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Old 01-07-2019, 06:00 AM   #1201
newhere2learn
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Update... Or lack of

So I've been absent from Lit for around 6 months. Busy home life, and work. Figured it was time for an update. The basics/stats are as follows;

∆ last kiss - Christmas day
∆ last sex (no orgasm) - September ish
∆ last sex when I got to cum - late August, early September. That was the only one of 2018
∆ other issues; wife had bipolar episode from early December through until current. Meant living apart boxing day until recently.


Future prognosis? Grim.. wife's OBGYN issues are causing her constant grief, her anxiety/depression is also raging. Family life is ok, but our couples intimacy is almost nil. Barring sofa cuddles/leg rubs for her.

Her narcissistic personality is currently raging, so it's "me/I/my".

Two other points of note;

1. I've had a genuine offer of a FWB. I declined. Morals... And logistics. Mainly morals.

2. I've realised that the last 3-5 years of coping with my wife has burnt me out. As such, I've self referred into counseling via the GP.

All of the above has had a massive effect on my libido.
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Old 01-07-2019, 07:18 AM   #1202
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<snip>
I'm sorry for writing this hyper-long post. Our counselor has told each of us to keep a journal, and I guess I just made all of you my guinea pigs. But still, I hope by telling my story it might help someone else in a similar situation cope with the feelings that ripping at them every day. I suppose if anything good can come from what I've gone through it is this. Right or wrong, I have this bit of advice...

Men or women, if you find you have no desire for sex in your relationship do not lay blame on your spouse. Find no fault in yourself either. Simply take the responsibility to do whatever you can to reignite the sexual flames of your relationship. You may even have to "fake it until you make it" as they say... But whatever you do, don't push your loved one into having sex with someone else. That could be devastating.
Don't apologise for the length of your post, I found that just writing these things down helped me - even though no one would read it.

Each couple are different, I have mentioned before a couple I know where he was the one with a very low drive. He gve her permission to have other partners over 20 years ago (though didn't want any details), they have not long celebrated 30 years of marriage and seem to be very much in love still.

I know that neither my wife nor I could have lived with the other one having sex with someone else, and to be honest though I was tempted (and had it very much available) I couldn't do it to my wife.
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Old 01-07-2019, 07:57 AM   #1203
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Trapped

I really appreciate this thread. I can see there are many who are worse off than I am. I am truly sorry for what all these folks (couples, really) are going through. I especially feel for the couples who are dealing with physical or mental illness. I've been there.

As I mentioned in another thread, I got trapped in a way that I think is very common. The early days of my relationship with my gf (later to be my wife) were filled with sex. Even as we left college and began work, whenever we would get together, there was always sex. Then we got married and she told me Day One that she didn't care about sex and it wasn't important to her. Since then, we've perfected the 11 minute quickie, once a week. No oral. Some quick petting, insertion, pumping, done.

(I know this may sound like paradise to those of you who get nothing, but it is far from satisfying for me.)

She doesn't want to talk about the problem, because it's not a problem for her. And the only solution would be divorce. And imagine telling your friends and family and grown kids that you left your wife of thirty-plus because you needed more sex.

Trapped.

BTW, apart from the sex. We have a perfect marriage and a wonderful life. Maybe I shouldn't complain, but I have to get this out and this is the only place I can be honest. Thank you for letting me vent.
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Old 01-07-2019, 08:02 AM   #1204
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Originally Posted by StrongMaster7 View Post
I got trapped in a way that I think is very common. The early days of my relationship with my gf (later to be my wife) were filled with sex. Even as we left college and began work, whenever we would get together, there was always sex. Then we got married and she told me Day One that she didn't care about sex and it wasn't important to her. Since then, we've perfected the 11 minute quickie, once a week. No oral. Some quick petting, insertion, pumping, done.

(I know this may sound like paradise to those of you who get nothing, but it is far from satisfying for me.)

She doesn't want to talk about the problem, because it's not a problem for her. And the only solution would be divorce. And imagine telling your friends and family and grown kids that you left your wife of thirty-plus because you needed more sex.

Trapped.

