Should I tell her everything?

Tell her at your own risk. She will use it against you if/when she feels the need to. She will definitely tell her close friends and her hairdresser...who tell all her clients. You will soon be the hot gossip topic in the whole town.

It's a nice impulse on your part, to come clean and be completely honest. But there's no point or advantage for you. It will back fire.

It happened to me. I was bisexual when my ex and I were dating. I told her I was bi, and she was OK with that. But she didn't keep it secret as I expected. She told her friends and my parents.
 
For me, the striking thing about this statement is where you box your wife in as vanilla! How can you make that assumption when you clearly don’t open up to her.
Who knows, give her the truth, she may surprise you. You could be living with a repressed woman who’s doing her best to be what she thinks you want her to be.
Tell her who you really are and let her decide rather than being secretive.

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! My wife and I are open about everything. That includes sex and all other aspects of our marriage. You will be blown away by how good it feels and you may open a door allowing her to express hidden desires that she has bottled away. You will also find that the arguments go bye bye when you are open about everything. You have to be totally nonjudgemental about what your partner says as you are expecting the same. Just because that straw stirs their drink, it may not work for you. But ideas are to be shared.
 
Absolutely you should. I have told my husband everything about my past and answered any questions he ever asked me (which led to some very wild times). I too, have questioned him and find it very erotic to hear what he has done previously and what his fantasies and inner desires are.
 
Absolutely you should. I have told my husband everything about my past and answered any questions he ever asked me (which led to some very wild times). I too, have questioned him and find it very erotic to hear what he has done previously and what his fantasies and inner desires are.

Hearing about your partner's adventures can lead to some very steamy and erotic times ;)
 
How did she react?

She told me not to expect her to fuck me in the ass, but she doesn't mind if I eat her out after sex. It doesn't turn her on more that I'm eating my cum out of her. Judging by most of the responses and knowing my wife I most likely will not tell her.
 
Absolutely you should. I have told my husband everything about my past and answered any questions he ever asked me (which led to some very wild times). I too, have questioned him and find it very erotic to hear what he has done previously and what his fantasies and inner desires are.

What was it you told him ??????
 
She told me not to expect her to fuck me in the ass, but she doesn't mind if I eat her out after sex. It doesn't turn her on more that I'm eating my cum out of her. Judging by most of the responses and knowing my wife I most likely will not tell her.

If you can live with this being only urges you will never live out, then you should keep it quiet. If you think these fantasies are taking over almost every sexual thought and you need to explore, perhaps you should share it.
 
If you can live with this being only urges you will never live out, then you should keep it quiet. If you think these fantasies are taking over almost every sexual thought and you need to explore, perhaps you should share it.

Good advice!! At this moment I will be keeping g it to myself. But if the urges get stronger I'll think about your advice.
 
yes, you need to tell her and she needs to know

"Plus I have never told anyone I personally know that I'm bisexual, which bothers me sometimes."

As the wife of a man who came out to me at the age of 47, there will come a time when not being able to be your true self with your wife will bother you.

Start by telling her that you aren't looking to change your relationship, but that you want to be able to share the complete truth about who you are with her.

Take a look at Alternatepaths.net for more info on mixed orientation marriages.
Try HOW - Husbands out to Wives - a yahoo group.
Your wife may need some support - have her try the yahoo group alternate paths.

Hope this helps -
Roxanne
 
FWIW, my question back to you is what do you have to gain by her knowing? What’s do you expect her to do with that information? Change in any way? If it’s just so she knows and is aware that doesn’t seem a good use of a conversation.
 
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