Use of "was" in writing

As none of you know, I am attempting to write (for large definitions of write) a book (non-erotic) and am working with a local writers group for feedback. Something that comes up repeatedly by these folks, most of whom have published books, is removing "was" from my writing.

I understand their reasoning but in reading some of the masters (Heinlein, Clarke, Asimov, etc), their writings are filled with "was". For example, the following is from Asimov's Fantastic Voyage: Destination Brain:

There was his program, of course, specially designed by himself. It had been built, in the first place, by a small firm according to his specifications. Since then he had modified it endlessly on his own. Perhaps he should patent it, except that no one but he was ever likely to use it. He would take it with him, of course, wherever he went. He had it with him now, in his left inner jacket pocket, within which it bulged like an oversize wallet.

Morrison could hear the roughness of his own breathing and he realized that he was escaping from the purposeless merry-go-round of his thoughts by falling asleep over them. How could he interest others in anything, he thought bitterly, when he bored even himself?

He was aware that the sun no longer struck his window and that a gathering twilight encompassed his room. So much the better.

He became conscious of a polite buzz. It was the room telephone, he realized, but he didn't budge. Morrison let his eyes remain closed. It was probably this man, this Rodano, calling to make a final try. Let him ring.

Sleep closed in and Morrison's head lolled to one side in so uncomfortable a position that he didn't stay asleep long.

It was perhaps fifteen minutes later that he started awake. The sky was still blue, but the twilight in his room had darkened and he thought, with some guilt, that he had missed all the papers given in the afternoon. And then, rebelliously, he thought: Good! Why should I want to hear them?


That is a total of 8 "was" in six paragraphs. Both before and after this part there are paragraphs with multiple "was" in them, sometimes multiples in the same sentence.

Am I simply a bad writer (please don't answer that question) and don't grasp writing basics, am I going insane thinking these people are wrong, or are they overzealous to expunge "was" from my story? My logic is, if these masters can do it, why can't I? Or is it because they are masters they are allowed more leeway?

Thoughts? Observations? Donations of money to help a struggling writer?

If you are the 'narrator' of a story, I don't see a problem.

I don't know of anything inherently wrong with using "was." Perhaps it's in the way that you use it. It is a verb and you can often select different verbs to fulfil your purpose while you color your writing and vary the reader's experience.

I sometimes see a problem in my writing with "get" or "got. They aren't especially descriptive and can usually be replaced with more descriptive verbs like "clutch", "grasp" and so on.

First, I have to say that I have mixed views on taking advice from ‘writers’ groups’ – including this one, the AH. Writers – particularly fiction writers – should, first and foremost, write for themselves. If you don’t want to read what you’ve written, why should anyone else want to read it?

Second, if you do want a second opinion, make sure that you get it from someone who is competent to give one. The fact that someone is a ‘published author’ does not make them an expert on your work – or even on writing in general. Helping you to say what you want to say with clarity and style is the job of an editor.

Third, if ‘was’ sounds right, use it. If it doesn’t sound right, try a different word. But keep in mind that this is only my opinion. The final call is still yours.

Good luck.

SamScribble said:

First, I have to say that I have mixed views on taking advice from ‘writers’ groups’ – including this one, the AH. Writers – particularly fiction writers – should, first and foremost, write for themselves. If you don’t want to read what you’ve written, why should anyone else want to read it?

Second, if you do want a second opinion, make sure that you get it from someone who is competent to give one. The fact that someone is a ‘published author’ does not make them an expert on your work – or even on writing in general. Helping you to say what you want to say with clarity and style is the job of an editor.

Third, if ‘was’ sounds right, use it. If it doesn’t sound right, try a different word. But keep in mind that this is only my opinion. The final call is still yours.

Good luck.

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I'm waiting for the sky to fall. When I post something like this on this forum, it does.

I look at was the way I do any other word-as well as assorted vices-anything in moderation is fine. Any word can look wrong if you're beating it into the ground.

Your example was 8 in six paragraphs, I don't see that as excessive, now 8 per paragraph, yes. But again not because of the specific word was, but just overusage of any word.

My opinion of course.

SamScribble said:

First, I have to say that I have mixed views on taking advice from ‘writers’ groups’ – including this one, the AH. Writers – particularly fiction writers – should, first and foremost, write for themselves. If you don’t want to read what you’ve written, why should anyone else want to read it?

Second, if you do want a second opinion, make sure that you get it from someone who is competent to give one. The fact that someone is a ‘published author’ does not make them an expert on your work – or even on writing in general. Helping you to say what you want to say with clarity and style is the job of an editor.

Third, if ‘was’ sounds right, use it. If it doesn’t sound right, try a different word. But keep in mind that this is only my opinion. The final call is still yours.

Good luck.

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Well said.

It sounds as if the 'was' criticism is in regards to passive versus active voice. The latter is generally preferred in fiction, in that it draws readers closer to the story. However, as has been noted, moderate use of 'is' or 'was' is not a problem, and you shouldn't perform grammatical back flips to avoid their use.

