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What is lingerie for?

Does lingerie have to be store bought lingerie? Is it over guilding the Lilly?

An overly large flannel shirt unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up has it's charms.

A wife beater t-shirt and a half slip. I've know a few women over the years that have been sexy as hell in such an outfit.

A large beach towel is the perfect one piece outfit for seduction.
 
TxRad said:
Does lingerie have to be store bought lingerie? Is it over guilding the Lilly?

An overly large flannel shirt unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up has it's charms.

A wife beater t-shirt and a half slip. I've know a few women over the years that have been sexy as hell in such an outfit.

A large beach towel is the perfect one piece outfit for seduction.
Click to expand...

Tex...we need to talk! I'm not gonna dispute that a flannel shirt is sexy under certain circumstances. A man's dress shirt and tie gets one hell of a reaction, too. But, if you buy me a beach towel or wife-beater and a half-slip as a gift and call it lingerie...well..."Here! Hold my beer and watch THIS!" :eek: :D

You are SUCH a TEXAN!:rolleyes:
 
TxRad said:
A wife beater t-shirt and a half slip. I've know a few women over the years that have been sexy as hell in such an outfit.

A large beach towel is the perfect one piece outfit for seduction.
Click to expand...

What is a "wife-beater" T-shirt ?
 
BattlingSoul said:
I would MUCH rather see a woman in some nice lingerie as oppoesed just flat out naked. The fact that she took the time to buy it, put it on, indicates that she has a DESIRE to be sexual/sensual...

Coming to bed flat out naked sends a, "let's just get this done" message...

Again, my PERSONAL opinion...
Click to expand...

I couldn't have said it better!
 
Handley_Page said:
What is a "wife-beater" T-shirt ?
Click to expand...

Handley...it's a thin white tank top...usually see-thru...that you see a lot of southerners wearing. (It goes with a can of beer and a belch.) :rolleyes: They call it a "wife-beater t-shirt" because most men who used to wear them back in the day, smacked their wives around when they had one beer to many. (They made a come-back in the '90's as a fashion statement...god help us!)

Help me out here, if you will. I'm looking for a few good men too smack Tex on the nose with a newspaper! :D
 
I don't like lingerie much. For me it relates to teasing and selfishness. It always amazes me- go into a department store and the women's clothing section is vast while the men's is so small- like it's an after thought. Women can wear any thing but men have to follow so many rules- can't wear skirts, dresses etc and the colours available to men look dirty before they're ever worn. I'm not a cross dresser but notice that it's some thing women do and it isn't labeled. Then there are women who are never seen- so much make up all the time. And the sanctimony in the media promoting female "rights" but never responsibilities. So superficial. There is much more, I won't continue but I think lingerie is one symptom of the excess and I'm tired of it.
 
TxRad said:
Does lingerie have to be store bought lingerie? Is it over guilding the Lilly?

An overly large flannel shirt unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up has it's charms.

A wife beater t-shirt and a half slip. I've know a few women over the years that have been sexy as hell in such an outfit.

A large beach towel is the perfect one piece outfit for seduction.
Click to expand...

Amen, but it's a different thing. When you catch your sweetheart (or, um, anyone else) in just comfortable, half open flannel and panties, you can at least pretend it's an accidental situation; she's alluring and tempting, but not signaling she necessarily wants it. Your thoughts turn to seduction, getting the yes. If she puts on lingerie, the yes is supposed to be assumed and the fun is in how you accept her offer. There's a difference between hunting and feasting.
 
sunandshadow said:
I am of course quite miffed that men by and large don't even think of wearing male lingerie to appeal to women. :rolleyes: At one point I did men's fashion design as a hobby, with a focus on clubwear and lingerie, but trying to get men to actually wear it was a non-starter. :mad:
Click to expand...

I'm surprised you're surprised. Males have exactly two views on clothing 1) wear what I want, whenever I can, and comfort and practicality rule. 2) If I have to impress someone, wear a suit.

Any other fascination with clothing is generally interpreted that you're at best self-absorbed, if not simply gay. (This isn't intended as a slap at gays; but if you're dressing to attract women, the "I'm gay" signal is not the one you want to send.)

Males do best at getting girls by conforming to certain stereotypes, certain common ideas of maleness. Women respond well to the "I don't give a fuck, I like these jeans and boots" male disdain for fussing, because it reeks of independence and self-determination and is nothing like a woman spending 45 minutes deciding which earrings work. They respond to suits because suits signal wealth and an ability to be socially correct when it really matters.

