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Old 03-07-2017, 10:14 AM   #1
glBock
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sexuality when one's age advances

There's no denying, when one ages, one's sexuality is bound to suffer. Unless one is blessed with an overly optimistic nature, which is the way I feel right now. So I better get these self-reflecting thoughts down "on paper", before I change my mind again.

For one thing, I see the current phase of my sexuality revert back to what it was when I was very young, i.e. when I could only dream and fantasize, and had no way to experience what was developing within myself. Actually I am in better shape now, because every now and then my wife remembers that she is a woman.

But most of the time I do nothing but dream, and fantasize, and masturbate occasionally. Compared to my younger days, I have another advantage: my memory. I can re-live countless experiences now, which had not occurred yet when I began masturbating. My imagination in those days was really limited. And that had nothing to with the fact that I lived behind the so-called "Iron Curtain" then.

When I look optimistically at my present situation, I see that sex has moved largely from my genitals to my brain. This was not as much of a change as you may think, since even much earlier, much of my sex took place in my brain already. Even if not so close to 100% as that's the case now. If I look at the joy I had felt, when a whore in Berlin gave me a parting kiss, after a night of hard work on my part, (I had mentioned that experience in one of my earlier posts), I realize that joys like that could only have come out of my brain, not my (overworked) genitals.

So now my brain gets the bulk of what I feel, WHEN I feel something. An optimist might say: good for him, unless he gets Alzheimer's. But even Alzheimer's may not be so bad, where it to hit me. You heard about all the new friends, I am sure, that a person with that deficiency makes every day.

There's really only one hardship I suffer as I get older: fewer and fewer female takers show up with time, to collect from my brain what I am still able to give. Because fantasy, when one can share it with another human being, is one of the best things ever. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and even that may change for the better with time; now that I discovered Literotica.
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Old 03-07-2017, 11:17 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glBock View Post
There's no denying, when one ages, one's sexuality is bound to suffer. Unless one is blessed with an overly optimistic nature, which is the way I feel right now. So I better get these self-reflecting thoughts down "on paper", before I change my mind again.

For one thing, I see the current phase of my sexuality revert back to what it was when I was very young, i.e. when I could only dream and fantasize, and had no way to experience what was developing within myself. Actually I am in better shape now, because every now and then my wife remembers that she is a woman.

But most of the time I do nothing but dream, and fantasize, and masturbate occasionally. Compared to my younger days, I have another advantage: my memory. I can re-live countless experiences now, which had not occurred yet when I began masturbating. My imagination in those days was really limited. And that had nothing to with the fact that I lived behind the so-called "Iron Curtain" then.

When I look optimistically at my present situation, I see that sex has moved largely from my genitals to my brain. This was not as much of a change as you may think, since even much earlier, much of my sex took place in my brain already. Even if not so close to 100% as that's the case now. If I look at the joy I had felt, when a whore in Berlin gave me a parting kiss, after a night of hard work on my part, (I had mentioned that experience in one of my earlier posts), I realize that joys like that could only have come out of my brain, not my (overworked) genitals.

So now my brain gets the bulk of what I feel, WHEN I feel something. An optimist might say: good for him, unless he gets Alzheimer's. But even Alzheimer's may not be so bad, where it to hit me. You heard about all the new friends, I am sure, that a person with that deficiency makes every day.

There's really only one hardship I suffer as I get older: fewer and fewer female takers show up with time, to collect from my brain what I am still able to give. Because fantasy, when one can share it with another human being, is one of the best things ever. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and even that may change for the better with time; now that I discovered Literotica.
For heaven's sake, don't sit there and talk yourself out of feelings you should have up until the day you die. Feeling sorry in a black funk will get you absolutely nowhere.

A man or woman, at any age is supremely sexy with an aura of confidence. That confidence is the best natural pheromone a human can wear. If you feel you have done all you can do for yourself on a daily basis, be proud. Look people in the eye, then smile. That's the second best attractant, it makes you approachable.

Isn't that what we want? To be approachable and bring humans that we desire into our sphere; to check out their interest, and us in them. Be congenial.

And while we're on the subject; (and I'm on a roll) how many people have you given a compliment to, today. A smile, a wink, a lift of your chin, a hello, an appreciation for something they are doing, wearing, singing. The more you give, the more will come back to you. Make someone's eyes light up, it will make you feel terrific.
Those of you with partners, no matter how distant and cold, have forgotten how wealthy and rich in the heart that person can make you. A challenge for you to restore that trembling feeling of that first meeting. Remember how exciting it was?

All the testosterone in this place is leaking out through the cracks in the floor. If you're going to sit on your backside and tell people how bad it is for you, that's exactly the way it will be.
If you can't motivate the other person in your life, motivate yourself. Make yourself a person, other people want to be with.

