First time writing, is there any hope?

Really sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I was hoping I could get some opinions from the experts. I've written a few short stories but this time decided to try something a bit longer.

I've read quite a few tips and lists online of what to do and what not to do, but it's mainly geared at non-sex writing. Although I'm sure there are similarities.

I've written a few chapters already but was wondering if I could ask any kind person with a few minutes to spare to read my opening chapter and point me in the direction of any obvious mistakes I'm making as a first time writer.

There's no sex or anything too explicit/hardcore in here, but just to warn it's a story about a gay guy into bdsm, particularly chastity belts and denial.

[Material prohibited as per forum guidelines]

This content will get removed by the Mod, as the site guideline is only a couple of paragraphs of unvetted material.

Suggest you try this forum (which is where folk go with editor questions)

http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9

Hey Klapperz, welcome!
The way to go about this is to either find an editor through the Editor's Forum, or to submit the story in its current form, and ask for feedback here on the feedback forum once it's online.

I don't have time to read your excerpt right now (and as electric blue said, it's going to be removed soon anyway), but m/m chastity is hot, hope to read your story sometime soon!

Thanks for the replies and just got the story approved on literotica:
https://www.literotica.com/s/progression-ch-01-finally