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Ponytail_Writer

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I recently joined as a member after years of enjoying articles. I am not new to writing, but have never written (for publishing) material of the adult nature. I have had several female partners benefit from erotic stories I wrote for them.

My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
I recently joined as a member after years of enjoying articles. I am not new to writing, but have never written (for publishing) material of the adult nature. I have had several female partners benefit from erotic stories I wrote for them.

My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...
No struggle. I'd had experience in songwriting (unpaid) and technical writing and editing (paid). After reading a bit of LIT I thought, "I can write better than THAT!" and proceeded.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
I recently joined as a member after years of enjoying articles. I am not new to writing, but have never written (for publishing) material of the adult nature. I have had several female partners benefit from erotic stories I wrote for them.

My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...

Yes. I've had concerns about the type of material I write, and whether or not it's exploitative.

I overcame it by primarily sticking to exploiting myself, and justifying it as 'therapy'.

Also, by observing the way other people treat each other in life, and figuring, hey, at least I don't behave like that in the real world.

For every piece of disgusting, smutty, exploitative fiction, there's a movie about disgusting, smutty, exploitative violence, that no one blinks an eyelid at.

Fiction delves into the dark and the dirty because in our sanitised lives, we still need that primal release. It's for the greater good, really.
 
Hypoxia said:
No struggle. I'd had experience in songwriting (unpaid) and technical writing and editing (paid). After reading a bit of LIT I thought, "I can write better than THAT!" and proceeded.
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I quite agree.
My only problem was to recognise what turned me on and write it.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...

The only struggle I had was finding the courage to click the "Publish"-button...
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
I recently joined as a member after years of enjoying articles. I am not new to writing, but have never written (for publishing) material of the adult nature. I have had several female partners benefit from erotic stories I wrote for them.

My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...

Writing is my personal therapy for all the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I suffered.

Since I can only write what I know, what I know is violence and sex, ergo, in my case, violence and sex has translated to and has manifested itself in erotica. Only, in my case, it wasn't very erotic being forced to have sex. It wasn't very erotic with all the things that men did to me and continue to do to women.

Yet, after delving into it all by flushing out characters when writing stories about them, I understand it all now. It all makes sense to me. It's clear to me. I get it. Writing has given me that clarity and that understanding of sex and men that I never knew but needed to know to forgive and to forget.

Even after 2 years of psychological therapy with a psychiatrist and group therapy with other women, here I am writing erotica on a porn board. Go figure. Yet, I get more out of writing stories about sex then I ever did talking about sex.

I don't care what other people think about me or my stories. Read them or not. I write for myself. I write to free the demons that have stopped me from doing the things that I wanted to do. Now, I'm free. I answer to no one. I'm accountable to no one. I'm finally doing what I was born to do. I'm finally doing what I love to do.

Like mother like daughter but in vastly different ways, it didn't bother my mother when she was stripping off her clothes while dancing around a pole and sexually teasing men for money. It didn't bother my mother to have sex with men for money. It didn't even bother my mother to have incestuous sex with all of her four sons before I was even born and that continued long after I was born. It didn't bother my mother that one of my brothers may be my father. With that kind of background part of my past, why should writing erotica bother me or anyone?

We all find our level in life and then, hopefully, we float to free ourselves from those grabbing at us. We float free from those not only holding us back but refusing to let us go to live the life we want and need to live to be free. We float free from our demons by not only outing them but also by writing about them. Instead of hiding under our beds or in our closets, monsters can't live with us shining bright lights on them.

Either you must write or you don't. Either you want to write erotica or you don't. Either you need to write about sex or you don't. There are plenty of other things that you can write about. Yet, whatever you write about you must have the discipline to persevere when those bash your stories, criticize you, and call you names for writing about things that are important to you and about things that they can't possibly understand. Just write.

I started with writing essays about my horrible life and my abusive mother and brothers. When my mother and brothers were making lots of money and drinking it or buying drugs with it, I wrote about how poor I was with nothing to eat and no clothes to wear. I wrote about being left alone with the TV as my babysitter. I wrote about not having new clothes for Easter, them forgetting my birthdays, not having gifts at Christmas, and not even having a Christmas tree. I wrote about my drunken and abusive ex-husband. I wrote about being homeless after losing everything in the 100-year-flood of the Susquehanna River on 9/11/11. Yet, I survived by writing stories about all that I had to go through to reach the other side.

Whether writing fiction, non-fiction, essays, or erotica, writing stories has saved my life. Writing stories has allowed me to survive my past, flourish in my present, and look forward to my future. Now, with apologies to no one, writing stories, especially erotic stories, is what I love to do and will continue to do until I die. Using characters to play me over and again, I've been cursed to write about my life in stories.

Good luck with whatever decision you make with your writing.
 
Last edited:
Kojak01 said:
The only struggle I had was finding the courage to click the "Publish"-button...
Click to expand...
The next struggle is finding patience to await acceptance. That first story takes fucking FOREVER for Laurel to pass. The anxious newby starts pummeling AH: How long will it take? What's the backlog? Why ain't I published yet? Maybe if I click on Pending,,,
 
Hypoxia said:
The next struggle is finding patience to await acceptance. That first story takes fucking FOREVER for Laurel to pass. The anxious newby starts pummeling AH: How long will it take? What's the backlog? Why ain't I published yet? Maybe if I click on Pending,,,
Click to expand...

:D Yeah, dimly remember that...
 
