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Once more with feeling.

Connubium said:
Okay,so tonight instead of posting pictures or just replying I decided to write a little bit about myself and my experiences here on Lit.
I've posting here for what, like six months now? (Can't see when I signed up :eek:).
When I first started my old thread I was pretty shocked with the responses I received, my inbox was flooded within an hour and there were so many replies on my thread, of them were nice, some lecherous, some barely coherent.
I didn't have self confidence issues, and I wasn't trying to boost my self esteem, I just wanted to explore my exhibitionism and embrace my sexuality.
Anyhoo time went on and I realised that not all of the reactions that I was going to get on here were going to be positive, I received threats, men sending pictures of their penises to me without me asking, men telling me that I was a sub/that I should be their slave/bitch/whatever, I had one man begging me to stop posting, I had guys who started out friendly but then became needy and manipulative, and a lot of guys who talked to me like I owed them something.
Anyway that thread ended and I took a short break and came back and made a new thread, still exploring myself but perhaps I was a little more insecure than when I started. I'd had a chance to look around and get to know this place I observed how women are spoken to and treated by a lot of men around here.It's always been a process of acting (posting pics or whatever) and then reflecting for me, reading others threads, other reactions etc.

So last week a guy who has posted on my threads from the start (lets call N****ion) sent me a message saying that he wanted to send me a pic of himself jacking off over my pictures. I think, 'erm no thanks, I have ZERO interest in seeing that', so ignore him, not wanting to hurt his feelings by telling him so. He doesn't take the hint, and PM's me asking for my email, I tell him that I no longer have a email for Lit, I don't give my personal one out and that I don't pic share privately because I'm in a relationship and frankly don't want to.
He calls me a psycho. That's right I'm a psycho because I don't want to see his junk :rolleyes:.
So then I was like (to myself) it's no big deal, it happens to all the women who post on AMpics.
Then I thought, 'wait, hold on a minute that is definitely a big deal'. The fact that the women that post here are expected to be able to just push aside the shit they have to deal with from men is ridiculous. Our sexual expression is not an invitation for sexual harassment and sexual harassment is fucking rife on Literotica. We are not objectifying ourselves, we are showing out sexuality, which is a human need.
We are human's and people. We're daughters, mothers, sisters, wives, we have interests, and listen to music, we have friends, and favourite Tv shows, and jobs, and hobbies and we have emotions as well as tits.
Some of you say that you find looking at women on here more erotic because we're 'real' and natural. I personally love AMpics because I think it's important for there to be representations of how 'normal' women look without photoshop or makeup artists. I think every single women who posts on here is brave and beautiful in their own way and we deserve to be treated in the very least like people, and normalization of sexual harassment on here needs to be stopped. I guess you could argue that that is the nature of the sex industry, but women deserve to be able to explore and experience their sexuality in an environment free of fear, threats and abuse.

Sure I know not everyone is like this, in fact I would say that I have been very lucky in befriending a lot of guys on here who are cool and awesome and who have never spoken inappropriately to me or made me uncomfortable. I know a lot of threads have stopped because 'one guys ruined it for the rest of them' by saying something hurtful or abusive to a woman, but the truth is a lot of men have ruined it for a lot of women.
We're sexy an great because we can express ourselves, like human being should, objects do not express themselves, so please don't treat us like objects. Although the objects may prefer looking at your cock pics. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

So very well said....some of the things I see posted on here blow my mind, I can only imagine what gets sent via PM. Women are not objects people...learn that.
 
Very well written posts, I hope it gives everyone some food for thought before their next post. The anonymity of these boards unfortunately gives some people the courage to write things they wouldn't say face to face.

On another note. Your last photo is beautifully done, your pose, the lighting, with the reflection....

Just Beautiful! :rose:
 
Connubium said:
For _me_ :rose:

IMG_5312_zpsc8cfe5dc.jpg
Click to expand...

I'm sorry some asshat was a dick to you, when my wife had a thread she got creepy PM's from one guy, he wouldn't stop so I outed him in the thread and he went away.

I would like to comment your picture that is for "You" also does it for me!!
 
Unfortunately, there are true ass hats around here who are emboldened by the anonymity of being able to hide behind a username.

I've seen comments from women on almost every social site complaining about men sending uninvited dick pics. It's idiotic, but it's not unique to Lit.

Perhaps the culture of free streaming porn 24/7 has led some men to dissociate women from their human-ness. I don't know. I just feel sad that women have to endure it and that some men don't even see anything strange about it. With some, it may be a form of bullying, I suppose. With others, I have to wonder if they just think that's how to get a woman's interest...
 