Funny story: at one time a coworker and I (her in her early 20's, attractive and single) and I were in a position to talk to a guy also in his very early 20s, we were coaching him on a technical subject. There was some side conversation and I asked him about his social life; he made a non-committal reply. I was surprised - he was decent looking and I figured he wouldn't mind an opening to relate a tale of social prowess in front of the pretty coworker.

Afterwards my coworker laid it into me. "Couldn't you tell he was gay?"

"Huh?"

"He wasn't looking at me. And his fingernails, careful hair, coordinated outfit. Are you blind?"

I hadn't gotten it but she'd read him in seconds. Since then I've figured it out - the guy that dresses too pretty or too flamboyantly is not looking for women. If he's looking for women, he has to stick to the narrowband range of clothing options women take as proper sexual signaling.
 
HandsInTheDark said:
Amen, but it's a different thing. When you catch your sweetheart (or, um, anyone else) in just comfortable, half open flannel and panties, you can at least pretend it's an accidental situation; she's alluring and tempting, but not signaling she necessarily wants it. Your thoughts turn to seduction, getting the yes. If she puts on lingerie, the yes is supposed to be assumed and the fun is in how you accept her offer. There's a difference between hunting and feasting.
Click to expand...

The wearing of lingerie does not guarantee play in every occasion; there are some ladies who like to wear lingerie just for the sake of wearing it, and there are some who wear it more days than not. Clothing is not an assumed 'yes' unless that is something already agreed upon among all play partners.

Even in play, wearing lingerie could just be a small piece in a much larger game, especially if dealing with a brat, a cock-tease, a domme, an alpha-type etc, etc. There may still be some 'hunting' and seduction required to earn that 'yes' depending on the partner.

"See what you could be having? Well, you can't have it. Want it? Fucking work for it then."
 
holliday1960 said:
So, if men like unwrapping the package so much, why do they almost always insist on undressing themselves? Very few men will allow the women to undress them. I'm gonna cry "foul!" on that one.:confused:
Click to expand...

Men remember being very young boys and being dressed by their mommies. I'm all grown up now and I'll deal with my own clothes, thanks. For extra macho points, do it with an apparent complete indifference to what the woman is looking at or how much her hands signal she wants to help.
 
I have to agree with Tex.
A chick in a sexy bustier and stockings is hot as hell...but just out of the shower, hair piled on top of her head, wearing shorts and a tank top, or still wrapped in a towel is even sexier to me. Every inch of her is nice and warm and smells so good....
 
Okay, I get what some of you are saying...I already admitted that spontaneous and comfortable clothes can be sexy. BUT...the OP was about buying lingerie for women as GIFTS! That is an entirely different thing!

If you give a woman a towel for Valentine's Day and try to call it lingerie...well...you guys let me know how that works out for yah!
 
holliday1960 said:
Okay, I get what some of you are saying...I already admitted that spontaneous and comfortable clothes can be sexy. BUT...the OP was about buying lingerie for women as GIFTS! That is an entirely different thing!

If you give a woman a towel for Valentine's Day and try to call it lingerie...well...you guys let me know how that works out for yah!
Click to expand...

How about if ya take her to a nice resort that supplies luxurious towels?

That might work pretty well. ;)
 
holliday1960 said:
Okay, I get what some of you are saying...I already admitted that spontaneous and comfortable clothes can be sexy. BUT...the OP was about buying lingerie for women as GIFTS! That is an entirely different thing!

If you give a woman a towel for Valentine's Day and try to call it lingerie...well...you guys let me know how that works out for yah!
Click to expand...

Shelly Berman: "Maybe she tried something on and snapped out"
('Phoning a Department Store')
 
TxRad said:
How about if ya take her to a nice resort that supplies luxurious towels?

That might work pretty well. ;)
Click to expand...

Now, you're getting the picture, cowboy! ;) I knew that smack upside your head would shake them rocks loose sooner or later!:D A nice warm jacuzzi and a plushy towel will do nicely, thank you! All that's missing now is that bearskin rug...? (Compliments of princess laid-yah, of course:D:devil:!)
 
Buying lingerie is a dangerous proposition for a man: how much better to suggest you buy it together? Not in a "you need some goddam lingerie girl, because ...." - you need to choose the time, the mood etc.
As for gilding, I'd compare lingerie to the presentation of a good restaurant. Anyone can slap a meal on a plate, but it's about how it's served, how carefully it has been arranged on the plate, the cut glass for the wine... and like a good restaurant, coffee-spewing at the subsequent bill off limits.
I'm relieved that at least we all use the same word for lingerie both side of the pond: unlike panties and knickers ;)
 
I would like to chime in here with some of my opinions.

