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Old 01-02-2013, 09:35 PM   #1
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Old 01-02-2013, 10:46 PM   #2
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Is this one of those fantasies that's best left until you really know a person and can gauge what her reaction will be?
Seems to me you pretty well answered your own questions with that last one, sport. Yes, bears shit in the woods.

But here are my experiences with trans women and transgendered people in general. I know quite a few and have had sex with a very few--three to be exact about it

Some trans women like being the object of your fetish, some hate it so much that they hate you for having it. (So make sure you know the woman before you get creepy on her.)

Some women are so desperately concious of being women in the wrong body, that the fact they have the wrong parts is a serious and deeply unhappy problem for them. The very last thing a woman like that would EVER want is a reminder that she has a penis. (So make sure you find that out before you ask to see her pink bits.) (and most trans women are pre-op because the damn operation costs so much, and we all need to pay rent and buy food first.)

Some women are more comfortable with an inbetween state. And plenty of them have figured out that there is money to be made, a big market for "shemale" prostitutes. A little viagra and that thing pops up no matter how much estrogen hormone they've taken. (But make sure she's willing to take your money before you offer it.)

And not all trans women are bisexual. Some are completely straight-- hetero women, who wouldn't want to share you with the other lady. Some are lesbians who wouldn't want to share her with you. Some trans women are afraid that you'll compare them with the cis woman ("cis" means "Not trans")

I am sorry if all of this seems harsh. And I am sure that the right combination of people would be an incredible experience. But when you are dealing with two women, znd one of them wants to be more woman than anything-- you will have to offer a lot of your self. Your heart, even if it's only for that one night. Respect. Comfort. Pleasure.
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:03 PM   #3
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:48 PM   #4
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Hey, that's why I asked :-) I'm in that mostly-straight-but-definitely-sexually-attracted-to-men realm that doesn't always get a lot of love from the LGBT world, and I've learned enough over the years to know how easy it is to hurt feelings and make an ass of yourself...if the opportunity ever arises, I'll be sure to keep your wisdom in mind.


May you thus go far and fare well, Grasshopper.

(BTW, the cool new label you can attach to yourself is "heteroflexible." A lot of people see that as less insulting, and even kinda appealing, like maybe they can get you flexing...)
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:58 PM   #5
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Stella hit the nail on the head, it depends. A lot of t girls, if they are into men sexually, want to be with a man as a woman and don't want to be reminded of their 'different status' (pre op t gals have a variety of feelings about their current genitals, from absolutely hating them to being neutral to okay with it as a pleasure center but they don't see it the way a man would).

There are folks who are happy being non op, who are happy with being a gal with a penis, bit they are relatively rare IME.

Then, of course, there are the sex workers Stella is talking about, whether in porn or as escorts, who pop viagra or go out of their way not to affect male 'performance', so called 'shemales' or whatever, but that is mostly a fantasy image.

I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:37 PM   #6
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:04 PM   #7
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Thanks for your insight...I understand it's a very fraught subject. Maybe I should aim my fantasy more towards CDs/ladyboy types, where the gender bending is kind of the point?
I think it's a good idea

People who are playing with bending the gender might also be more playful sexually.

"Ladyboy" is not a common term in western culture, I don't think-- look for "femboy" perhaps.

In fact, take a look at the femboy thread here. It's almost always on the front page!
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:18 PM   #8
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I think it's a good idea

People who are playing with bending the gender might also be more playful sexually.

"Ladyboy" is not a common term in western culture, I don't think-- look for "femboy" perhaps.

In fact, take a look at the femboy thread here. It's almost always on the front page!
Yep - they're where the action is Have fun

...thanks Stella & Lauren
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:48 PM   #9
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I'm glad i ran into this thread, i've been interested in TG girls for awhile. And you folks have given me alot of insight into things. ill admit i sorta feel ashamed that i had to a point seen TG in a purely sexual way and almost forgot about the person that they are.

would love to meet someone like that in person be an interesting experience for me.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:21 AM   #10
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Wise words, Stella & njlauren. Thanks.
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:18 PM   #11
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I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....
That was interesting. I certainly understand the thing about being treated as a real person. In anyway, it's not really an issue for me, as I live in Norway which is not a shemale paradise. There was a transsexual woman who kissed me out of the blue (and I liked that) but I think she was post op. In any case, she left right after that. And back in the day when I had a hetero identity a transsexual woman came on to me in a most overwhealming fashion. I thought she was a regular girl, but a friend of mine knew otherwise but didn't say anything. Incidentally, I had a girlfriend, or otherwise I'd probably taken her home.

I guess, for many guys shemales are a dream so when they finally meet a transsexual woman all they can think about is sex. Maybe, if this wasn't such a taboo, then transsexuals could be more open about it and guys would be more casual about it.

