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As The Hospital Pervs

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I just took the pants off a pending raging alcoholic. He's been here before. This time the ribs are fractured.

He said: I'm shy. Why are you taking my pants off. I said: they are dirty. He said: I know that next you'll be strapping me to the bed like an animal. That's what you people do here.

Then he wanted to know if I was going to give him a 40oz with his lunch to prevent any problems.
 
Dr Dick said: Can you get me the chart for bed 2?

Except it wasn't a question. So I went and got it for him cause it felt good.
 
sweepthefloor said:
I just took the pants off a pending raging alcoholic. He's been here before. This time the ribs are fractured.

He said: I'm shy. Why are you taking my pants off. I said: they are dirty. He said: I know that next you'll be strapping me to the bed like an animal. That's what you people do here.

Then he wanted to know if I was going to give him a 40oz with his lunch to prevent any problems.
Click to expand...


A nurse I dated years ago told me about the guy in her ICU who was alcoholic and bleeding from every orifice he owned. I think he made about 36 hours before croaking. I think he was 39.


That stuff is nasty.
 
Wat_Tyler said:
A nurse I dated years ago told me about the guy in her ICU who was alcoholic and bleeding from every orifice he owned. I think he made about 36 hours before croaking. I think he was 39.


That stuff is nasty.
Click to expand...
Yes, it can be wildly nasty. I don't want to be cynical but if a drinker bleeds out the death has been easy compared to liver failure lingering.

Today's ETOH special is hepatotenal syndrome on top of a respiratory failing pneumonia. There's a tube in every hole. Not following commands.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Yes, it can be wildly nasty. I don't want to be cynical but if a drinker bleeds out the death has been easy compared to liver failure lingering.

Today's ETOH special is hepatotenal syndrome on top of a respiratory failing pneumonia. There's a tube in every hole. Not following commands.
Click to expand...
Yup. Hepatic encephalopathy is horrible. I'll never forget the first time I saw it. I didn't think I could be shocked anymore, but that one proved me wrong. Way wrong.
 
BeachMomma said:
Yup. Hepatic encephalopathy is horrible. I'll never forget the first time I saw it. I didn't think I could be shocked anymore, but that one proved me wrong. Way wrong.
Click to expand...

The universe has an infinite capacity for shocking images.

Luckily it also has an infinite capacity for wondrous images.
 
John Doe said:
The universe has an infinite capacity for shocking images.

Luckily it also has an infinite capacity for wondrous images.
Click to expand...
Nurses, paramedics, and cops are probably among the few who see pretty much everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's no wonder we become jaded; it's almost a necessity of self-preservation.

We can only hope that the wondrous images outnumber the shocking images when it's all said and done. I got to work in pediatrics the other day. The one shift of images from the kids in that department outnumbered the last couple of years' worth of images from my regular floor. I typically work with a lot of drug addicts. I think I'll ask to float to peds at least once a year to renew my faith in humanity.
 
BeachMomma said:
Yup. Hepatic encephalopathy is horrible. I'll never forget the first time I saw it. I didn't think I could be shocked anymore, but that one proved me wrong. Way wrong.
Click to expand...
Yesterday my critical care tech who is almost a nurse did the talking for me: Mr. James, your nurse is going to put a tube in your rectum because the medicine is going to make you have lots of watery poop so that your body will clear the toxins in your body. We have to put this tube in because we don't want the skin on your bottom to get burned from your stool. We can't be having any skin breakdown, not on our time.

Mr James didn't respond. He's in a stupor on a ventilator-- no sedation necessary at this point. I even took the restraints off.

  • Albumin
  • Lactulose
  • Lasix
  • Albumin
  • Fresh Frozen Plasma
  • Lactulose

  • Packed Red Blood Cells
  • Albumin
  • Lasix
  • Paracentesis
  • Lactulose
  • Fresh Frozen Plasma
  • Mouth Care
 
Mr James also has a pneumonia. He probably aspirated on his own vomit. The sputum is thick.

Me: Can you get a sputum trap for culture. I left the label on your ventilator. I am busy.
Respiratory Therapist: I got your trap right here. You think the RT department is the Hospital's bitch?
Me: Label is on the vent, bye.
 
BeachMomma said:
Nurses, paramedics, and cops are probably among the few who see pretty much everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's no wonder we become jaded; it's almost a necessity of self-preservation.

We can only hope that the wondrous images outnumber the shocking images when it's all said and done. I got to work in pediatrics the other day. The one shift of images from the kids in that department outnumbered the last couple of years' worth of images from my regular floor. I typically work with a lot of drug addicts. I think I'll ask to float to peds at least once a year to renew my faith in humanity.
Click to expand...
I won't go anywhere near a pediatric floor. It's why I won't do transport, even though I always wanted to transport.

Self-preservation: The Resident came in the room when I was giving water flush via the NGT. I whispered: I am watering our flower.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Yesterday my critical care tech who is almost a nurse did the talking for me: Mr. James, your nurse is going to put a tube in your rectum because the medicine is going to make you have lots of watery poop so that your body will clear the toxins in your body. We have to put this tube in because we don't want the skin on your bottom to get burned from your stool. We can't be having any skin breakdown, not on our time.

Mr James didn't respond. He's in a stupor on a ventilator-- no sedation necessary at this point. I even took the restraints off.

  • Albumin
  • Lactulose
  • Lasix
  • Albumin
  • Fresh Frozen Plasma
  • Lactulose

  • Packed Red Blood Cells
  • Albumin
  • Lasix
  • Paracentesis
  • Lactulose
  • Fresh Frozen Plasma
  • Mouth Care
Click to expand...
That's not good. How much did they get when they tapped him?
 
sweepthefloor said:
I won't go anywhere near a pediatric floor. It's why I won't do transport, even though I always wanted to transport.

Self-preservation: The Resident came in the room when I was giving water flush via the NGT. I whispered: I am watering our flower.
Click to expand...
I have mixed feelings about peds. I'm scared of little people. I know a lot of them will grow up to be addicts like they started their lives. I hate having to do things to babies that make them hurt. It makes me want to do mean things to the parents who never should be having babies in the first place.

But.

The eternal optimist in me hopes that this baby will be the one to break the cycle. It reminds me that there is beauty in the world that I've gotten so used to seeing ugly. It brings out the nurturer, protector, and child in me.
 
If I told you what this day has been like, you wouldn't believe me. I still haven't charted my 0900 assessments yet.
 
BeachMomma said:
If I told you what this day has been like, you wouldn't believe me. I still haven't charted my 0900 assessments yet.
Click to expand...
I know exactly what you are going through. I have been there before and it is a bad feeling. I hope you at least got vital signs charted to ease some of the mental burden.

I wish I could be there with you to sweep up from behind, and put a clean top sheet on all your people, and we can be like rock stars. So, keep them alive till 7:05 and get clicking.

I believe you. You are almost there. :rose:
 
BeachMomma said:
I have mixed feelings about peds. I'm scared of little people. I know a lot of them will grow up to be addicts like they started their lives. I hate having to do things to babies that make them hurt. It makes me want to do mean things to the parents who never should be having babies in the first place.

But.

The eternal optimist in me hopes that this baby will be the one to break the cycle. It reminds me that there is beauty in the world that I've gotten so used to seeing ugly. It brings out the nurturer, protector, and child in me.
Click to expand...
I can't handle the kids no matter the scenario-- Those pediatric nurses must be amazing to be able to do that everyday.

Children are resilient, and that is beautiful.
 
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