Why do we like being submissive?

Being true to who you are is the only way to true happiness. Does every sub enjoy that they are this way?....i'm sure some aren't.....especially if they try to repress and deny their real self. It not always an easy blessing to live with.

mel

How true - It might have taken a while for me to realize my true self but realizing and accepting my submissive nature ans opened opportunities for fulfillment and self worth that were beyond my greatest expectations.

Agreed, it has not always been an easy blessing to live with but doing so has been worth it.
 
Pleasing

When I feel my submissive side, it is the desire to please that drives me. Perhaps this is part of a need for acceptance, I don't know. But it is strong and sometimes subsumes everything. Making someone cum is heaven to me

I remember once when a I told a friend who was a Dom, more out of lust than submission, that I would fuck her or go down on her anytime, all she had to do was ask. She laughed and said I don't ask. Your wish is my command then, I said. Be careful what you ask for.

Months later, after not hearing from her for quite some time, she sent me a text. Come now. My office. She worked for an NGO across town, almost near Orly. I stopped grading papers and jumped on the metro.

I went to her office. her secretary let me in. A young woman, an intern, I learned later, sat on one side of the desk. My friend leaned back in her chair, wearing a short skirt, her legs spread. Without a word from either of us, I dropped to my knees, pulled of her panties, and began to lick her thighs. Her intern had moved behind me, watching. I pulled off her panties, blue as I recall, and she pushed my face into her pussy, so I dispensed with the preliminaries and began fucking her with my tongue. There were sounds around me but I paid them no heed, just kept eating her. Eventually, my tongue found her g spot my lips had her clit, and she came strong and beautifully all over my face. After she caught her breath, she pointed to the door and I left. It was the hottest moment of my life.

We repeated this a few times throughout that summer, my inner sub awakened. Always wordless sex, always someone watching.

She moved to Malawi to do some work in the field and I have not heard from her in quite some time. But her wish is still my command. That pleases me.
 
It's a love/hate kind of deal...bliss when in a relationship, but kinda lonely when not. I'm male. I'm sub. It's who and what I am, so completely that I'm barely functional in a vanilla lashup. :(
 
I only ever give up control for defined periods of time, and only ever sexually ... but in those times, I love being wanted so much that he wants to claim me so completely. It's sort of narcissistic.
But also, I love giving him that feeling, that he has that time of knowing he's in control, that I'm his - all I can really give him is me, so he gets that, even if just briefly.
And finally, it feels warm and safe, that I can trust someone that much.
 
i think my ego is beyond humiliation. having said that, my Master would never wish to humiliate me, He made it clear from the beginning it was a partnership. He dominates, i submit.

The feelings i get when i am tied, held down with his foot, whipped or fucked or simply enfolded in his arms is one of protection, safety and peace.
 
loss of control

It's like religion to me being taken without reservations. Giving to the powerful all of what is me and losing my sense of self. It's like floating in the universe to be delivered with an orgasm, a reflex in which there is no need to ask, just to be. To have someone have an orgasm and be there with me, oh yep its a quorum.
 
I want to be taken control of and beaten. Not sure about the humiliation, as I was brutally bullied not sure how I would take it

Have not done bdsm as of yet, but I am trying to get into it
 
Why do we like being submissive?
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.

You know what? I truly don't enjoy humiliation. I can feel a positive feeling, for example, at the idea of being thrown over a man's knee. Super hot (auuhhh). But I don't think I associate a positive feeling with humiliation. I think for me, the hot & horny feeling comes from power. ... I think. I think that makes sense. Some kind of testerone-something.

Sometimes, I even enjoy the fight. The struggle. And I know that I've just challenged him... so I know what's coming. And he hits me with just the right amount of force, right on my ass. And it stings, but I start getting that physiological feeling; my Vivi (that's my nickname for my you know what ) starts swimming, and I start to get that numb, warm feeling. You know? In my thighs and surrounding areas, and in my ribs. You know those waves of hornyness when lust turns you on? Up my arm and through my fingertips I think I enjoy the power, the power from the man.

BUT!!! I'm not sure I would enjoy it if the man didn't respect me. It's like, a powerful man, who at the same time, Wants me! Respects me. Devotes to me. Wants to keep me safe. And depending on the guy, loves me. If you have that starting basis, and it's a strong foundation, being spanked is so much different. Well, it is for me anyway. I'm not gonna submit to some random fatass, jackass who doesn't give a shit about me!

Here's another reason why it's nice being dominated, playing the submissive role. I think I could learn about myself. Unfortunately, I've never had a full episode with someone who knows what he's doing. I can only dream. But he does all the work. Well, thinking-wise. And all I would have to do is follow directions and be pleasured. I'm actually really good at following people's lead.

And I am bendy, so tying me up won't hurt me. (Aauuuhh). Hey if someone would like to fill in the blank here about how you'd have your way with me, I might just masterbate over it if I like it. 😝 (Orgasm face).

