Subspace

N2outdoors

Literotica Guru
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Nov 29, 2008
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I’ve read comments in here about subspace, and of course I’ve researched it a little. I would like for Litbmembers to describe what subspace is to them. How do you achieve it? Perhaps describe the first time you were in subspace.
 
out of body experience

to me subspace was like an out of body experience, a numbness, I couldn't speak just tingling. I haven't reached it through pain yet, I cant relax enough but my last dominant could just look at me and touch me to take me out of myself
 
to me subspace was like an out of body experience, a numbness, I couldn't speak just tingling. I haven't reached it through pain yet, I cant relax enough but my last dominant could just look at me and touch me to take me out of myself

Thank you for your reply. Do you know what it was about that particular Dom that caused you to react to him in such a way?
 
First time I was dominated, subspace. “Can I blindfold you?” Down the rabbit hole. “Spread your legs” while a rope felt softly at my throat”, deeper down rabbit hole.

I am lucky that filthy language, suggestions can send me reeling.

Subspace to me, is a heady, meditative state . Similar to transcendental meditation. Hypnotic state. That being said. I have always made dominants promise to keep an eye on time, etc. I will loose all track of time. I also have to set strategies up with Dominant re: anything pain related or potential for marks. My pain tolerance soars.
 
For me, subspace is like a dissociative state. My body is there being beaten or whatever, but my mind, while aware of what's going on, is not really part of it. Sometimes I even forget where I am, even if I can see it. I almost always end up crying, probably a reaction to endorphins, especially if my Dom speaks gently to me.
 
*

Subspace has certainly nothing to do with orgasm but is an altered state of mind. It's described by those above very well – it's where the body and mind enter a lax sense of self and existence as if they can't tell the difference between themselves and the world around them. A type of blending happens where their consciousness is abandoned and they experience another dimension of being, a euphoria or a sense of release. This can impact on emotions – the spectrum of sadness to happiness – heightening them, bringing the deep-seated ones to the surface, which can also have a healing effect. It is an exceptionally vulnerable state, and you would never want to enter it unless you 100% trust the people/person you are with.

I don't want to have romantic relationships with my subs so I don't indulge in this practice because it is very powerful and I find it makes subs fall in love with you. Subspace can become an addiction too, both for the giver and receiver. I wouldn't advise anyone to practice this unless they already have a romantic or committed relationship with each other. The bond that it can create is amazing but it needs to be practiced in SSC atmosphere.

:kiss:
 
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I'll agree with the above. I had no idea WHAT it was the first time experienced. Yes, it is absolutely addictive to me.
For me, it is... My mind is off. If my mind thinks at 100 miles an hour all day every day, it is hibernation mode...but feelings sensation to me are conversely amplified. Everything experienced in subspace thus far is experienced positively, even if it would normally frighten me I'm all in. For that reason I agree, I'd never intentionally go there unless I trust who I'm with. Consent must be before that or its invalid. I don't do drugs or drink....but I think its darn close to that probably.

How did I get there? I loved the down the rabbit hole analogy up there. It was stages for me too.
First time was the first time I was rimmed and I had never done any form of anal play. Holy ...wow. The partner I was with recognized it, and brought me out of it. The next session he intentionally put me in it. Anything with my back/ neck, and behind side with the right setting of a play session. He then worked over a couple sessions to get me to associate a play collar and lead with subspace. I needed a physical anchor...touch. It was important to me.
We did some impact play and sensation play while "under" and ... Some things that are mine to know.

I do think it created a bond, though not sure I'd call it love.
 
I'll agree with the above. I had no idea WHAT it was the first time experienced. Yes, it is absolutely addictive to me.
For me, it is... My mind is off. If my mind thinks at 100 miles an hour all day every day, it is hibernation mode...but feelings sensation to me are conversely amplified. Everything experienced in subspace thus far is experienced positively, even if it would normally frighten me I'm all in. For that reason I agree, I'd never intentionally go there unless I trust who I'm with. Consent must be before that or its invalid. I don't do drugs or drink....but I think its darn close to that probably.

How did I get there? I loved the down the rabbit hole analogy up there. It was stages for me too.
First time was the first time I was rimmed and I had never done any form of anal play. Holy ...wow. The partner I was with recognized it, and brought me out of it. The next session he intentionally put me in it. Anything with my back/ neck, and behind side with the right setting of a play session. He then worked over a couple sessions to get me to associate a play collar and lead with subspace. I needed a physical anchor...touch. It was important to me.
We did some impact play and sensation play while "under" and ... Some things that are mine to know.

