Feedback On an Odd Story

I published a story recently, Across a Dimly Lit Room, and it's... well... "unique". I don't expect to get a ton of ratings and comments on it, so I thought I'd create this thread to figure out what people think.

A word of warning: It's meant to be a really weird read, so just keep that in mind.

Thanks in advance!

It's good - and not as weird as you led us to believe. Just a bit OTT in some places.