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Advice for curious beginners

greengamegirl said:
Based on some of the responses, I'm going to further clarify. Before I created this post, I was interested in pregnancy, impregnation, and lactation. I don't want to restrict myself to current sexual interests because there may be other things that turn me on. I'm trying to discover what those other things are. I'm seeking advice on how to further explore. I'm seeking information about what a virgin without a partner can do. I'm currently exploring self-bondage but I'm open to other things.
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While there is an almost unlimited amount of sex aids out there that you could use, the mind is the biggest and most erotic sex organ. You might look into self-hypnosis to make what you read and imagine more real. While we experience life with our physical bodies, our emotional and sexual sensations are experienced entirely in the brain.
 
Harold_Hill said:
While there is an almost unlimited amount of sex aids out there that you could use, the mind is the biggest and most erotic sex organ. You might look into self-hypnosis to make what you read and imagine more real. While we experience life with our physical bodies, our emotional and sexual sensations are experienced entirely in the brain.
Click to expand...

I've tried self-hypnosis, it is effective. I've also fantasized on my own. I'm looking for ways to broaden my horizons.
 
closed

I'm not sure how to close a thread. I was trying to expand my horizons but I think I mainly liked what I originally liked. The only new thing is self-bondage. I will update my profile later. Thanks everyone for their advice.
 
Go to one of the free porn sites and see if you are interested in one of the topics.

Bewarned that you might find yourself attracted to something you never expected to be turned on to before.

You might want to consider being honest with whoever you want to do "it" with or at least be ready to do "it" whatever that is.

Have fun! Don't hurt animals or kids and I say have fun!
 
Sorry to be personal, but do you masturbate? If you do, what sort of images do you create to masturbate to? If you don't, start. Go through al the standard stuff. Get a mirror and sit with it between your legs. caress yourself slowly and softly and look at or read images as you do. you should be able to discern "inklings" Keep in mind you do not have to define anything. You do not have to limit anything as long as we are talking only fantasy.

Buy a sex toy and experiment with touching yourself softly in different places.

Ask otheres for help.


Go slumming incognito in a different town. (you don't have to go all the way)
 
Open again I suppose

I tried to close this thread but it seems some people are still interested in this topic so I'll provide another update.

I have tried masturbating the normal way most people do in the past. The methods that involve either: (1) rubbing or squeezing my clit; (2) attempting to put fingers in my pussy; (3) attempting to put fingers in my ass; (4) putting vibrating things on my clit; (5) creating friction using a pillow, wall or the floor.

I've also tried the method I believe I described in a post before. That method involved squeezing my thighs together, caressing my belly, breasts and thighs, and inflating and deflating my belly. It works for me but it doesn't sound sexy. Sometimes it does not work.

I've tried watching porn. I haven't come across anything that worked so far or maybe I'm watching it wrong.

I'm envious of people who can give themselves an orgasm through masturbation without difficulty. I'm also envious of people who can watch porn and cum without difficulty. I'm only 24 so I'll figure out eventually I guess.
 
Yes, you'll figure it out.

I'm guessing this might be easier for guys, for the most part. They are full of testosterone when they are young, driven toward orgasm like a powerful magnet

In your original request, you said, "If possible, I want people to tell me the process they went through to figure it out." For me, as a guy, I discovered masturbation and orgasm on my own fairly early in my teenage life. My first encounter with another person was being seduced by an older man about 8 years later. The second encounter, a few weeks after that, involved a young woman looking at me across the dining room table in my rooming house and asking, "Wanna ball?" The adventures took off from there.

I really think you need advice from women, not men.
 
coati said:
Yes, you'll figure it out.

I'm guessing this might be easier for guys, for the most part. They are full of testosterone when they are young, driven toward orgasm like a powerful magnet

In your original request, you said, "If possible, I want people to tell me the process they went through to figure it out." For me, as a guy, I discovered masturbation and orgasm on my own fairly early in my teenage life. My first encounter with another person was being seduced by an older man about 8 years later. The second encounter, a few weeks after that, involved a young woman looking at me across the dining room table in my rooming house and asking, "Wanna ball?" The adventures took off from there.

I really think you need advice from women, not men.
Click to expand...

You're right, I do need more advice from women. Men seem to be more interested in this thread so I don't think that will happen. : (
 
Have you tried writing up any of your fantasies as stories?

Are you looking for advice on how to find out what turns you on, or how to orgasm?
 
greengamegirl said:
I'm looking for advice about things I can do to explore my sexual interests. I apologize if there is a thread about this already. However, I've noticed most people seem to know what they like and what they are looking for. If possible, I want people to tell me the process they went through to figure it out. It doesn't matter if it wasn't a process but the result of an event. The answers do not need to be long.
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1. Do you daydream or fantasize about anything sexual? (kissing, hugging, touching or being touched, seeing a man in a suit, or in underwear, or naked). List these on a piece of paper.

2. What experiences have you already had? ( list them on a piece of paper).

Then,

3. Compare 1 and 2 above and see what is in common as well as what is not. Those items not in common are what you want to find out about.

You do this by,

4. Searching any erotic material you can find.

PM me for more private details if this is not clear to you.
 
GrrlFriday said:
Have you tried writing up any of your fantasies as stories?

Are you looking for advice on how to find out what turns you on, or how to orgasm?
Click to expand...

I haven't tried writing up any of my fantasies as stories so I'll try that.

I'm not looking for advice for what turns me on anymore. I think I was in the beginning but I feel that is up to me to discover. I don't think it is something someone can help me with. I've followed some of the previous advice for that like reading or watching things to see what turns me on. There isn't much more that I can do with that I suppose.

