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Old 04-20-2017, 12:45 PM   #4026
LizVegas79
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I just juiced my pants imagining the menu: French Specialties; Hot Italians; Spicy Creoles...
South of the Border specialties and Far East specialties are twenty dollars extra.
 

Old 04-20-2017, 09:48 PM   #4027
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It says here South of the Border specialties and Back Side specialties are extra.
I'm sorry, I have never paid for sex and I don't intend to start now. Well, except for my vibrators . . . and the pay-per-view that one time.
 

Old 04-21-2017, 02:33 AM   #4028
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- I'm sorry, I have never been paid for sex and I don't expect a flawless start now.
- …
- Well, sex chat, my vibrators, pay-per-view . . . I’ll give it a try.
I heard that. Mama warned me about you.
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Old 04-21-2017, 10:56 AM   #4029
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"If you can't keep it in your pants; keep it in the family." That's what Mama always said, anyways!
That's kind of messed up, man.
 

Old 04-21-2017, 01:09 PM   #4030
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That's way messed up, man.
This is suppose to be a family place - but not that kind of family place! lol
 

Old 04-21-2017, 09:52 PM   #4031
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This is supposed to be a friendly place - not the kind where you start a family!
You heard her - no bareback, make sure you got a life jacket!
 

Old 04-21-2017, 10:14 PM   #4032
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You heard her - I'm all about barebacking -- no wrapping that dick for me!
Safe sex is always the way to go.
 

Old 04-21-2017, 10:19 PM   #4033
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Surf sex is always the way to go.
But aren't you worried about sharks?
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Old 04-21-2017, 10:21 PM   #4034
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Safe sex on the go - now in forty-one flavors!
Um, are you confusing sex and ice cream again? It's okay, I do it all the time.
 

Old 04-21-2017, 10:28 PM   #4035
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Um, are you mixing sex and ice cream again? It's okay, I do it all the time.
Isn't that really cold on the naughty bits?
 

Old 04-21-2017, 10:33 PM   #4036
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Isn't it too cold on the naughty bits?
Not if you balance it out with hot fudge sauce.
 

Old 04-21-2017, 10:50 PM   #4037
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You have to balance it out by hitting the hershey highway.
Thanks for the pro-tip!
 

Old 04-21-2017, 11:57 PM   #4038
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T. Hanks for pro-consul!
I think you're being a tad anachronistic here.
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Old 04-22-2017, 12:02 AM   #4039
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I think I'm a tad skeletal here.
He's a scary monster!
 

Old 04-22-2017, 12:09 AM   #4040
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She's a hairy monster!
Relax! The Vagina Dentata is just a myth.
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Old 04-22-2017, 02:02 AM   #4041
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Relax! The Vagina Dentata is after me!
Bad acid trip?
 

Old 04-22-2017, 02:04 AM   #4042
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Bad trip to Wal-Mart?
*shrugs*
Mushrooms are much better.
 

Old 04-22-2017, 02:17 AM   #4043
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Mushrooms are much cheaper there.
Yeah, but everything goes bad faster and some of the people are scary.
 

Old 04-22-2017, 04:49 AM   #4044
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Yeah. But when everything goes tad faster, more of the people get scared.

It’s ‘merry-go-round’, Max, not ‘scary-and-loud’!
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Old 04-22-2017, 10:25 PM   #4045
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It’s ‘merry-go-round’, Mags, not ‘scary-go-round.'
Sorry, but mascara and rain don't mix. I may have been a bit drunk too. #hiccup
 

Old 04-23-2017, 12:20 AM   #4046
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Sorry, but mascarpone and grains don't mix. I may have been a bit drunk too. #hiccup
Misplaced the Italian cheesecake recipe again?
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Old 04-23-2017, 05:15 AM   #4047
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Embraced the Italian cheesecake recipe again?
If heaven exists, then this is what it's made of.
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Old 04-23-2017, 08:17 AM   #4048
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If heaven exists, then this is what it's made of - gellato.
I suppose it depends on the flavor, I couldn't stomach the cinnamon roll one but the pistachio was pretty good - kind of an amaretto flavor.
 

Old 04-23-2017, 09:38 AM   #4049
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If I were a pole dancer my name would be cinnamon.
If I were an assassin my name would be Mr. Midnight.
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Old 04-23-2017, 10:28 AM   #4050
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What a glorious morning! I expected to be assassinated by midnight.
Well, I see they failed again. Even assassins aren't what they used to be.
 
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