While not wanting to offend any one, many women look better with a little lingerie on. I am especially fond of the bra. A nice bra can make almost any pair of tits look better and if there is a matching pantie it just get's better.

Men are wired for the visual much more than women.
 
weftandwarp said:
I don't like lingerie much. For me it relates to teasing and selfishness. It always amazes me- go into a department store and the women's clothing section is vast while the men's is so small- like it's an after thought. Women can wear any thing but men have to follow so many rules- can't wear skirts, dresses etc and the colours available to men look dirty before they're ever worn. I'm not a cross dresser but notice that it's some thing women do and it isn't labeled. Then there are women who are never seen- so much make up all the time. And the sanctimony in the media promoting female "rights" but never responsibilities. So superficial. There is much more, I won't continue but I think lingerie is one symptom of the excess and I'm tired of it.
Click to expand...

Some women acquire lingerie for the benefit of [a] their partner, and themselves (not necessarily in that order!).
And the men's wear in a department store might be smaller: Men do not usually have such a need, therefore a decent line in cotton underwear (maybe coloured), will be sufficient for most needs. But -
- realise a woman might want to change her appearance occasionally (for reasons best known to herself).


HandsInTheDark said:
Amen, but it's a different thing. When you catch your sweetheart (or, um, anyone else) in just comfortable, half open flannel and panties, you can at least pretend it's an accidental situation; she's alluring and tempting, but not signalling she necessarily wants it. Your thoughts turn to seduction, getting the yes. If she puts on lingerie, the yes is supposed to be assumed and the fun is in how you accept her offer. There's a difference between hunting and feasting.
Click to expand...

Not if the man has more than half a brain. He may still have to work for his ends.
 
HandsInTheDark said:
I'm surprised you're surprised. Males have exactly two views on clothing 1) wear what I want, whenever I can, and comfort and practicality rule. 2) If I have to impress someone, wear a suit.

Any other fascination with clothing is generally interpreted that you're at best self-absorbed, if not simply gay. (This isn't intended as a slap at gays; but if you're dressing to attract women, the "I'm gay" signal is not the one you want to send.)

Males do best at getting girls by conforming to certain stereotypes, certain common ideas of maleness. Women respond well to the "I don't give a fuck, I like these jeans and boots" male disdain for fussing, because it reeks of independence and self-determination and is nothing like a woman spending 45 minutes deciding which earrings work. They respond to suits because suits signal wealth and an ability to be socially correct when it really matters.

Funny story: at one time a coworker and I (her in her early 20's, attractive and single) and I were in a position to talk to a guy also in his very early 20s, we were coaching him on a technical subject. There was some side conversation and I asked him about his social life; he made a non-committal reply. I was surprised - he was decent looking and I figured he wouldn't mind an opening to relate a tale of social prowess in front of the pretty coworker.

Afterwards my coworker laid it into me. "Couldn't you tell he was gay?"

"Huh?"

"He wasn't looking at me. And his fingernails, careful hair, coordinated outfit. Are you blind?"

I hadn't gotten it but she'd read him in seconds. Since then I've figured it out - the guy that dresses too pretty or too flamboyantly is not looking for women. If he's looking for women, he has to stick to the narrowband range of clothing options women take as proper sexual signaling.
Click to expand...

It's not that I'm surprised, it's that I'm frustrated. I personally don't like suits, and "Women respond well to the "I don't give a fuck, I like these jeans and boots" male disdain for fussing, because it reeks of independence and self-determination and is nothing like a woman spending 45 minutes deciding which earrings work." <-this is not me and I don't find that attractive. I like pretty rockers, goths, and punks. I think men who don't take care to look attractive clearly aren't interested enough in obtaining a girlfriend or wife for me, and are probably unimpressive specimens due to their lack of creativity and artistry.

Historically there have been many periods where average straight men did try to dress in attractive clothes, we just haven't had one of these periods in the US since the 80s, because shortly after that is when men dressing well became culturally associated with gayness. If you look south though, you can immediately see trends for flashy male clothing like those long-toed boots, combined with traditional cowboy flash like hats and belt buckles, and occasionally native American influences like turquoise rings, bracelets, and bolo ties. Europe and Asia have a variety of different men's clothing trends.
 
sunandshadow said:
It's not that I'm surprised, it's that I'm frustrated. I personally don't like suits, and "Women respond well to the "I don't give a fuck, I like these jeans and boots" male disdain for fussing, because it reeks of independence and self-determination and is nothing like a woman spending 45 minutes deciding which earrings work." <-this is not me and I don't find that attractive. I like pretty rockers, goths, and punks. I think men who don't take care to look attractive clearly aren't interested enough in obtaining a girlfriend or wife for me, and are probably unimpressive specimens due to their lack of creativity and artistry.

