Genitals as pets....

Carnevil9

King of Jesters.
Joined
Jul 19, 2006
Posts
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I was walking my dog in the park the other day, and we came across another dog and his owner. The owner and I said hello, then we let our dogs approach each other to see if they would get along. Fortunately, they did (in this instance), and proceeded to frolic happily for a few minutes. Then we all said goodbye and went our separate ways.

It got me thinking - what if our genitals were like our pets? Somewhat under our control, but with a mind of their own, and we could never be sure how they would react, or who they would like or dislike?

You would meet a comely lass, you want to fuck her and she wants to fuck you. You take her home to bed, you both get undressed. Then you have to hope that your cock plays nice with her pussy. If they only snarl at each other, you have to pull them apart, say I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work, and part company.

Anyway, there might be a story in there somewhere. Or maybe I just need a lobotomy.
 
Oh my god this idea is fucking hilarious.


Here is another thought...
What if everyone had a pet that wasn't their actual genitals, but was a detached representative of their genitals. People who are interested in sex take their "pets" to a dog park, I mean genitals park, rather than to a pickup bar or other place to meet potential partners. The genital pets don't actually look like genitals, but are more like a common breed of dog or cat.

At the genitals park, pet genitals of all shapes and sizes are on display. Maybe one woman has a cat like pet at the end of her leash that is covered in thick fur, while another woman's is hairless. Men's pets are also quite varied in size and have differing fur lengths and textures as well. Many of the men's pets resemble a Shar pei dog, while some others are more like a dachshund.

At the park no one pays any attention to the people and are all fixated on the all the pets at the ends of the leashes. When someone sees a pet that looks interesting to them, they introduce their pet to the other pet. Then they let them play. They are looking for the tell tale signs that when the people get together the sex will be mutually satisfying.

Of course the pets' reactions have to be classic. Men's pets puff up in the presence of a good match, and women's pets can't stop salivating. When the match isn't good one or the other pet doesn't really react much, or maybe reacts in a different way. I might even be funny if a man's pet puffs up for a few seconds then retreats, that indicates he will likely be premature in the actual lovemaking. Maybe one of the things people look for is when their pet starts to shake and squirm, and how long this occurs. This could be an indicator of how intense an orgasm might be with the other person. And like the men's pets that shake and retreat, men also look for women's pets that never shake or only whimper at the end of the introduction so they know the union will be empty because she will have trouble achieving an orgasm.

So with this premise of pets in place, the story could be about what people see at the pet park and how that affects their real life relationships. In some cases there could be accidental interaction between pets of the same sex with interesting outcomes. In other cases one pet might be overly aggressive growling at the other pets until one particular pet seems to get off on being growled at (i.e. dominated). Some pets may react differently when near the different orifices of other pets.

Maybe there are pet grooming stores, and places to get your pet augmented in some way. There could even be places to buy clothing for your pet including studded leathers and such.

Like I said, this is a pretty funny idea. I like it.
 
The genital pets don't actually look like genitals, but are more like a common breed of dog or cat.

Then you're just writing about cats and dogs and you lose the sillieness of the story.

Wanting dogs/cats to cross breed is probably a unique fetish all on its own (and not one I want to look up).
 
This makes me think of the Golden Compass series where everyone is born with a 'spirit pet' called a daemon. When you are young it can try taking the shape of all different animals, and somewhere around puberty it settles into a permanent animal type which corresponds to your personality. When people's daemons like each other the people usually do to.
 
This makes me think of the Golden Compass series where everyone is born with a 'spirit pet' called a daemon. When you are young it can try taking the shape of all different animals, and somewhere around puberty it settles into a permanent animal type which corresponds to your personality. When people's daemons like each other the people usually do to.

Of course, for Lit, they'd appear on your 18th birthday... I like the idea, though. I imagine it'd be interesting seeing a cute girl across the room and trying to figure out what sort of personality corresponds to an orangutan.
 
Of course, for Lit, they'd appear on your 18th birthday... I like the idea, though. I imagine it'd be interesting seeing a cute girl across the room and trying to figure out what sort of personality corresponds to an orangutan.

Everyone knows that....

The monkeys stand for honesty
Giraffes are insincere
And the elephants are kindly but they're dumb
Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages
And the zoo keeper is very fond of rum
Zebras are reactionaries
Antelopes are missionaries
Pigeons plot in secrecy
And hamsters turn on frequently
 
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