Gentle M dom (52) seeks F sub (London UK) for sensual/mental play and sharing of cake

Mindfondler

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Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Posts
4,071
M dom (52) seeks F sub (London UK) for sensual/mental D/s play and sharing of cake

(12th December 2017: Updated timeline and changed "Mrs MF" to "Tinglebliss")

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" sparky female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.


Who am I?


I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Tinglebliss) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.

Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say greying!) — see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) — and on topics much wider than just kink.

I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.

Tinglebliss and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two and a half years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last eighteen months, Tinglebliss and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that I make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:

  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.

  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.

  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).

  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.

  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):

  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.

  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. Concepts such as predicament play and primal play excite me, and I'd love to explore them with a willing sub. I'm aware, though, that they require strong trust and a good connection, so they're not an option for first play.

  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.

  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament — and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:

  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:

  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:

  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working — we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though — not a prescription.


About Tinglebliss and me


My wife (Tinglebliss) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):

attachment.php

You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

See also our joint advert here.


Hear me talk about BDSM!



Listen to my guide to BDSM terminology! <-- SoundCloud audio clip :)

Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Tinglebliss) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two and a half years ago.


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
 
Last edited:
You spund lovely--hope you and the missis fond someone great!

(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago. As I've explained below, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys sensual and mental play — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.

My wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. She will read any replies (so please say hi to her too!) and will be alongside me at any meetings (helping to eat the cake!). It's vitally important to me that we all "click" and can be friends together, whether in or out of play.


Who am I?


I'm a straight married guy from SE London with a long-standing passion for gentle sensual play, light bondage and nurturing. I'm 52 years old, full of ideas, energy and fun, with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) — see my profile photo.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now seeking to branch out in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last few months, Mrs MF and I have met three lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We have spent many happy hours introducing these three ladies to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

My longer term ambition is to find a compatible regular play partner who shares my preferences for slow teasing sensual play, mental play and/or domination games (potentially also involving Mrs MF). I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that we make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:

  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.

  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.

  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).

  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.

  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):

  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.

  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. I'm aware, though, that these require strong trust and a good connection, so they're probably not an option for first play.

  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.

  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament — and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:

  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:

  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:

  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working — we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though — not a prescription.


More about Mrs MF and me


You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

Here's a photo of us enjoying some rope play:

attachment.php



Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.
 
not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you.

but seriously you had me at "On a week-to-week basis:"

:D
 
(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago. As I've explained below, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)

Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys sensual and mental play — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.

My wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. She will read any replies (so please say hi to her too!) and will be alongside me at any meetings (helping to eat the cake!). It's vitally important to me that we all "click" and can be friends together, whether in or out of play.


Who am I?


I'm a straight married guy from SE London with a long-standing passion for gentle sensual play, light bondage and nurturing. I'm 52 years old, full of ideas, energy and fun, with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) — see my profile photo.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now seeking to branch out in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last few months, Mrs MF and I have met three lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We have spent many happy hours introducing these three ladies to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

My longer term ambition is to find a compatible regular play partner who shares my preferences for slow teasing sensual play, mental play and/or domination games (potentially also involving Mrs MF). I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that we make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:

  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.

  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.

  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).

  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.

  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):

  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.

  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. I'm aware, though, that these require strong trust and a good connection, so they're probably not an option for first play.

  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.

  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament — and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:

  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:

  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:

  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working — we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though — not a prescription.


More about Mrs MF and me


You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.

Here's a photo of us enjoying some rope play:

attachment.php



Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
.

Why oh why are all the fun ones across the big pond??? Omg you sound like my dream come true!!! Too bad I'm not over there you all would be ideal.:rose:
 
Why oh why are all the fun ones across the big pond??? Omg you sound like my dream come true!!! Too bad I'm not over there you all would be ideal.:rose:
Thank you for those kind words! I'm sorry that I'm not on the right side of The Pond for you. Unfortunately I have no plans to relocate! :(

I'm still looking. I've had several replies to my advert from the UK — all sincere and good quality but, after some dialogue, seemingly impractical or unsuitable for reasons that don't reflect adversely on either person. I think it's inevitable that this will happen often between individuals who are discerning and clear about what they want, but I'm still holding out to find that rare magic connection! :D
.
 