But anyway, this is not going to happen to me. I'd probably have to go to Amsterdam or something and I'm not exactly leaving my girlfriend for that.
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Old 01-05-2013, 12:45 PM   #12
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Thanks Tore and you're right, there is too much taboo regarding transgendered people and I absolutely wish that men would be more casual about it - and women too. The problem is that the mental picture, the fantasy, simply doesn't fit the reality, apart from a dozen or so supermodel TGs who are manufactured to meet the fantasy demand. The reality is that many trans women are actually quite conservative in the same ways as most cis-women.

The problem for a lot of men is how they are regarded if it becomes known they have a trans girlfriend. Their friends and family can react badly toward them… the ripples spread outward huh? At the centre is her, then her family, her friends, then her boyfriend, then his friends, his employers… So yes, society needs to lose its tribal fear, or whatever it is that fuels those phobias. A trans friend of mine has been fed the classic line "I'd like you to be my girlfriend but, err, can we keep it as our secret?" and if you really fancy a guy that comes like a punch in the stomach. All this hurt for what??! Because other people have a problem with someone else's love life?! WTF?!

That kind of thing makes me really angry but what does that anger serve? It doesn't help to jump up and down and scream because that changes nothing and you are just ridiculed. Educating the yahoos is a slow process and requires endless patience but I think people's perceptions are changing. I spend more time these days on Tumblr because they're my own age group and they are much more open minded to sexuality and gender. I like the humour and chats here though

I'm sure you are a good person Tore but please keep putting the person first and let the sex be an expression of the love. Don't even think about leaving your girlfriend to try 'that' in Amsterdam...
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Old 01-05-2013, 02:49 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by njlauren View Post
Stella hit the nail on the head, it depends. A lot of t girls, if they are into men sexually, want to be with a man as a woman and don't want to be reminded of their 'different status' (pre op t gals have a variety of feelings about their current genitals, from absolutely hating them to being neutral to okay with it as a pleasure center but they don't see it the way a man would).

There are folks who are happy being non op, who are happy with being a gal with a penis, bit they are relatively rare IME.

Then, of course, there are the sex workers Stella is talking about, whether in porn or as escorts, who pop viagra or go out of their way not to affect male 'performance', so called 'shemales' or whatever, but that is mostly a fantasy image.

I have to tell you from personal experience that it really was a turn off to be treated as a fetish rather then as a person, because of porn a lot of guys assumed t gals were these sex crazed creatures who wanted to fuck and get fucked 24/7, and that is because of the images in magazines and videos. Guys would meet t gals in clubs and such, and would start of talking, not by asking names, how we were doing, if we wanted a drink, but rather 'how big is your dick', or would assume we were just dying to drop to out knees and suck them off.......

There is nothing wrong with having a threesome with a t gal with another woman, any more than there is with having a 'regular' mff threesome, but instead of treating her as a fetish object, try treating her as a woman you find sexy, get to know her, talk to her, etc......rather than as a living embodiment of a fetish. I am not trying to be snarky, simply relaying how crappy it can be to be a t gal, a lot of the guys are freaked out that if they are attracted to you they must be gay *gasp* and the ones who are attracted are more interested in the dongle between the legs then the person between the ears....in other words, they are attracted to you not as a person, but as a mythical "chick with a dick', who you are is meaningless, which sucks....
yesssssssssssssssss - so well said!
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:00 PM   #14
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:40 AM   #15
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preopt

Nice, I love this
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:23 PM   #16
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It's a bit of a tangent, but how do you make the distinction between sexual orientation and fetish anyway? There are plenty of bisexual folks who say they feel romantic as well as sexual either about men or about women, but mostly just sexual about the other. That seems pretty well accepted. A man can come over here and post that he really wants to try being with another man, which he has fantasized about for ages, but he loves his wife and feels conflicted. Nobody says that he might be thinking about the potential "other man" the wrong way. But how is it different if he is fascinated by people who are biologically male but seem mostly female?

I do know what it's like to feel like people are treating me as a fetish object, rather than a person, though, and I can't say that I cared for it much. Back when I made a point of hanging around with a bunch people who were into BDSM, I was open about being sadistic and somewhat dominant. A lot of guys who were looking for that sort of woman pounced like crazed Christmas shoppers on the last Tickle-Me-Elmo. All the attention just made me feel drained. It wasn't even flattering because I could've been an illiterate murderous nazi with a snot obsession for all they knew - they hit on me before taking the time to find out.

