shy slave
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Posts
- 8,255
I know many of you have open relationships in one guise or another.
I have sort of admired you for that, and sort of been confused as to how they really work in reality, but truth is never thought it would apply to me.
So not sure if I am asking for advice, thoughts or just need a place to try and think this through in the company of people who understand this far more than I do.
I have an ex whom I am very close to. We dated briefly in 2007 and whilst we soon realised that from a kink pov we were not compatible, but we ended up close friends who dated other people.
The few people who know us both (and they are very few, but ADR who used to post here met him in 2008/9), say we seem like a 'married couple' and think we work well together, which we do; as friends.
Recently things have changed, I move a lot, and he has started visiting me. For the first time in years we ended up in bed together. It was ok, comfortable, and good. Not mind blowing, but not terrible.
He finds it almost impossible to discuss his feelings and we are not touchy/feely people but we both seem ok about this change.
He knows I miss the physical pain stuff, he tried to give that to me, but didn't enjoy it. He has an ego the size of a house, and I enjoyed it; but again it was...comfortable.
We analysed it, discussed it and thought about (exciting huh).
He is ok about me finding someone to administer pain, as long as it is not an emotional relationship (the closest I am likely to get to his admitting he has feelings for me).
So, tonight I met someone. He caned me, it was..... dull. He wanted cuddles every few minutes and wanted to keep sticking his fingers in me to see if I was wet. I hate that, makes me feel like some sort of oven ready chicken.
The caning was fairly expert, he clearly knows what he is doing, but it didn't really work. I hate aftercare and all that being hugged was awkward and boring.
I did tell him I hate foreplay and all that fiddling about and to be fair he didn't think he did it that much, but he likes it.
What now?
Is it the lack of emotion that made it feel like a weird exchange of goods?
Should I try with someone else?
Should I accept that the ex and I get on and be content with that? I never thought I could be content with less than getting caned, but then never thought I would consider an open relationship.
Are open relationships like this, a means to scratch an itch, or am I missing something?
Out of my depth a bit here.
I have sort of admired you for that, and sort of been confused as to how they really work in reality, but truth is never thought it would apply to me.
So not sure if I am asking for advice, thoughts or just need a place to try and think this through in the company of people who understand this far more than I do.
I have an ex whom I am very close to. We dated briefly in 2007 and whilst we soon realised that from a kink pov we were not compatible, but we ended up close friends who dated other people.
The few people who know us both (and they are very few, but ADR who used to post here met him in 2008/9), say we seem like a 'married couple' and think we work well together, which we do; as friends.
Recently things have changed, I move a lot, and he has started visiting me. For the first time in years we ended up in bed together. It was ok, comfortable, and good. Not mind blowing, but not terrible.
He finds it almost impossible to discuss his feelings and we are not touchy/feely people but we both seem ok about this change.
He knows I miss the physical pain stuff, he tried to give that to me, but didn't enjoy it. He has an ego the size of a house, and I enjoyed it; but again it was...comfortable.
We analysed it, discussed it and thought about (exciting huh).
He is ok about me finding someone to administer pain, as long as it is not an emotional relationship (the closest I am likely to get to his admitting he has feelings for me).
So, tonight I met someone. He caned me, it was..... dull. He wanted cuddles every few minutes and wanted to keep sticking his fingers in me to see if I was wet. I hate that, makes me feel like some sort of oven ready chicken.
The caning was fairly expert, he clearly knows what he is doing, but it didn't really work. I hate aftercare and all that being hugged was awkward and boring.
I did tell him I hate foreplay and all that fiddling about and to be fair he didn't think he did it that much, but he likes it.
What now?
Is it the lack of emotion that made it feel like a weird exchange of goods?
Should I try with someone else?
Should I accept that the ex and I get on and be content with that? I never thought I could be content with less than getting caned, but then never thought I would consider an open relationship.
Are open relationships like this, a means to scratch an itch, or am I missing something?
Out of my depth a bit here.
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