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The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

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You'd think that with three nights in Paris, of all places, I'd get laid at least once. But no, Mama got a nasty skin infection and I came down with a cold. Crap!
 
Put me in for the last 24 hours.. but tonight should reveal a change of fortune (I hope!!)


I just looked, didn't realize I was still in the top 5 posters in this thread :p
 
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I have a truly fabulous girlfriend -- so fabulous that in addition to her full-time job, she runs a couple of organizations, takes several classes, has eighty zillion friends plus a boyfriend -- so I'm lucky if I get to see her once every six weeks. *sigh*

Note to self: Next time, choose a girlfriend with more time and less fabulousness! :)
 
Even though I haven't gotten laid since November, I have been preparing. I have been strengthening my abs and back muscles for the rare occasion that I might have sex again. I don't want a repeat of last time where I couldn't hold myself up I was so weak in my midsection.
 
TheeGoatPig said:
Even though I haven't gotten laid since November, I have been preparing. I have been strengthening my abs and back muscles for the rare occasion that I might have sex again. I don't want a repeat of last time where I couldn't hold myself up I was so weak in my midsection.
Click to expand...

That's when you tell her it's her turn to be on top ;)
 
the sitcom "Friends" said:
Monica: Pheebs, you know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, okay! How... it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: ...No, although NOW that's what I'm thinking.
Click to expand...

9,000-or-so days and counting. (Frankly, I'm slightly tempted to hold out for three more years and make it the round dozen.)
 
I just got off the phone with my contractor. He says I can fit a 3 bedroom ranch in my space, although I'll never need more than one bedroom I guess.

Hopeful wishing on my part :p
 
tolyk said:
That's when you tell her it's her turn to be on top ;)
Click to expand...

That was where we started. After a few minutes of that she said, "Your turn to be on top," and so I climbed on top, completely unaware of just how pitiful I was going to be. After a few failed strokes I tried to reposition her to doggy, but my erection was practically gone by that point, so I pretty much gave up at that point...

I'm so ashamed of myself :(
 
Not in the past two months or so. Sigh, sooner or later I'm just going to have to stop having standards. Can't keep things the way they are now, LOL.
 
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