I think my wife is submissive.. what now?

daverp219

Virgin
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Jan 19, 2018
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I am starting to see submissive tendencies in my wife, but she says she has no interest to learn about it.

How do i go about introducing this into our relationship to see if it is really something for us?
 
You asked her if she had an interest and she said no.

I would say you have your answer.
 
^ I agree wholeheartedly.

You brought it up, she said no, claiming to “ see submissive tendencies “ in her is just projecting what you want.

Besides, from the looks of your sig, it seems like you’ve got all your ducks in a row.
 
You asked her, she said no.
You asked total strangers, and we said respect what she says.

You want to talk to yourself, go right ahead.
The voices in your head just may keep answering you.
 
I think that she is submissive, but thinks it may be weird to admit it

Perhaps so, but even if that is the situation, it's still up to her to decide if/when she feels comfortable enough to explore it. Trying to push her is unlikely to go in a good direction for either of you.

footnote: it's also possible that she's submissive, but doesn't feel safe enough to go there. You might want to think about whether there's any reason she might have difficulty trusting you.
 
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If she said "no" to your approach - then it's pretty much a no. Then again, it depends on how you ask and what you propose.

You can try and let it rest, then breach the subject some other time. Maybe be more specific next time, in asking about what you want to try. Pick something harmless - not a rope bondage but something simpler and effortless for her.

If she says no to that - well, you prbably DON'T have a submissive wife then.
OR she doesn't want to do it with you.

One thing you absolutely don't want to do - is sneak things up on her, or try to ease her into it without her agreeing. This never goes well, as far as I know.

______
A bit of another note: Fantasies doesn't always mean wanting to introduce them to reality. She may have submissive fantasies, true, but she may not be ready or wanting to bring them into life. She may never be.

For example, I have a bunch of very sadistic fantasies. Cruel ones, even. But if I was approached and asked if I want to make them happen, with no strings attached and no consequences - I'd probably still refuse. My fantasies are hardcore, but many people would treat more harmless dreams like that - enjoying them in their own head but never indulging them.

And this is fine. You shouldn't think that it'd be all for the better if you somehow push such a person into fulfilling them.
 
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I do feel your pain. Being a dominant without a submissive feels just as pathetic and shameful as being a submissive without a dominant, especislly from within the confines of an existing relationship, and particularly so for men.

Sucks to be us. But, be careful not to let that pity party subsume your identity as a partner in your relationship. This kind of thing has a tendency to have a severe impact on marriages.

Why do you feel that it is harder for men?
 
So I am sure you are aware that female dominantes are sometimes also vilified for not sticking to gender traditional roles.
 
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