To the OP. I am not singling you out. I was just seizing an opportunity!
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Old 03-07-2017, 11:46 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by TheOldWidow View Post
For heaven's sake, don't sit there and talk yourself out of feelings you should have up until the day you die. Feeling sorry in a black funk will get you absolutely nowhere.

A man or woman, at any age is supremely sexy with an aura of confidence. That confidence is the best natural pheromone a human can wear. If you feel you have done all you can do for yourself on a daily basis, be proud. Look people in the eye, then smile. That's the second best attractant, it makes you approachable.

Isn't that what we want? To be approachable and bring humans that we desire into our sphere; to check out their interest, and us in them. Be congenial.

And while we're on the subject; (and I'm on a roll) how many people have you given a compliment to, today. A smile, a wink, a lift of your chin, a hello, an appreciation for something they are doing, wearing, singing. The more you give, the more will come back to you. Make someone's eyes light up, it will make you feel terrific.
Those of you with partners, no matter how distant and cold, have forgotten how wealthy and rich in the heart that person can make you. A challenge for you to restore that trembling feeling of that first meeting. Remember how exciting it was?

All the testosterone in this place is leaking out through the cracks in the floor. If you're going to sit on your backside and tell people how bad it is for you, that's exactly the way it will be.
If you can't motivate the other person in your life, motivate yourself. Make yourself a person, other people want to be with.

To the OP. I am not singling you out. I was just seizing an opportunity!
Hi Old Widow, first many thanks for your reply! I apreciate it wholeheartedly.

I had already taken your advice earlier today, before you gave it to me. A saleslady told me that she enjoyed my remark to her about her friendly smile.

I do not really feel bad; on the contrary, I wrote my note when I was in a good mood. If you have the time, tell me pls, why it came across to you as pessimistic. Here in public or in a PM, whichever you prefer.
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Old 03-07-2017, 11:59 AM   #4
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I feel (my own personal opinion) that as a whole, this site is depressing. Most everyone wants to feel like they are attractive enough to pique the interest of those they desire.

The line where you said maybe you would get lucky and find someone to share a fantasy with. Don't hope, make it happen proactively. Wistful, perhaps bordering on depressing? Join in. Put yourself out there. Just pull the barbed arrows out and throw them over your shoulder. You'll get a few. We all do. Just zig zag when you run the gauntlet.
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Old 03-08-2017, 12:14 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by TheOldWidow View Post
I feel (my own personal opinion) that as a whole, this site is depressing. Most everyone wants to feel like they are attractive enough to pique the interest of those they desire.

The line where you said maybe you would get lucky and find someone to share a fantasy with. Don't hope, make it happen proactively. Wistful, perhaps bordering on depressing? Join in. Put yourself out there. Just pull the barbed arrows out and throw them over your shoulder. You'll get a few. We all do. Just zig zag when you run the gauntlet.
Great attitude...agreed go out and be positive, live. My problem and am not that old but feel as we get older we appreciate passion and open mindedness more. I think the thing is finding balance in life not hurting anyone and having fun.
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Old 03-08-2017, 02:30 PM   #6
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This thread now wider than sexual desire

As we get older we find that we become less interesting.
We get to a point where old people become invisible.
You have to really fight that.
I am a flirt, always was always will be.
I talk to any woman I meet who is over the age of 25.
I got lots of response, even if it is to make them laugh.
We all need to make the efforto be in contact with other people.

And from making women laugh, well who knows where that might lead.
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Old 03-08-2017, 05:41 PM   #7
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Thank you James, and thank you Stormy! I appreciated your comments also.

I try living according to your suggestions already. And fortunately it does bring some enjoyment and fun and satisfaction. But what I am looking for is something else. Were you able to understand that also?
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Old 03-08-2017, 05:50 PM   #8
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I believe we understand what you were alluding to. I have no solution, other than trial and error.
LOL, it's a well known saying that a princess has to kiss a pond full of frogs to find a prince.
Perhaps a prince has to kiss a herd of cats to find a princess.
How about it, mature people, any suggestions?
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Old 03-08-2017, 08:20 PM   #9
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I didn't find the original post depressing at all. I just noted that he was musing and reflecting and maybe a teeny bit wistful. But good comments and advice all around. I have always particularly enjoyed the company of older people since I was a young child. I have had rollicking good times with octogenarian women (just good clean fun, I mean) and been sexually attracted to "men of a certain age" -- actually no age limits.

Don't necessarily assume that your age is a limiting factor to anyone else.
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Old 03-08-2017, 09:59 PM   #10
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I don't know how old you are, I am about to turn 54.