I think it is too early to look for advice on how to orgasm. I think what I'm looking for are masturbation methods I could try that I haven't already. Maybe about how to open up. So far, it seems I need to be relaxed and turned on for that to happen. I previously thought masturbation itself would do that for me so it helps to know it was actually the other way around. I believe I have had an orgasm before but it rarely happens.

Maybe I need more advice about what to do before I masturbate or how to relax more. Preferably what other women do since what works for men wouldn't work for me. Maybe there is a thread for that so I'll try to find it or make one of my own. This topic seems to be turning into a how to so I should probably move it there anyway.
 
LibraStud said:
1. Do you daydream or fantasize about anything sexual? (kissing, hugging, touching or being touched, seeing a man in a suit, or in underwear, or naked). List these on a piece of paper.

2. What experiences have you already had? ( list them on a piece of paper).

Then,

3. Compare 1 and 2 above and see what is in common as well as what is not. Those items not in common are what you want to find out about.

You do this by,

4. Searching any erotic material you can find.

PM me for more private details if this is not clear to you.
Click to expand...

I don't think this exercise will work for me since I haven't had any experiences. I'm putting forth some effort now so I may have some soon.

Step 1 is kind of like the writing stories idea. I will have to try it and see if it helps.
 
educator4U said:
I may have missed something in this thread, but sometimes there is a physiological issue. Have you discussed this with a female ob/gyn? Given the variety of ways that you mentioned that were unsuccessful, that could be a possibility. Another possibility might be a type of "performance anxiety" related to your expectations. Good luck on your journey.
Click to expand...

I don't think it's a physical issue because sometimes I can masturbate no problem. Other days I can't.

I'm not looking to always orgasm. I'm just looking for it to feel good regularly. I think that is a pretty low expectation so I shouldn't have "performance anxiety" about masturbation from just wanting it to feel good. I have a masturbation thread now so I won't discuss this anymore here. I just wanted to address your question.
 
Help is unnecessary?

Maybe help isn't necessary. Obviously, I should approach broadening my horizons the same way I figured out same way I figured out what I liked in the beginning. Trial and error.

I don't know why I thought there was a more complicated way to go about this. Trial and error is the only way to go it seems.
 
Nonsense

greengamegirl said:
I'm looking for advice about things I can do to explore my sexual interests. I apologize if there is a thread about this already. However, I've noticed most people seem to know what they like and what they are looking for. If possible, I want people to tell me the process they went through to figure it out. It doesn't matter if it wasn't a process but the result of an event. The answers do not need to be long.
Click to expand...

This entire thread is nonsense. None of it makes sense after having sex. Having a fantasy and actually doing something can’t be compared. It wasn’t possible for me to know what I truly liked until I tried anything. -__- There is nothing else to say.
 
greengamegirl said:
I'm looking for advice about things I can do to explore my sexual interests. I apologize if there is a thread about this already. However, I've noticed most people seem to know what they like and what they are looking for. If possible, I want people to tell me the process they went through to figure it out. It doesn't matter if it wasn't a process but the result of an event. The answers do not need to be long.
Click to expand...

Process? I guess our minds don't work alike. I know what I like and I don't. I am willing to try some things. Certain things. Sometimes I like them, sometimes not. *shrugs*
 
Jada59 said:
Process? I guess our minds don't work alike. I know what I like and I don't. I am willing to try some things. Certain things. Sometimes I like them, sometimes not. *shrugs*
Click to expand...

I was pretty dumb. It’s simple, try something if you think you might like it. If you do, great. If not, oh well. I don’t know what my problem was. Anyway, case closed.
 
greengamegirl said:
This entire thread is nonsense. None of it makes sense after having sex. Having a fantasy and actually doing something can’t be compared. It wasn’t possible for me to know what I truly liked until I tried anything. -__- There is nothing else to say.
Click to expand...

Reality does not always live up to fantasy.

On the other hand, we learn from experience and extrapolate from similar experiences.

I love women with every fiber of my being.

Yet, some experiences as a teen suggested I just might like giving head to men. I eventually tried it and what do you know? Giving head ROCKS. Women rock more, but I found by pushing my own fantasy boundaries, a whole new world to experience

So perhaps you can't prejudge you'll like this or that, but that's no reason not to try it.

Rule of thumb.

Try anything three times.

The first time to get past the shock of trying something new (especially if it's something extreme like going down on a dude, or in your case, another girl!)

The second time to learn how to do it properly.

The third time is for you to decide if you enjoy it or not.

When you're ready to find out if your fantasy of making out with an older, bi man is really your thing, let me know ;)
 
-________-

What did I learn about myself? I have know idea what’s going on. Best to see what’s around the corner than speculating what it is. Maybe it’s a clown, or maybe it’s an abandoned bundle of cash?


gunthernehmen said:
Reality does not always live up to fantasy.

On the other hand, we learn from experience and extrapolate from similar experiences.

I love women with every fiber of my being.

Yet, some experiences as a teen suggested I just might like giving head to men. I eventually tried it and what do you know? Giving head ROCKS. Women rock more, but I found by pushing my own fantasy boundaries, a whole new world to experience

So perhaps you can't prejudge you'll like this or that, but that's no reason not to try it.

Rule of thumb.

Try anything three times.

The first time to get past the shock of trying something new (especially if it's something extreme like going down on a dude, or in your case, another girl!)

The second time to learn how to do it properly.

The third time is for you to decide if you enjoy it or not.

When you're ready to find out if your fantasy of making out with an older, bi man is really your thing, let me know ;)
Click to expand...
 
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