Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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Only when he's awake, or writing.
The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread
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Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
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Summer colds are not cool.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
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No, they aren't. I had one 2 weeks ago, and I'm still trying to get rid of the cough.
My blurt: I love Black Black (caffeinated) gum. When I work, I drink coffee and chain-chew peppermint gum, so I love the fact that I now have both my favorite addictions in one handy little package. I only wish there were more caffeine per stick, but beggars can't be choosers.
Keroin
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OK, I seriously debated talking about this here, because I know how this topic can go, but I had one of the most awkward and uncomfortable dinners last night and I need to vent about it.
The dinner was hosted by our current boss and his girlfriend. Nice people, friendly, etc. I'd call him borderline sociopath and she has some social glitchery as well, but L and me are used to chatting with a host of different personality types, so that's fine. What made the evening so squirm-worthy was that boss and girlfriend are both Christian. And I don't mean "religious", I mean CHRISTIAN!
I lost track of the number of times we had to gently, politely steer the conversation away from god, Jesus, and related yay-Christianity stuff. What a position to put your employees in. WTF? It felt no different than fending off sexual advances all night. If the power structure had been different and if we didn't know this was a short time commitment, and if L didn't love what he's doing so much, we would have made our atheism very clear. As it was, we bit our lips and had a good head shake on the way home.
Now, you could say this was just bad manners, and it was, but it's far from the first time I've found myself in that kind of situation. Why? Why do people feel it's OK to do this? And people wonder why some atheists become militant and hostile. Yeesh.
The dinner was hosted by our current boss and his girlfriend. Nice people, friendly, etc. I'd call him borderline sociopath and she has some social glitchery as well, but L and me are used to chatting with a host of different personality types, so that's fine. What made the evening so squirm-worthy was that boss and girlfriend are both Christian. And I don't mean "religious", I mean CHRISTIAN!
I lost track of the number of times we had to gently, politely steer the conversation away from god, Jesus, and related yay-Christianity stuff. What a position to put your employees in. WTF? It felt no different than fending off sexual advances all night. If the power structure had been different and if we didn't know this was a short time commitment, and if L didn't love what he's doing so much, we would have made our atheism very clear. As it was, we bit our lips and had a good head shake on the way home.
Now, you could say this was just bad manners, and it was, but it's far from the first time I've found myself in that kind of situation. Why? Why do people feel it's OK to do this? And people wonder why some atheists become militant and hostile. Yeesh.
JMohegan
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LP3Zs_V_BQ
Either he's a fucking idiot who just plain can't fathom that a friendly, wholesome-looking woman would be anything other than a Jesus fan, or he's dickishly attempting to make life awkward for non-conformists.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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If you think *they* were bad, let me introduce you to my brother, whose "religion" is a certain multi-level marketing (MLM) organization. After more than 20 years in this organization, his income from it would qualify as slightly below subsistence level, yet I was forced to tell him - and follow through - that if he again brought up the idea of my joining the organization at *any* time, I would get up and walk out, no matter where we were, or who we were with. After the fourth or fifth time I walked out, I just quit accepting invitations to anything from him. I haven't seen him in 11 years. (We do, however, correspond occasionally by e-mail, and I just ignore his proselytizing in his sig lines.)
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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Yeah, I don't like people like that and I'm a Christian. There are people who tie God into everything they do, and it's flat out obnoxious. However, just to be fair, I've also dealt with people of many religions (or non-religions) who are like this. For instance, I've never belonged to an online Christian group that doesn't have to routinely delete atheists and satanists who join under false pretenses and then proceed to be completely obnoxious about it.
Keroin
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I know there are obnoxious atheists out there, and I know you’re not one of those in-your-face religious folks , Gracie. SW, your brother sounds like a doofus and I don’t blame you for ditching him. The difference here, and the reason I ranted was the power structure of this particular situation.