Connubium said:
I was wondering where you'd been, and thanks :)
Click to expand...

I took a little break from here for about a month. But I decided it was time to get back. And I'm sure glad I made that decision. :D

And well said with your other post. I think it's all too easy for people to come here and expect someone to be a certain way just because of where we are posting. I'm glad you have stuck around. :)
 
Connubium- very well stated. I hop-e that things like this do not make you want to quit. there have been a number of people who have do to people not taking hints & respecting posters. I for one, want to thank you for you taking the time & having the courage to share yourself like you have. I hope you continue to do so.
 
Ms. C.

Your comments are very well stated, are very appropriate, and should be made a mandatory reading before one is allowed to create a log-in identity and password on this site!

While reading your recent posts, the lyrics from Tom Petty's "I won't back down" kept playing in the back of my mind. :)
 
Connubium said:
Okay,so tonight instead of posting pictures or just replying I decided to write a little bit about myself and my experiences here on Lit.
I've posting here for what, like six months now? (Can't see when I signed up :eek:).
When I first started my old thread I was pretty shocked with the responses I received, my inbox was flooded within an hour and there were so many replies on my thread, of them were nice, some lecherous, some barely coherent.
I didn't have self confidence issues, and I wasn't trying to boost my self esteem, I just wanted to explore my exhibitionism and embrace my sexuality.
Anyhoo time went on and I realised that not all of the reactions that I was going to get on here were going to be positive, I received threats, men sending pictures of their penises to me without me asking, men telling me that I was a sub/that I should be their slave/bitch/whatever, I had one man begging me to stop posting, I had guys who started out friendly but then became needy and manipulative, and a lot of guys who talked to me like I owed them something.
Anyway that thread ended and I took a short break and came back and made a new thread, still exploring myself but perhaps I was a little more insecure than when I started. I'd had a chance to look around and get to know this place I observed how women are spoken to and treated by a lot of men around here.It's always been a process of acting (posting pics or whatever) and then reflecting for me, reading others threads, other reactions etc.

So last week a guy who has posted on my threads from the start (lets call N****ion) sent me a message saying that he wanted to send me a pic of himself jacking off over my pictures. I think, 'erm no thanks, I have ZERO interest in seeing that', so ignore him, not wanting to hurt his feelings by telling him so. He doesn't take the hint, and PM's me asking for my email, I tell him that I no longer have a email for Lit, I don't give my personal one out and that I don't pic share privately because I'm in a relationship and frankly don't want to.
He calls me a psycho. That's right I'm a psycho because I don't want to see his junk :rolleyes:.
So then I was like (to myself) it's no big deal, it happens to all the women who post on AMpics.
Then I thought, 'wait, hold on a minute that is definitely a big deal'. The fact that the women that post here are expected to be able to just push aside the shit they have to deal with from men is ridiculous. Our sexual expression is not an invitation for sexual harassment and sexual harassment is fucking rife on Literotica. We are not objectifying ourselves, we are showing out sexuality, which is a human need.
We are human's and people. We're daughters, mothers, sisters, wives, we have interests, and listen to music, we have friends, and favourite Tv shows, and jobs, and hobbies and we have emotions as well as tits.
Some of you say that you find looking at women on here more erotic because we're 'real' and natural. I personally love AMpics because I think it's important for there to be representations of how 'normal' women look without photoshop or makeup artists. I think every single women who posts on here is brave and beautiful in their own way and we deserve to be treated in the very least like people, and normalization of sexual harassment on here needs to be stopped. I guess you could argue that that is the nature of the sex industry, but women deserve to be able to explore and experience their sexuality in an environment free of fear, threats and abuse.

Sure I know not everyone is like this, in fact I would say that I have been very lucky in befriending a lot of guys on here who are cool and awesome and who have never spoken inappropriately to me or made me uncomfortable. I know a lot of threads have stopped because 'one guys ruined it for the rest of them' by saying something hurtful or abusive to a woman, but the truth is a lot of men have ruined it for a lot of women.
We're sexy an great because we can express ourselves, like human being should, objects do not express themselves, so please don't treat us like objects. Although the objects may prefer looking at your cock pics. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

C, you just won the fucking internet.

If it wouldn't be ridiculous to do so, I'd stick this in my sig. It's well said and, most importantly, completely true. It's unfortunate that there isn't really a way to deal with the harassment other than using the ignore list or just telling people to fuck off, but when you can just make another name on here to get around a ban or whatever, there's probably not much that can be done.

