Why do we like being submissive?

I'm in control for 90% of my day. I raise my kids and run the household. For me it's letting go for a while to let someone else take control. It's never come easy for me, I find it hard to submit without a good reason. I trust 2 people in this world enough to stand under their flogger: My Master, and a very good friend Top of ours. And the Top, while I respect his dominance, I do not address with a title. I am submissive, I crave to serve and please my Master, and I need the pain he likes to inflict. But I'm not submissive to everyone, I feel like if I were to submit to every Dom, Sir, Master, my submission to my Master would be diminished.

I submit to him because I trust him and my submission pleases him. I'm his outlet as much as he is mine, and for a while I get to unplug and not have to think about every little thing.
I was reading your post in the form, Why do we like being submissive? you stated that to submit to every dom etc etc would diminish your masters position. not sure if you have done or would do but what if your master told you to serve another man or to please another, would you? how would you feel about that? thanks for answering.
 
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.

For me it is freedom. He is the one who quiets my mind. I only feel, and get lost in his words, commands, his touch. No matter what we are doing.... He quiets my mind and frees my soul.
 
All great responses to how individuals feel and relate to being a submissive. I appreciate this is out of context to the thread title;

With a partner I find it is the chemistry first and foremost. There is a connection, that does not necessarily need to be all about sex. A partner has to have trust in me, to have confidence that ultimately she will be safe,while she gives me control.

It is not 24/7, but often a shared knowledge time, situation and circumstances align. It can be intuitive. The key for me with a submissive is a shared experience where at times boundaries cold be pushed.
 
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jesseyedid -yes

So wonderfully eloquent Jessey -- floating / delivered into orgasm.
Thank you!

G

It's like religion to me being taken without reservations. Giving to the powerful all of what is me and losing my sense of self. It's like floating in the universe to be delivered with an orgasm, a reflex in which there is no need to ask, just to be. To have someone have an orgasm and be there with me, oh yep its a quorum.
 
I am in control of every aspect of my life. I have been in professional positions of authority and have experienced great success in that arena. Personally, to find that one person that I could trust, on a level that is indescribable and to submit myself to him, emotionally and sexualy, would be a release that I can only dream of. A safe place to allow my mind total freedom and just let go because I would know he would always have my best interest at heart. It's the dream. And knowing that I would be pleasing him as he would be attending to me would just add to the intensity. It's not about pain or humiliation for me. It's about trust, a true equality of intellect, mutual respect and adoration along with a healthy dose of time to let it all build.
 
I have always been in control. In undergrad, in my masters degree, at my job as a therapist. Always in control, always making the decisions. I have a toddler, I'm always in control. My ex husband was offered my submission and I really wanted him to take it. I gave it to the best of my ability but well, he wasn't so into women. I gave my submission to my dear FWB and he took it and ran with it.

I feel amazing being controlled. I crave and desire it. I want my orgasms controlled, my behavior controlled. I have a desire to please. A strong desire to please. If I've disappointed the one in control, I feel terrible. I work hard at doing exactly as told.

For me, it's what I need and it feels good. I'd gladly go days and days without cumming if it would please the guy.

I know some will think this is crazy thinking but it's nice to let go and let someone take over.
 
I have always been in control. In undergrad, in my masters degree, at my job as a therapist. Always in control, always making the decisions. I have a toddler, I'm always in control. My ex husband was offered my submission and I really wanted him to take it. I gave it to the best of my ability but well, he wasn't so into women. I gave my submission to my dear FWB and he took it and ran with it.

I feel amazing being controlled. I crave and desire it. I want my orgasms controlled, my behavior controlled. I have a desire to please. A strong desire to please. If I've disappointed the one in control, I feel terrible. I work hard at doing exactly as told.

For me, it's what I need and it feels good. I'd gladly go days and days without cumming if it would please the guy.

I know some will think this is crazy thinking but it's nice to let go and let someone take over.

We need your boob size to complete the indexing in post your boobs and bra size.
So what is the size of your beautiful tits?
 
We need your boob size to complete the indexing in post your boobs and bra size.
So what is the size of your beautiful tits?


How is *that* important? I've posted pictures. Listed size. Feel free to search my posts.
 