Maybe I'll post more later. I have to go pick up my husband from work right now. Bye .
 
I don't always like being submissive. Sometimes it gets you hurt sometimes it forces you to stay where you should not be sometimes it is perfect. Depends on the day I suppose
 
How I'm Submissive and what I like :)

I love being submissive in the bedroom, I don't like being submissive in the whole relationship with them though because I'm an independent person and I love being free and exploring my interests. I'm always loyal to my partner though when I'm with them.

Inside the bedroom I love being teased, punished and dominated by my partner on who I'm with at the time. Love pleasing my partner and trying new things. However this is embarrassing that I haven't tried that many things. :eek:

My mind is very open to trying new things. Just need to be discussed and talked over so we're both comfortable. Hate jumping into a new things and than learning in the end that something didn't work out. Tend to get bored of the same thing over and over again. It always has to change. Hate the whole routine of things. Doesn't mean I won't try it again, I just love surprises and for them asking me if I'd like to try something new. I'm always willing on working with them. Just the feeling of going inside the bedroom and not knowing what to get from them. There's so many things that come to mind that's always been a fantasy that I haven't even did yet.

So for now they will continue to be a fantasy until I find the right partner to share those experiences with. Love taking my time getting to know the person and seeing if their the right person for me. I'm very cautious and don't just like jumping into things or else I won't feel comfortable. Communication to me is very important to me so I know what kind of kinks they have so we see if we're both on the same level. Exploring the mind is very attractive and I love a man who is intelligent. It's very attractive to me. Just bouncing off idea's, communicating and be open minded.

Okay I think I'll stop there for now. :)
 
I never thought I was the submissive type until I met Mark. I have had sex with other men but it was never like this. He just knows he can have sex with me anytime he wants even though he is not a boyfriend and never even asks me on a date. I've done things with him that I never thought I would do with anyone but I keep coming back. It's like he owns me although he doesn't abuse me in that he never does anything to me that I don't let him do (although I have never said no either) or want him to do. He has spanked me really hard, tied me up, used nipple clamps, made me choke and gag when he was in my mouth, shot all over my face and my body, given me anal and peed on me. It has been the most incredible sex I have ever had but it also scares me how much I need him.
 
I trace my enjoyment in becoming submissive to the time that my best friend Larry and I initially decided to masturbate together. This quickly evolved to include trading handjobs and ultimately blowjobs. I realized from the start that I enjoyed making him cum much more than I did having him "do" me. I couldn't admit this to him without appearing to be "gay", so I would wait for him to come up with suggestions regarding what he wanted done to him and I would volunteer to go first , knowing full well that as soon as he came, he would lose the desire to reciprocate and make some excuse about attending to my needs the next time we met, and at our next meeting I would again offer to do him first which would again result in a replay of the previous episodes. Eventually we disposed of the charade of reciprocity and it just became understood that my role was to see to his orgasms and also see to my own. I liked the way it made me feel each time I would go down on my knees to suck his cock. It also thrilled me to let him hold my head and guide my mouth up and down onto his cock, in rhythm to his escalating arousal. culminating in a mouthful of his delicious cum. I became complicit in conceiving ways in which he could "use" me to get off, offering to blow him in situations and locations where we might be seen or get caught. He ran no risk as the one getting the blowjob, whereas I was the one on my knees being shamefully throat fucked and forced to eat his scum! It quickly became obvious that I would agree to do whatever he told me to do regardless of how humiliating or embarrassing it made me feel. I loved feeling degraded and subjugated by him! I still love being used!
 
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I trace my enjoyment in becoming submissive to the time that my best friend Larry and I initially decided to masturbate together. This quickly evolved to include trading handjobs and ultimately blowjobs. I realized from the start that I enjoyed making him cum much more than I did having him "do" me. I couldn't admit this to him without appearing to be "gay", so I would wait for him to come up with suggestions regarding what he wanted done to him and I would volunteer to go first , knowing full well that as soon as he came, he would lose the desire to reciprocate and make some excuse about attending to my needs the next time we met, and at our next meeting I would again offer to do him first which would again result in a replay of the previous episodes. Eventually we disposed of the charade of reciprocity and it just became understood that my role was to see to his orgasms and also see to my own. I liked the way it made me feel each time I would go down on my knees to suck his cock. It also thrilled me to let him hold my head and guide my mouth up and down onto his cock, in rhythm to his escalating arousal. culminating in a mouthful of his delicious cum. I became complicit in conceiving ways in which he could "use" me to get off, offering to blow him in situations and locations where we might be seen or get caught. He ran no risk as the one getting the blowjob, whereas I was the one on my knees being shamefully throat fucked and forced to eat his scum! It quickly became obvious that I would agree to do whatever he told me to do regardless of how humiliating or embarrassing it made me feel. I loved feeling degraded and subjugated by him! I still love being used!


OMG This is sooooooooooooo what I want in a friend. I want to be you.......I want to be the submissive one........That is one hot story........I almost came while reading/dreaming it was me!
 
