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Old 02-12-2018, 07:33 PM   #1201
MagicaPractica
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I usually get commendations for oral sexual gratification, from me.
Wow!

Wait, do you mean you've received commendations for giving oral sex or you give yourself commendatios? Because the first is amazing while the second is . . . well, typical for a guy.
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Old 02-12-2018, 11:13 PM   #1202
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Wow!

Wait, do you mean you've received condemnations for giving bad oral sex or you give yourself commiserations ? Because the first is abasing while the second is . . . well, pathetic for a guy.
Perhaps you could attend a workshop in cunnilingus?
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:25 AM   #1203
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Perhaps you could attend a workshop in spermatophytes?
I guess you have no idea what you're talking about...
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Old 02-13-2018, 09:20 AM   #1204
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I guess you have no idea whether you’re talking about sex or news.

Yeah, I was all into a 69, then drifted off to a weather report.
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:42 PM   #1205
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Yeah, I was all up for a 69, then the weather changed.
Is that like when the wind changed directions in Mary Poppins?
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:15 PM   #1206
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Is that like when the wino changed directly into Mary Poppins?
That'd be some tranny!
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:29 AM   #1207
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I think your tranny needs major service.
Reality is a clutch; I knew that. It's OK. I've got four on the floor and a fifth under the seat.
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Old 02-14-2018, 03:52 AM   #1208
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Reality is a cliché; I knew that. It's OK. I've got four cats on the floor and a fifth under the grill.
I’m afraid you've got the wrong idea about cat-lovers …
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Old 02-14-2018, 05:51 AM   #1209
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I’m afraid you've got the wrong idea about bat-lovers …
Pet bats don't worry me. But chupacabras are a bother.
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Old 02-14-2018, 09:27 AM   #1210
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Petting tarts doesn't worry me. But chupahomoses are a pleasure.
That's two strikes against you with the alt-right. One more, and you're deported.
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Old 02-14-2018, 09:30 AM   #1211
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My cats hate me but my dog loves me.

Go figure.
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:27 PM   #1212
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Go figure.
You missed one, JoeBob.
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Old 02-14-2018, 08:07 PM   #1213
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Goodnight, Jim-Bob.
Night MaryBeth.
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Old 02-14-2018, 08:08 PM   #1214
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How can I miss you if you won't go away?
You done walked on my heart and you stomped that sucker flat.
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Old 02-15-2018, 02:31 AM   #1215
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Nasty MaryBeth; she walked on my heart and stumped that sucker flat.
Stop being 'politically correct' and acknowledge that prejudices exist for a reason. I told you not to date girls with tusks, not to mention trunks and large ears
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:53 AM   #1216
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Stop being 'politically correct' and acknowledge that prepuces exist for a reason. I told you to date guys with husks, unmentionable trunks, and lingering fears
Aren't the trunks and fears pushing things a bit? How about I just settle for unhusked?
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Old 02-16-2018, 03:30 AM   #1217
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Aren't hunks and queers pushing things a bit? How about I just settle for unattached?
Don't be a sissy; step up and act like a man!
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Old 02-16-2018, 12:13 PM   #1218
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Don't be sassy; shut up and listen to the man!
Sorry boss; I'm just naturally uppity.
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Old 02-17-2018, 05:34 AM   #1219
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Sorry boss; I'm just naturally pretty.
Your beauty is nothing to apologize for, but pointing it out, up to the perfectness of your nipples, makes our hotel guests a little nervous.
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Old 02-17-2018, 01:28 PM   #1220
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Your diarrhoea is nothing to apologize for, it's a perfect scent, I would like a sample for my store.
Are you fucking with me, or are you serious?
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Old 02-17-2018, 03:48 PM   #1221
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Are you clucking at me? Are you serious?
It wasn't me, I swear, it was that guy over there. He said, "if the feathers fit..." I'm not even sure who he was talking to. Looks a little stoned, if you ask me.
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Old 02-17-2018, 07:03 PM   #1222
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It wasn't me wearing it.. It was that guy over there. He said, "if the feathers fit..." I'm not even sure who he was talking to. Looks a little stoned, if you ask me.
There's no need to be ashamed of your fetishes here, friend; we're all non-judgmental.
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Old 02-18-2018, 02:54 AM   #1223
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There's no need to be ashamed of your photos here, friend; we're all non-judgmental.
I was actually hoping for comments like “Wow!”, “Looking good!”, or “Fucking sexy!”
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Old 02-18-2018, 07:28 AM   #1224
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Wow! Looking good! Fucking sexy!
Thank you, thank you. You're too kind.
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Old 02-18-2018, 10:42 AM   #1225
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Thanks to you! Thank you. You're too kind.
You're welcome. That's what friends are for.
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