One paradigm: Use of is, be, was, are, etc displays weakness. (I could have said "is weak" but that demonstrates the point.) Strong, active text eschews the equivalent of an equals sign. Which seems stronger, "I was exhausted by work" or "Work exhausted me" ??

Did your writer's group make such points?

I think if you hadn't pointed out the fact that the word "was" was used 8 times, readers wouldn't have noticed it.

The fact is, if you write past tense, the word "was" is going to be used a lot.

Another fact is, writers aren't judged by the amount of times they use small bridge words like "was." Stories are judged by the whole, usually.

That said, I think if you try to vary your word usage, that's always a good thing.

Auxilary, passive verbs are corner cutters that spare writers lotsa work with inane events in the story. Theyre like MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH transitions.

My boogieman word is "that". I have a bad habit of placing them in sentences for no apparent reason. The first read after finishing is to go through and remove all those "that" 's that don't belong. See I did it again.

You often read that it's best to avoid the passive voice whenever possible. A great many people don't actually know what the passive is, though, except that it involves the use of the verb "to be." Even the sainted Strunk and White got it wrong. So "avoid the passive voice" becomes "avoid 'to be'."

But try writing three sentences without it!

Serafina1210 said:

You often read that it's best to avoid the passive voice whenever possible. A great many people don't actually know what the passive is, though, except that it involves the use of the verb "to be." Even the sainted Strunk and White got it wrong. So "avoid the passive voice" becomes "avoid 'to be'."

But try writing three sentences without it!

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I have Strunk and White lying next to my keyboard.

Thanks to everyone for their input. It is appreciated.

Strunk and White's pretty limited in terms of adult fiction. It's meant for high school term papers. Better than nothing, but . . .

The word I'm always trying to track down and excise is "now."

I use even too much and also and "of course" I write on the fly to let the story flow then go back and have to remove a bunch of the aforementioned words.

lovecraft68 said:

I use even too much and also and "of course" I write on the fly to let the story flow then go back and have to remove a bunch of the aforementioned words.

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"Even," "just," "of course," "that" (the conjunction), "then," "(s)he said," "sort of," "kind of," "so," and a hundred others. I need to make a list of them and work through it before I let anything go.

Serafina1210 said:

"Even," "just," "of course," "that" (the conjunction), "then," "(s)he said," "sort of," "kind of," "so," and a hundred others. I need to make a list of them and work through it before I let anything go.

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I have an index card stuck next to my keyboard that is marked

Stop using these fucking words! And a list,

I seem to ignore myself

Serafina1210 said:

"Even," "just," "of course," "that" (the conjunction), "then," "(s)he said," "sort of," "kind of," "so," and a hundred others. I need to make a list of them and work through it before I let anything go.

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"Just" became my pet peeve a couple years ago and I went on an editorial campaign in my company to discourage it. It is often used to belittle an idea or an act and in most of its other uses there are better words to use. I dislike it, but I haven't been able to write completely without it.

Go do a ctr F on the stories of some of these guys giving advice and you'll notice something: no one is listening to their own advice.

At least lovecraft admits it.

Remember though, all these words people are mentioning, that is their own personal pet peeves where they find it could improve their writing (at the very least, in their own minds it can) ... Sam Scribble's advice works best I believe.

Grab the top 10 best selling books of the year and find out if they are all writing like each other.

Of course you have no idea how may iterations of our trouble words we deleted before publishing (which, rather, is the point).

"Though" is another word I overuse.

On the flip side, I heard John Gresham talk last Thursday. He gave his ten advice tips. One was to toss the thesaurus out and stick with your natural vocabulary, even if it means repeating words.

sr71plt said:

On the flip side, I heard John Gresham talk last Thursday. He gave his ten advice tips. One was to toss the thesaurus out and stick with your natural vocabulary, even if it means repeating words.

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For the most part I think the thesaurus is a Bad Thing, based on professional experience. Writers need to describe things through their own understanding of the language and then, if necessary, let editors fix the mess.

My biggest problem has been with people who are technically competent but not so wonderful at expressing themselves in English.

It does help to have more than a rudimentary working vocabulary.

NotWise said:

My biggest problem has been with people who are technically competent but not so wonderful at expressing themselves in English.

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Read: engineers.

Passive voice is my Achilles heel. And "that".

Write for you and the rest of the world will either love it or hate it; but they'll all have to buy it to find out.

sr71plt said:

Of course you have no idea how may iterations of our trouble words we deleted before publishing (which, rather, is the point).

"Though" is another word I overuse.

On the flip side, I heard John Gresham talk last Thursday. He gave his ten advice tips. One was to toss the thesaurus out and stick with your natural vocabulary, even if it means repeating words.

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You guys though ... you guys may think you overuse certain words because it sticks out in your head, while the people reading or buying/reading your work don't even notice it at all ... for those who don't like 'even' .... while the people reading or buying/reading your work don't notice it at all ...don't notice at all.

On the subject of 'how to write' (kinda what we are talking about, I guess) Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishing houses before it was picked up (was that because of her writing or plot, the article didn't say) ... it seems even professionals can be wrong. I'm sure there are dozens of these incidents in the literary world.