True Sadism...

"Sadists enjoy others suffering a lot."

Yup, I honestly do think that sums it up.

Oftentimes Master can tell when I'm right on the edge of 'too much.' That's when he'll grab my hair, pull my head back, and whisper "take the last five for me....good girl."

I think he likes my tears more than my orgasms.
 
"Sadists enjoy others suffering a lot."

Yup, I honestly do think that sums it up.

Oftentimes Master can tell when I'm right on the edge of 'too much.' That's when he'll grab my hair, pull my head back, and whisper "take the last five for me....good girl."

I think he likes my tears more than my orgasms.

Mmmmm....I think he might be my brother from another mother.
 
"Sadists enjoy others suffering a lot."

Yup, I honestly do think that sums it up.

Oftentimes Master can tell when I'm right on the edge of 'too much.' That's when he'll grab my hair, pull my head back, and whisper "take the last five for me....good girl."

I think he likes my tears more than my orgasms.

Hmm..i don't think i've ever been with a true full blown sadist.
But i think there are also full bore
masochists who need the tears of that final five for orgasm, or something similar to orgasm that i don't fully understand.
I like cerebral control and domination with the spice of pain and punishment being merely tools in the box.
Seems that to some degree, we all perhaps have either some of one or the other (s/m tendencies) even in a vanilla life, though perhaps not manifested physically.
No one is perfectly balanced, or perfectly understood.
 
I've seen too many people complain that they can't find a dominant that doesn't want to beat them to think that sadism is somehow hard to find. Though I think that happens because a lot of people think they can't be kinky if they aren't into giving or receiving pain.

Whether someone is a "true" sadist, I have no idea (and I'm not going to question their inner workings).

In my memory here, we've had two regulars who claimed sadist as their primary identification. One was a woman but I can't recall her name. She stopped posting around 5 or 6 years ago. The other was Sir Winston. My guess is that he would have had some very interesting things to say in this thread.
 
In my memory here, we've had two regulars who claimed sadist as their primary identification. One was a woman but I can't recall her name. She stopped posting around 5 or 6 years ago. The other was Sir Winston. My guess is that he would have had some very interesting things to say in this thread.

It's difficult to imagine someone as nice as Sir Winston being a sadist. :rose: I didn't get to interact with him much, but I think he was always nice at those times.
 
It's difficult to imagine someone as nice as Sir Winston being a sadist. :rose: I didn't get to interact with him much, but I think he was always nice at those times.

I took him at his word and he always called himself a sadist with dominant tendencies.
 
definition

1. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on causing pain or degradation to others.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty

It turns out that I am something of a pain slut...much to my surprise...but in moderation and mixed to create a sensation of pain/pleasure...
For me when I call someone a sadist colloquially, I am thinking of someone administering pain or humiliation beyond that which I feel like I have "signed up" for. Simply because they are being cruel, and for cruelty's sake - not because it is for both of us and a way of enhancing our sexual experience.

on the other hand - I want my Dom to feel excited when he spanks me, or gives me other pain that contributes to my excitement...does that make him a sadist? I am uncertain. I find that this excitement is more of a feedback loop that a true sadism/masochism dyad. But that is just what it feels like to me...
 
1. there's no direct sensual reward to the sadist. No really, there isn't. You can argue... But. No.

2. Sadists have (perhaps deservedly) a terrible reputation. Not something anyone wants to share about themselves even if true, nor a label they want to take on.

I think those are two key points.
 
1. there's no direct sensual reward to the sadist. No really, there isn't. You can argue... But. No.

2. Sadists have (perhaps deservedly) a terrible reputation. Not something anyone wants to share about themselves even if true, nor a label they want to take on.

I think those are two key points.

I am very confused by point one. How do you define reward? Perhaps you'll need to define sadist for yourself, because I wonder if we are using different definitions.

In a kink/BDSM context, they don't have a terrible reputation from what I've seen.
 
I took him at his word and he always called himself a sadist with dominant tendencies.

I knew him IRL, and what I knew about him seemed to line up with that 100%. (He taught me how to light people on fire for fun!)

He was a phenomenally nice man, though.

*Sigh* I miss him.

/threadjack
 
1. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on causing pain or degradation to others.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty

It turns out that I am something of a pain slut...much to my surprise...but in moderation and mixed to create a sensation of pain/pleasure...
For me when I call someone a sadist colloquially, I am thinking of someone administering pain or humiliation beyond that which I feel like I have "signed up" for. Simply because they are being cruel, and for cruelty's sake - not because it is for both of us and a way of enhancing our sexual experience.

on the other hand - I want my Dom to feel excited when he spanks me, or gives me other pain that contributes to my excitement...does that make him a sadist? I am uncertain. I find that this excitement is more of a feedback loop that a true sadism/masochism dyad. But that is just what it feels like to me...
I think the bolded sentences are great descriptions of two different motivations for what may look the same from the outside.
You kind of got the definition problem in a nutshell here, in my opinion.
 