Hypoxia said:
The next struggle is finding patience to await acceptance. That first story takes fucking FOREVER for Laurel to pass. The anxious newby starts pummeling AH: How long will it take? What's the backlog? Why ain't I published yet? Maybe if I click on Pending,,,
Click to expand...
Hey. Where did you stand when I did all that? You must've been around looking at me ... :D

As for me, I have written a novel and a bunch of short stories when I was younger, just for fun. Then spent ages in hibernation and when I decided to go write again, I didn't know how. So ... I decided to write some erotica, because that was pretty much the only thing I've never written and found myself struggling with it - because I had never written it.

Turns out, the people here at lit are pretty forgiving and they actually seem to appreciate my story so far. So, I'm continuing writing - also because it feels bad to let them get stuck on that damn cliffhanger.
And in the meantime I realized I could write non-erotica again as well, so currently doing both in my spare time.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...
I didn't, but a friend of mine is trying to write his first story. He (and I) read incest and he's finding himself squeamish writing about a brother and sister having sex; something he's never felt reading about a brother and sister having sex.
 
8letters said:
I didn't, but a friend of mine is trying to write his first story. He (and I) read incest and he's finding himself squeamish writing about a brother and sister having sex; something he's never felt reading about a brother and sister having sex.
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A question for your friend - why is he trying to write something that makes him feel uncomfortable?

What you feel shines through your work, I think, so isn't he setting himself up to fail?
 
Frankly, it's weird at first. But the more you do it the easier and faster it gets. Focus on the storytelling and writing of it, and it's less weird, even if you're to make something titillating.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...

To quote Lana from Archer... nooooooope. Writing humour, historical fiction, and erotica/smut seem to come very naturally to me, and I'm happy for it. Especially when I can put all three together.

Sure, there are days/spans of time where writer's block happens, but once the floodgates open...
 
No. By the time I wrote my first erotic story, which I published at Literotica in December 2016, I had been reading erotic stories here and elsewhere for at least 15 years. If I had any reservations before, I had long since overcome them.

I'm not public about what I do, however. No one I know knows that I write these stories. So I suppose you could say that I harbor some reservations about writing the stories, at least in the sense I don't want people to know that I write them.
 
electricblue66 said:
A question for your friend - why is he trying to write something that makes him feel uncomfortable?

What you feel shines through your work, I think, so isn't he setting himself up to fail?
Click to expand...

Says the man who constantly tells me, 'write more wamens!'

While I quietly die inside.
 
I didn't have any inherent moral or ethical problem writing adult material. There are some topics I avoid. I don't write strokers very well, and I think I'd be better off if I didn't try now and then.
 
JasonClearwater said:
Tasty, tasty stable boys...
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Haha, I love that. Maybe just in chaps and riding boots!!

I don't have any qualms in general. There are certain things that I'll probably never delve into. I won't write BDSM because it's not my thing, ditto Non-con. There's nothing about it that bothers me as long as it's just fantasy. Most of the stories I've submitted to Lit are incest and cheating. I wanted to get into these categories to get out of my comfort zone. I've written a lot of GM/CD stories I've submitted else where. This is more a function of what I'm feeling as opposed to an indicator of my often confused moral compass.

To the OP, if you have something that bothers you, don't write it. Write what makes you want to write. After you get going, you can always return to those things if you want.
 
Sex and sexuality are not quite the taboo topic in Germany as it seems to be in the US. I've had the good fortune to be brought up in a relatively liberal home, so nudity and sex were "normal" things, not something to be ashamed of. Besides, when my younger brother was born when I was six, I started asking questions and my parents had no choice to explain all that stuff about breastfeeding and so on. The experience also did not cause me to have an intense desire to boink my mom.

So, when I began to write, the sex slipped into my stories. I could have censored myself, but why bother? It's not my fault people are so hung up on these issues. As with my visual impairment, people either accept me with it or they don't. Besides, my stuff is aimed at adults. They should have the faculties to deal with a few killings, demons, gender-swapping evil clerics and the occasional bit of group sex.

What gave me pause were the questions of "Is my writing up to snuff? Do I have something interesting to say?" After all, once it's out there, it's out there forever. The Internet never forgets. Writing under a nickname takes care of that :)
 
I'm primarily a non-erotic type writer. I do tend to add some romance in detail based more upon emotions within the story line. I've been told a lot of my stuff is erotic - I didn't realize I was going in that direction until it was pointed out to me.

I do tend to get very graphic in detail no matter what the subject. I have written very sexually explicit adult material, but I don't want to place it anywhere some kid might read it.

Maybe I have some hangups I'm not aware of and should consider sexually taboo stand alone stories.
 
Ponytail_Writer said:
I recently joined as a member after years of enjoying articles. I am not new to writing, but have never written (for publishing) material of the adult nature. I have had several female partners benefit from erotic stories I wrote for them.

My question to other authors out there: Does (or did) anyone have some sort of moral or ethical "struggle" about writing adult material? If so, how did you overcome and proceed? Just curious.
Click to expand...

Nope. I'm an adult. I can write whatever I want to. If the people I know don't like it, they don't have to read it.
 
_Lynn_ said:
Nope. I'm an adult. I can write whatever I want to. If the people I know don't like it, they don't have to read it.
Click to expand...

So true. Some people tend to forget that as they go around dictating their own self imposed delusional issues to others. There's certain subjects and material I don't like, but I'm not about to interfere w/some's right to write about it. As you said - they don't have to read it.
 
I write as a way to explore my sexual psyche, so--since I left behind a moral struggling with sexuality a long time ago--no, I don't and have never had a struggle with writing this kind of material.
 
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