Sadists

cherries_on_snow

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Are sadists born sadistic or made sadistic? Also is it a chosen kink or constant personality trait?
 
Are you being born you?

I say no. I say that everything we are is essentially made of two components:
1) Our body chemistry, which is genetic and built-in
2) Our memories and experiences that determine our reactions to any event we encounter in our lives.

Now, there is no hormone that makes you enjoy causing pain to another person. There's simply no such thing. That said, there may be purely physiological reasons to liking receiving pain, but definitely none for causing it.
You could be born with more active adrenal glands, and thus end up with a more explosive temper, but it has nothing to do with being sadistic or not.

So we look onto the second part - our memories and experiences. In effect, being sadistic is a purely mental thing. You enjoy certain situations because how they play out inside of your head, not because how they make your body feel. For example myself - I enjoy the feelings of helplessness and lack of control in both myself and my partner. So when I'm turned on by causing pain - it's because this only shows how helpless my partner is. Normally she would get away, but she can not and has to endure helplessly.
I'm sure there are many other types of thoughts that make sadists feel aroused.

So you could say that sadists are "made", but in a broad sense. Our mind is complex, and our association patterns are really strange and weird, and they are not always logical too. You could meet a person with a mustache when you are five who intimidated you. Then years later when you don't even remember it - you watch a movie where main character has the same mustache but he's like a man of your dreams. And your mind, without you knowing, makes a connection that a perfect man is an intimidating one. You will never even know that this association happened, and it will not be connected to mustaches, but you will forever be attracted by men who intimidate you.

It's just a simple example. In reality, hundreds, thousands of information nodes are linked together to form your attractions and fears, things you laugh at and those that make you cringe. Your fetishes, as well as sadistic and masochistic tendencies included. Every smallest petal of every flower you ever saw makes an impression and adds to a million of associative patterns in your brain that form who you are and what you like.
And this is you.
You could say you are made by everything you've experienced ever since you was safely in your mother's womb.:cattail:

Also is it a chosen kink or constant personality trait?
I think it depends on a person.
There are real sadists out there who NEED that stimulation to get excited. Some are sociopaths, while others are responsible but just too deeply into their kink so it becomes part of who they are.

For myself, I would call myself a sadist sometimes. I can enjoy causing pain, and even bringing a girl to tears may be super hot under right circumstances.
But for me, it's circumstantial. I need to be absolutely sure that in the end of the day she's absolutely happy with her experiences. I can be sadistic only with a masochist, who may hate the pain, but who likes something that comes with it. Who swallows the bitter pill to but gets a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from it.
My partner's pleasure and satisfaction is what I'm always after.
I'm still calling myself a sadist because I enjoy hurting them and making them helpless. But for me it's definitely a chosen kink that I can happily live without.:cattail:
 
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As the poet Billy Spearshaker once said, “Some are born sadistic, some achieve sadism, and some have sadism thrust upon ‘em.” That’s from Twelfth Night, or at least the BDSM version of it.

I believe the answer to both of your questions is yes, depending on the sadist.
 
As the poet Billy Spearshaker once said, “Some are born sadistic, some achieve sadism, and some have sadism thrust upon ‘em.” That’s from Twelfth Night, or at least the BDSM version of it.

I believe the answer to both of your questions is yes, depending on the sadist.

This was to the point, and painless.

(See what I did there?)
*runs*
 
Nezhul you make a common mistake in your analysis. There are three things that mould us, two you identify, our genes and our post natal environment but the third is the way we form in the womb. Many of our details are decided as we develop in the womb, the two obvious examples are fingerprints and iris patterns which are different even in identical twins with their identical genes. A third such network is the patterns of blood capillaries that form and local oxygenation will influence all other aspects of development, including the local architecture of the connections that form within the developing brain. Moreover this may not be simply another example of environment alone, these differences also reflect blind chance, as a simple example does the egg implant here or does it pass on a little and implant there? In the development of an embryo there are certainly billions, if not trillions of such alternatives giving rise to effectively endless possible combinations and permutations. Consequently a proclivity towards sadism could indeed already be present at birth without their being any overt evidence of a cause, even in a pair of genetically identical twins.
 
fingerprints and iris patterns which are different even in identical twins with their identical genes.
Erm, that's a common mistake. They don't have identical genes - just a set of very similar ones. They are still divided slightly unevenly.