BTW, apart from the sex. We have a perfect marriage and a wonderful life. Maybe I shouldn't complain, but I have to get this out and this is the only place I can be honest. Thank you for letting me vent.
Barring the duration, I could've written all of that.
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Old 01-14-2019, 10:00 AM   #1205
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UPDATE; my wife and I have been experiencing various issues of late, mostly related to her depression and mood swings. Mild medication and counseling appears to have assisted little. The long and short, being that she can't cope with life.

Up until boxing day, things were ok. However she's now once again entrenched in her rut where everything is someone else's fault. Friday and Saturday it was the dog. Last week work. Saturday night and Sunday my fault.

During one particular bile filled explosion she announced that I'm on a sex ban as she wants a divorce and expected that "since you're a man you'd have an affair and cheat, or leave me for someone else. So it gets rid of you".

Upon further probing questions, appears I am "not the person I was when we met". Which I agree. I've matured, grown up, and calmed down. Meanwhile despite having kids, pets, jobs and a hearty mortgage that's not enough for her. She "needs to feel special"

Querying this it'd seem that entails;

- fetching and carrying after her so she doesn't have to life a finger
- being the sole earner as she doesn't want to work
- providing the bulk of childcare as she finds them "a nightmare and exhausting"
- being fun and doing stuff. By this she meant hotel nights away, dinner, drinks and a new outfit each time.

From history I know that each of those weekends breaks would cost about 1-2 weeks wages.. something we can no longer afford. Due to the mortgage on the house she wanted, and the kids she wanted.

Obviously, all of this is my fault.

The really damning thing was that she's noted my attitude change. I.e. I no longer get upset or angry. I simply reply: "ok. You know where the door is"

Which in turn, infuriates her further.

So, it looks like I'll be in the sex-less club for years either way. Whether as a newly single man, or if I stick by my increasingly difficult wife.

She may thaw, but I'm not holding my breath.
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Old 01-14-2019, 12:38 PM   #1206
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However she's now once again entrenched in her rut where everything is someone else's fault. Friday and Saturday it was the dog. Last week work. Saturday night and Sunday my fault.
.
I sympathise as a few years ago I could have written a very similar post about my (now) ex wife. Everything was someone else's fault, people were deliberately trying to "trick" her, etc. Expected me to work all day and somehow look after the kids as well, I already did most of the cooking as she never learnt and I can actually cook pretty well.

It wasn't unknown for her to stamp her feet and have a paddy like a toddler if she wasn't getting her own way.

A couple of years after we finalised the divorce she said to me "I thought the problem with my life was you, I now realise that it was me." I think that was the moment she finally grew up, I should add that she was in her forties at that point and both boys had left her to live with me due to her behaviour. It would have been nice if she had grown up whilst we were married but I don't think she would have.
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Old 01-14-2019, 04:54 PM   #1207
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A couple of years after we finalised the divorce she said to me "I thought the problem with my life was you, I now realise that it was me." I think that was the moment she finally grew up, I should add that she was in her forties at that point and both boys had left her to live with me due to her behaviour. It would have been nice if she had grown up whilst we were married but I don't think she would have.
That my friend, is where I see the future. But not until her parents are dead or no longer a prominent feature in her life. Before grandkids they abandoned her for months without so much as a text message. She was stable for long periods of time. Since grandkids, they feed her anxiety and depression, pander to her whims and provide confirmation bias to her skewed world view.

If me and her split this year, I'd wager they've got 10 years left. Probably 5-7 of those with active input.

A decades time, youngest will be about 12.

That'd be when the "light bulb moment" would happen. Thus realising that I'm not the root of all evil.

I wholeheartedly anticipate a fleet of disastrous relationships for her after we part. She's never been single, ever.
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Old 01-14-2019, 05:09 PM   #1208
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Trade her in.
Get a new one.
Problem solved.
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Old 01-21-2019, 07:51 AM   #1209
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I am not sure why I haven't seen this thread before, but it is certainly one that resonates with me and my situation.

I have been married 11 years this year, I think I still love my wife, and she still has the ability to turn me on. However, like everyone else on this thread, things are not as they once were.

We have been together 14 years, and when we started seeing each other, the sex was great, adventurous and frequent.

She has always had low self-esteem, and so I have always tried my best to build her up and tell her how attractive she is, and how crazy (in the good way) she gets me. It used to be enough.

However, she has PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome). This can either give women a high sex drive...or low. Depending on the hormonal levels and how they 'hit'.