I knew him IRL, and what I knew about him seemed to line up with that 100%. (He taught me how to light people on fire for fun!)

He was a phenomenally nice man, though.

*Sigh* I miss him.

/threadjack

You're lucky to have known him. I miss him too, even though I never met him in person.

To quote from his Fet profile, his definition of his sadism:
That's essentially what I am: A sadist. I like to create/provide/give pain to willing female partners.
What else is there to be a sadist, really? An ethical one, of course. You could say a "true" sadist will give pain to anyone whether they like it or not, but come on, that's not kink. That's torture. Sadist as we use the term, as we discuss That Thing We Do, means exactly what he said. Enjoying giving pain to willing partners.
 
You're lucky to have known him. I miss him too, even though I never met him in person.

To quote from his Fet profile, his definition of his sadism:

What else is there to be a sadist, really? An ethical one, of course. You could say a "true" sadist will give pain to anyone whether they like it or not, but come on, that's not kink. That's torture. Sadist as we use the term, as we discuss That Thing We Do, means exactly what he said. Enjoying giving pain to willing partners.

THIS is the answer. If we are not ethical in our relations with each other, we are nothing.
 
"Sadists enjoy others suffering a lot."

Yup, I honestly do think that sums it up.

Oftentimes Master can tell when I'm right on the edge of 'too much.' That's when he'll grab my hair, pull my head back, and whisper "take the last five for me....good girl."

I think he likes my tears more than my orgasms.


*quietly swoons*
 
THIS is the answer. If we are not ethical in our relations with each other, we are nothing.

Exactly.
Sadism in BDSM terms has nothing at all to do with the pathology of pure sadism which exists outside of that realm.
A pathological sadist is not someone who I want to hand over control of my body to. A sensual sadist who will give me the pain I need/crave, who will use my body as a canvas for their own fulfillment and still remain in control of their own motivations is.
 
Well now we seem to be making a distinction between TRUE SADISM (the thread title) and pseudo sadism for the express purpose of bdsm.
It seems to me, a true sadist by definition, would have to at the very least, skate the edges of sociopathism, with no concern for, or even enjoyment from, the other's unwillingness.
From what i've read here, Sir
Winston does not seem a true sadist to me, but a Dom who has taken the label and changed the definition, perhaps for the sake of hyperbole~to make the bass look bigger in the picture he shows his friends.
I have no quarrel with the conclusion that a sensual bdsm sadist is far different than a true sadist.
Just be careful of the blurred line.
You can put a BMW emblem on a Ford, but it'll still be a Focus.
 
Well now we seem to be making a distinction between TRUE SADISM (the thread title) and pseudo sadism for the express purpose of bdsm.
It seems to me, a true sadist by definition, would have to at the very least, skate the edges of sociopathism, with no concern for, or even enjoyment from, the other's unwillingness.
From what i've read here, Sir
Winston does not seem a true sadist to me, but a Dom who has taken the label and changed the definition, perhaps for the sake of hyperbole~to make the bass look bigger in the picture he shows his friends.
I have no quarrel with the conclusion that a sensual bdsm sadist is far different than a true sadist.
Just be careful of the blurred line.
You can put a BMW emblem on a Ford, but it'll still be a Focus.

Fuck that. No. This is bullshit.

You want to talk about actual mental disorders, actual pathologies, fine. That's not what this board is about. This board is about BDSM. You don't get to glorify a fucking mental illness over kink practices. The word "true" is being used completely within the context of BDSM.
 
THIS is the answer. If we are not ethical in our relations with each other, we are nothing.

written on a porn board, where plenty of the people are cheating one way or the other on their significant other, this statement does amuse me.


If there is something devoid of ethics^1 in the life of humans, then it's sex.


^1 as in: Where people do what is wrong, despite knowing that it is wrong.
 
Fuck that. No. This is bullshit.

You want to talk about actual mental disorders, actual pathologies, fine. That's not what this board is about. This board is about BDSM. You don't get to glorify a fucking mental illness over kink practices. The word "true" is being used completely within the context of BDSM.

I have to say, I think it's a good idea to discuss both here.
And I dont really think that post was meant to glorify, despite the car reference at the end.
 
The notion that a sadist can only enjoy dealing pain to a willing partner is about as naive as the notion that a husband can only enjoy receiving a blowjob from his wife.
 
I have to say, I think it's a good idea to discuss both here.
And I dont really think that post was meant to glorify, despite the car reference at the end.

I think the comment about the size of the bass was, and the suggestion that people who identify as sadists in BDSM are just dominants trying to show off.
 
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