I expect the Dom to exceed my expectations and desires. I also want to feel their immense desire for being in power over me. I can surrender to that. Lastly, there's the desire in me to please.
 
I'm a cocksucker. I serve at the behest and under the direction of men who are my superiors by virtue of the size of their cocks. I feel a deep obligation to give blowjobs and swallow the semen of any man whose cock is larger than my own pathetic erect little 3 inch penis. Their enhanced virility entitles them to command me to suck their cocks and the cocks of their friends whenever and wherever they desire and to use my mouth as a receptacle for their semen.
 
So much this!! I've tried about 5 different ways to put it into words, but it's hard to explain. It's just a part of who I am at my core.

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. I hate the question, "So, when did you know you were submissive?" Uhm, always? I have always known. 😂
 
Why do I like being submissive? I don't, actually. Sub males outnumber truly dominant women by some insanely high amount...like a million to one, it seems. Being sub complicates my life, and makes me wish for vanilla.
 
I only ever give up control for defined periods of time, and only ever sexually ... but in those times, I love being wanted so much that he wants to claim me so completely. It's sort of narcissistic.
But also, I love giving him that feeling, that he has that time of knowing he's in control, that I'm his - all I can really give him is me, so he gets that, even if just briefly.
And finally, it feels warm and safe, that I can trust someone that much.

I am a male and this speaks quite well for me. I am in control of so much in my life that it just feels like a complete release to give myself completely to my wife in our sex lives. The trust between us is complete and we both know we are safe in our own little world.
When she takes control, I am in heaven and will do absolutely anything she wants. She is gentle and loving, never humiliating. She knows what she wants and she gets exactly what she wants, when and where she wants. We are both exhibitionists to a small extent. We don't do things that would get us arrested but, we like to take it out of the bedroom at times.
It is wonderful to trust her with my most secret and private thoughts and desires.
 
I'm a cocksucker. I serve at the behest and under the direction of men who are my superiors by virtue of the size of their cocks. I feel a deep obligation to give blowjobs and swallow the semen of any man whose cock is larger than my own pathetic erect little 3 inch penis. Their enhanced virility entitles them to command me to suck their cocks and the cocks of their friends whenever and wherever they desire and to use my mouth as a receptacle for their semen.

Love this
 
white men servicing black

Sterculius,
You are correct. Us small dicked men need to accept the fact that we are inferior to men with large cocks. I'd venture to add that white men should also submit to the superior black man by offering their wives for their pleasure and we must be prepared to service and clean up as well. Obviously this is the cuckold in me speaking out and does not apply to all white men, just the pin dicked variety. Swallowing their sperm proves our love to our wives and cements our place in the pecking order. Be well.
 
I'm very new to being a sub. My Master and I haven't gone beyond the extensive communication required to determine my hard limits and such although we have plans to fix that very soon. He just makes me want to have him tell me what he wants of me and I feel a great need to respond obediently.

I never thought in my life I would not only willingly call a man Master but be happy and enthusiastic about it. I am his pet and I want to be the best, most obedient pet ever. Otherwise, I am a very independent and strong-minded woman.

I doubt I could ever submit to another man like I do to my Master, even to the limited degree I have so far. I can handle very little in the way of pain and spent too many years in an abusive marriage to be able to handle humiliation. But he plans to train me to be the best pet I can be. He understands and is considerate of my physical limitations but wants to heal me and make me stronger in order that our pairing will be that much stronger.

He treats me with such respect and consideration. He is caring and compassionate. He is also very dominant and manly. I don't think I would feel the same desire to submit completely to him as I do if he didn't have all of these qualities.
 
Why do we like it?

Well, I have been told that the way we are brought up is that girls should be good and not behave slutty or show too much sexually and by being more submissive it's a way to let your slutty , naughty side out without being seen as the naughtier one.
I don't know if it's true but I do make some sense of it I guess.
 
secret sluttiness

Well, I have been told that the way we are brought up is that girls should be good and not behave slutty or show too much sexually and by being more submissive it's a way to let your slutty , naughty side out without being seen as the naughtier one.
I don't know if it's true but I do make some sense of it I guess.

So is that how you are? Not behaving slutty in an obvious way and then allowing your submissiveness to give you a sort of permission to be slutty?

Why are your messages turned off!
 