I do think it created a bond, though not sure I'd call it love.
Thank you for being so honest and transparent. I hope to learn a lot here about how to create subspace for my wife. If you don’t mind sharing, what did your Dom donto set the scene. I’d like to hear more about creating a scene, so you don’t need to limit it to that one person or experience. Thank you for sharing.
 
I think tops/ Dom's/Dommes would be better answering that question.
I was only ever *with* that partner in a D/s sense IRL. I've never found anyone else worth it/ trustworthy. He passed away, sadly.
I know for us, it was less "setting" a scene, and more our whole dynamic. I can't really explain that except to say; everything about him from the minute I was around him put me where I liked to be. Not everyone or every "Dom" has that effect on me...I've only met 3 or 4 people in my life that do. So I guess for me it is an extension of that. The submissive side is on, and then he created a time and place for my mind to turn off, and just exist. I guess if I had to say that anything was Paramount it would be trust. The absolute belief that he had everything under control, everything thought out, and I had nothing to worry about. Nothing mundane ( think dinner or kids) and nothing major ( oh my god someone might walk in) and physical safety (belief that he understood and respected limits etc). If I had something to worry about them I'd probably have clung to that.

Sorry I can't be more help.
 
The first time I got my wife into subspace it was unplanned...I had read about it, mostly here, so I was "almost" prepared. I say almost because a large part of me wasn't sure it was a real thing. (I no longer have doubts LOL). I probably also ended the experience quite short out of concern for her. It was a very vulnerable state to see her in and it triggered the "Daddy" in me and I had to be sure she was doing OK.

I can't speak personally on what it was like, but she described it as an out of body experience, that in that space/time I could have done anything I wanted. It took several minutes before she could even speak and then it was like she was waking up even though her eyes were open the whole time.

To me she seemed drunk, I had to carry her to the bathroom when she realized she had to go and couldn't walk steady on her own. Afterwards it was a great experience, but in the moment I must admit I was caught a bit off guard and it scared me a little seeing it for the first time.

It was much better each time after that, both of us knowing what to expect. I have found the route to get her there is always different. Sometimes its pain, sometimes pleasure, sometimes a mixture of the 2 (though I guess technically its all pleasure to her in the moment), there has always been some sort of restraints involved when I got her there as well so I assume for now that is a necessary ingredient for us, not that I mind that at all.
 
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The first time I got my wife into subspace it was unplanned...I had read about it, mostly here, so I was "almost" prepared. I say almost because a large part of me wasn't sure it was a real thing. (I no longer have doubts LOL). I probably also ended the experience quite short out of concern for her. It was a very vulnerable state to see her in and it triggered the "Daddy" in me and I had to be sure she was doing OK.

I can't speak personally on what it was like, but she described it as an out of body experience, that in that space/time I could have done anything I wanted. It took several minutes before she could even speak and then it was like she was waking up even though her eyes were open the whole time.

To me she seemed drunk, I had to carry her to the bathroom when she realized she had to go and couldn't walk steady on her own. Afterwards it was a great experience, but in the moment I must admit I was caught a bit off guard and it scared me a little seeing it for the first time.

It was much better each time after that, both of us knowing what to expect. I have found the route to get her there is always different. Sometimes its pain, sometimes pleasure, sometimes a mixture of the 2 (though I guess technically its all pleasure to her in the moment), there has always been some sort of restraints involved when I got her there as well so I assume for now that is a necessary ingredient for us, not that I mind that at all.
Thank you so much for your reply. It was exactly what I needed. We don’t play with BDSM often, so I have had my doubts about it being real. You have given me hope. I really want to see my wife enjoy something that much. Can you share more details about what it took to get her there? A PM is fine if you don’t want to post it. I am sure it will require restraints for us as well. My wife squirted for the very first time after some lengthy foreplay, restraints, spanking and of course some alcohol. We added an element of exhibitiomism and she squirted, which took us both by surprise.
 
