The personal and the political

ThomasPain

Virgin
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Jan 28, 2018
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14
I had no idea how kinky my fantasies were until I started writing them down. I mean I knew i was a little kinky, but only as I started writing out a narrative or two did I realize how quickly I went into some pretty taboo, dark areas involving non-consensual sex, use of force as well as inappropriate age match ups. Not little kids, but the late teenager discovering sex with someone a little older. In real life, I am quite clear that these fantasies describe assaults that could traumatize someone. I have no interest in actually causing harm or molesting a teenager, but when I start writing this dark stuff seems to come out. Politically I want to undo structural inequalities that victimize women, while in my stories ... well, ... victimization occurs. I have been afraid to share much of this stuff, with well, anyone. I don't know if these fantasies are just an internalization of oppressive gender dynamics or something deeper. But once I start writing a story, I get obsessed and can't stop until i have lost sleep and had to change many pair of underwear. Should I share these stories or should I throw them on the trash heap as counterrevolutionary anathema? Its not as if there is a shortage of stories about people being overpowered and coerced and finding it a turn on. Am I going to add to the problem and cause harm by writing down these fantasies? I know ... I am asking this in a BDSM writers forum, and will probably get a slew of YKIOK responses ... but I don't really know who to talk to about this to get some clarity and I don't want to fuck up my personal or professional life with any of this.
 
Well. Fantasies are fantasies. I have a lot of those that turn me on, but many of them I wouldn't ever want to come to fruition.
I'm currently writing heavy body modification non-con. As in, amputations and surgeries to make someone into a living sex-toy. This turns me on in my fantasy world, but would I ever want to see something like that in real life? No. In fact, I imagine I would be extremely turned off and sick in the stomach if any non-con stuff happened near me. I just don't find it sexual.

What I'm getting at, I think it's normal to fantasize about stuff. That's why we like Horror Movies - because they tickle our nerves, not because we actually want to take place of any of the characters.
Non-con genre is like Horror Erotica, and in fact many websites have a section for those kinds of stories and e-books.

That said, stuff like this tends to get many people triggered. You need to include very clear disclaimers that you do not endorse or condone such behaviors and that the story is written for the sake of fantasy and entertainment.

It will get people triggered.

Also, Non-con is not BDSM, and I think many people will frown upon this discussion in this thread. BDSM can only be consensual - if it isn't, then your story can include tags like Bondage, Submission, Sadism/Masochism. But if you include BDSM tag - you WILL get some people triggered big time.

Have fun!:cattail:
 
Oh yea, almost forgot.
Should I share these stories or should I throw them on the trash heap as counterrevolutionary anathema?
Should definitely share. I would even suggest publishing them on Smashwords, if they are long enough.

On literotica... Well, first of all you mentioned late-teen, and this is like the biggest red flag here. Your stories may be removed, in fact even these posts may be removed just for mentioning this. You can try BDSMLibrary - things like that tolerated better there, also non-con and violence is more accepted too.

I have been afraid to share much of this stuff, with well, anyone. I don't know if these fantasies are just an internalization of oppressive gender dynamics or something deeper.
Don't worry, your head is totally fine.
It's just that in literature and fantasy we tend to crank up everything to the extreme. That's why fairytale love stories are popular. That's why super-violent maniac movies are popular.
People tend to like extremes in media much more than realism. If it's gonna be an explosion, make it a big one - that kind of mentality.
In your case, you are just extrapolationg fantasies of dominance, submission and helplessness into extreme - which is non-con.
 
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply and your insights. Interestingly enough, I think I would be terrified of some of the themes you mentioned. :)
 
What Nezul said!! :)

Dark stuff is good to get out of your head by writing it down. Why do you think you'd cause harm?

Are you that obsessed it's affecting your day to day life? If not, you're probably ok.

I'll second Nezul's sentiment - just enjoy!
 
As long as the “women” are over 18 in your stories, it’s all good.

As for your thoughts, as long as you aren’t acting on them I would say they are fine.

