A new story concern about first person, or

MagicFingers said:

However, I do have thirty- something stories posted here. And some of them are pretty good, maybe not in a literary sense but people like them.
I started out reading stories here and elsewhere and said to myself, "I can write better stories than this, and I have things I'd like to say." So here I am.

I knew there would be problems with point of view or tense so that's why I started this thread, to learn and improve my writing while I still can!
I hate stories where poor spelling, grammar, sentence structure, and other problems distract from what the writer is trying to tell us. So I try very hard to make my writing NOT distract from the story telling and maybe even ADD to the pleasure of reading it. Off to root for the black and gold Saints!

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A lot of people may disagree with me about this, and I don't hold this opinion in an iron-clad sort of way, but my view about tense and point of view is that your default should be third person limited omniscient in the past tense, and you should have a reason to want to write from another point of view or in another tense.

Third person gives you a lot of flexibility. You can do just about anything that you can do in first person, and you can do things you can't do in first person (the problem you cite is a good example -- it's not a problem in third person, it's a problem only in first person).

Past tense is much more common than present tense, and readers are more accustomed to it. The great majority of fiction is written in the past tense. There's a reason for that.

You have absolutely no obligation to stick with this point of view/tense, but if you are going to choose one of the alternatives I think it's good to ask yourself why, and what you want to accomplish with the story, and how those choices will help the story. Ask yourself what problems the adoption of a different point of view or tense may create. Chances are, third person and past tense will not create any problems. You can navigate your way through or around just about any narrative problems with them.

To state this as a universal "default" is 50% rubbish advice, 50% good advice.

This comes up repeatedly on AH, and the consensus, generally, repeatedly, and ad nauseum is that first person is usually far more intimate (unless you have a particularly close third person narrator - which I increasingly tend to use).

Intimacy is quite a good concept for erotica, imho. Many very good writers I know struggle with intimacy, some indeed self-confessedly scared of it, and that occasionally results in a sense of alienation at times. Others write with the intensity of a forest fire regardless of voice.

But as a "default"? I don't think so.

electricblue66 said:

To state this as a universal "default" is 50% rubbish advice, 50% good advice.

This comes up repeatedly on AH, and the consensus, generally, repeatedly, and ad nauseum is that first person is usually far more intimate (unless you have a particularly close third person narrator - which I increasingly tend to use).

Intimacy is quite a good concept for erotica, imho. Many very good writers I know struggle with intimacy, some indeed self-confessedly scared of it, and that occasionally results in a sense of alienation at times. Others write with the intensity of a forest fire regardless of voice.

But as a "default"? I don't think so.

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I would put it this way: wanting to achieve that sort of intimacy is a good reason to deviate from the default of third person and choose first person. But the author must then be prepared to accept the limitations of first person before choosing. Those limits don't pop up in third person. So it's a useful way to think about how to write the story before starting even if it doesn't seem quite right to call it a rule. I would call it a tool, not a rule. Its a tool that forces the writer to be conscious of the writer's basic choices in telling the story.

SimonDoom said:

But the author must then be prepared to accept the limitations of first person before choosing. Those limits don't pop up in third person. So it's a useful way to think about how to write the story before starting even if it doesn't seem quite right to call it a rule. I would call it a tool, not a rule. Its a tool that forces the writer to be conscious of the writer's basic choices in telling the story.

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Agree that. I guess with my own work I never saw my early striving for intimacy to be a limitation, just an essential thing I had to explore, so for me there was no choice. I had to write first person, to get close enough to me, to write what I wanted to write.

In subsequent stories I've explored more the use of an (always very close) third person narrator - but I'm not sure I ever make a conscious decision to do so. I never consciously think about a voice before I start writing - I'm usually a hundred words in before I find out. But then I write very stream of consciousness, so I guess my mind is sorting out my narrator before my body gives him the pen.

electricblue66 said:

Agree that. I guess with my own work I never saw my early striving for intimacy to be a limitation, just an essential thing I had to explore, so for me there was no choice. I had to write first person, to get close enough to me, to write what I wanted to write.

In subsequent stories I've explored more the use of an (always very close) third person narrator - but I'm not sure I ever make a conscious decision to do so. I never consciously think about a voice before I start writing - I'm usually a hundred words in before I find out. But then I write very stream of consciousness, so I guess my mind is sorting out my narrator before my body gives him the pen.

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I think it's fairly normal to turn to first person because it seems familiar, intimate, and close. But with experience I also think most writers can find that third person limited omniscient can do much the same thing, but with some extra flexibility.

I've read a few of Lee Childs's Jack Reacher novels. An interesting thing about them is that some are in first person and some are in third person. I don't think it makes much difference, in terms of how the point of view conveys what Reacher is thinking and feeling. They read the same. My guess is that if you asked most readers of the novels they wouldn't even remember that the POV changes. The main difference is that the third person POV lets the reader glimpse things other characters are doing out of Reacher's sight.

"Swing Time" is posted

If anyone wants to check it out, it's here
https://www.literotica.com/s/swing-time-2

I usually prefer third person but decided on First Person for this.
So, it's done