Thank you for those kind words! I'm sorry that I'm not on the right side of The Pond for you. Unfortunately I have no plans to relocate! :(

I'm still looking. I've had several replies to my advert from the UK — all sincere and good quality but, after some dialogue, seemingly impractical or unsuitable for reasons that don't reflect adversely on either person. I think it's inevitable that this will happen often between individuals who are discerning and clear about what they want, but I'm still holding out to find that rare magic connection! :D
.

Well I hope you find her. You seem so deserving and I know you will enjoy her:rose:
 
Well I hope you find her. You seem so deserving and I know you will enjoy her:rose:
Thank you! :rose:

Still looking! I've just made some changes to the "Summary", "Who am I?", "What do I like?" and "About Mrs MF and me" sections of my top post to clarify and expand upon a few points, in the light of discussions that I've had and helpful feedback that I've received over the last few weeks.

Any nibbles of interest? :)
.
 
Still looking! For those who haven't found it, I recorded an audio clip a while ago to introduce myself to Litsters. If you're considering my advert, then that's a good place to start to get a better sense about me. For more, see the links in my signature. :)
.
 
Still looking! For those who haven't found it, I recorded an audio clip a while ago to introduce myself to Litsters. If you're considering my advert, then that's a good place to start to get a better sense about me. For more, see the links in my signature. :)
.

I usually only lurk thru here as I'm not looking for anyone or anything. I'm just extremely curious by nature. I have to take a moment to express what a lovely thing you added to your advert!

I must confess that I immediately closed my eyes to listen to that terribly proper speech pattern you possess combined with a most melodious modulation and then realized I also had a silly grin on my face by the end of the clip. (Thank goodness J wasn't home or I would have had to explain that grin to him!)

It's rather fun to actually hear someone from this site rather than have them speak only in one's imagination.

Thank you, MF, for the brief and delicious bit of entertainment.
 
I usually only lurk thru here as I'm not looking for anyone or anything. I'm just extremely curious by nature. I have to take a moment to express what a lovely thing you added to your advert!

I must confess that I immediately closed my eyes to listen to that terribly proper speech pattern you possess combined with a most melodious modulation and then realized I also had a silly grin on my face by the end of the clip. (Thank goodness J wasn't home or I would have had to explain that grin to him!)

It's rather fun to actually hear someone from this site rather than have them speak only in one's imagination.

Thank you, MF, for the brief and delicious bit of entertainment.
You're most welcome! :)

The introductory sound clip that you listened to is one that I recorded several years ago. I'm delighted to hear that people are still accessing it and enjoying it. In fact, your description of your reaction gave me a warm glow of pride and satisfaction. :eek:

I'm particularly glad to hear that the sound of my voice brought me to life in a way that transcends written text on a page. I hoped that it might work that way!

With that idea in mind, I thought that it might be beneficial for me to record a new audio clip with this personals advert specifically in mind. Maybe it will bring me contact at last with the elusive sub that I'm looking for!

I give you: *rolls drums*

MF's guiding philosophy for D/s play <-- Click to listen to SoundCloud audio clip :)
.
 
Just to add that I've now posted a follow-up audio clip:

MF's Guide to BDSM Terminology <-- Click for SoundCloud audio clip

I'd like to stress that I'm not speaking from a position of assumed authority, but rather as a former BDSM newbie who (with Mrs MF) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two years ago.

I'll be delighted to hear if my explanations are helpful to anyone :)
.
 
GrrlFriday raised a good question about my joint advert with Mrs MF, which is also appropriate as a footnote here (until I get around to re-writing my advert):

What do you mean by 'nurturing'?
I've used the "n" word (nurture/nurturing) several times above without properly explaining it. It's a word that I thought sounded appropriate, but I realise now that I'm assuming that other readers understand it in the same way that I do, and with the positive intent that I was trying to convey.

For me, "nurturing" here relates to a gap that Mrs MF and I are both feeling in our lives at the moment. Having successfully raised our children to well-adjusted adulthood, we feel that have a lot to offer to someone who can benefit from our support — not broken but just in need of friendship, encouragement and a reliable structure to help them achieve goals that they find challenging. That's the concept that I was trying to express, together with a sense of what I get out of the arrangement.

I hope that's helpful. :)
.
 
(This is an update to my previous advert from six months ago (see "NEW!" below). As I'll explain, Mrs MF and I have met some great ladies since then who remain good friends but aren't compatible play partners for various reasons)


Summary


I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age and experience unimportant) in or around London, UK who enjoys the concept of mental D/s play and who would like to learn more about it with me — possibly in tandem with my wife who is a switch.