I have been married for nearly 31 years and enjoy my life. I encounter younger women whom I now chat with very confidently which certainly wasn't the case when I was young.

There are lots of people in the world, go look for them and you may be surprised.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:46 AM   #11
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thanks for all the encouraging comments.

I just don't understand why many of you believe I need help. As I said at the beginning of my post: I feel optimistic.
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Old 04-01-2017, 04:59 PM   #12
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I'm more interesting and interested than ever, sexually. Aging doesn't necessarily bring a dull sex life with it.

No. I'm still not interested in young people.
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Old 04-02-2017, 07:45 AM   #13
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Go with the flow

There is no way to stop ageing . But you do not have to get old. Enjoy every day as if it was your last. It might be. I am in my mid 70s and have had some major health problems. But I am still moving forward. So look for happiness. And give a cheerful comment to those you meet. I do and it helps. But what ever you do enjoy it.
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Old 04-04-2017, 06:16 AM   #14
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Age is just a number

Age is just a number. You can’t stop ageing but getting older doesn’t have to result in a duller sex life. Far from it, I’m in my sixties and despite taking longer to ejaculate and my penis not as firm as it once was I can still please a woman. My wife and I like to swing occasionally and seeing my wife with a younger guy spurs me on and I continue to be surprised how many younger women enjoy having sex with me. Though ageing may bring about some changes, you never lose the capacity for giving and receiving pleasure!
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Old 04-05-2017, 12:01 PM   #15
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Testosterone injections every 2 months and 100mg of Sildenafil daily will sort you out, well if you're male anyway.
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Old 04-05-2017, 01:27 PM   #16
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It is true, age is just a number. My lover is quite a bit older than I am, in fact 70 is only a couple of years away. He has taught me more about sex, sensuality, caring and loving than any of the younger men I had been with before him.

With his age and experience, he took a young girl and showed/taught me how to please him and in return he sexually and emotionally pleases me, and as he grows older, I know he will change but I can't imagine his sexual aggressiveness, needs and demands ceasing.

This "old" man gave me a beautiful baby recently and I've made it clear to him that I want another . . . soon
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Old 04-10-2017, 06:13 PM   #17
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Dollie

Thanks everyone who has commented on this thread. It's amazing how you all got it right. At our ages we are not supposed to be interested in sex and not supposed to be able to do it. At least the books and smart people tell us that.
Well sadly my hubby can't for now but treatments hopefully will have him erect again. Until that time I have his permission to have lovers and most days I have at least one or more.
Making it scary, I have short term dementia and need my husband to help me with my medication and fixing meals. Yet I remember people and sure remember how to enjoy sex. Next month I may not remember how to type.
There were always fantasies in my husband's head. I've been blessed that together we've made many of his silly fantasies come true. Sitting alone feeling sorry for yourself will not bring romance or love. And love is not needed to enjoy good sex. Get out and meet people. Tell them they look nice and be friendly.
It's not all about intercourse but nothing will happen without having a smile and a good attitude.
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Old 04-21-2017, 06:44 AM   #18
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Thanks everyone who has commented on this thread. It's amazing how you all got it right. At our ages we are not supposed to be interested in sex and not supposed to be able to do it. At least the books and smart people tell us that.
Well sadly my hubby can't for now but treatments hopefully will have him erect again. Until that time I have his permission to have lovers and most days I have at least one or more.
Making it scary, I have short term dementia and need my husband to help me with my medication and fixing meals. Yet I remember people and sure remember how to enjoy sex. Next month I may not remember how to type.
There were always fantasies in my husband's head. I've been blessed that together we've made many of his silly fantasies come true. Sitting alone feeling sorry for yourself will not bring romance or love. And love is not needed to enjoy good sex. Get out and meet people. Tell them they look nice and be friendly.
It's not all about intercourse but nothing will happen without having a smile and a good attitude.
Dolly, I see that I never thanked you for your post. And I like to do that now. You and your husband take a wonderful posiion towards sex and also towards aging. I wish both of you the very best

Can you let me know, how therapy is going for him?
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Old 05-02-2017, 12:46 AM   #19
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Dolly, I see that I never thanked you for your post. And I like to do that now. You and your husband take a wonderful posiion towards sex and also towards aging. I wish both of you the very best

Can you let me know, how therapy is going for him?
Agreed with glBock!!! Thank you!
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Old 05-02-2017, 04:22 AM   #20
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Aged 63, I have a deep and mellow pleasure in my own masculinity and sexual energy and appeal, with pretty well none of the complexes which for decades past skewed that pleasure and calm confidence. So it's good! Very good!