This was not a conversation between equals. This person is our employer. Putting employees in that kind of position is beyond annoying, it’s an abuse of power. The thing is, I don’t think he and his girlfriend saw it that way at all because, for them, belief is the default setting. We’re the “weird” ones. To my mind, this was no different than if they had spent the evening inappropriately touching us. Seriously. In an online forum, or with family and friends, it may be annoying to have to put up with someone’s beliefs, but at least you have the option of responding honestly without any impact on your financial situation.
I’ve tolerated religion as the societal default setting for my entire life, but this incident crossed the line. And because of the nature of this job, we can't just quit. We've made a huge commitment to be here, including sub-letting our suite. Needless to say, we won't be accepting anymore dinner invites.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
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I know there are obnoxious atheists out there, and I know you’re not one of those in-your-face religious folks , Gracie. SW, your brother sounds like a doofus and I don’t blame you for ditching him. The difference here, and the reason I ranted was the power structure of this particular situation.
This was not a conversation between equals. This person is our employer. Putting employees in that kind of position is beyond annoying, it’s an abuse of power. The thing is, I don’t think he and his girlfriend saw it that way at all because, for them, belief is the default setting. We’re the “weird” ones. To my mind, this was no different than if they had spent the evening inappropriately touching us. Seriously. In an online forum, or with family and friends, it may be annoying to have to put up with someone’s beliefs, but at least you have the option of responding honestly without any impact on your financial situation.
I’ve tolerated religion as the societal default setting for my entire life, but this incident crossed the line. And because of the nature of this job, we can't just quit. We've made a huge commitment to be here, including sub-letting our suite. Needless to say, we won't be accepting anymore dinner invites.
I kinda understand how you feel. It wasn't a religious situation for me, but I used to do work for a man who was beyond creepy. Yes, it was an adult website, and, yes, I do work of an adult nature, but when you're ostensibly hiring me for SEO, you don't get to talk to me on the phone whenever you want and comment on "my sexy voice."
I finally cut him loose, even though I haven't recovered financially since. I just couldn't stand it anymore. It was vile and disgusting.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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I know there are obnoxious atheists out there, and I know you’re not one of those in-your-face religious folks , Gracie. SW, your brother sounds like a doofus and I don’t blame you for ditching him. The difference here, and the reason I ranted was the power structure of this particular situation.
This was not a conversation between equals. This person is our employer. Putting employees in that kind of position is beyond annoying, it’s an abuse of power. The thing is, I don’t think he and his girlfriend saw it that way at all because, for them, belief is the default setting. We’re the “weird” ones. To my mind, this was no different than if they had spent the evening inappropriately touching us. Seriously. In an online forum, or with family and friends, it may be annoying to have to put up with someone’s beliefs, but at least you have the option of responding honestly without any impact on your financial situation.
I’ve tolerated religion as the societal default setting for my entire life, but this incident crossed the line. And because of the nature of this job, we can't just quit. We've made a huge commitment to be here, including sub-letting our suite. Needless to say, we won't be accepting anymore dinner invites.
Oh, I agree. Your hubby's boss is an ass and you honestly have every reason in the world to be annoyed about it. Mine was just a side note, not necessarily pertinent to your particular situation.
seela
Quark Thief
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Been there, done that. Kinda. It was at the university, on a course where everybody dropped out after the first semester except for me and one other student. And because the lecturer, the other studend and me all knew each other pretty well, the classes quickly became discussions over a cup of tea rather than real lectures. The lecturer is a lovely person and I truly like her as a teacher, she's very much a Christian (Catholic), but had never before been one of those in-your-face-Christians. The other student is majorly religious (some minor Protestant group) and isn't afraid to let everybody know.
On that course, the other student over and over again managed to get the lecturer to join her weird Christian mission. At least the student knew I'm an atheist (even if not a vocal one and interested in religions as concepts), but somehow that didn't seem to matter. Religion was one of the themes of the course, but I never thought it'd get so "hands-on" and personal.
There was one especially unsettling moment, when they started to discuss how anyone can be so stupid as to not believe in God, you know, just in case. "You'd think they'd believe in God, because why would anyone want to go to hell and rott there forever and ever, but no, I guess some people are just that stupid. If you're not sure, it's the safe bet to believe in God, but not everybody seems smart enough to come to that conclusion."