Like you we don’t practice BDSM what I would consider often. One major factor at least for us getting to subspace is time. It’s like a slow build up. The one way I can describe it is making her want what I am going to do next well before I start doing it. I recall once early on I had her standing naked, blindfolded, with hands tied over head to the bed railing. I teased her to the point she was trying to remove my pants with her feet which got her a well deserved spanking. I find it works great with the riding crop as well. Using it gently with light taps or smacks until I know she wants more but always trying to give her just less than she wants. Usually with the crop (it’s the only spanking tool I have gotten comfortable with other than my hand) if that is going to get her there I can feel it. It’s like a connection that is really hard to explain and can make it difficult to restrain yourself as well. With each smack I can almost feel the pleasure she gets from it. I can usually tell she has started down the hole when she stops gasping with the smacks of the crop. Her body will still react but she goes quiet. Funny thing is. My wife hates to be tickled but in that moment a feather or letting the soft leather crop gently run down her back or stomach just launches her in deeper. Many things that work for us we found out by accident. Most nights would make a better comedy skit than erotica story.
I don’t think I have ever had a plan go as planned. So now scenes are very loosely planned. One bad whack with a crop and it could lose its effectiveness for the night weather it’s in my head or hers, if something becomes awkward or not pleasurable be willing to toss that particular item or action aside and try something else at least for that day. Some nights I will use almost every toy we own and some nights whatever I pick up first is the only toy we need. Hell I bought a flogger about a year ago and I have never used it on her.

I hope I helped. I feel like I just rambled on half asleep I will attempt to proof read in the morning before the grammar police get me lol
 
Like you we don’t practice BDSM what I would consider often. One major factor at least for us getting to subspace is time. It’s like a slow build up. The one way I can describe it is making her want what I am going to do next well before I start doing it. I recall once early on I had her standing naked, blindfolded, with hands tied over head to the bed railing. I teased her to the point she was trying to remove my pants with her feet which got her a well deserved spanking. I find it works great with the riding crop as well. Using it gently with light taps or smacks until I know she wants more but always trying to give her just less than she wants. Usually with the crop (it’s the only spanking tool I have gotten comfortable with other than my hand) if that is going to get her there I can feel it. It’s like a connection that is really hard to explain and can make it difficult to restrain yourself as well. With each smack I can almost feel the pleasure she gets from it. I can usually tell she has started down the hole when she stops gasping with the smacks of the crop. Her body will still react but she goes quiet. Funny thing is. My wife hates to be tickled but in that moment a feather or letting the soft leather crop gently run down her back or stomach just launches her in deeper. Many things that work for us we found out by accident. Most nights would make a better comedy skit than erotica story.
I don’t think I have ever had a plan go as planned. So now scenes are very loosely planned. One bad whack with a crop and it could lose its effectiveness for the night weather it’s in my head or hers, if something becomes awkward or not pleasurable be willing to toss that particular item or action aside and try something else at least for that day. Some nights I will use almost every toy we own and some nights whatever I pick up first is the only toy we need. Hell I bought a flogger about a year ago and I have never used it on her.

I hope I helped. I feel like I just rambled on half asleep I will attempt to proof read in the morning before the grammar police get me lol

I love hearing about you and your wife. It is familiar and loving. Thanks for this post.

I can’t write about subspace.
It’s too intimate.
 
I love hearing about you and your wife. It is familiar and loving. Thanks for this post.

I can’t write about subspace.
It’s too intimate.

I am glad to hear someone likes to hear our adventures. I find I can talk about anything with anyone if I have reason. My wife is the same as you. She won’t even go into any details with her best friend other than when they compared frequency because her friend thought she wasn’t getting it enough.
She knows I chatter here and with 2 real life friends that it has came up with for some reason or another. Plus the feed back here has done wonders for us so why stop:devil:
 
Like you we don’t practice BDSM what I would consider often. One major factor at least for us getting to subspace is time. It’s like a slow build up. The one way I can describe it is making her want what I am going to do next well before I start doing it. I recall once early on I had her standing naked, blindfolded, with hands tied over head to the bed railing. I teased her to the point she was trying to remove my pants with her feet which got her a well deserved spanking. I find it works great with the riding crop as well. Using it gently with light taps or smacks until I know she wants more but always trying to give her just less than she wants. Usually with the crop (it’s the only spanking tool I have gotten comfortable with other than my hand) if that is going to get her there I can feel it. It’s like a connection that is really hard to explain and can make it difficult to restrain yourself as well. With each smack I can almost feel the pleasure she gets from it. I can usually tell she has started down the hole when she stops gasping with the smacks of the crop. Her body will still react but she goes quiet. Funny thing is. My wife hates to be tickled but in that moment a feather or letting the soft leather crop gently run down her back or stomach just launches her in deeper. Many things that work for us we found out by accident. Most nights would make a better comedy skit than erotica story.
I don’t think I have ever had a plan go as planned. So now scenes are very loosely planned. One bad whack with a crop and it could lose its effectiveness for the night weather it’s in my head or hers, if something becomes awkward or not pleasurable be willing to toss that particular item or action aside and try something else at least for that day. Some nights I will use almost every toy we own and some nights whatever I pick up first is the only toy we need. Hell I bought a flogger about a year ago and I have never used it on her.