Historically there have been many periods where average straight men did try to dress in attractive clothes, we just haven't had one of these periods in the US since the 80s, because shortly after that is when men dressing well became culturally associated with gayness. If you look south though, you can immediately see trends for flashy male clothing like those long-toed boots, combined with traditional cowboy flash like hats and belt buckles, and occasionally native American influences like turquoise rings, bracelets, and bolo ties. Europe and Asia have a variety of different men's clothing trends.
Click to expand...

I agree.

As I remember reading, when Admiral Sir Cloudesly Shovel was ship wrecked with his fleet on the Scilly Isles he was found by a woman lying on a beach after the ordeal. She saw his jewelry and quickly dispatched him to keep his jewels.

Here men dress to show a work ethic. The clothes are cheap and serviceable though they tend to fall apart after being on the clothes line a few times. Some men have been beaten by the poverty and unemployment. Clearly, they don't give a shit, are prepared to go without and are prepared to live for the rest of their lives on the dole. A lot of the women have gone- to live in the city. I shop in op shops. The clothes are often better and brighter. I try to wear colour in an effort to combat the suicide rate- I don't like "dirty" clothes. The suicide rate is very high among men who aren't achieving "expectations". They also engage in dangerous behaviours. No one cares. There is a car that gets around the district covered with information about suicide and trying a lone handed effort to provide an out from suicide among men. When I look at things about lingerie it makes me think about how we have a gender based inequality that is stark and being actively promoted. I hope it isn't so where you live.
 
weftandwarp said:
I agree.

As I remember reading, when Admiral Sir Cloudesly Shovel was ship wrecked with his fleet on the Scilly Isles he was found by a woman lying on a beach after the ordeal. She saw his jewellery and quickly dispatched him to keep his jewels.

Here men dress to show a work ethic. The clothes are cheap and serviceable though they tend to fall apart after being on the clothes line a few times. Some men have been beaten by the poverty and unemployment. Clearly, they don't give a shit, are prepared to go without and are prepared to live for the rest of their lives on the dole.
Click to expand...

Wasn't Admiral Shovell the one who had a rating hanged for reporting the danger ?

And I don't think that (young) men have looked smart since the mid 1960s, when a decent-looking suit cost a modest sum ('John Collier, John Collier, the Window to watch') and a tolerably fashionable black leather shoes would take a good shine when going out on a Saturday night.
 
Handley_Page said:
And I don't think that (young) men have looked smart since the mid 1960s, when a decent-looking suit cost a modest sum ('John Collier, John Collier, the Window to watch') and a tolerably fashionable black leather shoes would take a good shine when going out on a Saturday night.
Click to expand...

Women are supposed to want us for our personalities.
 
I think fashion is an expression of personality, especially when you are young. Women change their hair style to either suit their mood or to change their mood. Maybe some men would like to change their clothing styles for the same reason.

Some suggested women dress for themselves, but I don't buy that theory. I've never known a woman who just wanted to spend a quiet evening at home alone to dress in her sexiest lingerie. Maybe there is someone out there who does do that on occasion, but I think it is rare. Dressing for others is also apparent in the way women constantly ask if they look okay in a certain outfit.
 
holliday1960 said:
I think fashion is an expression of personality, especially when you are young. Women change their hair style to either suit their mood or to change their mood. Maybe some men would like to change their clothing styles for the same reason.
Click to expand...

Um... I've never heard of it. I put on clothes because it can be cold out and people are not down with the alternative. The idea of changing a mood by changing clothing isn't even laughable, it's just completely incomprehensible. Clothing has nothing to do with moods. Clothing has nothing to do with anything, short of keeping me socially acceptable and warm in winter. There are plenty of things I do to express my personality - I have a lot of hobbies, I can write, I've even dabbled in music composition. How I comb my hair isn't one of them.

It's worth nothing that 1) I'm a 0 on the Kinsey scale because he didn't define a -1 and 2) even people who know and love me have occasionally commented that "I'm just so fucking male sometimes." And I don't qualify as young. I mean, I still goggle at the fact that younger men these days shave their pubic area. Seriously? In my day girls picked hair out of their teeth and learned to smile anyway. Sheesh. Shaving a face is annoying enough.
 
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