BDSM and mental health. Does it make you feel better?

Raging_Bull

Experienced
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Oct 9, 2008
Posts
67
Hi,

I guess I was kidding myself all along but I want to accept that something is really wrong with my head. Never really fit in with the society - not much of friends or family, just me and my "impossible" goose chases (which btw I chased down finally). Anyway, I was depressed as long as I can remember and I tried medication a few years back. It didn't help and I relished about planning my suicide in detail during that time. Quit medication, tried "natural" remedies, therapy, hell even paid a doc $1000 out of pocket to run tests on my head. Didn't help. Now a few years later, I take amphetamines in the morning, try different things to sleep, and as usual keep moving between medications to find that mental equilibrium.
It dawned on me today if the root/fix of my mental problems could be the fact that I have never ever felt sexually fulfilled ( had lots of vanilla sex but not BDSM and I strongly identify as a dom). I was having sadistic sexual fantasies as a 5 year old kid (yes that's depressingly accurate), so that's a lifetime's worth of sexual frustration.

I googled it and there appears to be some research recommending some BDSM acts (e.g. caning) for depression. I just would like to know if someone here saw really significant change in their mental health status once they came in tune with their true sexuality (made the switch to BDSM). I probably can't do much about it anyway, but it would be comforting to know if there's hope because frankly, I am this close sometimes to being suicidal again.
 
Good morning,
I don't personally suffer from the specific issues you mentioned, but I do battle with anxiety pretty regularly. It was one of the FIRST things that drew me to D/s, having that dynamic actively in my life does absolutely relieve my anxiety. I think it has a lot to do with the dynamic I mesh well with and seek out. I know when I'm headed down the path to an anxiety attack all I have to do is reach out literally or metaphorically to my Sir and it calms down. For me a lot of my anxiety triggers have to do with feeling like I can't fulfill expectations, in communicated expectations, or disappointments, in addition to undeserved anger, or fear of abandonment and abuse. The D/ s dynamic resolves all of these for me. I seek a person who is very clear about their needs, desires, and expectations. Whom I can fulfill. Who is well and truly having self control over their temper towards me and around me. Who uses anger and punishment judiciously as they are aware how sincerely and deeply it affects me.

Knowing all that, I can usually hold on to that to know I am doing a good job, I am secure, I'm not going to be released without just well communicated cause, I'm not going to be abused for no reason, and I am appreciated and worthy of time, energy, and affection.

Tldr; yeah, it helps my anxiety a ton.
 
Caning could help to alleviate stress and even get somebody out of frustration. But do not be under the illusion that it's because there's something in the act itself, or in pain, or anything. For the right person - it will help, but for the wrong one - it may do damage.

Thing is, what cures stress and depression is generally getting yourself cheered up and having the flow of positive emotions. For some caning and BDSM can be an emotional outlet for the tension that otherwise builds inside of them. Just like for other people watching a scary movie is a way of stress-relief (or sports, shopping, eating ice-cream and really any other activity). For some people, caning and BDSM is their ice-cream.

BDSM and Masochism in particular is a complex thing, and is not easily explained to non-masochists. Just take it for granted that it's their way of eating ice-cream, shopping and punching a pillow when they feel stressed - and much more. They do what they like, and this helps to deal with things that upset them.

But for others, such things are not the right stimuli, and they will not help. In fact, they can even harm or deepen the depression and raise stress levels. So they should never be attempted as cure.

If you are interested in BDSM in and on its own, if you want to be caned (or cane someone) because it makes you aroused and feels good - do it. As a side-effect this could help, or it could make 0 difference.

But if you are hesitant at all and are looking that way because you heard that things like this help - no, don't do it. It's pointless. It can only help if it's your thing. I play 2048 on my cellphone to calm down - this will probably not help to many other people, and it will frustrate or irritate others.

For a non-masochist, if you get caned, it will be a remedy similar to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAgd2KvijNQ

That's what I think.
 
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Bdsm can be very therapeutic, but as the poster above said, it’s person to person. I myself have been under a lot of stress lately and I find my fantasies being more sadistic then they usually are and I’m sure it’s me trying to vent. I know that with some masochists it does help them vent, it’s not the pain they crave, it’s the emotional release the pain brings. As the sadist, inflicting that pain could easily be a way to vent. So it very well could be something that works for you, but you have to voice the same thoughts and concerns to whoever you play with that you voiced here. They need to know why you are doing it.
 
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Hi there, I am a sub, I have severe anxiety and also depression, I had a bad patch not too long ago and I spoke to some of the lovely people on here and they helped me out alot jist in terms of having someone to open up to about my problems, I find that pain really helps subside my anxiety, it almost stops my train of thought and makes me feel better, my partner/Dom is learning to help me in this way when I'm having a bad day, so I'm guessing it could work the other way round for yourself it may help you to release some of those issues you are having as it really does help me, also keep yourself busy! Hope you feel better soon.
 
It can definitely relieve stress for us. If you have not seen the movie yet I recommend watching the secretary. Doesn’t seem a far reach from your situation. I hope you find something that keeps suicide from being an option. Depression has taken a few friends from me over the years so I know it isn’t easy to deal with. Even with meds
 
Psychology Today found that people who are into BDSM are actually more mentally healthy. I find it extremely vulnerable and expressive. It creates a much closer relationship for us. Our intimacy is greater and it carries over into the rest of our relationship. Also, is one fantastic stress reducer
 
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