I’m an RN. I worked in an OBGYN clinic for years, sending patients as young as 11 for rape kits. I’m a staunch feminist. I raised my boys to be loving and respectful young men. I know that rape is not a crime of sex, but a crime of violence and control. As we all do.

That being said, I almost exclusively read NonCon, and some of the hottest parts of my sexuality I’ve explored are related to force and/or rape play.
The control part of NonCon may loosely relate to BDSM, but like Nezhul said, BDSM is all about consent, trust and communication.

It feels icky in your head, yes? Which makes it hotter.

I would tweak your stories so everyone is over 18 and have fun.
 
So thanks for all your input. It was very instructive and helpful. I submitted three stories. 2 were accepted ( Simone and the photo shoot & Stephen )and one rejected. The rejected one ... I got feedback that was a little confusing. The first item was a question:
Was there an underage (under 18 years old) sexual relationship in my story?
now there's not actually a way to reply to this feedback. If there was, my reply would be "no." "No, there was not an underage character engaging in sexual activity.

The second bit was a little less clear:
We generally do not accept submissions of nonconsensual sex in which the "victim" gets absolutely no sort of thrill or enjoyment from the acts, or is seriously and /or permanently physically harmed/abused.
Now I feel a little like I just got called a monster. Some of this is subjective I guess. I will probably re-write to include more inner experience of the "victim," and maybe tone it down a bit to make it less rough. But is it really good to emphasize that the victim really enjoys being violated? I've entered very murky territory indeed.
 
So thanks for all your input. It was very instructive and helpful. I submitted three stories. 2 were accepted ( Simone and the photo shoot & Stephen )and one rejected. The rejected one ... I got feedback that was a little confusing. The first item was a question: now there's not actually a way to reply to this feedback. If there was, my reply would be "no." "No, there was not an underage character engaging in sexual activity.

The second bit was a little less clear:

Now I feel a little like I just got called a monster. Some of this is subjective I guess. I will probably re-write to include more inner experience of the "victim," and maybe tone it down a bit to make it less rough. But is it really good to emphasize that the victim really enjoys being violated? I've entered very murky territory indeed.

There is a genre of consent-non-consent play where people can "play" at kidnapping and rape fantasies in a safe context - a safe word can still be used at any time etc. And while, the "victim" may be terrified on some level, it is also something they very much want to experience and they do, I believe, feel aroused and thrilled from these encounters. Perhaps this is the context in which to frame your stories?
 
If you have the stories written down then they are there. If you publish them then they are out there.

First write them, then take your time to decide to put it out or not. The problem is once it is out you can't take it back.

sissy would probably read it, sissy likes that kind of read.
You can always keep the stories stored, you do not have to throw them out. Even if you do not publish you may enjoy the read in years to come.

sissy knows this may not be much help be it is honest.
 
Cascadia is on target. There is a surprising level of interest in Consensual Non-Consent both in fiction and as a subset of BDSM play. When I first encountered it, I was more than a little caught off guard. But I came to appreciate the degree of trust embodied in a woman simply admitting that she was interested in CNC play, let alone desired to engage in it.

If you decide to try your hand at CNC stories, remember that to be accepted for publication, Lit requires that your "victim" comes to enjoy or desire the act performed. Sort of like happy endings are a requirement in paranormal romances, except not making it clear that your "victim" lives it will get you rejected.
 
Thanks again

I just love reading the comments in this thread and others in this sub-forum. Normally I am a sarcastic curmudgeon, but I am not being sarcastic. It just feels so good to read clear headed, intelligent, and compassionate thoughts on these things a lot of us are probably fairly private about in our personal lives.

Anyway, I re-worked my rejected story to address the concerns mentioned by the ... whoever reviews these things and it was accepted. Re-writing is generally a good experience anyway.

Shimmy Shack

My other two stories I have published here as a newbie are

Simone and the photo shoot

and

Stephen

I have no friggin idea why my short story titles all start with an S. Maybe its a thing.
 
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