each get 100% of my attention when we are together. That's they way I am with everyone, friends, family, and work 100%, no game playing. The only way schedule comes into it, is the same way it comes into it for most of us in life, but whatever. If you must be all "Cat roar I'm better than you, trying smack FF down," go for it girl.

*shrugs*

If you can't give 100% to two men or schedule it. So what? You don't want to anyway. You have the one you want. As I've said many times, good for you both. I'm often inspired by y'all.

the captians wench said:

I think this is an issue I've come a long way on. There was a time when I thought a lot like rose, and I thought that if Jounar really cared about me then he'd want to spend more time with me on the phone, on line, and getting my ass over there. I just thought that if some one cared so much for me why wouldn't they want to make me the center of their world.

It took time, but I realized that it was very unfair of me to think that. He has work, friend, family, and a life over there that he has to lead. Taking care of himself, and taking care of myself for that matter, really needs to be the first priority, other wize there will be nothing for me to go over to.

As I think about it now, even if he were a half hour drive away insted of an 8 hour flight, I don't think I'd be there everynight. It would deffinitly be easier to talk to him when I wanted to, and visit, but realistically I don't think face to face contact would happen as much as I'd like to think it would.

This doesn't mean that he cares for me any less, or I him. Just that we both realize that life goes on, and we have to function. As much as I wish I could spend every second of every day with him, that's just not possible, and LDR has little to do with it.

Besides, I think he'd get annoyed with me, and I'd be corrected a lot more if we spent that much time together.

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It sounds like you have changed a lot over your time.

I have too. When I was insecure in the relationship with my first husband I wanted ALL of his time. That's kind of funny isn't it, cause it wasn't good time at all.

At the beginning of this relationship I wanted MOST of his time. I was still plenty insecure. I don't know how he put up with it. I'm grateful he has allowed me to be that way and still supportive of me so I could grow and learn.

Now we have, IMO, a much stronger relationship with less time together over all. We still spend a great deal of time together (the majority in fact) but we are happier in our time together now. We each get more of what we want.

Sprinkles22 said:

Hi Everyone! I've been reading the posts for a few days now and following the ways everyone communicates. Once again, what a perfect example of how each relationship is unique. What works for couple *A* doesn't work for couple *B*, but it doesn't mean that anyone is wrong. Whether life is vanilla or BDSM, each relationship is different.

Raven and I have days where we spend hours and hours with each other during the day, simply because we're both working at our desks. Then we have other days where we barely manage a *hello* for each other. As time has passed I've become more confident and able to manage those days better than I did in the beginning.

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Exactly. Thank you.

That's all I've been trying to say.

Well, that and my own feelings about how much time we all have and how I feel or would feel about certain amounts of time.

I'd personally like TONS more time in my schedule and hell, the schedule of everyone I know could use some time but this is not the way life tends to be. LOL.

Exogenous said:

I am in awe of LDRs that end up working out, such as the one between Catalina and Francisco, full of love and commitment.

I was in a LDR for three years. It seemed we fit so perfectly, mentally, emotionally, and physically; all of it, the ups and the downs. I could not have asked for more. My Dom and I visited each other as often as we could. His last visit to my home was to help me strip wall paper and paint to get my house ready to sell, with the explicit motive of me moving to his home and spend the rest of our lives together. That last visit was in October 2005. Then, out of the blue, in March 2006 he called me to break off our relationship. He supposedly met someone else and said it wasn’t fair to anyone to continue our relationship.

Just two weeks prior to this revelation, we were looking online (during our nightly phone calls) at flight schedules for me to visit him and we spoke of putting my house up for sale, what I wanted to keep and bring with me, etc. Talk about being blown away. I honestly don’t have a clue as to why he did a 180.

Kudos to anyone who can survive a LDR and make it work and eventually join in one home, together. My faith in LDRs has been badly shaken. I have actively looked for someone closer to where I live, as well as in the same city, but it seems like slim picken’s, LOL. I have no problem with relocating at all. However, I am very leary of LDRs, now, which limits my choices. Life sure is frustrating, at times. Yet, reading of LDRs such as C and F, or MP and rose, it’s nice to know there is some hope out there! Thank you for keeping the candle lit.

