Requesting feedback on a possible edit to an existing story

I’ve found myself stuck on every one of my current projects. So, with this early spring snow that has hit part of the US, I have decided to give my story Snowed In an overdue edit for grammar, and fix a few minor continuity issues while I was at it.

So, spoilers, for those who have not read, or will not read the story, the leads are two co-workers, Aaron and Maya, and they spend a night together. Aaron is recounting their story (in a way) to a group of friends, several years after the fact. He reveals that Maya quit her job after their night together, reconciling with her estranged/ex-husband. She had another child, and the story ends in a melancholy, bittersweet manner, with Aaron reflecting on his time with Maya and what could have been.

I had intended for some ambiguity regarding whether Aaron was the father of the 3rd child. I had played fast and loose with time and ages, hoping to maintain mystery about this.

While editing this piece, I decided I played too fast and loose in the original draft, and in my upcoming edit, I will nail things down a bit better. The intent for the end was to make it clear that Aaron thinks he might be the father of the unnamed child.

However, as I was completing the edit, I had a flash of inspiration for a minor but consequential detail. Were this a new story, I would just have included it, but I feel odd making a change like this to an existing story, and thought it best if I sought input.

The idea came to me of making the name of Maya's third child 'Erin.’ With this being so phonetically similar to 'Aaron’ (depending on your accent, they may be identical), I think it reinforces their connection, and her fondness for him, whatever else happened.

So my question to the community is this: given my intent that the paternity issue remain unanswered, does this over-imply that Aaron would be the father, more than leaving the child nameless? Is this too subtle? Am I overthinking this? How much have I had to drink tonight, anyway?

Fortunately, I have the answer to the last of those questions: not nearly enough. Thanks for any feedback!

yes, I love the tease with the names, it could be something or it could be nothing.
its ultimately left for the reader to decide.
I like it and the intrigue adds to the melancholy aspect of the story.
keep up the good work.

I agree, I’m a big fan of using the characters’ names to hint at what they’re like! To me, it’s one of the best ways to flesh out the characters without needing to explain a whole lot.

I actually put a lot of thought into my characters’ names. I always want the names to sound natural, but they need to be distinctive enough for the reader to remember, plus they need to be right for the character and make sense for the larger story. If I’ve done my job, then it looks easy, and the reader won’t even notice what I’m doing.

You also touched on the topic of accents— which is another great way to flesh out the character. It’s another one of those things that should be subtle, but can actually be really impactful. The way a person talks can convey where they’re from, how they grew up, their outlook on life, etc., etc., all without explaining it to death....

My question is, why do so many writers feel they must futz with their old stories?

Leave them be, they are what they are.

Your best story is the one you haven't written yet, not the last one. The danger you run, is that you end up writing one story five times, rather than five stories once.

I don't think readers care that much. They'd rather read something new - your flavour still, but give them a new ice-cream. The old one's melted, and you're just holding a soggy cone. I reckon.

electricblue66 said:

My question is, why do so many writers feel they must futz with their old stories?

Leave them be, they are what they are.

Your best story is the one you haven't written yet, not the last one. The danger you run, is that you end up writing one story five times, rather than five stories once.

I don't think readers care that much. They'd rather read something new - your flavour still, but give them a new ice-cream. The old one's melted, and you're just holding a soggy cone. I reckon.

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At the risk of sounding like a persnickety, perfectionist twat, the reason I want to return to an old story is that in spite of my initial offerings, I'm actually a persnickety, perfectionist twat. Add in the fact that the muse is a fickle, flippant bitch, and the idea of repairing a previous project seems appealing to me. Certainly more appealing at the moment than puttering around on some projects (for here or elsewhere) that I just seem to be stuck on.

In all seriousness, though, while making edits for grammar after the fact are fine, I generally don't like making actual character or story changes after something is published or otherwise presented. Seems to be a little too 'Ministry-of-Truth'-y. However, this was a subtle little adjustment that really appealed to me.

Ultimately, I decided to go through with it, and submitted the edit a few days ago. I hope to see it reposted soon.

Polyacrylate said:

At the risk of sounding like a persnickety, perfectionist twat, the reason I want to return to an old story is that in spite of my initial offerings, I'm actually a persnickety, perfectionist twat. Add in the fact that the muse is a fickle, flippant bitch, and the idea of repairing a previous project seems appealing to me. Certainly more appealing at the moment than puttering around on some projects (for here or elsewhere) that I just seem to be stuck on.

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Fair enough. A PPT, huh?

I guess I'm lucky - so far, my muse has never kept quiet long enough to for me to go back. Also, I've learned more patience with myself - don't publish till the story is ready, don't polish if it's never going to shine.

electricblue66 said:

Fair enough. A PPT, huh?

I guess I'm lucky - so far, my muse has never kept quiet long enough to for me to go back. Also, I've learned more patience with myself - don't publish till the story is ready, don't polish if it's never going to shine.

Click to expand...

I could have kept going with the alliteration, but I didn't want to be ridiculous.

I'm incredibly jealous of people who can pursue creative endeavors on the fly, who have inspiration ready for them. I've got my process for writing, but it's prone to fits and starts. I currently have a dozen or so stories in progress, and all feel stuck. Like I said, the museum is quite fickle for me, but I suppose maybe tomorrow will be the day something comes loose on one of these projects.