The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

Handley_Page said:

which get destoyed in a dispute with the Soup Dragon.



I put in a PortaPotty.

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Noor said:

and you get alcohol gel

I put in a birthday girl with a waistcoat

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a blanket to cover the rest of her. (Imagine, a coat just for her waist, and with winter almost here!)

I put in a purple velvet corset trimmed with black lace...

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Artina Heartflash said:

and you get a woman asking "is it boned?"

I throw in welder's gloves which have flaming fingertips

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a creme brule crafted by hand.

I put in a three-toed sloth...

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Handley_Page said:

which lies there doing nothing.



I put in a Velociraptor

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Artina Heartflash said:

which immediately gets hit by a coffee cup for stealing my elbow rest...

I put in a call of duty ...

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Tio_Narratore said:

but you get re-directed to a voice mailbox.

I put in a sin of omission...

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Handley_Page said:

but the mission manual is missin'. . . .



I put in a new Map

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Artina Heartflash said:

and it contains a photo of your house with a big red target "X" on the roof.

From Disney's Fantasia, I put in a sorcerer apprentice's broom,

with a sign attached that reads, "Free wet spankings".

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get spanked until you're wet.

I put in Hanuman...

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Handley_Page said:

but he's forgotten the Mountain.



I put in Shiva

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Noor said:

and you get the head of Ganish

I put in a foot long candy cane

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Handley_Page said:

but it's not peppermint flavour



I put in a buttermint toffee

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Tio_Narratore said:

and it makes the tea taste funny.

I put in un cafe americain...

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Handley_Page said:

but it tastes like ordinary coffee.

I put in a flask of good tea.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get reminded that flasks should contain good whisky.

I put in a tumbler of Redbreast...

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Handley_Page said:

and you get an empty tumbler of Islay single malt



I put in a barel of good Rum

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get 15 men on a dead man's chest.

I put in one Ho Ho Ho...

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Handley_Page said:

but the Reindeer stay very, very quiet.



I put in a little red lamp

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a Jeannie to rub.

I put a lad in...

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SailorJerry said:

but the Cardinal has already been reprimanded about that .....

I put in a set of winter tyres. on the rims.

cheers, lads!

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Handley_Page said:

but they are too smooth for the road conditions.



I put in a set of studs.

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Artina Heartflash said:

and they give you a company calling card: 2 Bi for Woodworking

I put in a mystery flavored Dum Dum pop.

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Handley_Page said:

not so much a 'pop', more a loud BOOM.



I put in a small bath of hot caustic soda.

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