I'm very new to being a sub. My Master and I haven't gone beyond the extensive communication required to determine my hard limits and such although we have plans to fix that very soon. He just makes me want to have him tell me what he wants of me and I feel a great need to respond obediently.

I never thought in my life I would not only willingly call a man Master but be happy and enthusiastic about it. I am his pet and I want to be the best, most obedient pet ever. Otherwise, I am a very independent and strong-minded woman.

I doubt I could ever submit to another man like I do to my Master, even to the limited degree I have so far. I can handle very little in the way of pain and spent too many years in an abusive marriage to be able to handle humiliation. But he plans to train me to be the best pet I can be. He understands and is considerate of my physical limitations but wants to heal me and make me stronger in order that our pairing will be that much stronger.

He treats me with such respect and consideration. He is caring and compassionate. He is also very dominant and manly. I don't think I would feel the same desire to submit completely to him as I do if he didn't have all of these qualities.


You are very lucky! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol
 
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You are very luck! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol

There are Dominants...there are Sadists...there are Narcissists. It sounds like you've encountered the Narcissist/Sadist in the past. Just from reading your post, I get the picture of you just wanting to surrender yourself to a kind man who is able to dominate you with care, love and concern for you as a special human being. This is a normal desire. I would suggest that you think about what kind of dominant man you would create if you could...then go out and try to find him! Truly, submission and domination is mostly in the mind. The actions/words are just tools to express what's inside. And like two people playing music together, the players must be playing the same tune.

In regard to the stupid messages; Your original choice of user name sets you up as a target for the kind of men you are not seeking. I would suggest a new account, or send Laural a message for a name change. (Choosing the wrong name is not uncommon, and when we first sign up attracting weirdos wasn't on our mind.)
 
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It's freeing its like floating on a river letting the Sun soak into your skin. The best gift that can be received is the joy of serving your partner and making them proud to posses you. Its beautiful.
 
You are very luck! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol


Great post! Drop me a PM if you care to some time.
 
Why do I like being submissive? I don't, actually. Sub males outnumber truly dominant women by some insanely high amount...like a million to one, it seems. Being sub complicates my life, and makes me wish for vanilla.

You know, I feel the same way you do. For me, it's just the way I am, and not necessarily the way I want to be. "Be happy with who you are" they say, where I say instead, why not try and improve yourself? For those in a fulfilling relationship with a dominant partner, being submissive, it is a beautiful thing, something to be treasured.

The thing is, as a submissive male, I have kinks, sexual fantasies that most women find unacceptable or at worst, perverted- we've all read about those types of male-sub fantasies (BDSM, cuckolding, spanking, watersports, etc) on this site. So I have grown ashamed of having these type of thoughts even though, when I first got into it, I once relished them.

Ultimately I want what everyone wants deep down inside: love, closeness, and companionship, in a deeply satisfying and mutually fulfilling long term relationship. If being a submissive male with kinky fantasies is an obstacle to finding this, then these are things I am willing to work on letting go of. At this point, I just do not think it is possible for me to be a sub-male kinkster and still have a mutually fulfilling relationship.

So yes, it complicates my life too, and also makes me wish for vanilla. But like a bad drug, these male-sub/femdom fantasies are addictingly delicious... it is refreshing to talk about this with other people on this site (and thanks to all you guys's support.)
 
You are very luck! I've been wanting to find a Dom like this for so long. I have had four in the last 20 years, none very considerate or really understanding and I now question if I am a sub anymore because of it. I am tired of being treated like a nonentity. I take care of others and have my whole life, but in a relationship I am treated like a human piece of garbage and I understand I brought that on myself. But if I'm not a sub, I no longer know what the hell I am. I love having that strong man lead me and own me, but it always seems to come at a price. With disrespect and little regard for my feelings or safety. I have never felt this uncertain about anything in my life. I'm tired of men sending me the most disrespectful and truly disgusting messages on here too. I feel I am having an identity crisis! lol

I feel like I wrote this. Lol.
I don't understand these PMs that go straight into Little girl and are bizarre to the point of being funny. I keep wondering that if this makes me feel like punching them in the nose, am I even truly submissive? I am confused as well and I just wish I had found the right Dom for me.
 
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