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Why do we like being submissive?

Its the fantasy..

sub2femdom said:
For me, it was a realization as I got older.

I've never been that 'alpha male' in vanilla life, but also I've had an enormous amount of responsibility on my shoulders since I was 18. My first several girlfriends just happened to not drive, many of them not work either, so I had to take care of them financially. Many of them took advantage of me being a 'nice guy', and all of them eventually cheated on me.

It took me years to realize that 'nice' was a bad habit. But anyhoo, I naturally had to be aggressive at workplaces, being ultra responsible, and prove myself reliable in leadership and management roles. I eventually worked my way up to the executive level. All the while, my wife didn't drive, didn't work (she did work when I met her), but something about me made women think they could just sit back and be taken care of, so after many years, I demanded she get her license, and more or less strong-armed her into it. She now works full time, and has for years.

So.. sorry this got long. I realized that I as always a beta-type male, and my first submissive play was simply bliss. No decision making, no responsibility for anyone's pleasure, even my own. I get butterflies when commanded to perform acts, and do so willingly, and feel so perfectly natural being submissive in the bedroom.

In my vanilla life, I am more of a control freak, I know how the world works, and how to get things done, so I am I guess an A-type executive in that world, and fully accept it, but in a different world, where the wife was the high paid executive? Oh yes, I could live in that world, and be her bitch, oh yes.
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I love it too, I am Type A in many ways, but to be a sub is exciting. I date the occasional CD, and they enjoy me being the A.
 
Because I’m anything but submissive in daily life, a total Type A.... so giving a strong man control over my sexual life is incredibly hot, although I have only just discovered how much it appeals to me.
 
aluzion said:
What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.
Click to expand...

This is a difficult question to answer. I've been asking myself that question for years and I'm not 100 percent certain I've got an adequate answer....but I'll try.

There is a really powerful emotional charge that comes from being made helpless, vulnerable and submissive. There's a massive surge of adrenaline. Along with that rush of adrenaline comes a potent rush of sexual arousal. My skin feels all tingly, my heart pounds in my chest much faster and I get this delicious feverish feeling.

Somehow I just feel more alive.
 
DDBustyBrit said:
Because I’m anything but submissive in daily life, a total Type A.... so giving a strong man control over my sexual life is incredibly hot, although I have only just discovered how much it appeals to me.
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For a long time I thought my submissive traits were a strong inverse reaction to the "type A" (terrible stereotype) I am IRL. I work in a super-competitive industry and am definitely in the driver's seat of my life. However, while this is a factor, I think this is not the sole part of it. I now suspect (after much therapy) it also link to self esteem issues that are pretty common in high achievers. We go hard to win praise and recognition. The beauty of submission is there is no need for praise or recognition: The pressure is off. We don't have to call the shots, or second-guess what those around us are thinking. We just have to be. My mind is quieter when being a submissive than any other time and it is blessed relief from the tornado of doubt and castigation I deal with every day from an unkind inner monologue. Being submissive brings peace not present anywhere else.

----

https://www.literotica.com/s/room-ch-03
https://www.literotica.com/s/room-ch-02
https://www.literotica.com/s/room-ch-01

Meanwhile
 
I discovered my submissive nature and my willingness to obey the instructions of dominant men at a tender age with my best friend Larry when we decided to masturbate together. Although he was both younger and less physically developed that I was, his cock was MUCH bigger than my pathetically small penis! I was hypnotized by the impressive length and thickness of his disproportionately adult sized cock and both he and I immediately recognized him as being my sexual superior. He knew that this entitled him to orally dominate me and that I would agree to perform for him any and all sexual acts he instructed me to do. He wasted no time in asserting his control over me and I soon became his willing and eager personal cocksucker, a relationship that lasted for many years and one that I have repeated with many men since him throughout my life.
 
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SaraDarkened said:
In a sense, when your submissiveness awakens, you become more confident and bold, but in a way we don't normally define as 'confident' or 'bold'.
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I know I'm not the first to say "THIS"^^^ but you've described my feelings succinctly. :rose:
 
I just like to please and to make people happy for a while.

giphy.gif
 
Everyone else has these well thought out responses and I'm just over here like, "Hey dick, give me something to post in this thread" and he's all, "The fuck did I tell your dumb ass about asking questions?"

And that's... really as far as I ever got with that. I literally just do it because I like it and I always have. I don't have a cool story or psychological reason or anything, it was just as easy as, "This feels right, I like it, so I'm gonna do it."

Which is not a great life motto but for most of my life it did seem to be the one I lived by. I have more sense now, but the sub thing really doesn't hurt anyone and it creates great sex so like... that's what I'm gonna do.

Because subspace exists, I don't think anyone who is a sub can help it. I think it's innate or something. Because you just kind of... will get that high and then you have to ride it out. You can't snap out of it. So I guess I'm just a sub by default, because I don't know how not to be.
 
Yes sub space is definitely a fringe benefit! Whether edged to delirium, trigger by hypnosis or just being there naturally after your dominant has put you there. Nothing beats it!
 
After 34 years of not being submissive at all life problems and health issues got me to looking at things I hadn't done and found it was amazing as that feeling of belonging to someone who makes you feel safe was a first for me. Was raised by wolves essentially and have done my own thing and/or tended to get shoved into the fix the situation role over the years. Thats what does it for me now, most of the rest is fun or I am happy to dive in and try because it is her kink wheel house. So sense of belonging to someone who provides emotional safety and new experiences, but I would guess my life experiences tend to be a bit on the outlier side so this is likely differnt than most others.
 