I hope I helped. I feel like I just rambled on half asleep I will attempt to proof read in the morning before the grammar police get me lol
You were very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post. I am soaking every comment in and trying to learn as much as possible.
 
The first time I experienced it, it was brought about by a combination of pain and the circumstance in which that happened (which was very specifically linked to the person I was with). The best description I could think of was like having morphine - and I did some investigating afterwards, and apparently the endorphins released are very similar. It's an amazing feeling, but I never go looking for it ... I think that might be a bit dangerous.
 
Subspace actually is downtime for the sub. Where they recuperate from play. As well during this time cuddling and good food should be available. Overload from play subspace is a retreat where they can regroup.
 
subspace (see aftercare, “floating”, sub drop): A “natural high” that a bottom may experience during an intense physical or emotional. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that the Dominant takes responsibility for the submissive and care for their well-being while they are in subspace. Subspace can vary widely between submissives and in any sub’s reaction to a given “scene”. The degree and length of “floating” can be used to gauge how strongly s/he was affected by the “scene”.
 
i love the bad comedy skit comment. if You aren’t prepared to laugh it’s not a good relationship.
 
The first time I experienced it, it was brought about by a combination of pain and the circumstance in which that happened (which was very specifically linked to the person I was with). The best description I could think of was like having morphine - and I did some investigating afterwards, and apparently the endorphins released are very similar. It's an amazing feeling, but I never go looking for it ... I think that might be a bit dangerous.

It's very addictive. The entire next day I slept it what felt like lovely but hazy, drug-induced sleep. And then a couple days later I crashed mentally for a bit. I don't think I've ever entered that deep of a subspace since.

I guess if I had to offer any advice would be after care doesn't always just mean immediately after. When I crashed, the person I had partnered with checked in on me every couple of days. He knew it was the first time I had experienced that and wanted to make sure I was okay. I was glad he did - he was able to talk me through some of those down feelings I was having and encouraged me to do research on subspace and the aftereffects.
 
Rabbit hole

As others have said, it was a trip down the rabbit hole.

About 19 year old, I had a petite fwb. She gave fantastic hand jobs. Could edge me for 3-4 hours.

I'd be a leaking, gasping, begging mess.do anything she instructed.

I quickly came to adore it, the teasing and denial was better than the orgasm I was eventually allowed.



I should've married that girl.
 
It's very addictive. The entire next day I slept it what felt like lovely but hazy, drug-induced sleep. And then a couple days later I crashed mentally for a bit. I don't think I've ever entered that deep of a subspace since.

I guess if I had to offer any advice would be after care doesn't always just mean immediately after. When I crashed, the person I had partnered with checked in on me every couple of days. He knew it was the first time I had experienced that and wanted to make sure I was okay. I was glad he did - he was able to talk me through some of those down feelings I was having and encouraged me to do research on subspace and the aftereffects.

Thank you so much for all of your insight. Very informative.
Of
 
As others have said, it was a trip down the rabbit hole.

About 19 year old, I had a petite fwb. She gave fantastic hand jobs. Could edge me for 3-4 hours.

I'd be a leaking, gasping, begging mess.do anything she instructed.

I quickly came to adore it, the teasing and denial was better than the orgasm I was eventually allowed.



I should've married that girl.[/QUOTE
I second that, sounds like an awesome woman.
 
For me it was different. I was calm,serene and at peace. The world ceased to exist except for my Miss. There was no heat,no cold just Her.
I've never felt more loved and yet nothing more than an extension of her.
 
As others have said, it was a trip down the rabbit hole.

About 19 year old, I had a petite fwb. She gave fantastic hand jobs. Could edge me for 3-4 hours.

I'd be a leaking, gasping, begging mess.do anything she instructed.

I quickly came to adore it, the teasing and denial was better than the orgasm I was eventually allowed.



I should've married that girl.[/QUOTE
I second that, sounds like an awesome woman.

She is, we still keep in touch.

If we'd have met 5-10 years later, we'd have married.

However, we were never interested in each other at the same time.

Just friends who came together.
 
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