Pickpocketeers- First story

https://www.literotica.com/s/pickpocketeers

For any kletpophiliacs out there, or anyone who likes horny female thieves.

Masashi1 said:

https://www.literotica.com/s/pickpocketeers

For any kletpophiliacs out there, or anyone who likes horny female thieves.

Click to expand...

That's a quick read. I don't share the fetish, so I didn't vote.

Stories that consist almost entirely of 1st person narrative are unusual. When you write again you might consider using some dialogue.

Partly because of the lack of dialogue, your story reads like the opening chapter of a longer story. Characters are introduced, but not developed. There are events, but no plot that I could detect, and no resolution.

Use whatever spell-checking and editing tools your word processor offers. You should also seek an editor, not just to help with the typos and spelling, but to help you with sentence structure as well.

Needed more careful editing. "Portia" becomes "Porsche", and you have stuff like "empty wallets, which had a;; been shucked in the car already" that should be picked up by a beta reader.

The concept was interesting, but I agree with NotWise that it would've done better with a bit more of a plot.

My interest lasted almost a paragraph. But it made me think about attention deficit disorder. What if people with ADD really suffered from terminal good taste, and the ADD spares them from crap like your tale!