Mostly, I think people just need to be publicly called out when they do shit like that. They need to know that hiding behind a computer and a username doesn't make it okay.

I'm glad you've stuck around in spite of it all, because you're a cool person with a good sense of humor, regardless of the pictures you post.


Also, when people send you unsolicited pics of their dick, you should just send them back some gay porn. I'll bet most of them will get the hint.
 
Bravo to your posts about your Lit experience. I'm sorry to hear how trying it is at times. Some people are just shitheads. There's no getting around it. All I can advise is this: Post for as long as you enjoy it. Because if you're not enjoying it then it's not worth it. I, for one, will continue to enjoy your thread for as long as it pleases you. Thank you for sharing what you have.

Speaking of which...I love the pic on the couch. It's just as amazing as I remembered it. Perfection.
 
You've always been attentive and insightful but those last few posts sure highlight the personality behind the pictures.

You are correct; when the starting point is someone objectifying you, sometimes manners and common sense just fly out the door. Hence one might expect some abuse, name calling and downright shameful behaviour given the clientele...I have to admit I'm also guilty of it from time to time; maybe not to an extreme scale but to some extent.

To be honest, there seems to be some change in you since the last time you've been here...or maybe it's just me. Either way your attitude - pretty awesome.

Hope you're feeling better!

:kiss::rose:
 
Gorgeous girl has amazing things to say.

Always checking in here, just so you know... you're just too awesome not to ;)
 
I'm glad you spoke out. It's good to get some insight into the crap that women have to deal with here.

I admire your strength in both dealing with it ánd bringing out into the open.
 
tl;dr :rolleyes:

Just kidding. You know I'm addicted.

And for what it's worth, you're pushing 10 months on Lit. :p
 
wtexcat said:
That is a wonderful picture:)
Click to expand...

Thanks, glad ya like it.
EndlessNameless said:
Yeah. For me, that was blantantly obvious. :) Getting to know the poster obviously helps. Like I wouldn't just call you a slut for no reason unless I knew that maybe you liked that. Even then, given that you don't really know me and I'm fairly new to your thread, I'd probably shy away from it anyway. Being decent isn't hard. No pun intended. ;)
Click to expand...
I suppose I was making a sweeping statement, you always seem fine and dickish to me ;)

paulster2007 said:
You're beautiful. That's my opinion :). And I keep checking your thread on a daily basis because I know you have something to say and I enjoy reading your posts. You're lovely.
Click to expand...

Thanks, feel free to comment here more...just appropriately and don't call me a slut ;):D
query said:
It's kind of a Mars Venus thing and this particular medium is a self-selecting population of those of us that are tend to lean towards the socially inept side of things.

It's really just like real life although perhaps some of us have less experience at that.

One should always feel a girl out for her interest before one feels her up.

Oh....and in regards to your kind offer...is that with or without a nice silicoln based lube?
Click to expand...
I don't know...I think people (men) get away with a lot because 'it's just in their nature to say/think those things', I'm sorry but in this day and age, when some of you want to wear panties or eat another man's cum out of your ladies' lady parts, the 'it's in their nature' thing no longer applies :rolleyes:. These days women and men can come from whatever fucking planet they want, or can immigrate there...perhaps they were born on Mars but have always felt like they should have been born on Venus....the analogy got weird, point is there's a lot of outdated opinions that need to fuck off and stop being so destructive.

And re the other thing, still Ewwwww!

Aquarob said:
yes YES YES....thats the pic of pics.....!
Click to expand...

TY
indigolm said:
So very well said....some of the things I see posted on here blow my mind, I can only imagine what gets sent via PM. Women are not objects people...learn that.
Click to expand...
Thanks indi, you for one have always been very respectful, although I think you are just a peaceful/caring type of person in general :).
 
RawHumor said:
Unfortunately, there are true ass hats around here who are emboldened by the anonymity of being able to hide behind a username.

I've seen comments from women on almost every social site complaining about men sending uninvited dick pics. It's idiotic, but it's not unique to Lit.

Perhaps the culture of free streaming porn 24/7 has led some men to dissociate women from their human-ness. I don't know. I just feel sad that women have to endure it and that some men don't even see anything strange about it. With some, it may be a form of bullying, I suppose. With others, I have to wonder if they just think that's how to get a woman's interest...
Click to expand...