But I realize that people often try to pick up other people before getting to know them very well, and people almost always find certain categories of people more appealing than others. I certainly do. So what's the big deal? It didn't bother me when some guy on the bus asked me out because he thought I had a pretty smile, and he had no way of knowing that I wasn't an illiterate murderous nazi with a snot obsession, either. (And chances are if he knew what I was thinking to make me smile like that, he'd have taken a seat on the other side of the aisle.)
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Old 01-12-2013, 02:17 PM   #17
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Cool Person First, Fetish Second

Hi, just my personal take on this as a non-op trans woman myself.

I would say you should think of it like any other fetish you might have for a woman. Like, imagine that You were really into huge breasts -- I think most women would love being told that the had beautiful breasts from somebody that cared about them, but most women probably wouldn't want to be with a guy who only wanted her FOR her breasts, you know? Obviously, some people are into that -- and trans people are just like everyone else; we have a wide variety of sexual turn-ons so you can't make a blanket statement about what we do or don't like.

Personally I am a romantic and don't really do hook-ups, so take this for what it's worth, but I think if a man said to me "You are beautiful and I would want you no matter what your genitals looked like ... but actually they really turn me on!" that would be awesome, but if a man said to me "You look like you have genitals that I would like, so let's fuck!" I would think he was a creep.

Honestly, I don't think you should handle it that differently for trans women than for any other woman. If you are only into a woman for her private parts, many will take offense to that, a smaller number will be into it.

As for specific sexual acts or whether or not this would be appreciated coming from a man vs a woman, trans people have just as diverse an array of sexual preferences as everyone else.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:40 PM   #18
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Personally I am a romantic and don't really do hook-ups, so take this for what it's worth, but I think if a man said to me "You are beautiful and I would want you no matter what your genitals looked like ... but actually they really turn me on!" that would be awesome, but if a man said to me "You look like you have genitals that I would like, so let's fuck!" I would think he was a creep.
I love the female form, no matter the genitalia.
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Old 01-12-2013, 06:38 PM   #19
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What is between your legs really doesn't identify who you are. I am attracted to how the person carries them self, M, F, or TG. The equipment does provide pleasure, however, the inner person is what provides the emotion that makes the equipment work at its optimum.
But there is a lot to be said to just enjoying pleasure sometimes too.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:48 AM   #20
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I'm a bi guy and I definitely have a "thing" for "chicks with dicks" - probably my hottest unfulfilled (probably never to be fulfilled, since the odds of it happening are so slim...) fantasy at this point would be a threesome with a pre-op t-girl and another woman...kissing the t-girl while fucking the woman...watching the two of them together...huge turn on for me. My question, though, is how m2f transgendered folks feel about this - if you're a woman, are you bothered by guys being turned on by your in-between state? Does it vary from person to person? Is this one of those fantasies that's best left until you really know a person and can gauge what her reaction will be? Anyone have experiences with this?
personally i love it when a man admires me and tries to flirt with me ,it makes me proud and happy to know someone fancies me .
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:55 PM   #21
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I am assuming that you are talking about a scenario where the M2F transsexual and the Gender Girl are having sex while you watch, and then you have sex with each of them while they make-out with each other or with you.

Without doing any scientific data sampling, off the top of my head I'd guess there are plenty of crossdressers who would be interested in the type of hookup you describe.

However, based on your use of the phrase "chicks with dicks," which is considered to be a rather nasty insult by most M2F transsexuals, I am guessing that you are envisioning an experience with a Shemale type who would look something like Pamela Sue Anderson with a penis. Unless you live in a major metropolitan center, have a credit card with a $100K limit, and/or are movie star handsome with a great physique, you are NOT going to meet someone like that who is an amateur. A 2000 square foot or larger apartment with a view would help, too.

If you're middle-aged, short, slightly dumpy build, not too good looking, and drive a five year old Ford, it's highly probably that the M2F crossdressers you're going to find who want to hook up with you are pretty much going to resemble yourself except wearing lingerie and (maybe) shaved legs and chest. And, you'd better be able to provide the gender girl yourself.

If you want to indulge your fantasy, go to the internet, look up Transsexual Escorts, and hire a professional girl. As someone (Stella?) mentioned, Viagra does wonders even for people taking female hormones. If you're willing to pay the freight, the Pro will usually be able to supply a good-looking gender girl to be the third in the threesome, too
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:12 PM   #22
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They should feel great about it. Especially since shemales, and gay men are the only two species on earth that actually know what a bisexual man wants, and can actually sexually satisfy him the way a bisexual man need to be satisfied. A natural born women cannot achieve that goal.So,sweet pea, coming from a person who had pig headed views on shemales in the pass there are plenty of shemales that are more than happy to be with a bi guy.And in truth shemales should be the only option for bisexual men since they are so awesome for you guys.They have boobies,a cock, a cute but to fuck, and best of all they cannot get pregnant.
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:34 PM   #23
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