Brining up swinging

Hello,

I am curious about swinging but don't know how to bring it up to my boyfriend of 15 years. If you have experience how did it go?

One somewhat seamless (and painless) way to bring up those topics that you're not sure your partner is interested in is to develop a fantasy sharing time...pillow-talk. I would suggest that you not rush it, but feel him out by listening to his fantasies and then bringing in some of yours. Of course, this will usually lead to arousal and ultimately sexual intimacy. Work on this "pillow-talk" time for awhile and eventually you will both grow to trust the other more and more until finally you can spill the truth.

Another way is to share some porn together, if you both into porn. Obviously he will notice your interest by what you choose to watch and how turned on you get by it.

Good luck, honesty and openness usually wins the day

I always do best at 'scary' conversation subjects when cuddling. But I'd bring it up when you aren't having sex or about to, so then the divide between 'I seriously want to discuss this' and 'this is just to get your motor running' is made. A good way of broaching it is 'What do you think of swinging?' and go from there. Dithering around the subject won't get you clear responses, which is what you need.

I took the bull by the horns and we visited a swingers club, where the members acted so bored with each other and pushy about getting us to a motel. Turned the wife totally off. Its less trouble to hire a hooker.

In addition to talking bout fantasies, you can easily create the scenarios you desire through role playing...

Thanks I'll have to think about it.

I (very openly) shared someone's wife for a while and it didn't work out. I have regrets about not including her husband more, and nothing else to say. Just realize that people get married for a reason.

JoanneA said:

I (very openly) shared someone's wife for a while and it didn't work out. I have regrets about not including her husband more, and nothing else to say. Just realize that people get married for a reason.

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Maybe not your fault Joanne
If the spark wasn't there not much that you could do about it
I suppose that it's more than doubly difficult to have a relationship with 2 people than with one.
Particularly if there are conflicting sexual interests.
That's an interesting topic don't you think?

Hubby and I fantasized about it, role played and watched videos. We found out some friends of ours were into swinging (not pushing us into it), and asked if we wanted to go to a respectable swinging club to see what it was like. Nobody there was pushy and the manager showed us around, and lots of people introduced themselves to us too. Not one person overstepped. We didn't swing/swap the first few times there, worked up to letting others touch us,

Not everyone will go for it. Some people can't handle the idea, and there's nothing you can do to convince them. However especially for a man, if you bring it up from the angle of, " Oh it would be so hot to see you with another girl." as a way to bring up the topic, it would probably be best. Every guy can get behind the idea of getting to have guilt free sex with someone else, and if you can convince him of how it would be hot for you from a voyeur angle, maybe he could start to see the other side of the coin