Who am I?


I'm a straight, happily married guy from SE London (UK). I'm fascinated by the mental aspects of domination and submission: the way that an agreed transfer of power and control between rational people can become an exhilarating ride "in the head". My experience so far has been mostly in the physical domain: "topping" my wife (Mrs MF) who enjoys gentle sensual play and light bondage.

(Mrs MF helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue my ambition. She will read any replies and help me to review them, so please say hi to her too!)

Physically, I'm 52 years old, in good shape (lots of running!), with looks that I'd describe as "distinguished" (others might say "greying"!) — see my profile photo. In my head, though, I'm a lot younger: full of ideas, energy and fun. I treasure good friendship, connection and emotional intimacy. I'd expect a compatible play partner to share those values and be prepared to open up with me (I'll do likewise) — and on topics much wider than just kink.

I have a strong nurturing instinct, so lack of kink experience isn't any barrier to me. On the contrary, I'd enjoy the opportunity to teach as well as learn, and to re-live the thrills of discovering kink through someone else's eyes.

My wife (Mrs MF) and I have been exploring BDSM together for the last two years. We're well known and respected in our local kink community and we're regularly seen out at events. We're now both seeking to branch out individually in new directions to supplement our play together.

Over the last nine months, Mrs MF and I have met several lovely UK based ladies through our personal adverts. We've spent many happy hours introducing them to kink, variously talking through the concepts and conventions, enabling them to meet other kinksters at public events, and helping them to join in at a play event. We're flattered that these ladies chose to put their trust in us and we're very pleased to have been able to help them.

I'm still looking for a play partner, though! For various reasons of impracticality or unsuitability that don't reflect adversely on anyone, the ladies that I've met so far haven't fitted the bill. My long term ambition is to find a compatible lady who shares my interest in slow teasing sensual play, mental play and domination games. I'm realistic that this may take a long time and is most likely to grow out of a friendship that Mrs MF and I make.

My older posting Mindfondler's core BDSM fantasy! explains some more of the background to my advert.


What's the deal?


Let me expand on my headline:

  • By "non-exclusive", I mean that I'm entirely happy for you to play with other partners as well. I'm certainly going to continue playing with my wife! Part of the fascination for me is that each person responds differently to the same stimuli. I'd enjoy the challenge of building a connection with someone else and discovering what works best for you.

  • By "no sex", I mean that I'm not seeking to perform overt sexual acts with you. I have no need for that and I'm not looking for it. I'm open to the idea of including a sexual edge in physical play (e.g. light flogging of bum and boobs), but that's something for negotiation and I'll definitely play safe without that agreement.

  • I've written "play partner with submissive tendencies" rather than "submissive" because I'm unable to commit to 24/7 support that might be expected with a full-on D/s relationship. I'm imagining that we'd stay in contact on a regular basis, but a few times a week rather than throughout each day (excepting aftercare, which I'd treat as a special requirement).

  • I've specified London, UK as I want it to be possible for us to get together fairly easily. I'm not looking for an online-only arrangement.

  • I want to learn with you. I have some experience of BDSM but I certainly don't know all of the answers and I want to grow too. I'm a competent and sensible guy, and I'm able to develop strong understanding and empathy with people who "click" with me. Others have said that I'm good at listening, encouraging and challenging (in a positive way), and I'd enjoy taking a nurturing role if you have a need for that.

What do I like?


Here are some activities that I enjoy (not an exhaustive list!):

  • Slow teasing sensual play, perhaps involving blindfolds and light restraint. I'm qualified in Indian Head Massage, so I'm capable of delivering a range of relaxing sensations as well as stronger ones. We could start with this: me just working gently on your arms, shoulders and head without any elements of bondage.

  • Mental games involving anticipation, surprise and release. Concepts such as predicament play and primal play excite me, and I'd love to explore them with a willing sub. I'm aware, though, that they require strong trust and a good connection, so they're not an option for first play.

  • Domination games in which we engage in a mental and physical battle for control of a situation or role play (but I win, of course!). Again, these require great trust and communication, as well as a lot of shared imagination, so they won't suit everyone.

  • I've also started to explore hypnosis as a means of consensual mental domination. I need to learn more, but I'm finding that I have the right temperament — and a good voice for it!

What happens next?