The thing is women are expected to think that it's 'normal', it's 'boys being boys' and that it's something they should come to expect if they're on here or some other social site. The worst is when some guys talk to you like they think they're just above you, it's hard to describe it's like they feel we are a slightly lower species :(.
A guy on here once, who's like a superstar poster I mean 50,000+ posts and a big player over in the playground, lots of women calling him daddy etc send me a message telling me he likes my ass and is going to send me stories he's written (not about me just old stories) that I may like. I say okay, and take a little while to reply to him message because I'm busy. He was not happy with me taking a while to reply in fact he said, 'I was starting to think I had wasted my time with you and you were just a silly whore', I apologize and explain I'm a single parent. He 'understands' and sends me another story that I didn't really ask for,this time I actually had to take a break and had to go to hospital and have a medical procedure and I didn't reply. He was not happy, I blocked him, but the whole time I thought if this guy wanted to he could ruin my fun on here. I've read a couple of 'snide' comments he made about me in threads. It wasn't a big deal, but he initiated it, he was the prick, and he was the one who didn't even think 'hey maybe she has a life and that's why she's not getting back to me'.

Tenenbaum said:
I took a little break from here for about a month. But I decided it was time to get back. And I'm sure glad I made that decision. :D

And well said with your other post. I think it's all too easy for people to come here and expect someone to be a certain way just because of where we are posting. I'm glad you have stuck around. :)
Click to expand...

It's nice to see you around again :). I guess it is easy, so we just need to make it hard for people to be like that, seriously it's not just a man issue, women need to stop being so accepting of it as well.

Prince Albert said:
Connubium- very well stated. I hop-e that things like this do not make you want to quit. there have been a number of people who have do to people not taking hints & respecting posters. I for one, want to thank you for you taking the time & having the courage to share yourself like you have. I hope you continue to do so.
Click to expand...

Thanks PA. You are someone I would consider pervy but not in an intimidating or bad way. You're quite friendly :), but your focus is mainly just kinky-sex-talk which is fine because I've never seen you force it down my throat or anyone else's, no pun :rolleyes:.

Spencationlit said:
Well I'm a sucker for ladies who are A) Funny B) Sharp when they need to be C) Sensual when they want to be D) Sexy always and E) actually pretty interesting :D
Click to expand...

I would be slightly offended my this insinuation that I'm less likely to be interesting because I'm female, but in general most people are pretty uninteresting regardless of gender.

investor said:
Your comments are very well stated, are very appropriate, and should be made a mandatory reading before one is allowed to create a log-in identity and password on this site!

While reading your recent posts, the lyrics from Tom Petty's "I won't back down" kept playing in the back of my mind. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks. Oh how I wish I knew who Tom Petty was :eek:.
Scuttle Buttin' said:
C, you just won the fucking internet.

If it wouldn't be ridiculous to do so, I'd stick this in my sig. It's well said and, most importantly, completely true. It's unfortunate that there isn't really a way to deal with the harassment other than using the ignore list or just telling people to fuck off, but when you can just make another name on here to get around a ban or whatever, there's probably not much that can be done.

Mostly, I think people just need to be publicly called out when they do shit like that. They need to know that hiding behind a computer and a username doesn't make it okay.

I'm glad you've stuck around in spite of it all, because you're a cool person with a good sense of humor, regardless of the pictures you post.


Also, when people send you unsolicited pics of their dick, you should just send them back some gay porn. I'll bet most of them will get the hint.
Click to expand...

Maybe I should just post my ignore list, it's hilariously big because I not only block when who are douchebags to me but also ones who I observe being idiots to other women. Also sometimes I will PM them and tell them very tactfully how much they suck,and then put them on ignore. I might find something repulsive to send them, feminist articles and suchlike :p.
 
BigJimSlade9 said:
Bravo to your posts about your Lit experience. I'm sorry to hear how trying it is at times. Some people are just shitheads. There's no getting around it. All I can advise is this: Post for as long as you enjoy it. Because if you're not enjoying it then it's not worth it. I, for one, will continue to enjoy your thread for as long as it pleases you. Thank you for sharing what you have.

Speaking of which...I love the pic on the couch. It's just as amazing as I remembered it. Perfection.
Click to expand...

It wasn't so much me posting it because I'm sick of Lit and I'm not enjoying myself. It's that it's so easy and acceptable for guys to stop me from enjoying myself and that I and other women have to compromise our fun just because some dude gets off my being saying rude or invasive things. Truth is that I like this place but I cant let it be to time consuming, so when I'm on here I don't want to have to waste my time explaining to some guy that I do not want to look at him naked, the other issue for me is that my boyfriend would really hate it if he knew other men sent me pics of themselves. All the behind the scenes chatting I do is purely friendly and that's all I want because I don't want to damage my relationship in any way.

