SubKekiLee
DrkSwords pet
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2007
- Posts
- 2,593
The loss and grieiving?
I have a question.... Well I guess first Ill explain my situation so you know completely and totally why I am asking this.... I have been in and out of the BDSM world primarily in the D/s world... since I was in my early 20's always splitting up into the Vanilla world cause I couldnt find a man who wanted a FT relationship in the 24/7 ways I Wanted. I recently have been living cross country from my husband, who is my soul mate for many things but doesnt see the D/s side of life. he is very Vanilla. So one night when I couldnt sleep I found an ad I anwsered, it was as if immdiately my dreams had been pushed open , I met someone I clicked with and the best part we were both married so we didnt want to end those marriages... We started chatting, emailing, im, texting and etc... and it was immenient that he was going to collar me and make me his Slut... I was estatic and so was he.... We spoke everyday almost and met online almost nightly. He told me he wasnt going to replace me when I moved to the other side of the country in fact he would be just as happy if we stayed as it was online and saw each other whenever we could. The last time we saw each other he pushed me very far into my limits. and I was in Sub heaven.... we decided at the end of the session he wouldnt call me until today ( monday) but yesterday afternoon he called me. I could tell by his voice , my heart sank.. he had received a letter from his wife that said she wanted to be his Sub and he told me, it never has worked out due to restrictions and to give him some time to see where it lead to. I was sad but I told him it was okay... I cried cause I was very emotionally attached to him and it wasnt that long we were together mayabe a month and half... and now today I am having withdrawls to no end. I am not sure why I keep having flashbacks and wants and needs.. I want to know if this is the process when you lose a Dom you really wanted to serve.. Part of me thinks he will come back and then I am faced with the deliemma of do I kneel at his side immdiately or will my trust be gone? How long will it take before I do trust him again if I take his collar again? and when will my HEART stop hurting... acckk okay well Thanks..
I have a question.... Well I guess first Ill explain my situation so you know completely and totally why I am asking this.... I have been in and out of the BDSM world primarily in the D/s world... since I was in my early 20's always splitting up into the Vanilla world cause I couldnt find a man who wanted a FT relationship in the 24/7 ways I Wanted. I recently have been living cross country from my husband, who is my soul mate for many things but doesnt see the D/s side of life. he is very Vanilla. So one night when I couldnt sleep I found an ad I anwsered, it was as if immdiately my dreams had been pushed open , I met someone I clicked with and the best part we were both married so we didnt want to end those marriages... We started chatting, emailing, im, texting and etc... and it was immenient that he was going to collar me and make me his Slut... I was estatic and so was he.... We spoke everyday almost and met online almost nightly. He told me he wasnt going to replace me when I moved to the other side of the country in fact he would be just as happy if we stayed as it was online and saw each other whenever we could. The last time we saw each other he pushed me very far into my limits. and I was in Sub heaven.... we decided at the end of the session he wouldnt call me until today ( monday) but yesterday afternoon he called me. I could tell by his voice , my heart sank.. he had received a letter from his wife that said she wanted to be his Sub and he told me, it never has worked out due to restrictions and to give him some time to see where it lead to. I was sad but I told him it was okay... I cried cause I was very emotionally attached to him and it wasnt that long we were together mayabe a month and half... and now today I am having withdrawls to no end. I am not sure why I keep having flashbacks and wants and needs.. I want to know if this is the process when you lose a Dom you really wanted to serve.. Part of me thinks he will come back and then I am faced with the deliemma of do I kneel at his side immdiately or will my trust be gone? How long will it take before I do trust him again if I take his collar again? and when will my HEART stop hurting... acckk okay well Thanks..