I wish you all the best with J, the captains wench!

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Wow, that's a horrible surprise. I'm so sorry.

*HUGS and HUGS*

I wish I could do more. Like shake some answers out of him for you.

Fury

MasterPhoenix said:

being in a LDR is a bitch. there is no way to soft soap it, nor rose coloured tint to add to it.

The fact that rose and I are in near constant communication is the one thing that keeps us going, though the hard times and the good times.

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That is one of the most important aspects, communication. The thing is, we emailed several times a day as well as spoke on the phone, every single night.

When I asked him why he was breaking of our relationship his answer was..."I guess it was just the miles." Ok...that's a difficult factor to overcome yet we had actually started the planning stages of the move. So, I think that was a lame excuse. I have come to believe there were some other issues that he did not let on...sadly, it seems our communication was less open and honest than I belived it to be.

You are absolutely correct, rose, things do happen for a reason. It just comes down to having the patience to accept that and live life one day at a time. I do keep the faith that my true one and only will come along, whether it's near my current home or (relunctantly) far away.

I got burnt bad by one before I met rose... so don't lose faith.

FurryFury said:

Wow, that's a horrible surprise. I'm so sorry.

*HUGS and HUGS*

I wish I could do more. Like shake some answers out of him for you.

Fury

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LOL, me too! Would you like his number? just kidding. I'm coming up on the "one year anniversary" of his haivng disolved our relationship and just feeling blue. He really does have wonderful qualities and charactersitcs that I'd like in a man, Dom or otherwise. Just a shame (for me) he chickened out, so to speak.

You win some, you lose some. Hang on to the good memories and lessons learned of the wins and cut your loses. Right?

MasterPhoenix said:

being in a LDR is a bitch. there is no way to soft soap it, nor rose coloured tint to add to it.

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exactly!

im in a bit off a blah mood and missing A bad right now

i did it...i took an easy way out by emailing Him, telling Him that there was something i would like to discuss and to please ask me...we did and i was reminded He can't fix things unless he knows...now, however i am left with more questions, worries and what ifs than before...trying to accept something that maybe i shouldn't even try to *sighs*

suddenly MP's idea of a blog or a journal sounds tempting

I created one...put things into reality. Thank you MP.

Post Weekend Depression

Hello all,

I just got back from a weekend with pet and of course I am now depressed and feeling lonely. We had a wonderful time together in and out of the bedroom (yes we left the hotel room for a few hours!)

I missed a lot of conversation on here and I don't have the energy to catch up right now, maybe later.

I hope you are all doing well.
SD

myinnerslut said:

exactly!

im in a bit off a blah mood and missing A bad right now

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Hey we are on the same train. *passes the bottle of whiskey*

FurryFury said:

It sounds like you have changed a lot over your time.

I have too. When I was insecure in the relationship with my first husband I wanted ALL of his time. That's kind of funny isn't it, cause it wasn't good time at all.

At the beginning of this relationship I wanted MOST of his time. I was still plenty insecure. I don't know how he put up with it. I'm grateful he has allowed me to be that way and still supportive of me so I could grow and learn.

Now we have, IMO, a much stronger relationship with less time together over all. We still spend a great deal of time together (the majority in fact) but we are happier in our time together now. We each get more of what we want.

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I think that's it exactly. I was very gunshy when I met Jounar. The last year I was married I did everything to keep my husband in my sight because I sinced he was loosing interest. I wanted to spend all of my time with him so that no one else could. Of course this just caused more problems.

So when Jounar came along, and I found myslef falling for him it was even more difficult. Not only could I not know what he was doing every second of the day, but I didn't know when I'd be able to physically be with him or even chat with him most of the time. It took a lot of trust in him, and in us for me to get over the feelings that he was more than likely with another there and playing with me when he had a free moment. I was very insecure and it nearly tore us apart a few times.

But I love him, and I've grown to trust him more than I have anyone in my life. And our time is more special now, I think, because I'm not spending the moments we are not chatting thinking about him messing with some other girl. I can focus on him and on us, rather than my own insucurities and unfounded suspicions.