I enjoy being submissive because of the freedom it allows. In being owned, and controlled, (which I am currently not) I am free to express my deep admiration and worship of Him. I make choices all day long. When it comes to the intimacy of submission, and the relinquishing of choice, that is where I flourish.
I also delight in knowing He knows me well enough to do what is best for Him, and in turn, me.
Don't get me wrong, I am a free thinker, it is just refreshing to let go.
Plus, a sound beating is always appreciated.:)
 
Not so sure it's something I like or more just a way of life.
I work in a high paced industry that doesn't allow much down time. I submit because I need it I crave it.
The feeling of freedom as mentioned before it's the freedom to not have to choose to know I'm safe happy and in pleasing him I please myself.
Submitting is just right for me a part of myself.
 
I like to ge submissive in the bedroom because in every other aspect of my life I am the leader. This is true in my occupations (yes pleural) as well as my hobbies. In both my occupations and hobbies I sometimes am called upon to make quick decisions which could be life or death decisions, for me and/or others. It's nice to hang up responsibilities at the door and let someone else take charge.
 
philos said:
I think for me it is being the center of attention. When being spanked or beaten or whatever I feel like I am noticed.
Click to expand...

This is it for me, especially at play parties. Something about being noticed, gets me energized, but it's not like performing music or something. I'm getting noticed, but there's a lot less pressure and stage fright.

I was also super subby when I managed a small cafe right after college. Being in charge of six other twenty somethings didn't leave much energy for me to be the top in the bedroom.
 
Probably because in real life men are associated with machismo or at the least to be the responsible leader of the house. So we need that escape for that part of personality that's vulnerable and needy. At least that's how I feel.
 
I am submissive because that is who I am. It isn't a preference. It isnt a patch or a certificate or a job title. It is how my personality works out. It is the natural way my relationships flow. I don't know that I would say I seek them, but every relationship I end up in just ends up that way. I enjoy being submissive but I hate it too. It is a mixed blessing. When things are good, it is my greatest peace and relief. When things are bad, like when I mess up and let my partner down, I am devastated. I like knowing where I stand. I like knowing what is expected of me. I like that the communication is much more direct with no need to hide from reality.
 
sub2femdom said:
For me, it was a realization as I got older.

I've never been that 'alpha male' in vanilla life, but also I've had an enormous amount of responsibility on my shoulders since I was 18. My first several girlfriends just happened to not drive, many of them not work either, so I had to take care of them financially. Many of them took advantage of me being a 'nice guy', and all of them eventually cheated on me.

It took me years to realize that 'nice' was a bad habit. But anyhoo, I naturally had to be aggressive at workplaces, being ultra responsible, and prove myself reliable in leadership and management roles. I eventually worked my way up to the executive level. All the while, my wife didn't drive, didn't work (she did work when I met her), but something about me made women think they could just sit back and be taken care of, so after many years, I demanded she get her license, and more or less strong-armed her into it. She now works full time, and has for years.

So.. sorry this got long. I realized that I as always a beta-type male, and my first submissive play was simply bliss. No decision making, no responsibility for anyone's pleasure, even my own. I get butterflies when commanded to perform acts, and do so willingly, and feel so perfectly natural being submissive in the bedroom.

In my vanilla life, I am more of a control freak, I know how the world works, and how to get things done, so I am I guess an A-type executive in that world, and fully accept it, but in a different world, where the wife was the high paid executive? Oh yes, I could live in that world, and be her bitch, oh yes.
Click to expand...

Barring the length of time, and paygrade I could have written this.

My wife has always been in and out of work, financially and mentally unreliable due to her own issues. As such I've been the provider for a decade. Work is manic, the job high pressure but I have to perform.

Submissive, to me is pure escapism. Nothing to decide. Think about..or argue.

Just comply.
 
dashd said:
I like to ge submissive in the bedroom because in every other aspect of my life I am the leader. This is true in my occupations (yes pleural) as well as my hobbies. In both my occupations and hobbies I sometimes am called upon to make quick decisions which could be life or death decisions, for me and/or others. It's nice to hang up responsibilities at the door and let someone else take charge.
Click to expand...

Once again, something I could have written.. it's escapism
 
My first shallow response is because I can’t orgasm any other way. 😅
I like the feeling of protection and love. It’s like it creates boundaries that don’t exist in normal interactions. Forgive the phrasing.. I get told off when I’m being naughty and loved on all the time. But mostly, I don’t have to think of myself. (Of not for) the paradox of it is that because I’m allowed to just focus on pleasing Dom with my enjoyment or my act, because they will be focussed on whether I am ready and should be allowed to orgasm...I’m much more likely to do so. Plus, it’s a much more vocal process. I can trust that he definitely wants it because he’s telling me what he wants what he likes, he’s telling me how good I sound, feel.

I don’t know how to relax without all that. I get scared of sex, but not in this situation with a Dom I trust
 
I have always liked being the sub when it comes to sex. I like the idea of being used, being vacuous, and being a doll. So I like having no real will or desires other than to complete sate my partners every whim. Basically, I’m a blonde girl, with big fake boobs, I like t I wear clothes that accentuate my boobs and make me look like a blow up doll and then I like to be ducked like one. Phew... I haven’t ever admitted it to myself like that before but that is kinda it. Don’t judge me, I can’t explain it!!!
 
Not having a dominant partner is like all the radio channels being tuned in at once.

Being submissive is like having Alan Rickman on my com device.
 
Similar to what Wild Honey was saying... My attention is everywhere all the time, thoughts are racing millions of miles per hour. Nothing helps me focus more than a Dominant just telling me to breathe. Everything becomes still and quiet in that moment. It's like having my very own mental / sexual personal trainer.

Figuring out what to do with myself makes me feel scattered, like I take two steps in every direction and eventually go nowhere. Give me orders, and push me to my limits and beyond, because that is where I make the biggest strides and where I am free to be my best self.
 
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