One of the common issues with PCOS, is that it can make getting pregnant very difficult, if not impossible. We both always wanted kids, and what followed is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, although I know plenty of people have experiences. We struggled to get pregnant, and my wife began to hate her body more and more for failing her and not doing what it was supposed to. This pushed her towards depression, to the point that there were days I wasn't sure if she'd be alive when I came home. They were very dark times.

Sex became planned and unspontaneous. Everything was done by the cycle, and it lost any intimate, loving, passionate fun to it. It became harder (no pun intended) to perform under the pressure and the lack of actual arousal.

In the end, we went through a cycle of IVF. The first failed, but we were successful with the second and had a wonderful daughter. My wife still found it hard that it hadn't happened naturally, and she had to have a caesarean, again her body not able to deliver. However, once the first hard months of parenthood had passed, she had a new lease of life. We returned to a semi normal sex life, still not as good as before, but she was happier.

We decided to try for a second, and went straight for IVF (while not using contraception, just in case). This time she fell with the first cycle, but suffered a miscarriage at 8 weeks. It was horrendous, I have never felt so helpless ever, watching her sobbing on the bathroom floor, knowing there was nothing I could do to ease the pain. As you can imagine, the self loathing came back with vengeance. Understandably, she wasn't interested in sex for a good few months, but wanted to try for IVF again. She fell on the third cycle, and we had a second daughter a year and a day after the miscarriage. She was a difficult child in terms of allergies and other problems. Again, it was delivered by caesarean as my wife's body 'failed her' and the baby wouldn't engage for a normal birth.

It took a year or so but slowly, we became happy with our family, and things lifted all round.

We began to have sex again, less than monthly but there were signs. I remember it well, the night she sent me a message on my phone from upstairs to come and satisfy her now! It was wonderfully exciting, and a great sign. We began to have fun again.

Then...that sex....lead to the natural conception of a third child. I joke we bought two and got one free. We weren't being careful as thought it could never happen. Very naive.

In many ways (apart from the obvious) it was a blessing. This pregnancy was different to the others, as her body was doing everything it should have. There were no complications along the way, everything measured correctly. Again, she couldn't deliver it, so had a third caesarean. However, this time she was more accepting of it, due to the way it had all happened. Our son was born, and was the only one of our children who breastfed without problems. He mended a lot of her issues with her body.

However, he is now 2.5, and things haven't been great sexually since. The usual tiredness comes into play, but I have a high drive, and she has pretty much none at all these days. I think we've had sex 8 times since he was born, and nothing exciting, more 'get it over with' sex.

I have tried to be understanding, she has been through an awful lot emotionally, physically and had to take a lot of hormones for the IVF. However, it is tough, feeling unloved and unattractive to your partner. I just want to feel wanted, to get that feeling sometimes that she can't keep her hands off me, but no.

How long does one wait? She has had hormone levels etc.. checked, and nothing seems to be inbalanced. We have talked about it alot, she understands my feelings, but can't force herself, and I wouldn't want her too.

It has a big impact on us, and so we are effectively separated at the moment, sharing looking after the kids, while we try to work out what is best going forward.

So, that's my story, and why I am here!
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Old 01-22-2019, 03:13 PM   #1210
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I too am a causality of a sexless married man. My wife seems to get mad each time I even hint of having sex. It feels like it is an obligation for her to have sex with me. I do not know what to do. Like you I am so horny all the time. Hell read an article how men in this position even go bi... NOT FOR ME! YET!
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Old 01-22-2019, 04:56 PM   #1211
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Welcome to the club gentlemen. It's shit, there's no fucking medal and if you decide to consider your options... Well, there's 3 as far as I can tell;

1. Suck it up. Wank alone, when they're all in bed.
2. Have an affair. You'll feel great.. until afterwards. Then you'll feel like a cunt. Or she will find out. Then she'll make you feel like a cunt.
3. Leave. Say hello to your parents spare room. A custody arrangement. Your bank account raped. Your soul crushed.

So, what'll it be?
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Old 01-22-2019, 06:57 PM   #1212
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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
Welcome to the club gentlemen. It's shit, there's no fucking medal and if you decide to consider your options... Well, there's 3 as far as I can tell;

1. Suck it up. Wank alone, when they're all in bed.
2. Have an affair. You'll feel great.. until afterwards. Then you'll feel like a cunt. Or she will find out. Then she'll make you feel like a cunt.
3. Leave. Say hello to your parents spare room. A custody arrangement. Your bank account raped. Your soul crushed.