Handing another person 100% power over you is one of the most intimate things you can do. Submission happens too all couples to some extent.
 
Having sex with women has always been my default priority, but it's only in the context of giving blowjobs to other men that I become submissive. I began sucking cock as a young teen with my best friend and he enjoyed dominating me and I enjoyed letting him. It was always erotically arousing to contemplate what he would order me to do next knowing that I was obligated to obey his wishes no matter how humiliating or demeaning they were or how embarrassed doing so made me feel. I never felt so ALIVE!!!
 
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?

What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.


It took a while to get to where I am with D/s. I used to think it was all about sex. Being tied up, teased - frankly, always being the passive one. I realized quickly I'm not passive and I didn't think it was fair that my partner had to do "all the work" so to speak.

I always liked rough sex. But rough sex isn't D/s. Anyone can have rough sex. That didn't make me submissve or my partner dominant.

The aim of being submissive is to be in service to someone. In the highest sense (for me) it's putting someone's pleasure before mine because that's what makes me happy.

Within the relationship I have with my husband, who was my Dominant, this includes having him as the decision maker. This doesn't mean I've lost all control over what I wear, when I breathe or speak or pee (although that can be hot for a day...).

Instead, he's the kind of guy who loves order, who likes rules, who wants to be the boss - things I don't want to be. I live a little more chaotically, generally have no rules and I'm an incredible follower. He leads, I willingly follow. Well, it's not always that easy but the relationship works.

It's not just sexually but in the day to day world. Being submissive sexually is generally pretty easy but it makes me hot and wet and it's fun.

Thinking of myself as submissive as a whole person is a little more challenging. Having to ask him first when I want to get my haircut was a drag. But I realized he's the one who's looking at my face - he should like the way I look, right? Making sure I didn't serve regular green beans because he loves italian green beans is a real thing. They're hard to find. I had to stop swearing, which I love to do! Fuck! Apparently people don't love it as much as me.

A lot of it (for me) is simply being kind, considerate, being quiet and listening (difficult to do!). An emphasis on being more positive. I don't want to make this sound like it's all fairies and unicorns or that I was in a constant mode of him trying to fix me.

However, being submissive outside the bedroom feels good. It isn't losing control. It's actually being more in control of my thoughts, my actions but it's way more symbiotic. My thoughts and actions were shaped with my Dominant's help. It's looking at something that wasn't working in a new way.

I was single forever (10 years), had a great career, bought a house... what I'm trying to say is I'm a pretty capable chick on my own. Finding a way to unearth my submissive self has been a challenge but ultimately, I like the way it's shaped my relationships and my outlook.
 
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What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

I feel a rush of excitement and a release of stress. I don't have to worry about if the other person approves since they are in control. I am free to enjoy what is going on and take pleasure in the humiliation. I love being push outside of my limits. We can never have another first kiss, but we can get close to the experience by pushing our limits with other new acts.

It also increase the bond between my Master and I. We have to have complete trust to go to this level.
 
I've been thinking about this again lately, after spending an unprecedented three nights with my BF (after a long time of not seeing each other), and either that, or just that fact that we've been 'together' a year now, meant that we pushed the control/power dynamic in a slightly different direction. It is only in the context of sex for us - when we're out, we literally fight about which way we're holding hands, because I'm just so used to be in 'the lead', and I'd never defer to him about anything without having talked about it first. But even though the control is only in a sexual context, it's now definitely not (if it ever was) just about the sex. It's very physical, so to some extent is is more like 'rough sex', but there's a huge emotional component to it too. There more I think about it, the more I realise that the over-riding thing I get from it is a feeling of safety. I have that with my husband as well (with whom the sex is really very vanilla) - I know that he'll always look after me emotionally. But with the BF, there's a different aspect to it, where he pushes me to various limits physically, but I know I can trust him to know when it's right and when he needs to stop. He said something the other night that really stuck with me - after he's really hurt me (in all ways that I like), I just reflexively curl up into him and he wraps himself around me. We were talking about things (which we do a lot), and he said he loves the way what we do together brings me to him.
And ultimately that's what it is. I love that I can give control over my body, and I love the physical feeling of the pain, and I love a million other things about it all, but at the end of it all, it's about becoming closer. I'm sure none of this is new - I know a million other people have said much the same thing in various places. But it's new to me ... :)
 
Im not going to be as eloquent as half of you, but I was just made this way. It's who I am and I feelcthe most like myself when I'm on my knees (literally or figuratively)
 
First I am a sissy not a slave, I am submissive to the one I love.
To have her command me makes me feel useful and when I obey her a satisfaction resonates throughout my entire body.
Dressing as a sissy satisfies my inner self and generally makes me feel good. As for humiliation, for me it does not exist, all that matters is to fulfill the wishes of her and no one else matters. To be humiliated you must respect the opinions of others, for me only she matters.
 
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