Mindfondler
Kinkster
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2010
- Posts
- 4,071
M dom (52) seeks F sub (London UK) for sensual/mental D/s play and sharing of cake
(12th December 2017: Updated timeline and changed "Mrs MF" to "Tinglebliss")
Summary
I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" sparky female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.
Who am I?
I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Tinglebliss) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.
Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say greying!) — see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) — and on topics much wider than just kink.
I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.
Tinglebliss and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two and a half years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.
Over the last eighteen months, Tinglebliss and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.
I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that I make.
My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.
What's the deal?
Let me expand on my headline:
What do I like?
Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
What happens next?
For those who like a detailed plan, read on!
Here's how things might pan out:
About Tinglebliss and me
My wife (Tinglebliss) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):
You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.
See also our joint advert here.
Hear me talk about BDSM!
Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Tinglebliss) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two and a half years ago.
Interested?
Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
(12th December 2017: Updated timeline and changed "Mrs MF" to "Tinglebliss")
Summary
I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" sparky female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.
Who am I?
I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Tinglebliss) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.
Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say greying!) — see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) — and on topics much wider than just kink.
I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.
Tinglebliss and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two and a half years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.
Over the last eighteen months, Tinglebliss and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.
I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that I make.
My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.
What's the deal?
Let me expand on my headline:
- By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.
- By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.
- I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).
- I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.
- I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.
What do I like?
Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):
- Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.
- Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. Concepts such as predicament play and primal play excite me, and I'd love to explore them with a willing sub. I'm aware, though, that they require strong trust and a good connection, so they're not an option for first play.
- Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.
- I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament — and a good voice for it!
What happens next?
For those who like a detailed plan, read on!
Here's how things might pan out:
- You read this advert and like it
- You contact me by Private Message
- We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
- If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
- If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
- We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
- If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
- We attend an event and we try playing together there
- I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
- Hopefully, we do more!
- We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
- We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
- There may be nurturing
- There will definitely be cake!
- We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
- We go to events and play
- We need to keep reviewing how things are going
- It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working — we can be adult about that
- I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
- Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
About Tinglebliss and me
My wife (Tinglebliss) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):
You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.
See also our joint advert here.
Hear me talk about BDSM!
Listen to me describe my guiding philosophy for D/s play! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Listen to my guide to BDSM terminology! <-- SoundCloud audio clip
Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Tinglebliss) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two and a half years ago.
Interested?
Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
Last edited: