Newbie Questions.

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This question has been asked several times. In fact, I asked it when I first started roaming around these parts. Many of the regular posters were kind enough to reply and you can see those replies here.

If you want to see how my response, and possibly the responses of others have changed, check here.

If you're looking for advice. It's best to do a little research and come back with specific questions. At the top of the forum we have the blue labeled stickies. There you can find the library with some resources to get you started.

Don't jump into the swimming pool without your bathing suit on. Baby steps.

Hello! I'm fairly new to this as well, but I can assure you that you've come to the right place.

I was given this on my first post:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=42017419&postcount=148

Many of Stella's post are great for us beginners.

Good luck to you on the beginning of your journey! Never hesitate to ask anybody here a question!

Drop me a line. I can tell you things.

Collegecoed12, I would suggest you pay attention to meek me and her posts and others who have some experience and time on the board. I would also strongly suggest you pay no attention to what ever posters who have been on this board all day long and have a single post to their credit.

As meek me said there is a ton of information in the green stickies at the top of the page. read then and then ask specific questions and you'll likely get good information.

After you have been here for a while you'll learn who you trust and respect and those few whose opinions you do not value so much.

Welcome.

Some will tell you to have nilla sex first.

Hopefully you've been having sex with yourself and your brain a while. So you know what works for you and are therefore able to communicate it to others.

If you are sure about being kinked but not exactly which flavors you enjoy, want, go to a local munch. A munch is typically a meeting of kinked people in a nilla public setting with nilla clothes.

From there, get to know and see via demos and develop more of an idea of what you may or may not be interested in. Get to know you around kink a bit more. Get to know people in real life who may be interested in showing you the ropes or developing a relationship.

Be certain you have good two way communication with all of these people and enjoy what you do together.

When having actually body fluid swapping sex use barrier method disease control EVERY time until you are in a committed relationship and possibly beyond if you have other partners in that relationship.

JMO.

Collegecoed12 said:

Hey, I'm a 21 year old female who is starting to discover BDSM. I'm just curious how others realized this lifestyle was for them? Any advice?

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You're also at the age where people start to discover fascism, it's probably a function of your violent society and inadequate education. Conflating sex and violence (simulated or otherwise) is predictable. What you feel are the symptoms of a disease.

I started here, actually. Reading, lurking, writing smut. I'm not sure I would be so clear about my desires without Lit.

Felix_Jones said:

You're also at the age where people start to discover fascism, it's probably a function of your violent society and inadequate education. Conflating sex and violence (simulated or otherwise) is predictable. What you feel are the symptoms of a disease.

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There's an age for that?

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I'm trying to find out the same...

Oldenburg said:

I'm trying to find out the same...

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Same sound advice from meekme and others, lots of chat, and then a bit more chat so you know what you want to try, and who with.

I too started learning more about my Top desires through here and have gone on to meet just one person from many contacts. Don't let my small posting number lead you astray, I had to stop using this for a while... And a cautionary tale of the wrong conversation .

Enjoy, there's not as many UK kinksters on here as I would like to see!

LucyCanyon said:

Same sound advice from meekme and others, lots of chat, and then a bit more chat so you know what you want to try, and who with.

I too started learning more about my Top desires through here and have gone on to meet just one person from many contacts. Don't let my small posting number lead you astray, I had to stop using this for a while... And a cautionary tale of the wrong conversation .

Enjoy, there's not as many UK kinksters on here as I would like to see!

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I'm just staring out so before I do anything I want all the facts/info I can get think its my age turned 30 in December.. I'm half way through the BDSM library I just find ' normal sex ' sooo boring I need something different.. Think it's just years of having boyfriend that don't pay attention to my 'need's' sadly been stuck with selfish lovers.. How bad is it that in my 16/17 years of being sexually active I've never had the big O ( only by masterbation, toys etc) anyway to much info there lol..

G x

I'm not sure that being bored by vanilla sex is enough to make you kinky. It may be that there's a larger issue you need to find and deal with. My ex was bored with sex after a while because it wasn't taboo anymore. (We were young.) As it turned out, she never developed a normal attitude toward sex in the first place and wasn't really able to enjoy it.

I suggest reading a lot to figure out if there is a type of sex that really turns you on and then doing a little introspection to figure out if it's pathological or if it's just a healthy variation on normal. I'm usually the last person to worry about where my kinks came from, I like what I like and don't care why, but in your case I think it's warranted.

I was aroused by non-sexual bondage before I was old enough to even know what arousal was. That's how I know it isn't just boredom for me. I didn't choose to be turned on by kink and sometimes I wish I could turn it off but I can't. Kink isn't a preference for me. To be happy and sexually fulfilled, I need it.