Kicking Around Shakespeare

WolfLarsen

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Nov 20, 2005
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Canto 4
by Wolf Larsen
Ugly loveliness, why do you collapse like a hungry angry moon?
Upon peanut-butter-classical-music?
While Nature's tornado songs bequest you thousands of talking door knobs,
And being frop she dops to those who are freeping!
Oh beauteous marijuana clouds, why does the ceiling masturbate fireflies?
And who gave god this booteous largass?
And you poo-pooless blue monkeys of flap-zing, why dong thou booty-boo?
So great a traffic light of suns, yet canned tomatoes live?
For having traffic lights with dildos galore!
And canned carrots of Jesus Christ goes thy sweet pussy-bread-dough.
Then well-Hong, when nature calls its uppitY-uppity-up!
So what acceptable politician-whores could cause the cities to leave?
When thy beer-belly-music must be executed with magical fireflies!
Which, bazooka!, with your uZi-buttoCks-viBratOr, the executor to be when?
Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen


Sonnet IV
by William Shakespeare
Unthrifty loveliness, why dost thou spend
Upon thyself thy beauty's legacy?
Nature's bequest gives nothing but doth lend,
And being frank she lends to those are free.
Then, beauteous niggard, why dost thou abuse 5
The bounteous largess given thee to give?
Profitless usurer, why dost thou use
So great a sum of sums, yet canst not live?
For having traffic with thyself alone,
Thou of thyself thy sweet self dost deceive. 10
Then how, when nature calls thee to be gone,
What acceptable audit canst thou leave?
Thy unused beauty must be tomb'd with thee,
Which, used, lives th' executor to be. 14
 
This is interesting. Thank you.

*picks up coat and turns*

*turns back*

Welcome to the Poetry Forum.

*whispers to the peanut gallery, over her shoulder, headed for the heavily draperied exit*

See? I can be nice.
 
*Harry blinks, then reads for a moment*
--Did you see the perversion shift in line 8?
"Quiet, Oldman, I'm making notes."
 
*imagines Will putting on tights while chanting "I love booty boos and I cannot lie . . . *
 
It's sort of like some freaky blender experiment where a sonnet was put into veryfastmixingdevice with a porno backtrack along with an episode of South Park. Liquidize for 5 minutes and voila!
 
It's sort of like some freaky blender experiment where a sonnet was put into veryfastmixingdevice with a porno backtrack along with an episode of South Park. Liquidize for 5 minutes and voila!

Porno shake! (not a smoothie) ..;)
 
I like the idea of a porno mashup. Some very interesting things could happen there.

This particular piece I liked the sound of, but don't think I really "got".
 
This particular piece I liked the sound of, but don't think I really "got".
..
Yeah, the thread title is a real grabber. I think the OP was alluding to making fun of the Bard. (Lord knows he's been revered enough) My favorite laugh was when a comic was impersonating John Wayne while reciting 'Is this a dagger I see before me Waa aa aa'
 
Thank you everyone

Thank you all! I liked your comments!

Pandora Glitters comment was unforgettable:

It's sort of like some freaky blender experiment where a sonnet was put into veryfastmixingdevice with a porno backtrack along with an episode of South Park. Liquidize for 5 minutes and voila!
 
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