Jwmasterdebater said:
You've always been attentive and insightful but those last few posts sure highlight the personality behind the pictures.

You are correct; when the starting point is someone objectifying you, sometimes manners and common sense just fly out the door. Hence one might expect some abuse, name calling and downright shameful behaviour given the clientele...I have to admit I'm also guilty of it from time to time; maybe not to an extreme scale but to some extent.

To be honest, there seems to be some change in you since the last time you've been here...or maybe it's just me. Either way your attitude - pretty awesome.

Hope you're feeling better!

:rose:
Click to expand...

Thanks :kiss:, I don't think I've changed much...I just don't care about pleasing everyone anymore and maybe I've gained a little more self worth, I no longer care if less people find me attractive because I'm not playing into their fantasy, and I'm not going to say things that make me feel uncomfortable just to please other anymore. Hope that makes sense :D.

Vixxennn said:
Gorgeous girl has amazing things to say.

Always checking in here, just so you know... you're just too awesome not to ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks Vixx! it's awesome to see your thread up and running again :heart:, to show my appreciation I'll send you five pictures of my flaccid cock, and just to make it and extra surprise I will just title the PM 'hey'...you know what I'm talking about ;).

In Anticipation said:
I'm glad you spoke out. It's good to get some insight into the crap that women have to deal with here.

I admire your strength in both dealing with it ánd bringing out into the open.
Click to expand...

Thanks IA, for the record you are someone who I've never seen be disrespectful and I think you're really good at being able to comment in a way that the women (and we're all different) is happy with.
Mercury_Maniac said:
you and that boy take amazing pics.


just heavenly, my god....
Click to expand...

Thanks you MM :heart:

Faime said:
You're an amazing woman Connubium
Click to expand...

Thanks Faime!

k_m_d_ said:
tl;dr :rolleyes:

Just kidding. You know I'm addicted.

And for what it's worth, you're pushing 10 months on Lit. :p
Click to expand...

Yeah and I know you totally hardly read what I wrote, if you did thank you for not pointing out the numerous grammatical errors :rolleyes:, not that you need to read it bestest buddy.
 
Connubium said:
Yeah and I know you totally hardly read what I wrote, if you did thank you for not pointing out the numerous grammatical errors :rolleyes:, not that you need to read it bestest buddy.
Click to expand...

If I were going to start pointing out all the grammatical errors people make on this site, I'd be busy for a while. :rolleyes:

And if that diatribe wasn't directed at me, then I totally need to redouble my efforts at making inappropriate comments that make you feel uncomfortable.
 
k_m_d_ said:
If I were going to start pointing out all the grammatical errors people make on this site, I'd be busy for a while. :rolleyes:

And if that diatribe wasn't directed at me, then I totally need to redouble my efforts at making inappropriate comments that make you feel uncomfortable.
Click to expand...


I don't think it's the comments that are your problem it's all the fucking pictures...I mean they starting out okay but that series you sent me with all the tiny little hats, or the 'Penises from around the world' series, those were just weird.
 
Connubium said:
I don't think it's the comments that are your problem it's all the fucking pictures...I mean they starting out okay but that series you sent me with all the tiny little hats, or the 'Penises from around the world' series, those were just weird.
Click to expand...

Who could be opposed to tiny little hats?

And I'd think you would have appreciated the penises from around the world composition. You get to see the whole spectrum of the diversity in penises the world has to offer without actually going out and risking the veritable cornucopia of STDs that the world also has to offer.

Maybe this means I should hold off on my grand masterpiece, 'penises from around the world wearing tiny little hats'. :rolleyes:
 
The pictures will only appear when you're ready to handle that level of awesomeness, it's a built-in safeguard. If you're not ready, then things get all 'Raider's of the Lost Ark', and quite frankly we're tired of having to clean up all the melted faces.
 
k_m_d_ said:
Who could be opposed to tiny little hats?

And I'd think you would have appreciated the penises from around the world composition. You get to see the whole spectrum of the diversity in penises the world has to offer without actually going out and risking the veritable cornucopia of STDs that the world also has to offer.

Maybe this means I should hold off on my grand masterpiece, 'penises from around the world wearing tiny little hats'. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
It wasn't even just the sexual harassment part that I had a problem with, but there was definitely some racial stereotyping going on as well, Mexico and Japan were especially bad but I do appreciate your 'range' so to speak. Personally I prefer the tasteful ones that show emotion, but my absolute favourite was The Lord of the rings series, that upside down shot where your balls look like Gandalf's beard and your cock is his nose...that's a fucking conceptual masterpiece.
 
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