What's with...

BurningMonkey

TheMan In TheMirror
Joined
Jan 21, 2014
Posts
4,861
What's with all the Elves, Werewolves, Vampires, Zombies, Furries, etc.?
Don't just normal, everyday humans fuck anymore?

Sorry; just feeling curmudgeonly today.
 
Eh...it's all fiction so it doesn't matter to me if the characters are horned, cursed, or normally inanimate. In fact, since it's online we're just staring at a virtual display formed from data that was copy pasted from a processing program that obtained the data from button presses made by a person who had an idea...about as far a distillation of reality as you can get.

Long as the story is interesting and hot it could be about a toaster getting bound and gagged by a cowboy hat
 
Long as the story is interesting and hot
I don't know about you, but I define a story as "interesting and hot" by whether or not I can identify with the protagonist. Which leaves out toasters, cowboy hats, lycans, tree moss, and other such things.
 
People went stupid(er) over a couple of movie and TV show storylines. Silly asses really.

I stopped watching monster flicks when I was a kid.
 
Fair enough. All right let's pitch an idea specifically for you.

A man sits tapping away at his phone displeased with his favorite site's offerings when suddenly there's a call. The bank says they must foreclose on his house! He panics! He goes to the bank and discovers that a new employee made an error. She fixes it but begs our lead to not tell anyone.

What happens next?
 
Fair enough. All right let's pitch an idea specifically for you.

A man sits tapping away at his phone displeased with his favorite site's offerings when suddenly there's a call. The bank says they must foreclose on his house! He panics! He goes to the bank and discovers that a new employee made an error. She fixes it but begs our lead to not tell anyone.

What happens next?

As banks will do, she offers him a toaster. He takes the toaster home only to discover that it's grown a monster dick and commences fucking his favorite cowboy hat. Suddenly a lycan leaps through the window, and asks, "Did you see a sexy Dark Elf go by here?" Then he catches sight of the toaster fucking the cowboy hat, gets hard himself, and begins fucking the dishwasher, which in turn has grown a monster vulva with tentacles (Ha!!) which it uses to grab the pots and pans and start banging out Morse Code to summon the alien furries, of which it was one in disguise...

What next? I fall asleep, having totally lost interest in the story. That or go look up some old reruns of Starsky & Hutch. You decide.
 
There are lots of well-filled rooms here. There are some of them I stay out of; doesn't mean that I mind they are there for others to enjoy.
 
Here here for the OP's comment. I know everyone's got their thing but I don't even understand how any male gets off to anything but hetero human sex, or hot girl/girl. Gay males? Tentacles? Furry anything? Dick girls? I don't just not get it, some of it makes me vaguely ill.

Sure, I'm a minus one in the Kinsey scale, but how and why would I even begin to empathize with a character who isn't all about giving or getting pussy?

No, don't try to explain. I'm happy in my intensely erotic but narrowly defined sexuality. And I get what I like. How's that tentacle sex fantasy working out for ya?

So yay for humans in bed.
 
He's the center of his universe, as you are the center of yours.
Don't be so disparaging.

Point of order. He was being disparaging of universes other than his own. And you started off by being disparaging of universes other than your own. I made no comment on my universe. :rolleyes:

I think you both need to just sit on it and stop disparaging what others want to write/read.
 
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Point of order. He was being disparaging of universes other than his own. I made no comment on my universe. :rolleyes:

I think you both need to just sit on it and stop disparaging about what others want to write/read.

Point of order: I did not disparage what others want to write/read. I merely was whining about the fact that this forum seems to be filled lately with threads about ghoolies and ghosties and long-legged beasties and things that thump their tentacles in the night.

I come here looking for story ideas I haven't thought of, or twists on old memes. (Which is a redundancy I know, since all memes/themes/tropes have been done when it comes to sex...or at least when it comes to human sex. Like a Lego set, there are a finite number of ways in which the pieces can fit together.)

And when I don't find anything I can use...I get cranky, is all. It will pass.

Carry on in your universe of elves/witches/aliens and whatnot.
 
Point of order: I did not disparage what others want to write/read. I merely was whining about the fact that this forum seems to be filled lately with threads about ghoolies and ghosties and long-legged beasties and things that thump their tentacles in the night.

I come here looking for story ideas I haven't thought of, or twists on old memes. (Which is a redundancy I know, since all memes/themes/tropes have been done when it comes to sex...or at least when it comes to human sex. Like a Lego set, there are a finite number of ways in which the pieces can fit together.)

And when I don't find anything I can use...I get cranky, is all. It will pass.

Carry on in your universe of elves/witches/aliens and whatnot.

I guess you weren't aware that folks were gearing up for Halloween. And we obviously have different definitions of disparaging. ;)
 
Now, a hot chick in a Halloween costume I could go for. :)
"Trick or treat, mister--oh, my, what a big candy bar you have! Can I taste it?"

And yes, I suspect our definitions diverge.
 
Point of order. He was being disparaging of universes other than his own.

No. I was freely admitting I don't get it and would prefer not to try. And yay that there are others like me. But that's a long way from disparaging anyone's fetish. It doesn't even reach disapproval. When I decide to be disparaging, people know it unanbiguously.

But I'm not that way inclined, and anyway this is the new AH and we no longer get disparaging towards people.
 
Heck, yeah! ;)
For Hallowe'en they can be licorice tentacles; for XMas, candy-cane tentacles; for fantasy, unicorn tentacles; for erotic horror, incubus tentacles. Tentacles for every occasion. BBC tentacles; BDSM tentacles; incestuous tentacles; romantic tentacles; even mature tentacles. But no poetic tentacles; nobody reads poetry. No, over there it'll have to be poetic testicles.
 
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