Supporting factors in my case:
A decision on my part ten years ago to take action about the beginnings of erectile dysfunction. It's been an interesting adventure through the maze of various supposed herbal 'enhancers', many of them as useful as sawdust, to find what actually does it for me.
Having work which involves physical activity, and being a keen cyclist and lover of healthy food, I delight in being in good shape with high energy levels.

The primary factor in my case:
I married a wonderful woman when we were 23. Sex appeal both ways figured enormously in our attraction to each other and has remained so, though differently as we both have seen aspects of 'the body beautiful' fade as it does while other kinds of beauty and attraction mature and flower. But here's the thing: my woman adores sex as I do. She has spectacular orgasms which in her own heart and mind she sees as a gift from me and the way I make love to her. Her freedom to let this bliss overwhelm her took a whole new turn of crazy joyfulness when we turned 40, and we are still in that orbit often.

So, my sense of my sexuality is inseparable from my story as a husband who pleasures his wife of forty years into high bliss often. It's there in my head and heart when I am present to anybody and everybody, I enjoy that very much indeed, and I dare to believe that it is a gift of joy to others too.

OP, thanks for prompting such deep thoughts! Where else can a guy say this stuff!
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Old 05-03-2017, 09:45 AM   #21
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I am older and nowhere near the studmuffin I was when in my 20's. I've gained a few pounds and lost a little bit of hair. As Old Widow suggested, I still find myself attractive by my smile, confidence and willingness to engage with anyone.

My idea of what a "hot" woman is has evolved with my age. I've always had a thing for curvy women, but the nicest ass in the world does not trump a woman who is comfortable to be with in both sexual and non-sexual ways. YMMV.

Just a comment to boost the aging thing - STD's are a major problem in the Florida retirement communities.
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:43 AM   #22
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Aged 63, I have a deep and mellow pleasure in my own masculinity and sexual energy and appeal, with pretty well none of the complexes which for decades past skewed that pleasure and calm confidence. So it's good! Very good!

Supporting factors in my case:
A decision on my part ten years ago to take action about the beginnings of erectile dysfunction. It's been an interesting adventure through the maze of various supposed herbal 'enhancers', many of them as useful as sawdust, to find what actually does it for me.
Having work which involves physical activity, and being a keen cyclist and lover of healthy food, I delight in being in good shape with high energy levels.

The primary factor in my case:
I married a wonderful woman when we were 23. Sex appeal both ways figured enormously in our attraction to each other and has remained so, though differently as we both have seen aspects of 'the body beautiful' fade as it does while other kinds of beauty and attraction mature and flower. But here's the thing: my woman adores sex as I do. She has spectacular orgasms which in her own heart and mind she sees as a gift from me and the way I make love to her. Her freedom to let this bliss overwhelm her took a whole new turn of crazy joyfulness when we turned 40, and we are still in that orbit often.

So, my sense of my sexuality is inseparable from my story as a husband who pleasures his wife of forty years into high bliss often. It's there in my head and heart when I am present to anybody and everybody, I enjoy that very much indeed, and I dare to believe that it is a gift of joy to others too.

OP, thanks for prompting such deep thoughts! Where else can a guy say this stuff!
Hello Simon, it took me as long as this to reply to your post, because I have not come here often lately. Been busy following up on my search; a happy way to be busy indeed.

It's nice to hear from a couple at your age, who are doing well with each other. Congrats to you and your wife. I wish you many happy returns and continued happiness doing what both of you enjoy. Most specifically I wish you continued functioning of your wife's hormones; this is where the core of MY own problems lie.

I hope + wish for both of you that – 13 years from now – you will still feel the way you do now! That's how much older than you I am. My outlook right now has improved considerably, however, since I have been able to generate what seems to be a genuine interest.


Thanks for your thanks, BTW. I feel happy to hear also that some people here enjoy thinking deeper than many.
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Old 05-12-2017, 06:51 AM   #23
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Joan has written extensively on the subject:

http://betterthanieverexpected.********.com
https://www.amazon.com/Naked-Our-Age...dp/1580053386/

She doesn't say much about hormones, which Dr. Vliet covers well:

https://www.amazon.com/Savvy-Womans-...dp/1933213000/

betterthanieverexpected on blog spot, which is inexplicably censored above
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Last edited by alcwkat : 05-12-2017 at 06:56 AM.
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Old 05-13-2017, 05:19 PM   #24
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Joan has written extensively on the subject:

http://betterthanieverexpected.********.com
https://www.amazon.com/Naked-Our-Age...dp/1580053386/

She doesn't say much about hormones, which Dr. Vliet covers well:

https://www.amazon.com/Savvy-Womans-...dp/1933213000/

betterthanieverexpected on blog spot, which is inexplicably censored above
hello kat(?), thanks a lot for your links. They Sound interesting. Will look at the books more thoroughly when I have a bit more time.

thanks again.
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