For those who like a detailed plan, read on!

Here's how things might pan out:

  • You read this advert and like it
  • You contact me by Private Message
  • We exchange messages for a while to see if we "click"
  • If so, we move to chat via 'phone, instant messaging or other medium (your choice)
  • If all goes well, then we arrange to meet up somewhere (e.g. local pub or coffee shop)
  • We talk about what we want (types of play, experience levels, ambitions and limits)
  • If we seem compatible, then we shortlist some possible events to go to
  • We attend an event and we try playing together there
  • I administer aftercare (if needed) and we review how things went
  • Hopefully, we do more!
On a week-to-week basis:

  • We keep in touch by online chat and physical meetings (as suits us)
  • We talk about our ambitions and how we're getting on with them
  • There may be nurturing
  • There will definitely be cake!
  • We arrange to go to more events and we prepare for them
  • We go to events and play
Realistically, things can change at any stage:

  • We need to keep reviewing how things are going
  • It's okay for us to grow apart or to agree that it isn't working — we can be adult about that
  • I'll be delighted if my nurturing enables you to move on to something bigger and better
  • Hopefully, we'll part company amicably and with good memories
That's just an illustration, though — not a prescription.


About Mrs MF and me


As I mentioned earlier, my wife (Mrs MF) helped me to compose this advert and is keen for me to pursue this ambition. Our marriage is a harmonious one and we enjoy our play together in the domains that we have in common. Here's a photo of us engaging in some rope play (you'll need to click on the link as this section of the forum doesn't allow embedded images):

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You can read more about us in our writing: Meet Mr and Mrs MF!.


NEW! (3rd May 2017)



Listen to my guide to BDSM terminology! <-- SoundCloud audio clip :)

Important: In my audio clips as above, I'm not speaking from any position of assumed authority, but rather from the perspective of a former newbie who (with Mrs MF) remembers how confusing these concepts were when we first encountered them two years ago.


Interested?


Please send me an exploratory message. Let's talk!
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This! This is what an ad should be! Detailed and complete, written by an actual member of the Lit community and not a ghost ID that only exists in the personals. Beautifully done, sir!

Why must you be on an entirely different continent? :(
 
This! This is what an ad should be! Detailed and complete, written by an actual member of the Lit community and not a ghost ID that only exists in the personals. Beautifully done, sir!
Thank you very much! :D

I'm pleased to say that my advert has had a better reception here than on a thread in another place that shall not be named, where the only responses were several rounds of abuse from one seemingly insane woman and a terse reply of "TL;DR" from a Domme (well... duh... it wasn't aimed at you!). :rolleyes:

Why must you be on an entirely different continent? :(
I keep hearing that! I'm sorry — I didn't plan my place of birth carefully enough. :eek:
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Hate to disappoint but I am with the others on here

Why oh why are you not in New Zealand???? :rose::heart:
 
Hate to disappoint but I am with the others on here

Why oh why are you not in New Zealand???? :rose::heart:
I'd like to be in New Zealand! It would be my choice of second home, and I hope that tinglebliss and I will be able to visit NZ and tour there for a while when funds, time and personal circumstances permit. :)

Thanks for your interest, though. It's great to hear that my advert has appeal, even if it's to people on different continents. :D
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I'd like to be in New Zealand! It would be my choice of second home, and I hope that tinglebliss and I will be able to visit NZ and tour there for a while when funds, time and personal circumstances permit. :)

Thanks for your interest, though. It's great to hear that my advert has appeal, even if it's to people on different continents. :D
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Oh I'm sure you guys would love it....most visitors do :)
 
Oh I'm sure you guys would love it....most visitors do :)
I'm guessing that the ones who don't are Australian — and they're just jealous! :D

tinglebliss and I were reflecting sadly today that we've met a lot of newcomers to kink through our adverts over the last couple of years, but that it's rare for those individuals to give any feedback to others that we truly are friendly and helpful people, congruent with our description of ourselves. That would help to break down the prevailing cynicism and sense of "stranger danger" that may inhibit others from getting in touch with us.

I'm not being critical here, though. It's understandable that those concerned don't wish to break cover — and we wouldn't ever compromise them in that way. All that I can ask is that anyone reading this advert (and our other ones) bears with us on our statement that we've successfully met many people despite the apparent lack of evidence.

(I'm wondering now whether we could find an "honest broker" on here to vouch for us)
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