So, what'll it be?
Like so many, in a similar boat. It's been years since my wife and I have had sex. We actually have a decent relationship, cuddle, hug, etc., but just no sex. A variety of reasons for that, low libido on her part, from my side, it is memories of bad times in the past when hurtful things were said making it very difficult for me to want to have sex with her.

That being said, I don't think your three options are so black and white. I have had a number of affairs, a few I regret, but several of them were deeply meaningful and fulfilling in ways I couldn't imagine - but they were so because they were affairs. Marriage constrains one, you interact through set patterns you've created over the years, rather than allowing yourself to just be you. In an affair - with the right, understanding woman - you can step out of those patterns and be yourself in ways you had forgotten and suppressed.

Maybe my sense and commitment to monogamy is weak (if you really think about it, it isn't very natural and certainly not a necessity in world anymore), but I think affairs can be quite fulfilling and in fact, potentially, depending on your situation, strengthen your marriage as your frustrations find a release.

As well, though I've never divorced, not all divorces are so horrid.

There are other options than bog yourself down in the negativity and frustration. You can be the architect of your own reality and step out of the structured patterns of behavior in your marriage...
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Old 01-22-2019, 07:57 PM   #1213
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Originally Posted by RedJack81 View Post
I am not sure why I haven't seen this thread before, but it is certainly one that resonates with me and my situation.

I have been married 11 years this year, I think I still love my wife, and she still has the ability to turn me on. However, like everyone else on this thread, things are not as they once were.

...

It has a big impact on us, and so we are effectively separated at the moment, sharing looking after the kids, while we try to work out what is best going forward.

So, that's my story, and why I am here!
Sorry to hear of those troubles. Youíve had a long rough road.

Best wishes for sorting things out.
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:39 AM   #1214
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Like so many, in a similar boat. It's been years since my wife and I have had sex. We actually have a decent relationship, cuddle, hug, etc., but just no sex. A variety of reasons for that, low libido on her part, from my side, it is memories of bad times in the past when hurtful things were said making it very difficult for me to want to have sex with her.

That being said, I don't think your three options are so black and white. I have had a number of affairs, a few I regret, but several of them were deeply meaningful and fulfilling in ways I couldn't imagine - but they were so because they were affairs. Marriage constrains one, you interact through set patterns you've created over the years, rather than allowing yourself to just be you. In an affair - with the right, understanding woman - you can step out of those patterns and be yourself in ways you had forgotten and suppressed.

Maybe my sense and commitment to monogamy is weak (if you really think about it, it isn't very natural and certainly not a necessity in world anymore), but I think affairs can be quite fulfilling and in fact, potentially, depending on your situation, strengthen your marriage as your frustrations find a release.

As well, though I've never divorced, not all divorces are so horrid.

There are other options than bog yourself down in the negativity and frustration. You can be the architect of your own reality and step out of the structured patterns of behavior in your marriage...

A wise post by a clever individual. A lot of very sound observations.

I had an affair in a previous relationship, with a woman I loved as a friend and trusted implicitly. We'd never have worked as a relationship, fought too much.

But as friends that fucked, on the side... Exquisite. Never had a woman get me sexually like she did.

My post wasn't intended to be negative, but them's the breaks.
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Old 02-14-2019, 11:28 AM   #1215
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Interesting article posted today, on Valentine's day, in the Atlantic. The premise is that women, more than men, get more turned off by monogamy or perhaps monotony in a long term relationship than men.

It's an interesting read.

The Bored Sex - Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity ó despite having been taught that they were designed for it.

What do you think, ladies?
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Old 02-15-2019, 12:24 AM   #1216
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There is hope

Hi all- Iíve read this thread a few times, and kept debating posting... I wanted to give you some female perspective, coming from someone who went through a couple of years with a non- existent libido. For me, after having kids I went through a really rough patch. I was absolutely exhausted and struggling with depression. I so badly wanted to please my husband, but I by the end of the day I had nothing left. We were intimate about once a month.
There were a lot of different circumstances, but for me one big one that helped way more than I ever expected was stopping birth control pills. Apparently hormonal birth control has a huge effect on sex drive, but itís something not really talked about ever. Since stopping the pill (along with some other changes- losing weight, exercising more, kids getting older and having more adult trips away), I currently have the sex drive of a 16 year old boy, and my husband is struggling to keep up. I wish I had stopped years ago.
Obviously, this is only my own experience, but I thought it might offer you some hope. Hang in there. Keep telling your wife how much you love her and how attractive you find her. It can get better.
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Old 02-20-2019, 04:47 AM   #1217
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Temporary respite was granted. First fuck of 2019 was had, first since October 2018.


