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FloggingMolly said:
I really hope you're wrong :rose:
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Yeah, I don't think he's dead, but I don't know if someone would tell me if he did.:(

ownedsubgal said:
it's a good sign though that his phone is still on, and that no one has given you any bad news. i found out my friend (the only real life friend i've had since becoming a slave) had finally committed suicide when i called his cell and his sister answered and told me i was first on her list of people to notify. if you're in his phone, someone would call you i'm sure.
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Yikes. *hugs*

And, that's what I tell myself. I think he doesn't answer cause he thinks I'm just texting him cause I feel sorry for him, or something. I'm not sure. It could be nothing, it's not like we live in eachothers pockets. We've gone this long without talking before, but before he wasn't sick.

I can talk myself in loops over this one. Most likely everything is fine.
 
YourCaptor said:
Kisses and Hugs OSG. That's really unfortunate. You have someone to talk this through with because you need to. One brain brooding on something often ends in a bizarre result. Having another helps you keep things on path.
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aw thanks YC, and you too Grace. :rose:

it's okay though, it's actually been like two years now. it was tough because he did say he was going to do it, and was doing the typical pre-suicide stuff like spending crazy money and giving away all his belongings. we had a great time towards the end though. seeing all the great indie movies, out to fancy lunches, laughing a lot. i knew he was ready to go though, just didn't want to accept it. when i would talk about something we should do a couple of weeks down the road, he would say, "i'll be gone by then, kid." but i wasn't the only one he told, he didn't care anymore and told everyone in his life that he was ending it. when his family sent him away for 2 weeks he stopped talking about it so much (at least to other people) when he came back. but yeah, i definitely knew he was going to do it...he was down to one sweater and one pair of pants.

Daddy and i took a spring vacation, and when we got back i had one voicemail from him. didn't say much, just to call him back or something, which was really odd since he was a wordy type. i did call back, got his sister, and that's when i found out the day he called me was the day he did it.

it was beyond sad losing a friend, but i actually felt happy for him. he was really suffering emotionally beyond what most people could bear. hopefully there's peace after death.
 
ownedsubgal said:
aw thanks YC, and you too Grace. :rose:

it's okay though, it's actually been like two years now. it was tough because he did say he was going to do it, and was doing the typical pre-suicide stuff like spending crazy money and giving away all his belongings. we had a great time towards the end though. seeing all the great indie movies, out to fancy lunches, laughing a lot. i knew he was ready to go though, just didn't want to accept it. when i would talk about something we should do a couple of weeks down the road, he would say, "i'll be gone by then, kid." but i wasn't the only one he told, he didn't care anymore and told everyone in his life that he was ending it. when his family sent him away for 2 weeks he stopped talking about it so much (at least to other people) when he came back. but yeah, i definitely knew he was going to do it...he was down to one sweater and one pair of pants.

Daddy and i took a spring vacation, and when we got back i had one voicemail from him. didn't say much, just to call him back or something, which was really odd since he was a wordy type. i did call back, got his sister, and that's when i found out the day he called me was the day he did it.

it was beyond sad losing a friend, but i actually felt happy for him. he was really suffering emotionally beyond what most people could bear. hopefully there's peace after death.
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I just wish you could give people like that a blank slate.

Though it would be a noble cause to pursue research in chronic pain and depression, it’s just so painful and depressing. Maybe I’ll do it when I’m old and in chronic pain.

This is one of those things that schizophrenia patients could actually shed light on, because schizophrenia manages to warp reality, including pain and mood.

But then you have the ethics, is it right to create an alternate reality. Of course many give an enthusiastic yes, like those already attempting to burn out their brain with drugs, but is their decision compromised.

A really good movie on the topic is actually “eternal sunshine of a spotless mind”. It’s suppose to be Hollywoods best depiction of what schizophrenia is like, though only for the first virgin viewing, and I question how much sunshine there would actually be. Anyway, they dull down the topic by making it about love, but it’s still a really good film. Actually OSG I think you would love it, it’s got that dark dramatic turmoil vibe.
 
I miss.. his huggs and kisses, kneel at his feet, suck on his cock, have my hair pulled and my neck squeezed, have him around me every single day, wake up to see his smile as the first thing when I open my eyes, the soothing sound of his voice, his touch, his beautiful scent and so much more too.

Everything about him really. Thats what I miss.



As for Lit people, I miss Rebeca and closerIam around.
 
midwestyankee said:
A new friend pointed out that thread to me, and I read it from start to finish. Some very good stuff there. :rose:
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Agreed.:rose:

I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and got to be the one to facilitate getting the ball rolling. :eek:
 
Wild_Honey_66 said:
I miss the Gentleman Doms thread, and seeing you post there.:rose:
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Thank you, Honey. That was very kind of you to say.

I miss that thread of yours, too. :rose:

Dominant men have, and always will be, one of my favorite things to read about.
 
I miss knowing that I could trust him to be pro-active, and watch me, and know what I needed before I asked.

I miss knowing that I could ask him for anything, and that he would give it to me if he could.

I miss finding out that he'd been thinking about our future together.

I miss feeling as though I was all he needed, as though I was enough.

I miss being reminded in different ways that he trusted me.

I miss the way that even our filthy talk was a declaration of our affection for one another.



I sure do miss that man.:rose:
 
I miss the way he needed me.
I miss the way he stood strong for me.
I miss the way he adored me.

:heart:
 
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