It was mostly the other student who was running the situation every time the Christian hour happened (which was about every other week), but the lecturer wasn't afraid to join in. Because I needed to complete the course, I couldn't walk out. Because the lecturer was the same one that taught me 4 other classes at that time, I didn't want to risk complaining too much, you know, I wanted to get along with her.
I hate situations like that even when I have a way out, but it was horrible because I just had to sit there and listen. The horror must have shown on my face though, because after the whole course was over, the teacher did apologize to me that she and the other student had gotten carried away at times.
Keroin
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Ugh. And good for you. Abuse of power is abuse of power, no matter what your career.
The fact that you understand what it's like to be "on the other side" is important. If more religious folks understood this, I wouldn't have people knocking on my door, uninvited, to try and talk me into believing, lol.
What a horrible situation! Good gravy, at least we only had to tolerate it for a few hours. And this is why whenever people try to equate religion with compassion, morals, and ethics, and atheism with a lack of those qualities, I get my hackles up. It's nice that your teacher apologized but too little, too late, IMO.
seela
Quark Thief
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Yep. That part made me really roll my eyes too. But mostly it was just about how stupid atheists are, because they willingly march to hell and try to take other people with them.
the captians wench
sewing wench
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JMohegan
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What's the alternative though?
The most invidious notion of all is the idea that belief itself is a choice.
the captians wench
sewing wench
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I am now an embroidering queen.
I feel like I've stepped through a mirror where my world is backwards. Instead of all over the house or around my daughter's feet, the pets are right up against me or as close as they can get and staring. Ulf is doing the cooking and bringing the food to me (he isn't waiting for me acknowledge him, it's backwards not crazy). No one is asking me for rides, no one is having me check the datebook, when my cell phone rings, it only rings once and no one brings it to me. My noisy people are being quiet. My industrious handyman and woman have stopped working on the house's interior mid-task! This is beyond weird. The coffee pot always has coffee in it, but I haven't touched it. The areas where I'm in charge, I'm not. The areas where I serve are taken away too. My kitchen is a disaster area and no one lets me clean it. Normally, being sick is an inconvenience. This time its surreal.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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True dat.
seela
Quark Thief
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Choosing to believe is a common theme to most religious speech I've ever been exposed to. "Let Jesus into your heart" and other such statements require action and thus are a choice.
I know personally a couple of ex-pentecostals, who at least here are probably the most active group when it comes to proclaiming their faith and trying to save poor souls from going to hell. I've talked about this "choosing to believe" thing with them, and they've told it's common that when people join the church, they go through the motions and act religious without really feeling it or without really believing. It's the first step for many, so to say. Because of this a lot of people also become ex-pentecostals: they feel inadequate and let down, if the real feeling of God's presence or whatnot doesn't come. It's also a theme that's never discussed within the church, although it seems to affect many people.
As a side note: I go almost every day past a window, that belongs to one or another Christian group. They've painted in huge letters in the window "Believe me, Jesus" and it always cracks me up. Because of bad punctuation, the text is now telling Jesus to believe somebody instead of telling people to believe Jesus. For a while I thought it was a joke, but they actually have some real Christian leaflets on the window, too, so I suppose they're for real and just don't realize their mistake in punctuation.
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graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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Out of curiosity sake, you can get them to completely leave you alone by calling their kingdom hall and asking to be put on a 'do not bother' list. (More than half of my cousins are JW's.)
Belief "just in case" is not sensiere belief and wouldn't count anyway.
Pretty much.
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
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Oddly, my first reaction to the branding thread was considering what brands I actually do wear and what it possibly says about me? In this phase of my life, I nearly never even think about it anymore beyond knowing what brands seem to fit best and offer styles I like. I love thrift store shopping for many reasons, but I think I have been ignoring the brands in favor of the fit, quality, and the great deal.
It's really making me pause and rethink what I wear everyday. Maybe that is a good thing.
It's really making me pause and rethink what I wear everyday. Maybe that is a good thing.
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