On the rest of your point - the things that you describe can actually grouped up with your genetic layout. it's how you grew, you can't really affect it.

But the thing is that sadism - is a purely psychological phenomenon. There is no physiological stimuli that you receive when you are being sadistic. There are no nerve endings that are tickled by sadism. No matter how your body, your brain and your cells have developed, inside or outside the womb - you do not become a sadist.

It's all about how your mind reacts to certain imagery and associations that makes you a sadist or not. It's a behavioristic thing, not physiological one. That's why I compare it to masochism, because the latter actually involves physical stimulation of your body, and pleasure derived from that in some cases could be explained by peculiar body chemistry or nervous system.

With sadism - your enjoyment is purely psychological. You can sit completely unmoving and still enjoy viewing someone spanked in front of you. You can consume that content in text form, with no visual or audible stimulation - and STILL derive sadistic pleasure.

And that tells me that it has nothing to do with your body. Nothing to do with your genetics or how you developed in a womb. Nothing to do with how your life went on, if you are healthy or not.
But it has everything to do with thoughts and associations that sparkle in your brain.

______________________________
Of course you can always go deeper with it. You could argue that we are nothing more than a complex arrangement of cells, which in turn are just chemical elements mashed together. You could argue that the way our brains react to stimuli is decided by the way neurons are arranged in our brain.
You could argue that because of that completely identical clones will react differently and form different associations to the same happenstance as long as they have at least one neuron connected differently in their brains.

If you go that deep, then I would agree to you that the way we form in our mother's womb would later decide how certain life experiences will affect the formation of our habits. It's true, and I firmly believe that.

But I don't think you should go that deep.
In effect, there is still a certain emotional experience that needs to happen in order for us to form sadistic tendencies. And there needs to be a hundred of other factors that all come together in order for us to actually realize it and start working on indulging it.

Our genetics and our mother's womb is what molds us initially. But it's everything that happens around us that colors that initial figurine into who we are - one stroke of paint at a time.
 
Are sadists born sadistic or made sadistic? Also is it a chosen kink or constant personality trait?

My instinct tells me sadists are born this way. Speaking for myself.
 

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As the poet Billy Spearshaker once said, “Some are born sadistic, some achieve sadism, and some have sadism thrust upon ‘em.” That’s from Twelfth Night, or at least the BDSM version of it.

I believe the answer to both of your questions is yes, depending on the sadist.

I love your Shakespeare inclusion in this :p
 
What an interesting discussion.

Born or made? Chosen kink or constant?

I have no idea.

I don’t particularly love causing physical pain, but I have always loved tormenting and teasing, like a cat just looooves playing with small animals. And I’m assuming cats don’t get this trait from weird third-grade run-ins with mice, right? It comes with the feline package.

So this at least holds open the possibility that a. Sadism is there when humans pop out, b. Some humans are cats, and c. Masochists should wear moleskin lingerie if they want to get more action.
 
I love your Shakespeare inclusion in this :p

Who? ;)

What an interesting discussion.

Born or made? Chosen kink or constant?

I have no idea.

I don’t particularly love causing physical pain, but I have always loved tormenting and teasing, like a cat just looooves playing with small animals. And I’m assuming cats don’t get this trait from weird third-grade run-ins with mice, right? It comes with the feline package.

So this at least holds open the possibility that a. Sadism is there when humans pop out, b. Some humans are cats, and c. Masochists should wear moleskin lingerie if they want to get more action.

DGE! Good to see you around these here parts. Long time no post!
 
I'm a sexual sadist. That means I only like inflicting pain in a sexual situation. And I'm not a sadist at heart. Also, I've never played with an actual masochist, but I'd like to.

I think there is a misunderstanding about sadists and masochists. True sadists enjoy inflicting pain. It doesn't have to be in a sexual situation, but it can be.
Masochists enjoy receiving pain. It doesn't have to be in a sexual situation, but it can be.

Yes, sadists enjoy it and masochists enjoy it. It's the way they are. I don't think they are born that way, but it's a combination of their upbringing, their environment and their interpretation of both.