See how long until the next one.
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Old 02-20-2019, 07:48 AM   #1218
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Thumbs up

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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
Temporary respite was granted. First fuck of 2019 was had, first since October 2018.


See how long until the next one.
Congratulations!!! Glad to hear it!

Best wishes for the future.
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Old 02-20-2019, 08:04 AM   #1219
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Temporary respite was granted. First fuck of 2019 was had, first since October 2018.


See how long until the next one.
I'm only speculating here but have you considered that she may be getting it from someone else somewhere else?

Its a genuine question that I hope isn't coming across as nastiness on my part because it isn't.
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Old 02-20-2019, 09:06 AM   #1220
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Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
Temporary respite was granted. First fuck of 2019 was had, first since October 2018.


See how long until the next one.
*********

I kind of skimmed your previous posts and was wondering about a few things:

I am not sure how old your wife is but is it possible she is going through menopause? A good friend of mine suffered through over a year of similar misery with his wife in much the same way. She has now returned to "normal" he said and she seems even more sexual than before. Maybe you just need to weather the storm until it passes??

You mentioned something in passing about her narcissistic personality. If she is a true narcissist, there may be no "fix" for this. I suffered for years with a narcissistic psychopath without being aware of what one was. Only after ending the relationship did I learn about narcissists and/or psychopaths (many personality traits are similar between the two). My first book on the subject was titled "'Psychopath Free", by an author who goes by the name of Peace. That book was like reading my relationship history for the previous 4 years with a woman that I was head-over-heels in love with. While nothing she did made much sense to me during the relationship, it makes total sense to me now. It might be worth the time to read that book or maybe even watch several videos on Youtube that will help educate you on narcissists and their distinctive personality traits.

Is she having an affair? And more importantly, is she accusing you of having an affair?? Narcissists do something called "projecting" which is accusing others of doing the things they are guilty of. After learning about this, I now know and can see very clearly everything my ex-fiancee was doing that I was unaware of at the time.

While in the relationship with the narcissist I was constantly making excuses for and looking past her odd behavior. Since she was constantly accusing me of cheating on her I completely missed all the signs that she was having an affair. After learning that she was fucking her boss..... while at the same time accusing me of cheating, AND telling her boss that she and I were just roommates, that we did not have sex, that I was fucking my female customers, that I was beating her, and that she hated my guts and wished I were dead......I kicked her out of our home. I had no idea that she was so manipulative of me and others and told people anything she needed to in order to receive the attention and sympathy she needed. She is a pathological liar, along with her other mental health issues. The lying, coupled with the ever-changing, phony facade, and sex addiction are typical of narcissists. I realize your wife has cut you off from sex but so did this woman at the very end of our relationship, after her boss had severed personal ties with her and she was most likely out fucking, or looking to fuck other men. She also became very personally insulting to me for seemingly no reason. She even called me a "little-dick, no-neck" one night. She never complained about my size before and we did have a very good sex life for most of the relationship. Her unstable mood and increasing rants about me having an affair diminished the sex somewhat.

PM me if interested in discussing further.
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Last edited by KDLeon : 02-20-2019 at 09:21 AM.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:41 AM   #1221
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Congratulations!!! Glad to hear it!

Best wishes for the future.
Thanks, I'm not green enough to assume she will now want it daily
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:42 AM   #1222
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I'm only speculating here but have you considered that she may be getting it from someone else somewhere else?

Its a genuine question that I hope isn't coming across as nastiness on my part because it isn't.
Yes. She has form for both attention seeking elsewhere and affairs. Yesterday's underwear was a wet mess yesterday when she got in from work (hamper). I wasn't the first person to arouse her yesterday.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:46 AM   #1223
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*********

I kind of skimmed your previous posts and was wondering about a few things:

I am not sure how old your wife is but is it possible she is going through menopause? A good friend of mine suffered through over a year of similar misery with his wife in much the same way. She has now returned to "normal" he said and she seems even more sexual than before. Maybe you just need to weather the storm until it passes??

You mentioned something in passing about her narcissistic personality. If she is a true narcissist, there may be no "fix" for this. I suffered for years with a narcissistic psychopath without being aware of what one was. Only after ending the relationship did I learn about narcissists and/or psychopaths (many personality traits are similar between the two). My first book on the subject was titled "'Psychopath Free", by an author who goes by the name of Peace. That book was like reading my relationship history for the previous 4 years with a woman that I was head-over-heels in love with. While nothing she did made much sense to me during the relationship, it makes total sense to me now. It might be worth the time to read that book or maybe even watch several videos on Youtube that will help educate you on narcissists and their distinctive personality traits.

Is she having an affair? And more importantly, is she accusing you of having an affair?? Narcissists do something called "projecting" which is accusing others of doing the things they are guilty of. After learning about this, I now know and can see very clearly everything my ex-fiancee was doing that I was unaware of at the time.

While in the relationship with the narcissist I was constantly making excuses for and looking past her odd behavior. Since she was constantly accusing me of cheating on her I completely missed all the signs that she was having an affair. After learning that she was fucking her boss..... while at the same time accusing me of cheating, AND telling her boss that she and I were just roommates, that we did not have sex, that I was fucking my female customers, that I was beating her, and that she hated my guts and wished I were dead......I kicked her out of our home. I had no idea that she was so manipulative of me and others and told people anything she needed to in order to receive the attention and sympathy she needed. She is a pathological liar, along with her other mental health issues. The lying, coupled with the ever-changing, phony facade, and sex addiction are typical of narcissists. I realize your wife has cut you off from sex but so did this woman at the very end of our relationship, after her boss had severed personal ties with her and she was most likely out fucking, or looking to fuck other men. She also became very personally insulting to me for seemingly no reason. She even called me a "little-dick, no-neck" one night. She never complained about my size before and we did have a very good sex life for most of the relationship. Her unstable mood and increasing rants about me having an affair diminished the sex somewhat.

PM me if interested in discussing further.

Without writing war and peace;

Narcissist: completely agree
Affairs: has form. Attention whoring and full affair
Age: 30. But has obgyn issues
Abusive: can be
Projecting: frequently done

PM to discuss in depth. Kik too.
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Old 02-20-2019, 11:02 AM   #1224
KDLeon
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KDLeon is online now
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 281
Quote:
Originally Posted by newhere2learn View Post
Without writing war and peace;

Narcissist: completely agree
Affairs: has form. Attention whoring and full affair
Age: 30. But has obgyn issues
Abusive: can be
Projecting: frequently done

PM to discuss in depth. Kik too.
Well then, you know the problem. Believe me, there is no "fixing it". You need to decide to live with it or not. I could have lived with the cheating - although I would have preferred she be open about it since I would have been aroused by her fucking other men if she would have been able to have that be a part of a healthy continuing relationship (no possible with her) - but I could not live with the lying. I threw her out once I learned about how much she lied. I realized that was the end. That doesn't mean I am totally over it. A narcissist will fuck with your head, and it's a process from beginning to end for them to play with your feelings and needs. You become addicted to it them. I physically made the break with her and have not seen her for over 4 years. I have yet to make a 100% mental break from her. Not sure it will happen.
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59yo male in my third marriage, plus had a 4 year engagement to another woman before my third.

Mostly hetero but do have some limited bi experience.

Larger women seem more sexual to me.

For sex, I'll take a below-average looking woman who is comfortable with herself and her sexuality over a super hot woman who is immature and insecure about it.
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Old 02-20-2019, 11:50 AM   #1225
justdamhorny
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justdamhorny is online now
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ont. Canada
Posts: 10
I'm in the club too

Well, I knew I wasn't alone but it's sad that this club is so big. My wife and I haven't had sex in over 10 years. She will not do it. I have received a few hand jobs along the way but usually only after I ask. She still wants to snuggle or hug but there again I usually have to initiate it.
I've considered a fuck buddy . I don't want to leave since I still love her.

So, I read a lot on here, I chat with a very good friend who happens to be in the same boat and she helps a great deal.

Thanks for starting this thread.
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