What I mean by that is, parents can be strict and some can be lenient. That has a lot to do with it. Strict parents might not be overly so, but if the child feels that they are, they are. And they might not be overly lenient, but if a child feels that they are, then they are.

It's perception of the situation. That's what I mean by their upbringing, their environment and their interpretation of it. So, a child can actually be molded into someone who enjoys inflicting pain or receiving pain, just by how they view their childhood events.

I really don't think there is anything in the genes that decides anything, except if something is inherited from a father or mother who also had sadistic or masochistic traits. There are a lot of "normal" people who never act on their sexual fantasies. Many just consider them fantasies and nothing more. But, in their masturbatory minds, they could still act out a fantasy.

I know my father had urges to spank women. He would playfully swat young ladies asses and get away with it. But that was way back in the 50s and 60s, when it was OK and even a way of flirting. LOL, today, you could find yourself in a jail, for a few simple swats, like that.

So, maybe I got some of his genes in that area, because I really enjoy spanking ladies. But other than that, to say there is a gene that means you will be a sadist or masochist...I say no.

And once we find out about our sexual urges, if we're in tune with our bodies and our minds, we tend to cultivate our urges. A lot of that depends on when you become aware of your kinky urges.

I became aware of my desires to dominant the female sex very early in my life. I spanked my first naked female behind at the age of 12. She was 10. We were both very willing.

Her father had died when she was very young and her mother was very strict. She was forced to go outside and cut a switch and you could hear her howling from inside, when her mother was using it on her.

I think she may have imprinted strict punishment with being loved. Her mother punished her even for minor things and without a father figure, she came to live her sexual desires with what she missed as a young girl, using a male friend in his place.

Because I've been able to live out my sexual fantasies, I've cultivated my sexual sadism until I know exactly what I like and I've become very good at it. I'm sure others on this board have done the same thing.

It's over time that we find out about ourselves and we learn more as time goes on. And by the time you get as old as me, you can call yourself pretty damn good at what you do.

Oh, my young spanking childhood friend? She turned out just fine. She's now a mayor in a California city. That's something else that sometimes happens. Women who are in high stress jobs, where they hire and fire and make decisions all day tend to be submissive in their sexual lives. My guess is she's living the good life and probably standing up a lot, when she makes speeches.
 
Are you being born you?


For myself, I would call myself a sadist sometimes. I can enjoy causing pain, and even bringing a girl to tears may be super hot under right circumstances.
But for me, it's circumstantial. I need to be absolutely sure that in the end of the day she's absolutely happy with her experiences. I can be sadistic only with a masochist, who may hate the pain, but who likes something that comes with it. Who swallows the bitter pill to but gets a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from it.
My partner's pleasure and satisfaction is what I'm always after.
I'm still calling myself a sadist because I enjoy hurting them and making them helpless. But for me it's definitely a chosen kink that I can happily live without.:cattail:

THIS pretty well describes me to a T... ESPECIALLY the part about my partners pleasure and satisfaction...
 
As the poet Billy Spearshaker once said, “Some are born sadistic, some achieve sadism, and some have sadism thrust upon ‘em.” That’s from Twelfth Night, or at least the BDSM version of it.

I believe the answer to both of your questions is yes, depending on the sadist.

I like this answer.

Myself I have never thought of myself as a sadist.

I am now totally sure many would disagree with me.
 
Both and both. Everyone is different. Everyone arrives at who they are in a radically different way. I'm inclined to think that it doesn't matter that much, but it certainly is interesting to think about.
 
Definitely made. It’s the whole nature / nurture concept. For me I was made as an adolescent - at that critical age I read the wrong books. Irving Wallace The Fan Club and Herbert Kastle’s Dirty Movies. The whole sadistic Dom thing about having a girl cuffed, ball-gagged (although hearing her scream is a turn on but ball-gagged it can be more intense). A nice red raw whipped ass, and then anal sex. Of course increasing her pain with the thrusting against the bruised and tender flesh. But afterwards - holding her and comforting her and making sweet sweet love.

Brutal One
 
It varies, I'd imagine, from person to person. Certainly a question I hear being asked a lot... but never one I've really been concerned with. I'm very utilitarian, and I can't see that it would make a difference to me now that I was born a sadist or became one through my lived experiences. It would be interesting to know, I suppose, but I don't think I ever truly will.
 
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